Turned 30 this month. Offering general life advice. I'm

>>17614060
What could you possibly inform me of? How to properly raise children in this generation of pimps baby mamma's and pompadours?

>>17614215
Well, I guess you have all the information you need. I'm offering for others you might have some general questions, and maybe someone with experience can help them.

>>17614060
I feel as tho once I hit 30 its game over. Did you feel the same?

>>17614243
Not really. 30 really is the new 20. I definitely feel like there is alot more to do in life. To be honest, I feel a lot wiser compared to my 20 year old self. When I was 20, I had a difficult time with abstract concepts. Now, I understand them a lot easier.

>>17614246
I feel as if I don't have a house, car and wife by the time I'm 30 then I should just kill myself

>>17614266
no need for that. Lot's people get those things later in life, and do just fine.

>>17614060
What do you think of 100% body weight workouts?

I know they are generally less effective in terms of speed of muscle gain, but reinforce more flexibility than a machine+weight only workout. And yeah it would be best to combine all three. But, is it possible to make consistent, albeit not fast, gains with only a body weight workout.

>>17614285
I think so. The basic principle that leads to muscle growth is the progressive overload principle. Meaning you lift until your muscle can't lift, so your body repairs them, and makes them stronger/bigger for next time.

>>17614285
http://www.slideshare.net/MustafaErbay/you-are-your-own-gym-the-bible-of-bodyweight-exercises-for-men-and-women

here is a book that might help you.

>>17614305
>http://www.slideshare.net/MustafaErbay/you-are-your-own-gym-the-bible-of-bodyweight-exercises-for-men-and-women

kewl thanks op, i have found some resources but never something this comprehensive.

Happy belated birthday.

>>17614060

I'm 30 myself, and pretty successful when it comes to a career, but working out I struggle to keep motivated for.

I'm by no means fat, but I'm right in that "average" space. Working out has always hurt miserably, and I've never powered through to that point where I get the endorphin rush that makes me feel good.

Any tips?

>>17614313
Thank you, I appreciate it.

>>17614316
are you into anything physical? sports, stuff like that? Have you ever enjoyed anything about the gym?

>>17614321

I love watching all sports (die hard football and hockey fan, love basketball too). If I was more successful, I'd love playing sports. I played football in high school, and always joke that my career was cut short by a tragic lack of talent.

I can't say I've ever enjoyed anything about the gym. Everything is pure, horrible pain. I feel no sense of accomplishment, and the only slight motivator I have is vanity. I want to look good for girls, and that's not enough. I'm hoping for a switch to flick or something.

>>17614338
At my gym, they had pickup basketball games. I also used to go to meetup.com, and look for sport meetups. I would start by doing the shit you love. See if people play flag football, basketball, maybe some hockey.

I take it you want to lift. I'm not sure if you have a injury or you just don't care for the gym, but I would start by using the machines, and go light. Get the form down, you'll find that in the first 6 months, you'll get some serious strength gains. Get a buddy to go with too. I always enjoyed shooting the shit with my friends while we lift.

My major advice is find what you like(running, biking, lifting, swimming, etc) and build a fitness routine off of that.

also, when it comes to not liking something. I always stuck it out, and sorta pretended that I liked it, then after about a month of that, I end up actually liking it, sorta like tricking my brain. Just food for thought.

if you could go back to 18 year old what or will you change or redo?

How life looks like when you live by yourself? i'm 19 and i've digged being independent and alone since ever, but i don't know how it actually looks like.

Do you have a relationship/wife/girlfriend? How about kids? Do you plan to?

>>17615213
I always enjoyed it. I prefer the alone time, but on the other hand, I do enjoy having people around too. Both had pros and cons. My roommates are my childhood friends, so I enjoy having roommates, but living alone is pretty awesome

>>17615296
I have a girlfriend, no kids. When I was in my early 20's I wanted to have kids, now I'm leaning to no. I just really like my freedom at the moment.

with kids, there is a lot of social pressure to have them, but I see my friends with their own kids, and the lack of freedom they have, and It just makes me not want them. I can go out to a bar, back up my shit and drive across america, or get a plane ticket and go to europe. Kids prevent that.

