G'day my beloved sick fucks. I come with a question. But

>>17583962
I cried. I cried like I haven't cried since I was a toddler, big heaving sobs and howls like a dying animal. She was calm. A few tears since she'd never seen that kind of emotion from me, but calm. And adamant that yes, she knew that I'd fix myself, and that I'd make somebody happy someday, but that she didn't want to be in that relationship anymore.

It's been nearly a month now. In that time I've gotten a job, gone back to the gym and started seeing a shrink for what turns out to be a pretty fucking serious problem.

So. I want her back. I'm happy to be patient, I don't care if she takes other lovers during that time, I simply don't care. But it's been nearly a month and after all that time and all that trying to convince myself that maybe she was right...I want her regardless.

So. If the problem with the relationship was you, does fixing your problems get you in with a shot?

You're not getting her back, and even if by some magic you did, nothing would change. You can do anything but make someone love you. Best thing for you to do is to forget about her - block all social media, hide/throw away the gifts/pictures.

Do new things and challenge yourself, every step deeper outside your comfort zone is a step away from the pain. I too was dumped after ~3 years and felt confused and lost at the start, this advice worked for me. It's been a month and I've met such a wonderful girl that I can't believe I am alive right now.

>>17584133

IDK man. I tend to believe that people can change. And, hell, the process of dealing with my issues entails getting over her.

What I'm saying is that, even if/once I'm over her, she's still a very good choice.

Out of curiosity- do you say I'll never get her back because exes never get back together or because what I did is unforgivable?

You write like such a huge, stupendous fag-lord

>>17584192
I cannot deny that

Addresses the people who are trying to help him as side fucks.

OP is a fag who needs his throat kicked in.

>>17584303
Well, this IS 4chan. We're all kinda sick fucks here.

>>17584311

No I am one of the few people who is normal in all aspects and I come here to help sad fucks like yourself from doing something stupid. But if I am going to be addressed in a certain manner then what is the point?

The other anon was right, you do type like a fag-lord.

>>17584315
Well, then I'm sorry to have wasted your time!

>>17583962
So you basically hugged and complimented a girl three years ago and this is why your girlfriend dumped you?

>she's an extrovert beginning to come out of her shell

What?

>>17584325
Nope. In that particular case it was more that I tried to keep it secret while accusing chris of telling the same girl things that I told her privately.

But yeah, also other reasons. I got weird and jealous when we went out clubbing/I was too mongoloided to dance with her/hated nightclubs in general. Also I paid her less attention than she needed, and didn't move in with her (though I did want to, I just have a massive peter pan complex)

>>17584326
Let me clarify. A very unfulfilled extrovert who was starting to get her shit together and wanted to go out more.

Or maybe she just figured that I wasn't really emotionally or attentionally equipped to give her the companionship she needed. IDK man people are hard to predict and even harder to second guess.

>>17584327
Sounds like you weren't a great fit.
Also - it's something meaningless that happened 3 years ago, who gives a shit.

If she was really extroverted and you're really introverted it won't work out well.

>>17584333
Yeah, that did cross my mind. The thing is that I'm in therapy now and trying to figure out what I actually don't like and what I just didn't like out of psych-out fuckery.

I don't know if we're a good fit or not. I probably won't get enough personal understanding and emotional clarity to figure that out for a long time yet. But I'd like to think that if we DO turn out to actually be pretty good for each other, that there are ways of giving things a (very tentative) second chance

You have no shot, listen you need to have some self respect and leave this girl.

Ya ya I know she was perfect and you will never a girl before (haven't heard that before) but you will. Everyone can if they put the effort.

Your ex over reacted and did you a favour.

Man, get your shit done and don't be such a fag. her friend is obviously an asshole, she also dumped you because of something that little, then it's more likely her fault. What do want to do now? Cry like a little kid? Then she exactly gets what she wants. It wasn't your mistake. There is nothing to give a fuck about.

>>17584190

Far from unforgivable, you at least wrote all the things you did wrong - that means you have the capacity to fix yourself. She would (any woman would if you acted like this with the lack of interest and attention) dump you one way or another, but she probably didn't want to do it straight up so this moment was just a scapegoat.

Now you must learn to grow from this situation, you will never be in a happy relationship if you don't work on yourself and push yourself to 110% each day, women appreciate the LITTLE things more than we men realize, we base our worth on great deeds but women have a lot more selective memory and actually remember these little things.

I would heavily advise against trying to get back together, there ARE girls more compatible with you out there, I can 100% guarantee this to you.

>>17583974
>does fixing your problems get you in with a shot?
yeah, give her a shot with your 9mm and the other bitch too.

>>17584339
God, she wasn't perfect! Nobody is.

Out of curiosity, would you categorically say that going back to an ex never works?

>>17584344

Well from my experience no.

I tried with two of me exes. What happens is the beginning is all about you apologizing and promising changes. She says she wants to take it slow and you agree. Things look good but then you start to feel you are guilty all the time. You can't say anything without her referring back to the incident. So you are in a cage you don't want to leave. Eventually I couldn't take it and called it quits because I hated walking on eggshells. Both times was a mistake and I regret wasting my time doing it. Also I noticed they were far my cold and bitchy then ever before and it felt like they were doing me a service for even giving me a shot. Like I should be honoured to be given a second shot....fuck that.

>>17584342
I'm gonna write that bit about the little things down somewhere.

I don't really know if we're compatible or not. I don't know how much of what I think of as me is actually an anxiety disorder talking. In any case that choice is a long way away, and I'll have plenty of time to evaluate.

>>17584347
That's a really valuable piece of perspective, thank you!

>>17584348
You know you can be compatible at the start and become incompatible later on, especially when youre 20something, people change rapidly during those years.

>>17584351
And I'm pretty sure that the opposite can happen too. Shit's...fluid.

>>17584352

Go to the doctor anon.

>>17584355
Heh. Side effect of the amphotericin. Tongue fuzz gots to GO, nomsayin?

You're a man. Raise your dick like one.
#freethedick

>>17584352
No, the number of people that are incompatible at the start of a relationship is insanely low, and even then it doesn't last more than a week.

This girl wasted 3 years of her life on an unfulfilling relationship and a prick of a boyfriend. No matter how much you change, she'll never get those 3 years back. If she'd get back together with you, she'll always wait for you to get back to the 'old you', so she won't. This is a case of 'you don't know what you got till its gone' from your side. Face it, she's better off without you. Take the high road and work on yourself for you and move one.

You cling to the idea of your ex because it's something you are familiar with and she was ggood for you, but even if you were to get back together it would never be the same again, there would be mistrust on both sides. Best to start fresh as a better human being with a new girl who did not know the loser you used to be.

I know it sounds harsh, but it's just what it is. Let this situation be a lesson for you and a reason to improve you life.

>>17584363
I can see that. I guess I mean more that, since who we are is not set, there's no telling if or when we'll be right for each other again so best not worry about it- what happens happens.

>>17584368
Well I'd certainly agree with that first paragraph.

In fact I see what you're saying in general. Perhaps I'm only refusing to really accept it out of emotional attachment.

I'm not convinced that I shouldn't take a shot if one emerges, but you might be right in that it could turn out to be an unfulfilling mess.

>>17584192
This. I skimmed a few lines and cringed too hard to actually read. 8th grade creative writing.

>>17584315
>considers himself normal
>gets worked up over a lack of respect on the Internet

I guess you're confusing normal with old, papi

>>17583962
most relationships that end in jealousy never really end unless they find different terms