I always feel awkward with my daughter. I work a lot and I'm

>an attention starved validation seeking slut

I cant believe you used those words while talking about your own child. Jesus man you are cold

why do robots feel the need to shitpost in /adv/?

>>17587339
Why are we so commonly sensitized to reality? Are you so detached from the truth that children grow up to have sex and complexes?
I think children should learn more about reality at a younger age. So that they can grow into stronger adults.
Now, don't take this the wrong way, children should enjoy their childhoods.
Though, they shouldn't be treated in a manner that makes it seem like their world doesn't exist in the "adult" world.

I think OP is smart enough to understand the reality of human nature and how we grow to an extent.
As far as advice OP, you are thinking too much about the subject. There is a fine line between starving attention and spoiling.
Find a balance and ensure it helps you to raise your child so that she becomes independent and strong willed.
You also can't change your nature or how you like to show your affection.
Try being more thoughtful and sincere when you decide it's a good time to show affection, though.
Just remember the balance.
Too much affection and you can give her the wrong idea. >father complex and looks for guys like you to date.
Too little and she will seek attention elsewhere. >an attention starved validation seeking slut.

>>17587366
You don't even realize letting this asinine nugget of suspicion fester will drive her further away and make her the type of person you keep on having suspicions about.

>reality at a young age
Because you turned out so well and emotionally stable? How young are we talking? She doesn't even seem to be a young teen yet.

>>17587291
Why does it matter how old she is? Just hug her and be playful with her. You don't have to rub yourself all over her or something. If she actually loves you, she won't mind being hugged.

It sounds like you have some sort of issues with expression, in general. Learn to step out of your comfort zone for the sake of your child. You feel like an alien because you're kind of acting like one. It'll be awkward for you at first, but just ask her to come spend some time with you. Ask her what she wants to do, then do that with her.

>>17587376
Wait you aren't OP, your just a projecting /r9k/

>>17587339
He's also being a realist about it. I'd rather be aware of any of the possible outscomes for my daughter and do my best to guide her towards a better direction rather than be completely oblivious to the fact and then suddenly be surprised when my daughter shows up pregnant at 17.

Op just do your best to teach her to be confident of her actions and learn to love herself and appreciate who she is. That way she'd grow to be a strong confident woman ready to deal with the shitty world.

Other than that I can't really say much since I'm not even married or anything.

>>17587291
>I'd rather not let her turn into an attention starved validation seeking slut when she's older.

That's exactly what you're doing by ignoring her you dumbshit. Why did you bother having a child if you weren't prepared for this?

Ask her how her day was. Ask her what she learned in school. Have her to do chores with you. Have her go to the store with you. Take your wife and daughter to the park. When you're at the store with your daughter give her little random factoids about bread or soup. Damn man. It's your kid, relax.

>>17587339
This man is logical, sees the world for what it truly can be.

He's still trying though, you princess

>>17587339
>I don't want my son to become a drug dealing scumbag
Get real, nancy
>>17587352
I'm not a robot
>>17587366
Solid advice
>>17587376
She's turned 12 three weeks ago
>>17587378
>Why does it matter how old she is?
I dunno

I'm pretty cold with most folks except babies and young children
>Just hug her and be playful with her
Uh,sometimes she'll watch me practice karate, shout "ninja attack!" and tackle me

When she was like 5 or 6 she'd imitate me kicking

This is typically followed by being picked up, swung around, tossed, and turned upside down

Does that count?
>Ask her what she wants to do, then do that with her.
Yeah
>>17587383
>That's exactly what you're doing by ignoring her you dumbshit
True
>Why did you bother having a child if you weren't prepared for this?
Her mom wanted one

And I was like "cool"
>Damn man. It's your kid, relax.
I suppose

She's adopted much of my awkwardness but it's more subdued because her mom acts like a kid on a sugar rush with awesome social skills

I think that it would be beneficial to establish some sort of activity you do with your daughter solely. for me this was going to the movies with my dad, or going to dinner. it was easier because my family was divorced though.

granted, at 12 she's likely to be getting to an age where she'll want to break away or rebel a bit more, but there's still opportunity for you two to bond. You said she's pretty interested in your karate, you could try teaching her some moves maybe, or getting into classes together. Do you cook? You can cook with her, have her be your sous chef.