I want to independize myself as soon as I can. This is my current situation.

>25 yo
>Peru
>minimun wage job
>currently studying and paying myself for education
>no social life at all
>fat, but not ugly as I'm tall and have a good looking face
>family has debts

I see that there's no light at the end of the tunnel so far. Have you ever being in a situation like this before?

Is there any hope?

>>17615093
As odd as it sounds, I feel more intelligent now then I did when I was 18. I feel like I get concepts now, that were harder for me to understand at that age. Calculus for example. I took a calc class at 18 failed, took it at 25 aced it with flying colors. I would redo how I think about learning. When I was younger, I would try to memorize things, instead of understand them. What I learned as I grew older if you truly understand something memorization comes easier.

Sometimes understanding, takes playing with concepts, and screwing stuff up. I would have taken the time to understand topics. I would have also chose a different major.

>>17615769
I have it sucks, but perseverance will win out. You just have to get going. The trick is to solve a problem everyday, you solve enough problems and you'll succeed. Look at what you have in front of you, and solve those problems, work your way up to the bigger problems.

If being fat is a big deal, I would exercise if i were you, big confidence booster.

>>17615788

I would love to, but being a poorfag bot studying and working I don't have lot of time/access to a gym.

Unless you recommend some excercises you could do by your own with no equipment.

>>17615802
https://www.pdf-archive.com/2015/03/01/you-are-your-own-gym/you-are-your-own-gym.pdf

A book on bodyweight exercises

>>17615812

This is a godsend, thanks anon.

Now to find some time to actually do them.

>interview tomorrow
>interview 'role play' with recruiter today
>sick, feel foggy headed
>all interview questions appear to be "tell me a time when you x y z" like overcame obstacles or handled risk
>recent grad, literally nothing remarkable to talk about
>literally never been in most of these situations
>too foggy headed to think clearly
>"anon you sound introverted, can you handle having meetings?"

The fuck do I do? I think I might have overexertion not a cold, at least; multiple hours of exercising a day and I haven't been eating much. Food doesn't appeal to me at all right now, although I choked some down anyway. But I feel like death and I'm dizzy and slow right now.

>>17615889
I would have a good meal, and see how you feel. Maybe the stress of the interview is getting to you. I think about things that you have done. I would talk about how you made a risk judgement. Take a real life story, and augment it to fit your situation.

I would talk about thishttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risk_management and how you use risk management in your own life.

What's the first day of a new technical/office job like? I'm relocating for a job but have no idea what I'll be walking into.

It's a medium sized company so they have some formal procedures.

>>17615948
usually there was a orientation, and a lot of meetings. It took a good week before they sent me to do the job they paid for.

Usually it involves signing documents, and stuff like that.

When you were teenager, were you lazy or you did something like working out/hobies/work?

When you got your apartments and how?

>>17615931

It's not interview stress, I think it's overexertion. I mean I'll think about situations but I have nothing. I've never done anything, I just fucking graduated. May as well ask an infant about his management experience. I mean if you just don't have any what's to be done? I have no food, so I'm drinking tea. Can't go shopping until after 5 when they stop calling me. Like 5 phonecalls just today for this. I guess I'll just make up some lies or something.

>>17616277
I mean you literally never had to overcome anything. Like you never be bullied, you never been uncomfortable a single day in your life, you never had a difficult decision. I bet you money, If you let me look through your life, I could find something.

>>17616178
I was lazy, and today, I loathe laziness, but I also was actively involved in lifting, sports, and had hobbies.

When I went in to get my first apartment, they asked me for a lease, and a down payment. Personally, I don't like being held legally accountable for shit. So, my friend signed the lease, and I payed half. When it comes to renting, I always try to avoid signing leases, and I prefer to live in someones house, like renting out a room.

Any career advice for a discontented first jobber?

