Say that you were a college student that had a big crush on an

>>17635844
>you go to the dining hall
>she's sitting alone
>you ask if it's okay if you sit with her
>talk to her
>ask for her number

if you are going to the same dining hall / uni places as her just try and casually get near her. once you are in her proximity you can start a casual conversation (either being direct: hey, my name is _ i've seen you around [smile], hows it going? / making some comment about context (eg. food here is pretty good..)). then you have a few options: 1. say i'll add you on facebook or something 2. ask for her number 3. ask if she'd like to go out some time.

main thing is to be chill and friendly (smile)

>>17635844
What anime?

>>17635855
This was about the best strategy I could come up with but I was hoping someone would have a more clever plan of attack. I've had a good bit of success with girls in the past, but it's always been people who have had a long time to get to know me and understand why they'd want to be with me. It seems so bold/risky to just sit down with your balls out like that. I suppose I get hung up at the "talk to her" part. What do I talk about if I don't know anything about her? She'd (presumably) be a bit caught off-guard by some stranger interrupting her regularly scheduled lunch programming and probably not have a lot to say immediately

>>17635904
this is good advice
I've just had a harder time doing it in real life
I'm worried of coming off as creepy / am unsure how I'd start a casual conversation with someone that may not even have a firm grasp on the English language

>>17635909
Tatami Galaxy, highly recommend

I'm not this much of a spazz in real life I promise

>>17635949
> I'm worried of coming off as creepy

It's not creepy as long as you don't say creepy things/sexual things before you know eachother well. Just ask about the uni experience, the food in the dining hall, what activities she's doing etc. find out what she's doing and talk a bit about yourself

> am unsure how I'd start a casual conversation with someone that may not even have a firm grasp on the English language

she will probably feel more awkward about you not understanding her, main thing is to just laugh about any misunderstandings, and don't be afraid to clarify things / make jokes about miscommunications.

it might work out, it might not, but really you are just trying to have a casual conversation with someone, which may or may not lead anywhere. you need to practice this anway.

>>17635844
Here's a really bizarre thought - why not actually meet the girl before you start fantasizing happily-ever-after?

At the moment she is nothing but an anonymous pretty girl to you and you are less than that to her. It might be useful to find out whether she's a bitch or an idiot or a bigot or a slut before you start convincing yourself you're in love.

You might begin by saying Hello.

>>17635958
Cheers. I was hoping for an answer that wasn't this, but I suppose there isn't any way around it. I tried putting myself in the position of someone giving advice to someone in my shoes and this was the best I could come up with... it's just more intimidating to do it than to recommend it. Guess I have to stop being such a softie sooner or later. Thanks anon

>>17635986
No need to be so passive aggressive; that's the point of the thread. I have a good feeling about this girl and want to get to know her but don't have an obvious way to do so due to a lack of overlap in classes/friendcircles/etc

>>17636032
Try to casually speak to at least one new person every few days. Doesn't have to be long conversations, but just try make friendly remarks to people in a relaxed way. You'll be surprised at how open people are to it.

>>17636047
...I should. I have a hard time with this. I'm not super spergy in life, but I have a hard time approaching new people. I'm more than comfortable responding back, but it's very hard for me to take the initiative. It's scary isn't it? But I suppose that's the point of your post, that other people have that same fear and have an easier time saying hello back then saying hello in the first place.

At the same time though, what benefits do you see in superficial conversation? The sort of "oh yeah nice weather we got today" type stuff. I don't sit around talking hard existentialism with my friends all day or anything like that, but I'm not sure what all I'd gain from the conversations you suggest (outside of the ability to have those conversations more easily)
I'm not trying to be critical, I'm trying to understand
thanks~

>>17636090
you aren't trying to have meaningful conversations at all, where you learn about intellectual topics / discuss abstract ideas etc.

just if you practice having casual conversations with random people, you will naturally gain the confidence to know that you can actually approach anyone you want to approach. you've started conversations with lots of people, and seen that nothing bad has happened; and you've also learned things about yourself (eg, you might realise you get anxious and start to overshare etc.) that you can fix.

and it is how you build rapport with people. you see a guy, you have a casual conversation about the canteen food, then you both leave. then a week later you see him again, and there is a familiarity, that allows you to take the conversation a bit further. you ask about his course, etc. and then you might arrange to play a sport with him, or go to a game, or whatever. or even if you don't, the third time you see him there will be even more familiarity etc.

same with girls. you have a superficial conversation with a girl in the canteen, and a few days later you see her with a hot friend. because you have already had that conversation you can go up to her and say 'how you doin' etc.

basically these little conversations about nothing are actually incredibly important (yet easy) steps when it comes to making new friends/relationships

>>17636117
This has been very helpful. You have a good knack for explaining things. Thank you. Have a good day anon!!

>>17635844
>Say that you were a college student that had a big crush on an international student that goes to the same college. Not some basic exotic-chasing, but a real genuine belief that you two would be great together based on somewhat circumstantial evidence (dress, mannerisms, behavior in groups).

What a fucking waste of dubs.

You dumb ass this is a basic crush. You're describing textbook infatuation.

