I'm poor and my boyfriend is well off, we see each other

He has got other women on the line. Do you only meet when he needs"it". Something to ponder. Most people dont marry out of their social class

>>17611033
how much do you charge each time now ? how much do you want ?

>>17611063
'm not a hooker, the $100 is for train tickets.

>>17611058
That's not it, we talk every spare moment he has. But yes he's a very selfish lover and when I am with him it's all about his needs 90% of the time.

>>17611069
>he's a very selfish lover and when I am with him it's all about his needs 90% of the time
you mean he is a very selfish person, money or no. He has trained you well

What do you offer in this relationship that would make him want to do this weekly?

I used to date a girl who was around 60 miles away and it got old real fast.

>>17611069
>m not a hooker
wait that doesn't add up

>>17611033
This is going to sound hard but unless you bring something outside of companionship or sex he has no real motive to invest in you. He spunds like he has his life in order and you are, as you said, poor so dont really give him much. You are a money sink and yes it is selfish to expect him to use his money to see you, especially 100.

You should find a man more geographically closer and more within your socio economic level. 100 dollars a month is a lot for someone and by the sounds of it your relationship is not ideal, for him at least.

>>17611087
What do I offer?

This isn't a business transaction, we're supposed to be together and do anything for each other. If he has the thought process you do why is he even with me? He should just go get a hooker.

>>17611093
Why not? He doesn't pay me anything, we only meet twice a month because that's all I can afford.

>>17611080
Well yes, he's a selfish person in a lot of ways but in some others he's not. He spends all his free time talking with me for one.

It's his money.

You are a leech.

>>17611117
But I love him, why do I have to "bring" something like it's a business deal. Surely all that matters is that I care about him and he cares about me? Why are you looking at things from a "what do I get out of it" point of view?

>>17611129
>why is he even with me? He should just go get a hooker
exactly, and he found the cheapest one. I see why he is well off now, the man clearly knows business

>He won't do this thing for me that I would do for him!
There's a reason he's well off. He's been taught to save just like his parents and if I was his position I'd think you were a gold digger for asking since I'd be the one paying. Also you shouldn't be wanting to move out with him unless you can cover your portion of the bills.

>>17611129
>twice a month
>bf gf
that's ..weird

>>17611131
I'm a leech for wanting to see him more often?

I don't have the money, if I did I'd pay myself. I always go to see him, he never comes to see me. I pay every time, despite barely surviving each month. Why am I a leech for wanting him to spend $100, which he wouldn't even notice if it fell out of his wallet and he's said so himself, to see him more?

You love him but he does not feel the same way. Start moving on. A breakup is imminent.

>>17611129
Romantically its not a business transaction but practically and end of the day, it is. A guy who similarly is poor and brings no major/ any income is by and large useless and barring a remarkable level of chemistry, is totally unsuited for a relationship.

Stability is a huge part of relationship. Money brings that. A girl can still get away with that but only if she, like above, is great. Top level companion, loyal, loving. But today mostly, a woman normally is expected to contribute. Like a man.

He is bassicaly sustaining his life and yours, assuming you intend marriage. That really strains things to a crazy level and unless he is filthy rich, imprqcticle. Get some skills, a degree and a job and then you can expect your relationship to last. Otherwise expect a break up down the line.

Romance is naive in this situation, practicality comes at the end of the day and this isnt.

Yeah sorry to say but he doesn't care much for or about you. If he were crazy about you he'd try to see you as often as possible, but it seems he got comfortable. And you don't know if he really spends all his free time with you, and you don't want to know either.

Nothing good is going to come out of this type of guy and he won't change the way he is unless life kicks him in the balls. So just leave him.

>>17611129
Well thats why I'm asking, why is he with you? Is he really ugly and you're the closest girl he can find? Why would a guy willingly date a girl so far away unless it's out of desperation?

I can see why you like him, or at least one reason. He's responsible with his high income. Clearly your income limits your ability to travel to him consistently. That would imply a big difference.

Right now he's got a pretty decent little fling going on. His hometown is his territory and he's free to do or see whatever. You're limited by travel so you cannot do any pop-in's without some financial planning. Everything you do together is planned out in advance and that's a game that benefits him. Consider your situation. He could meet a new, local girl anytime and it wouldnt interfere with your relationship at all. She wouldnt resent this distance either so she'd be mentally superior to you.