I work as a junior programmer for a tech company that is predominantly managed by tight fisted Indians who chase money but don't know how to organise projects or treat their employees with respect.
I've been stuck on my pitifully low base salary for over a year now, half of which goes on rent, which gets me a room in a shared house. Upper management simply don't give a fuck about anyone, and I'm not even thanked by them when they know I've worked overtime (often for free)
I feel completely trapped because my job drains me (it's mentally demanding) and stops me from really having any fun.
I have made some efforts to apply for better jobs but nothing's happened yet. In my tired state I feel like I'm making mistakes on applications or just not sounding enthusiastic enough. Another issue is that the majority of work that I've done is property of my employer and if I used these as demos to show future employers I'd be doing so illegally. So my portfolio is almost unchanged from when I started there.

>>17616332
Always look for a job, when you don't need it. Look for a job, and seek to answer questions/problems of future employers. A good book for job hunting is what color is my parachute? check out that book, and develop yourself professionally through individual work.

What i would do if I were you is buy a journal and write 10 ideas a day on how your skill set can solve a current business problem. Do this everyday, the ideas can be video game ideas, or any programming idea. Just come up with solutions and solve them.

Also if you can try to lower expenses. move out of your room or get a roommate or something. I feel like a junior programmer like yourself, should have opportunity. Also, try to network, and talk to other people, maybe that have a programming meetup, where you can meet other people that do the same thing.

>30
>life advice
Come back when you're 40.

>>17616305

I overcame an abusive relationship, negligent parents, social anxiety, severe depression, poverty, etc. but I'm not about to get into my life story and deepest darkest secrets with this cunts.

>>17614060
I'll be 30 in a couple years. I'm a fat virgin. Should I just take the plunge and hire a whore? No respectable girl would want me so late in life so I'm not sure what else I could do?

>>17616442
fuck it man, don't get all depression talk, but talk about those obstacles. It shows good character, maybe don't go indepth, but definitely talk about how poverty has taught you to preserver, work hard for what you want. I can tell you obviously have the material to talk about, you just need to frame it in a way that makes you seem attractive to them. Business care about what you can provide, so talk in that frame of mind, how does your hardships in life make you a asset to them? Answer that question, and you have your talking points.

>>17616452
If it is a body image issue change it, develop some good habits. I don't think you need a whore, first respect yourself, and then develop yourself. Start with doing one meaningful thing a day. It can be making your bed, or reading a book. Just anything that involves improvement on your part. 30 isn't old, look at what this guy is saying>>17616420. At 30 you are still a kid

>>17614060
I'll bite. I have a gf whose never around, Im ni college and had my second class with a girl whom I kinda fancy and she varies from glancing at me, pointing her feet at me to keeping a bit away and arms closed. Im going to concerts on friday and, earlier in the day, Ill have another class with her if she doesnt bail. Should I try to invite her to come with or just go alone? (because its friday and my mates are going back home for the weekend, while Im staying).

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OP, I need advice. I'm 22 and I will have my Associates degree this january. I went to community college and am just doing a general studies, no specific major. I am fucked. Idk where to go from here. The web design program at a nearby tech school looks nice, but thats 2 more years of not working. I want a short certification, something that can make me $$ so I can travel and do fun shit. At the very least, I want to be able to get a down payment on a small house.

>>17616525
I have a house, car, college degree, decent job ($65k/year), and a moderate sized group of friends. You'd think it'd be easy but a fact of this world is nobody wants an ugly nerd let alone a fat ugly nerd. People enjoy being my friend but women don't want to go any farther than that. That's fine and I don't blame them from that.

>>17616546
I think the honorable thing to do is go alone. You probably heard this, but I don't think college is the time to have a girlfriend honestly. You'll be changing so much, and growing and maturing. It is highly unlikely you and your girlfriend will end up at the same place emotionally, maturely, and possibly even career wise. College is a time when you'll be moving around a lot, and is a opportunity to explore. Study abroad, go to concerts, find out what you hate, find out what you like. If you are having issues with the girlfriend. I would say break it off, and explore, when you guys can do it mutually.

I think if you really care about your girlfriend go by yourself. If you care, but are thinking about breaking up, ask the girl to go, at least make a new friend, I mean you're in college, some connections you make there can affect you professionally as well.

