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Ok /adv/, it's finally happened.
For years I knew that the way I was living my life was going to lead to problems down the road. No friends to speak of, no sexual partners. I also have a worldview that is about as nihilistic as it gets. I'm a naturally anxious person and prone to bouts of moodiness. But generally, thanks to a very supportive family and a good childhood, I managed to stave off the terror for the 27 years I've been alive. But it's not working anymore.
I'm scared. There's nothing I really want from life anymore. I'm not quite suicidal, but I do wake up each morning wishing that I hadn't. My world just seems empty now, it's like all the meaning I used to attatch to things has just disappeared and life is just a video playing out in front of me. Remember that feeling you had on Christmas the year after you found out Santa doesn't exist? Multiply that by 10000 and apply it to everything in life. I'm plagued by a deep existential fear that I can't get away from, the only escape is sleep. I have a good job but I don't care for it, it adds nothing to my life and I hate my colleagues. I'm so envious of religious people, I understand it's purpose now more than ever. I wish I could have something like that in my life but at this point I don't think it'd be possible to delude myself.
Help.
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You sound just like my closest friend, only he doesn't have a job and he's slightly older.
The only person who can help you, is input cliche thing to say. My best advice is to get into occult magick and yoga and shit.
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>>17577831
being truly intelligent leads to true sadness.
but only believing you are intelligent only leads to believing you are sad.
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Read Camus.
Start with The Stranger.
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>>17577889
I don't think I'm particularly intelligent, just brutally honest with myself.
But there is something in what you're saying, about "believing you are sad". There are times in the past where I thought "Wow, my life is shit, this must be depression". I certainly had reason to be sad.
With the way I feel now though, it's obvious that I hadn't the slightest idea what depression was back then. At least I still had some goals in life, which is the most important thing. I've always been a staunch atheist but I guess that deep down I used to think there was something more to the world.
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>>17577898
lolmao no, dude. Just watch Leo Gura's bideos on youtube ;)
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>>17577902
find yourself you enjoy doing that has a cyclical nature. the jobs people hate the least tend to be ones where there are new projects as opposed to same exact thing every day.
for instance, working as programmer is often fulfilling becuase you work on DIFFERENT programs. you are constantly escalating and learning and reaching a 'next level'.
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>>17577902
again, look into any occult system and see if it turns you on
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>>17577889
>being truly intelligent leads to true sadness.
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>>17577911
I don't get this meme. I don't browse /lit/ much these days.
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>>17577915
if you take the first statement seriously then you missed the point of the entire post.
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>>17577919
how did you expect me to read on after this starting sentence. also i don't get what you're saying. i guess i'm not smart enough lol
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>>17577916
what meme? I'm giving him more practical advice than yours.
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>>17577934
>reading books is unpractical
Kill yourself you fucking meme-person.
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>>17577931
don't insult stupid people, you're just ignorant.
>i dont get what you're saying
people are told this. people want to be smart. so they believe they arent happy.
its like saying only gay guys like Divas. its not remotely true, but you'll be hard pressed to get any straight guy to admit it or even believe it.
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>>17577936
no no no, that's what you got out of my post but not what i'm saying. i'm tailoring my advice to the OP
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>>17577913
>for instance, working as programmer is often fulfilling becuase you work on DIFFERENT programs. you are constantly escalating and learning and reaching a 'next level'.
OP here, this is kind of ironic because I actually am a programmer. With that said, our team only works on a single product and will continue to do so for the next 3 years at least.
Honestly I've thought hard about switching careers but feel it might be too late at this point. In particular I've thought of switching to a job with a commission structure, because at least then I'd feel like there was a purpose to work harder.
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>>17577939
It's like you're saying you both believe it and don't. Okay you've got me - I'm both stupid AND ignorant. Explain please.
>people are told this. people want to be smart. so they believe they arent happy.
okay, i get this, but then
> its not remotely true
okay, but then posting that picture confuses me - what exactly do you mean to say?
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>>17577942
i wish i could relate, but i set up my life based around things i want to do, and there is that escalation. i think it helps that ive always just sort of known what i wanted to do, even if its just a spare time thing, and my job helps subsidize that.
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>>17577942
Did you check out Leo like I told you, fakkot?
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You have been living for purely hedonistic intents and I say that broadly. People associate hedonism with drugs and sex but more routine pursuits (eating, sleep, hobbies) suffice. In time even these activities lose their appeal, because they provide no meaning, and you are left with nothing but emptiness.
Simply because you (in your infinite wisdom) have decided this world is meaningless, does not make it so, and in fact, it is of immense importance. You have been allotted limited time to make things right, time which you may choose to squander or not. Read the sermon on the mount and the parable of tares to know where to go from here.
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>>17577831
Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh-3FJs2pz8
Thread posts: 23
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