You shouldn't really have to dramatically change your life for your kids; especially at these ages where they're more cognizant and independent it could be beneficial to see them as a friend. "hey I'm doing this do you want to join? hey let me teach you this. hey let's go for a hike"

don't forget that you're her role model and she's got half of you inside of her.

>>17587339
You're an idiot

>>17587339
Idiot

>>17587291
My dad is a bit like you.
One thing you can do is compliment her in general. Make sure you say something nice to her at least once a day.
You can also pick an hobby you do just with her. I don't know how old i your daughter, but when I was a child, it was LEGO. We used to spend HOURS playing till I was 12 or so. When I got older we started cooking together. We always went hiking, and I helped him paint his miniatures.
When I moved out, we started travelling together.

12 is a bit of a shit age I guess.
maybe take her on a road trip to something she enjoys. that way you get to spend plenty of time to bond and if the ride turns shit at some point you still have the destination to maybe redeem that.

>>17587291
>What do fathers and daughters even do? She thinks amusement parks are "for babies" even though she was supposedly giggling like a lunatic when her grandma took her to one back in July.
Prolly trying to play grown up for you.

The only thing you need to do is spend time with her and put in the effort. You don't even have to be good at entertaining her, she just has to feel that you were there.
Make sure to tell her specifically that you love her and that you're proud of her, and do so often. I know it's not really an easy thing to do even if you feel that way, I'm horrible and expressing emotions to people, but a young kid needs that.

>>17587913
Cute
>>17587921
Well, we do always make stupid references to how weird Florida supposedly is. It's a morbid fascination.
>>17587939
Wouldn't be the first time.
>>17588384
I'm just grateful she's such a good girl.

Doesn't talk back, won't cop attitude, doesn't cry too much, and likes learning for its own sake.

My friend's kids are slowly becoming little shits at this point.

You sound like a sexist. You see her as a little girl, not your child as a full person. Just treat her like a person. Indulge in her interests and find common grounds. Kids are easy, just ask her what she wants to do with you. It's not that hard, stop being so self-centered.

>>17589103
> I'm just grateful she's such a good girl.
Then don't call her an attention starved validation seeking slut. It just sounds like she's too good for you and you don't deserve her.

>>17587291
>According to my wife my daughter thinks I dislike her, so she's become something of a tryhard in school because I usually smile and praise her when she does well. I'd rather not let her turn into an attention starved validation seeking slut when she's older.

Ouch. Don't just praise her for her achievements. Praise her more for the work she put in and for other things she's good at. Praise her just for being there with you. Tell her you feel grateful to have her. It's just so much healthier.

Also, you sound like scum.

>>17589176
Are you even able to read?
He said he isn't behaving well and giving her kid enough attention, and by doing so he is scared of turning her into an attention straved validation seeking slut.
He's not blaming his daughter for anything. He sounds like a decent father who wants to make up for not being as present as he thinks he should.
Shit. Calm down.

>>17589185
>He said he isn't behaving well and giving her kid enough attention
>by doing so he is scared of turning her into an attention straved validation seeking slut.
>He's not blaming his daughter for anything.
No. Just calling his 12 year old a slut because of something he's responsible for.

>He sounds like a decent father
>an attention starved validation seeking slut
>he sounds like a decent father
>a decent father

Just proving to you that I am literate.

Too many men are being praised for pretending to give a shit instead of being encouraged into actually doing shit.

>>17589207
He didn't say she is an attention starved blablabla.
He said he wants to avoid her to become an attention starved blablabla by changing his behaviour.
He recognised he's acting badly and wants to change it.
Is he a terrible father for this?

>>17589214
I know you think I can't read, but you're just repeating yourself so I'm going to write some words just so it looks like I responded meaningfully.

I had a pretty decent relationship when I was young. I think the thing that I remember most was that he shared his interests with me. I learned a lot about science and computers and we played video games. Whenever I had a School Thing like a sports game, fair, concert, etc., he was there. He teased me, but it was fun and lighthearted and never aimed at things girls are normally insecure about like their appearance.