>>17611170
>Right now he's got a pretty decent little fling going on. His hometown is his territory and he's free to do or see whatever. You're limited by travel so you cannot do any pop-in's without some financial planning.
OP I know you don't want to believe this but this is a seriously huge possibility. It's the first thing I thought when yous said you see him twice a month. Saw a post a couple weeks ago about the same thing, except the roles were reversed. She lived far away and the guy was always paying to see her. Surprise, he wasn't the only "boyfriend" paying a visit.

>>17611136
Cause thats how things work now. In fact thats how GOOD families end up. You bring something to the table after romance.

>>17611170
>>17611156
OP don't listen to these assholes. You clearly love the guy and want to spend more time with him. You're not at fault.

There's someone out there for you to make you happy.

>>17611156
That's so fucking wrong, I refuse to believe anyone who isn't a piece of shit looks at relationships like that.

File: 1444618158073.png (88KB, 301x289px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 301x289px

I want to hug you Opie, c'mere.

>>17611187
Its how upper middle and upper class do. There is a reason they are where they are.
They arent assholes, they are smart.
Also >>17611182

>>17611184
Given how one sided things are in bed doesn't that count for something? I may not bring money to the table but I do other things for him. I iron his clothes while I'm there, clean the house, do the dishes. Oh let me guess, that's not good enough is it?

Not only do I have to spoil him I have to support myself to the extent where I can keep paying to go see him all the time, while he sacrifices nothing.

>>17611202
>I may not bring money to the table but I do other things for him. I iron his clothes while I'm there, clean the house, do the dishes. Oh let me guess, that's not good enough is it?
That would've been fine and dandy with me hon, google "feminisim" and accept the women of your generation are retarded.

>>17611197
>They arent assholes, they are smart

They're still assholes, they don't get together for love they get together for money. That's not how I look at things, if you love someone you love them. Rich or poor, sick or healthy. You're supposed to help each other, not have a "well I'll do this if you do this" arrangement like you're on some barter system.

>>17611202
Don't bother with them, they are jerks who only look to get something out of someone.

>>17611202
But you said that he was putting money towards seeing you, 100 dollars? It is nice what you are doing but considering the dynamic and his location, it kind of isnt.

If you daw him everyday and were closer sure. But other posters have said some other concerning thoughts I didnt consider. I know it was harsh and I am sorry if it offended you but for many, many people, physical intimacy and romance just isnt enough. Maybe 20 years ago but now, thats tough.

>>17611033
>If I had the money I'd do it without a second thought
Don't assume that, you don't know that
Chances are your boyfriend respects money because he has to earn it don't ever assume you have a right over his money not even a quarter because that path will lead to a lonely life

>>17611229
She already said she does that, read the thread. >>17611145

He's just a cheap asshole.

>>17611215
As someone who lives in the suburbs I have to chime in here. I see couples like this all the time and they definitely love each other, but being stable is part of their initial attraction. Sorry to say but >>17611197 is right, that's why they live happy lives. It's not like they look at each other's bank accounts and just go "Oh, no way would I date you" they want that person to care about the quality of their life because it's something they also care about. If you can't invest time and money into yourself, how can you do it for a relationship? It shows that this person can be dedicated which is of course helpful if you're trying to start a serious relationship.

>>17611136
If you truly love him the best way you could possibly show it would be working extra hard just so you can see him
It means 1000 times more for you to work to see him because for you it means putting a lot of effort than to him to drop 100 out of his fat wallet
You said it yourself for him money is a commodity but the little free time he has he spends it on you

>>17611227
He's not putting money towards seeing me, I said IF HE DID it would only cost him $100 a month in train tickets for me to see him twice as often.

>but for many, many people, physical intimacy and romance just isnt enough. Maybe 20 years ago but now, thats tough.
It's enough for me, I'd stay with him if he lost it all and I'd hope he feels the same way.

>>17611241
>look mom I troll every day!