Anyway, the point I'm making is College isn't a good time to have a girlfriend. Some people make it work, but I feel there are a lot of experiences you'll miss out on, because you are so focused on a relationship, when you should be focused on professional development, growing experiences, and fun.

>>17616619
You have all the things you need. You just need to hit the gym, lose some of that weight, and build some self confidence. Lifting weights, and developing a good body does a number to your confidence. Improves it so much. Go do that, develop yourself. The only thing i ask is don't become arrogant, everyone I know who experience improvement always falls into that trap, don't let that be you.

Don't talk that way about yourself either. That doesn't help anyone, makes you feel awful, and others see you a charity case. You had the makings to get a degree, and a good job. You had the ability to buy a house. You sure as hell as the ability to improve your overall health and mental well being.

>>17616624
Mate, Im 26, getting my Masters (because I'm an idiot and should've finished ages ago) and my gf is my age and working. We've been together for 5 years. What you said doesn't apply to me but to a snot-nosed 19-23 year old.
With that said, reconsider your advice, please?

OP how do you make friends as an adult/post-college? and how do you find time for it when you have a "real job"?

I'm 25, still live at home with my parents and I graduated last year with an ok degree in computer science but I still work in retail because I'm just not motivated to look for jobs. All I ever think about is my super unfulfilled personal/social life because I really just want a girlfriend and I've never had any kind of relationship/female contact

I know regular people meet girls through friends and "going out" but I don't really know how I'm supposed to go about that with zero friends
I know my priorities are fucked and I should be looking for a job but im just really lonely

>>17616604
I went to college and got a 4 year degree. My brother went to a technical school for computer programming (2 year program). Made 60k is first year out of school, 140k by his third year. I've heard of people well getting their degree. Traveling and working, sorta a long range paid internship. Ask yourself, do you have the skills to be a web designer now. If not, go to the two year program, get a web design job or something related well in school. Network with your teachers, ask them questions about the profession. There are work programs, where you can travel and do work for other companies. My buddy was a programmer, who traveled the world and ended up in australia. You might have to take a pay cut, but the experience is worth it.

>>17616653
Roger, sounds like you have your ducks in order. I wouldn't go with this girl then. Sounds like marriage might be a thing? Then don't do it. Would you be comfortable with your GF doing the same thing?

It is pretty easy to fancy something new, but it sounds like you and your GF have built something. I wouldn't put myself in a suspect position, just because a girl gives you attention. Curious, how are things with the girlfriend?

>>17616666
So, I'm a military officer, and I travel often. So, I'm in your position quite a lot. What I did was use a website called Meetup.com, and did Online dating, okcupid to be exact. Meetup.com is a place where people get together that like similar things. I usually use it for sports(softball, soccer, flag football) and boardgames. I've dated and met many women this way, and I definitely recommend it. You meet people through mutual activities. It gives you something to talk about and is less awkward.

I ususally try to network with people, and make new friends. If you can make a friend with someone, then getting a girlfriend is just an extra step. Having a good job usually helps with meeting people. It just shows people you have your shit together.

>>17616695
Things are going well, she is always hinting (when not flat-out talking about it) at wedding.
Well, about the girl, I always "find" someone to fancy and nothing ever comes about, because either no conditions are met or they are but I don't cheat out of respect. I'm just lonely, without friends and have come to realize friends, men or women, are good to have. Funny enough, I've had deeper talks and mutual interests with chicks than guys. Might just be my "type", but chicks fall for humour and guys try to talk me down, dunno.

>>17616721
I see what you mean. Same thing for me. I had the view that gender doesn't matter when it comes to friendships. This may be true for you and your GF. This has never been the case for any of my past relationships. They all have been very territorial about women being my friend.

I would try to get some guy friends. Find out if your GF is cool with you have chick friends. Maybe she is confident enough, where it isn't a problem

>>17615757
And your girl is okay with it?

My girlfriend wants children really badly.

>>17616740
Honestly no, but she knows we are going to breakup eventually anyway.