This is just some regular bitch you want to bang. Act accordingly.

>>17635844

jesus christ that delusion. you think you would be objectively good together despite not knowing if she can speak english?

you don't know whether or not you'd be a match. just whether or not you want her. dont speak for her when you dont even know if she speaks english

>>17636149
btw don't expect things to go smoothly at first. if you are like me there will be a lot of awkward times, and times when you give up. but if you keep getting back on the horse eventually the confidence will come (this can takes weeks/months/years depending on what stage you are at/your personality)

>>17635844
>Now say you had no classes together, no extracurriculars in common, never ran into one another at parties or social gatherings, don't know the student's major nor even if they can speak English.

How in the seven hells do you know if you are compatible? You know nothing about her.

I know this has been said before in the thread but it needs repeating. You are projecting. This will be creepy however you do it.

>>17636323

i can telll by the way she looks, dresses etc.

>>17636342
>i can telll by the way she looks, dresses etc.

You don't know whether or not she speaks the language. Don't delude yourself.

>>17636355

are you so dumb that you don't even know basic psychology? you can tell al ot from a person just by looking at her, and she looks like we'd get along great.

>>17636374

Hope this is trolling and not your actual thoughts. You are in for a lot of disappointments in life if you are so easily convinced you "figure out" people.

>>17636374
We're advising you to stop projecting and realize there's no way to avoid creeping her out since you're idolising her, a stranger. You can ignore the advice but then why are you here?

>>17636386

im not idolizing her, its not that hard to know if someones a basic match, its not like you just approch strangers without thinking about whether or not they'd be good for you, that'd be dumb.

trust me i can tell by her mannerisms.

its normal to be attracted to girls from afar and fantasise how perfect they are with you. when you actually speak to them you realise that reality is different, but sometimes it does work out :).

these guys are just saying in an incredibly rude way that it is sensible to not create too detailed a fantasy world, before you have had any actual conversations to find out what she is like, and whether she is interested

ie. stop fantasising too much about girls, just go and speak to them. if you build it up too much in your head it is less likely to go well

>>17636400
>its not like you just approch strangers without thinking about whether or not they'd be good for you, that'd be dumb.

She is a stranger, though. You don't know her. You just know how she looks. If you never even heard her speaking, you can't even tell is she is nice, dumb, smart, cruel, etc.

>>17636419

ive heard her speak i just dont know if she also knows english, dont play dumb.

you can tell a lot by a girl just by the way she acts. she seems nice

>>17636427
>ive heard her speak i just dont know if she also knows english, dont play dumb.

This is not real. Did you understand what she said?

>>17636432

no, but you don't need to. if she speaks english thats great, but i already know that were probably going to be a good match. objectively.

>>17636439

Objectively, this is a troll.

You don't even know what language she speaks yet already know you two would be perfect together? I can't tell if this is adorable in a sad sort of way, or just plain regular sad.

OP here

>>17636149
was the last post I made disregard the troll

c'mon guys he didn't even type like me
OBVIOUSLY I don't know we'd be a good fit; I just have a hunch. I wanted to know if /adv/ had any creative ways of trying to get to know her better aside from just going up and talking to her. I'm fully aware of the likelihood of seeming creepy ("hey stranger i have a good feeling about us wanna talk") and was looking for a more graceful approach

>>17636804
to elaborate, the reason why I'm asking for help is because I'm very worried of coming off as creepy if I just point blank approach her

I wouldn't even know what to say

I go to a small (~3k) college where people generally keep to themselves so such bold approaches aren't really commonplace

re: a few other points in the thread
There's actually a grain of truth in what the troll's saying: for people that put effort into their appearance, you can actually glean a lot from it. If someone puts dedicated effort into creating an aesthetic, you can draw fairly accurate conclusions. Her artwork is really genuinely in line with what I like (abstract expressionism, so not something super generic that lots of people would have in common) and the way I see her behaving in groups is similar to the way I do (which sounds stalkerish and vague at the same time, but hey that's why I'm asking for help)

sage

>>17636408
This is a great post!

Would you have advice on how to un build it up in my head? I think I've created too much of a fantasy but I'm not really sure how to deconstruct it. The building blocks of that fantasy will still exist (and the reason I think there's a good chance things would work out), but what's a way to lose the extrapolations?

sage again because i'm still talking to myself

holy crap I forgot sort of the linchpin that gives this whole ordeal any semblance of success

I have a lot of (admittedly circumstantial and hopefully not imagined) evidence that she has a good feeling about me too. That's why I don't want to mess this up so bad. She'll make eye contact a beat or two too long, she'll move her stuff to a table near (but not too near) me from the other side of the dining hall if she sees me, stuff like that

Have you tried.... talking to her?

>>17636862
>>17636900

don't think about her at all any more. it will not help. she is nothing to you. think about other things.

then when you see her, don't think about it, just get near her (slowly and subtly), and strike up a conversation as explained higher up.

it might work, it might not. if it doesn't your fantasy will fall and you will begin to learn to not fantasise too much (which doesn't help really, because it puts reality and yourself under too much pressure to live up to something impossibly perfect)