>>17611145
Because being used as an ATM hurts and the more money you have the more it hurts

>>17611243
Well damn, my apologies. Ok well on the flipside yes its a bit selfish but you sound like a real romantic. Its been a year OP, this sounds dodgy. Read over the other posts regarding location.

>>17611245
Go reblog about it on tumblr tell them I called you an ugly cunt with a freezer full of dead cats too so you get especial misogyny brownie points

>>17611033
>>17611202

Sorry to say this, but... regardless of what his thought process may or may not be, it sounds as if he simply doesn't care as much about this relationship as you do. It sounds like you already suspect this, yourself.

If you really LOVE him and you're expecting this to turn into something serious, I'm afraid you're just gonna get hurt here... everything you've said about his behavior/attitude suggests that he's treating this more like a casual fling. Long-distance relationships can be tricky like this

>>17611241
I'm already doing that, I work a full time job on minimum wage. I do this and every single time I go to see him, you don't think that's a bit unfair? You really think it's asking too much for me to expect my boyfriend to give me a little help so we can see each other more often?

I can't think of a single thing I'd prioritise spending money on that's more important than spending more time with him. I already put every spare dollar I have into seeing him.

>>17611250
You forgot to tip your fedora.

You are totally not unreasonable. You're asking him to share the costs, and it's unfair that he expects you to spend all the money you have to see him without making any effort.
I'd dump him for something like this, desu.

>>17611247
But I'd be using the money to come see him, that's literally it. Why would that hurt?

>>17611243
>t's enough for me, I'd stay with him if he lost it all and I'd hope he feels the same way
Don't assume that either
Seems to me like you live in a fantasy world inside your head were you went through 100 trials to prove your love but that only happened inside your head and not in reality
Struggle is called struggle because it's painful and hard if you really love him you put in the effort for him instead of just demanding shit because right now that's all you do

>>17611254
See OP this is why you have problems. You reply to the trolls, you reply to the assholes, while you ignore the people with the best intentions for you.

See, you go for the assholes and make yourself angry while you could just ignore them.

>>17611261
You forgot to clean your fat folds

>>17611254
When you go see him who pays for what

>>17611267
see
>>17611254

>>17611268
>Having 200 extra pounds still makes me beautiful everyone on tumblr I haven't blocked yet says so all 20 of them

>>17611276
We split the bill or take turns.

>>17611277
Consider this op, back in the day when people actually loved each other wives went out of their way to come visit her husbands at work just to bring them lunch and show how much they cared
In turn husband's broke their backs in soul destroying jobs out of affection
Contrary to popular belief give money to a rich person, money you worked hard to obtain instead of asking for money out of him and that rich person will love you

>>17611299
Did you not fucking read what I posted?

I spend every cent I have going to see him.

>>17611033

>should I resent my boyfriend for using sensible financial practices

To be honest if I was him, id resent you for being a moron.

It's his money, he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it

>>17611306
I'm spending all of my money to come see him, he spends none of his to come see me or have me see him more often. You don't think that's unfair?

>>17611287
Well just ask him to either come see you or split the bill for you to see him, not hard.

>>17611304
Welp you are clearly a bitter gold digging whore, lucky for your ex he is smart enough to see past your nice girl bullshit

>>17611321
Wait, so it's only you coming to his place, and he doesn't want to share that expense with you? If I was in ldr I'd set on 50-50 paying for all the tickets required to see each other.

Dude, this sounds pretty one-sided. Also like somebody else said, you don't really know whether he spends ALL his free time talking to you, or only a chunk of it.

>>17611033

OP, I think you have a very skewed perception of what "well off" means. Sure, compared to you, he's making a bunch of money. I bring in over $5k after taxes monthly, enough to put $2-2.5k in the bank, pay my bills, and then have a few extra hundred to $1,000 in spending money. I make about $75k/year.

If I had to guess, your boyfriend, seeming like the frugal type, probably makes $35-45k a year. Maybe a little more, I don't know his expenses.

But the point here is, in the long term, if he's trying to save up for a house or a car, an extra $200 a month in travel expenses just isn't very doable. He may love you to the moon and back, and be trying to save up enough for a life with you together. I admire his foresight for not burning whatever he has in hand right now.

Of course, all of the other posters could be right, that you're a side chick or something, but I think you'd know better.