I think that's all you have to do really. Just be there. Don't treat her like an idiot but don't be afraid to show affection to her. Tell her you love her when she leaves to go out with friends.

She's a girl, not an alien.

>>17589255
meant that I had a decent relationship with my dad

At 12 its a bit late, but not impossible. Like other anons said, i think getting a hobby you can both do is a good option (like tennis for example). Dont be afraid to show you like her and you're proud of her.
Btw, my father was a lot like you say you are right now and honestly, our relation right now is awkward.

>>17589176
>reading comprehension

>>17589219
You can't read m8

i guess your relationship are already awkward because you learned how your kid feels about you through your wife. anything you will do at this point would be super awkward, therefore don't expect if you spend couple days with your kid everything will be alright. it won't be. i bet your kid thinks of you as a person who's always around and doesn't know how to relate to you. what other anons said is useful stuff like picking up a hobby but once you start doing it you'd have to be consistent, you need to develop trust with your kid. because what it appears right now your kid doesn't trust you, doesn't how to relate you.

and if you fuck up at this stage of your kid's live, you fuck up the rest. especially because it is daughter an father relationship. she knows nothing about men. what she will learn about men is through her mum, it will be one sided perspective if you don't get on that train.

>>17587383
probably he thought he would have a son and all would be dandy

girls are never wanted

>>17587417
>>Why did you bother having a child if you weren't prepared for this?
>Her mom wanted one
>And I was like "cool"

tfw this isn't bait and there's an actual kid having to deal with these sacks of shit

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>>17589465
>written by: a son mommy never loved

>>17589469
I think people who get overly emotional are idiots

She wanted a child, I agreed

We have the money and time, so what?

>>17589477
are you implying that sons aren't statistically favored in almost all countries, breh?

>>17589482
Most people care more about their pets than you do about your daughter

>>17589486
Are you implying there are no countries where girls are favored? You're already edgelording about how girls are worthless instead of lesser which would make more sense

>>17589482
I feel sorry that your kid will probably inherit your low emotional intelligence and the confidence issues that come with being raised by an unemotional robot of a parent.

It's no wonder she thinks you dislike her if you won't show her emotion.

>>17589493
he plain doesn't care about her. he didn't really want a kid, he just wants this thing to be respectable and not an Evil Slut©. He doesn't see her as a person. This is literally r9k raising a child

>>17589492
When did I say girls are worthless? now you're projecting

I only said that girls are not wanted.

>>17587417
Get her into karate my dude

Turn her into a champion.

My dad and I used to work out together. He was a bodybuilder and whenever I was lost at the gym, he'd teach me how to use certain equipment. It was great. Too bad he's dead. Oh well.

>>17589492
I am curious which countries you speak of that favor girl children over boys (As in, 'when I have kids I want a..' not post partum when it's already done). When I was pregnant I wanted a boy, and I hope my next child will be a boy. Almost universally, a wife wants to provide their husband with a son, and it has always been this way.

>>17589502
Haha, my dad was a bodybuilder, too. He actually won some competition and had a big old trophy of a muscular dude flexing.

>>17589497
Means the same thing. Not wanted = no one wants them, they are never wanted. you're a dipshit, you'll never reproduce anyways

>>17589506
thanks for the anecdote, greasy neckbeard pretending to be a girl

>>17589511
>>17589517
the hambeast denial is strong

>>17589517
nice non-answer

So which country was it that favored girls, anyway?

>>17589509
Yeah? Did yours become an alcoholic or roidhead at some point?

The pressure is real in that field. Watched my dad crumble under it.

>>17589525
Japan :^)
Most families, healthy ones, don't see girls as "not wanted". Answers from Muhammed don't count

>>17587291
Do little building projects. Play a board game with her, or a video game.

find out what she likes to do. if she seemed to like the amusement park, take her anyway. or go to a movie she wants to see, or get ice cream, or bike riding, etc. if you feel too awkward, make it a family thing with the wife. just remember to include your daughter in conversations and ask about school and stuff

>>17587291
Treat her like a roommate and just talk to her. Always remember that you can know someone their whole life and not have a cluse who they are.

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>>17587339
kys my dude