My EX's mom just died... We're on friendly terms, but

Maybe just send him a short text.

>>17582261

Send him a small text, email or message, keep it formal and fairly distance;

"Heard about what happened, and for what it's worth, I'm so sorry. If you or your family need anything, please let me know."

If he replies, you can then use that as an invitation to ask him how he is doing, and get closer to help him.

Also, this is a little bit manipulative, but it's entirely dependant on him replying to you.

>>17582278
This. I concur, this looks like you're taking advantage of this painful episode to get closer ~ which is NOT a bad thing per se if we consider you've stated you still have feelings for him. Just consider if your presence could cause him relief or more pain. That doesn't mean you can't offer the help of a friend.

Just sayin.

I feel so terrible. I feel like the one time I should have been there for him I wasn't. He's across the country.
>>17582309
I mean I do still have feelings, but they're complicated and I don't remember really stating that I still had feels... But either way, my MO isn't to really move in, it's just to be of help. Good god he's such a gentle guy, I can't imagine how he's handling it.

Suck his dick you sloot

>>17582366
I'm a guy btw. and he's the one who likes sucking..

>>17582348
Yes you DID state you had them feels. It's kinda cute.

Call him and offer support.

Do it, faggot.

Would it be bad to write him a lengthy letter?

My fear is that if I do too much, it will sort of associate myself with this painful experience, like I'm too much of a sudden character during all of this. I know people need space when this stuff happens, but how much is too much space, etc?

I sent him a benign text and he told me after a small back and forth. I'm shocked.

Be genuine and there will be no problem. If there is no hidden intention then there is no hidden intention, and that's that.

Do you think it best to even contact him? Like the other anons said, just send a message saying you're sorry, but do it without any sort of underlying intention. You're still thinking things through about how you feel, and that is the most important thing to consider before opening your mouth.