I'm in community college right now taking general classes

>>17595523

>Implying that everyone who's living a life of mediocrity is lacking motivation/skill
Sometimes your best is just average. Does that scare you that much? Being like everyone else?

>"I now that I can do it if I work hard, but I need a non-vague concrete reason"
Unless you DID do it before, don't give me that "I know I can do it" line, because no you don't. You think you have what it takes just so you won't bum yourself out with feeling of worthlessness.

>Give me a reason to live life, /adv/
I swear I'm not trying to flame you, but this post really comes off as incredibly whiny to me, OP. If you need time to think do so - or at the very least let's discuss this feelings in details. How old are you? What classes are you taking? Have you any work experience? Have you any experience at all, in anything?

>>17595552
>1
Yes it does scare me. I want to have something that sets me apart in order to feel worthy of satisfaction.
>2
I get very good grades. All A's so far. My pitfalls are perfectionism and sustaining motivation. You are definitely at least partially right as I tend to drop classes that are too difficult, although I resent your pessimistic attitude. If I overcome my perfectionism and become okay with the occasional C, then I will have a better chance at success.
>3
I won't deny my whininess, as a person my primary concern is of my feelings. I'm 22. I've taken English, Soc, Psych, and College algebra. Dropped multiple specialized Bio classes after discussing my current level of knowledge with the instructors (I plan to ask my counselors to put me into introductory courses instead of trying to skip ahead). I've worked at a couple grocery stores, factories and restaurants. I have a pattern of working very hard, setting high expectations and then burning out emotionally thus letting everyone down. I'm becoming better at regulating myself and working at a realistic pace (knowing my limits)

Does this help?

>>17595523
WHAT do you want? You give vague examples, but as long as your desires and goals are so unthoughtful, your effort will be lacking.

Figure out what you want out of life. Then, figure out how to make it happen.

>>17595552

Also I see that I have frustrated you. I did not mean to be demanding of a solution. I just wanted to talk to someone about my struggles. I'm in search of insight, not a quick fix.

>>17595732
That is a good point. I have absolutely put the cart before the horse but I've never not done that.

I feel that I'm not equipped to know what I want. I only know once I get it. Maybe I already have it. I have more money than I need to live. I have a loving family and a small group of great friends. I don't need a college degree to find a lover. All this wanting could be an illusion.

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>>17595698
Yes, this helps.
>>17595736
No, you didn't frustrate me. Let's just say I'm used to another kind of /adv/ poster.

Overall, your problem seems to be lack of self-discipline and ambition.

The first is something you can only achieve with experience and lots of hard work - and being skilled actually works against you, because if you can pull off higher grades with sloppier studying schedules, no one will care as long as the end results are good. However this backfires in harder courses where discipline beats talent 9 times out of 10. You could try setting checklists and deadlines, I guess.

I don't think the latter is something you should worry about - you can check the "upper class" job stereotypes in your country and see if one piques your interest, or pick an upper class career and move into the place it is held in highest regard. Working solely for the money/social status is ok in my book, as long as you do a good job.

Just keep in mind that you don't have to decide your whole life right now and stick to the plan for the rest of it. Try taking things in shorter spans of time, such as in 5-years-gaps maximum. Money and experience are highly valuable resources and as long as you get those, any direction you take is relatively "unimportant".

>>17595766
>All this wanting could be an illusion.
Either you want something or you don't. Even if you want something you don't need, even if you want something for shitty reasons, or reasons that you yourself don't understand, doesn't mean that the desire isn't real. It seems like you don't want anything in particular because your desire is more important to you than actually getting the things you want. If you don't work on this, you may never be satisfied with anything, no matter how comfortable a life you lead.

>>17595823
What you say makes sense. I've left out an important factor because I didn't want to be judged prematurely and I'm a little embarrassed. I smoke a lot of weed during the summer and a little bit during the school year. I used to love it, and enjoy it. It made me feel fulfilled for the first few months but now it's just a shitty habit that misguidedly use to balance out bad feelings (artificially create happiness) without fixing the cause of said feelings.

I've seen the pattern time and time again, I build up my discipline, flow and knowledge in class. Gaining momentum I notice that I'm stressed to the point that my happiness becomes compromised so I pick up some weed. After all why not reward myself for making good progress? Every time it completely disrupts my day to day flow. I instantly unlearn my study habits, neglect my personal chores and become lethargic at work despite my many responsibilities. I've always managed to maintain my grades, which I used to interpret as a sign that my habits were fine but I didn't realize that it has been causing long term harm to my confidence and motivation. My stoner friends tell me that it's all in my head and the fact that I get by is proof but now I know that they're wrong. I'm honestly afraid to throw away my crutch. I feel reluctant to say to myself "I will quit weed." but what you said about self-discipline rings true to me and weed has been a absolute hindrance in developing it. Quitting is something that I absolutely must do.

In regards to your last two paragraphs, thanks for the reality check. I make the mistake of putting "good careers" on a pedestal and then shaming myself for not being on a trajectory towards them and also defining my whole life as an unchangeable monolith moving in a singular direction based on my behavior.

>>17595831
Okay good point. That was the lethargic pothead sloth inside me talking I suppose.

>>17595941
Relationships with "drugs" varies from person to person. Too many drugs will cause harm, too much weed will cause harm, too much food will cause harm. The keyword here is "too much" - abuse is never positive.

Stress valves are a must have regardless of your outlook on life. Weed works for some, alcohol works for some, sports work for some, jerking off works for some, videogames work for some, chess works for some, reading a book works for some - and pretty much anything can become an addiction, not only drugs (there's too many people out there way too much into drugs, alcohol, sports, masturbation, videogames, even fucking chess and books).

However, once you've spotted something, "a trigger" for laziness or general discomfort, you should address it in the way you feel more appropriate. It's not that weed is THE problem, but if it's YOUR problem - as in, regardless of all that could be said on the matter, it's an hindrance to YOU - feel free to quit. You don't owe explanations to anyone. Removing hindrances like these marks the difference between "getting by" and "being fulfilled". Be sure to "clean up" often.

As to what to pick when stress gets to you, feel free to experiment and again - you owe explanations to no one. You could be a 50yo male doing ballet. If you're a good worker, I don't care. If you're a good friend, I don't care. If you're a decent person, I don't care.

PSA moments aside, if you ever feel your hobby is socially frowned upon, just keep it to yourself and make sure to create a small circle of friends who shares your passion. Fighting prejudice is tiring - you just do what you want, keep to yourself, cultivate it with people who share your passion and move on with your life.