26 year old women have lots of belly weight unless I literally eat nothing, I have tried low carb high protein about everything, have two kiddos both csection, I have a bad thyroid not sure the best approach to get rid of the chunk I am very active too

>>17616736
Well, she doesn't like it when girls talk to me or even say hi with a smile. Definetly doesn't like me going to concerts/out alone and I can never hear the end of it when I mention a girl, be it a classmate, actress, whatever.

>>17616758
baring any medical issues, usually the problem is poor calorie counting. People often under estimate what they eat, and over estimate what do.

Usually a workout journal, and diet log are a way to remedy this. Also, have patience belly fat is the last thing to go, and usually takes a while.

>>17616760
yeah, brother. You got to stick to dudes. Any hobbies, maybe something that can get you around a bunch of guys? I usually did sports, made a lot of guy friends that way.

>>17616786
Nah, I prefer to run alone at night or lift some weights at home. Generally, I prefer the freedom of being alone, but lately, I've seen pictures of classmates having a ball together, going out for dinners, drinking (which I admit I love) and generally jsut having a good time and it kinda hits me inside in a way I can't just counter by doing the exact same things, but alone.

>>17616805
I'm the same way, but I force myself to hang out with people from time to time. I like to keep connections. No man is an island

>22
>kissless virgin
>NEET for 14 months
>no degree but did decent in school and have a college qualification in IT
>have 1 year's work experience as a civil servant at a call centre, achieved a customer service qualification while there
>have £11,000+ in savings
>probably have some mental health issues

A little over a month ago, I started working out 5 days a week and cleaning up my diet (not overweight, mainly doing it for the self-discipline benefits). I've been consistent since start and it's done wonders for my mental well-being. The circumstances of my life remain the same as above but at least I'm not fantasising about suicide everyday.

I know it's an extremely open-ended and perhaps even dumb question but with the above information, what course do you think you would take next? Not asking you to tell me how to live my life so I can conform, I know what things I like. I just want input so I don't miss context from older folk who have the benefit of hindsight, don't like making decisions in a vacuum y'know

>>17616740

I'm a female who doesn't want kids. Not all of us do. Then again I'm a channing /a/sspie introvert. Maybe like 5-10% of girls don't want kids, but the problem is about 80% of those are sjw retards. So really it's a crapshoot but Trump will fix it.

I have something on my mind, OP. I have a chance to go to a great state school, or at least pretty good. I feel like living the single life, since most of my life I've either had one squeeze at a time or was in an actual relationship. On the other hand, there's this girl that I've been friends with, and I know it might seem like I've been friendzoned by saying we've been friends, but I can kinda feel some good vibes and see some good interaction between us; I can really feel the chemistry sometimes. I also want to start a band and s hip hop career, even though I know I won't get big as it's mainly just for fun.

Do I go away or stay, or another option? Thanks in advance!

>>17616991
hey brother, I think you are pretty inspiring. It is one thing to have it all and do well. It's another to see whats wrong, and make the proper corrections to change. Good work

I was neet for about a year at one point. What got me out of depression was doing something. I found my grounding in exercise. It is my focus and it's how I start my day. What I did from there was ask some tough questions of myself. I asked, what do I want to do? where do I enjoy doing? When was I happiest? What are some problems I can solve that I can financially gain from?

I then bought 2 notebooks. one day planner, and one journal, and I made a schedule of what I wanted to accomplish. At the time I was 22, All I wanted was a women, I didn't care for my career too much. I was grinding out school, and I really didn't know my direction yet.

For my women issue, what I did first was make friends with anyone and anything. I didn't care. I made friends. It could be some old man, I made him my friend. I exchanged numbers with anyone and anything. I didn't know this at the time, but this made me sociable. It was good practice. The women eventually came, but it was cause of my "practice" at socializing that it did. Relationships, romantic, friendships all of them are bridges that can lead to a job opportunity or maybe your first love. Anyway, being where you are at. That was my next move. I wanted a social group. I wanted friends.

