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>In relationship with girl for about a year.
>She gets overwhelmed with anxiety and stress
>Says she doesn't know how she feels about me right now.
>I say that's fine. We will go our separate ways.
>Three weeks later she is absolutely hysterical saying she made a huge mistake and she is back on her anxiety medication (she does have anxiety issues and they have caused her to isolate herself in the past)
>During this time since we broke up I've been seeing another girl who seems like she has her life together and knows what she wants
>Relationship is still very early on, we haven't had a DTR talk or anything yet.
>Ex wants to get back together... yet I really want to explore things with this new girl.
>Afraid that this new girl won't really be what I expect and I'll end up missing my ex (I don't want to play games with her but at the same time I don't think it's fair to me to put me on this roller coaster).
I'm really not sure what to do. I want to be a good man here and do the right thing. But I'm feeling very selfish... I am not in a relationship with either of them so I don't feel like I'm doing anything morally wrong here... but it's getting to the point where I need to make a choice and I don't know what to do.
Any help?
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In addition. I'm afraid of getting back with my ex because she completely 180'd on me and I'm afraid of this happening again. I don't need that type of drama in my life. Nor do I appreciate the whole sentiment "she didn't know what she had until it was gone"... that seems like a terribly immature thing to let happen.
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Don't go back with your ex
Try new experiences
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bump for more advice
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>>17600363
>>17600361
you answered yourself OP. Take it from a guy who's gotten back with 3 exes. Each situation felt totally unique and this one was different.
1 day, 5 years, never get back with an ex.
Look ahead my friend, never look back. Besides you said it yourself she already did a 180 who's to say she wont again when her meds stop working (because literally SSRI's are what she's taking for anxiety, and they stop working at about the 1-2 year mark and the patient will relapse) So you could expect the same bullshit to happen in 1-2 years PLUS add on 1-2 years of inevitable baggage that comes with every relationship it would be even worse
Good luck making your decision, I vote new girl. She sounds nice.
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>>17600520
Thanks. I think I know what I have to do :/
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>>17600533
godspeed anon, best of luck. If it doesn't work out with new girl, try your best to refrain from going back to anxiety girl. It'll be tempting but I HIGHLY advise against it
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>>17600520
>>17600542
Listen to this guy OP, he gets it
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>>17600361
I don't think people truely ever "change" yes they can have realisations and yes it could well be the anxiety and so on but if you look at long term happy couples they are not chasing rainbows in the other person. They are happy with what they have in the present and don't let it go on a whim they fight to lift each other up.
I have been in a 14 year relationship 9 years married and 3 months ago I walked out. The underlying issue was that we were never sexually, emotionally or intellectually compatible (with a number of anxiety issues on her part) were ultimately just an excuse to blame her constant behaviour toward me.
I kept waiting for things to change / get better and or for her to step up to her promises to try work on the compromises to make the relationship work.
5 marriage counsellors later, I have realised I have been chasing a rainbow, she will never change I'm better off single and in search of a meaningful relationship than keeping myself in the trauma of wondering what the next right and "good man" thing to do is.
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>>17600520
stay friends with her tho. if it doesnt work out with the new girl you could try to make fwb from ex
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