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Anonymous
Not sure what to do, or how to feel about 'attempted' suicide 2016-10-03 16:12:37 Post No. 17632665
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Not sure what to do, or how to feel about 'attempted' suicide 2016-10-03 16:12:37 Post No. 17632665
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Not sure what to do, or how to feel about 'attempted' suicide
Anonymous
2016-10-03 16:12:37
Post No. 17632665
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I've been emotionally and mentally unstable for many years now. Its gotten better in general, but I still have my moments. Typically there's alcohol or something else involved.
Last night I almost killed myself. I got really drunk, nuked everybody on my facebook, cried like an idiot when I was on the phone with my friend, and then said some wild shit to people on messenger. I'm a fucking idiot and feel extremely ashamed about all of that.
The night culminated with me sticking a loaded double barrel 20 gauge to my head with my finger on the trigger. I wanted to do it, but I pussed out hard. I kept trying to remind myself that my pain would be over and I wouldn't have to deal with these feelings anymore, or even have to exist, which sounds great sometimes, but I still couldn't do it. I'm kind of glad I didn't, I guess.
I haven't told anybody, and don't even know if I should. What would you guys do? What's the rational thing to do?
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>>17632665
100 year old vaudeville joke:
PATIENT (moving arm or something): Doctor, it hurts when I do this
DOCTOR: So don't do that!
Modern version
YOU: When I get drunk I get stupidly suicidal
DOCTOR: . . . .
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>>17632711
The alcohol definitely played a part last night, but suicide has been a strong theme throughout most of my adult life. I had a gf that killed herself, and ever since its been a struggle to stay alive. I've done the same thing sober several times, although I was in a much worse place. Valid point, though
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bump please
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>>17632665
Stop drinking.
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>>17632720
You should talk to professional help. It sounds like you have some unresolved grief.
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>>17632814
This.
Please seek help. And apologize to your friends for christ sake.
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if you stopped when you were about to kill yourself, you must be thinking about something in your life
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>>17633458
I didnt have a singular reason for not doing it, no clarifying thought. It was just fear, and the realization that my folks would be fucked up from it
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