>>17616991
Next was work, I applied everywhere and anywhere. I didn't care. Now, I would do it differently. I would apply to a job with idea of building the skill set I wanted. Let's say I wanted to know more about computers. I would apply to a computer shop, If I had nothing to offer. I would offer to clean the store or whatever. My goal would be to learn about the subject I want, in real time. I couple this by taking classes in the career I want. My degree is in criminology, good degree to make you a better person, bad degree for money. I would choose a degree that you enjoy, yet makes you the most money. Again, I would try very hard to couple my education with real world experience. Working with people in the profession I want.

Investing, I would take some time to learn about investing. Saving is awesome, but you need your money to work for you.

I'm going to leave some books that you can read, that might be helpful on your journey. I hope this is helpful.

investing
http://doc.xueqiu.com/14cf53ebdeb1cd3fd7a1bfa2.pdf

social-a PUA book on conversation I hate PUA, but I think this book works
http://m4ker.free.fr/Essential%20Seduction/[Juggler]_The_Juggler_Method_Encyclopedia_(Second_Edition).pdf

ignore all the alpha male crap, and PUA stuff. Overall, It is a great book on just being a good conversationalist

last one for job hunting is- what color is my parachute. Good luck brother, I wish you the best.

I'm tired.
Just so fucking tired. All the time. Of everything.
It feels like trying to date is just a minefield of fuck, trying to talk about anything inevitably turns into politics now, can't even talk about hobbies without it devolving into some bullshit argument.

Everything is fighting, arguing, or potentially gambling with my entire future. Everything feels like it's just asking me to give to it without ever giving back, and I feel so isolated and detached from everything because there's no communities I'm allowed to be a part of without catching shit for it.

>>17617049
I can agree with that. I know a few ladies, who don't care for children

>>17617049
How old are you?
I feel like the older I get the fewer and fewer women exist that aren't basically engaged or already single mothers.
And I'm only 23.

>>17617192
I think the option to choose is one of only freedoms we have, but whatever you choose, have a vision and go after it.

Personally, I'm a travel nut, so I would leave and get some experience under my belt. I personally would choose the university. But do this experiment, flip a coin and say heads go to the university, or tails stay at home. In midair, you'll prefer one over the other. That is the one you should choose.

>>17617296
I had the nasty habit of getting into arguments all the time. I'm pretty liberal, so I would argue hardcore with people about politics. What I learned is argument only divided people, so I changed my outlook. Instead of argument to prove a point or win, I would have a conversation to understand someones point of view. I wouldn't try to change their mind or tell them what I thought. I would just listen to them.

Now that is my philosphy I try to understand what someone feels about a topic, whether I disagree or not. If I don't agree with them, I usually will say, if they want to know what I think, something like this "I may not agree with you, but I respect your point of view." This adjustment to my outlook has preserved so many relationships that would have fell apart. I'm much more likeable now, and Have more connections. Now, I never argue. I hope this helps.

>>17617261
>>17617295

Thanks a lot, my dude.

Sounds like we're on the same page with our foundation of self-improvement being exercise. For anyone else reading, I can't overstate how beneficial it has been for me, even in the short time I've been doing it. I've always leaned towards creative fields so I feel as though that is something I'd like to pursue. I did recently buy a small notebook that I carry everywhere to jot down concepts and musings that I might want to expand on in writing.

At the same age, I'm totally fantasising about having a woman constantly too. I always used to talk about not being interested in relationships and how I'd ideally live the rest of my life alone but, well, loneliness is a slow burner. I do have a handful of friends but I very rarely leave the house. I can handful myself well enough in social situations, I may not be Mr. Charisma but I also don't clam up, I've been told before that I'm likeable so I'll take that point.

I'm going to continue my exercise routine and deal with a small list of tasks (related to possible OCD) then I'm going to make a conscious effort to leave the house more, regardless of whether I have plans. I know now that I need to change my current predicament. It's strange that while I'm still very young, I can already feel the effects age is having on my personality. Eventually, time will catch up with us all.

Thanks for the book recommendations too, and good luck with your own life going forward.

>>17617563

Handle myself*