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I am incapable of feeling empathy and it's killing me inside,

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I overcome all my issues (mostly) and I found most of the answers. But my condition has not improved. I now know wtf is wrong with me. I now know why i always wondered how people fake being nice to each other - i have no fucking empathy.

I am talented, athletic, I work real hard. But I am always alone, even when I am talking to someone I feel alone because I have zero idea of their emotions or feelings.
I spent an entire semester with a girl who was head over heels with me but I could not develop a connection at all.

I had a really fucked up past where i was tortured, scared, intimidated and during my bouts of hiding in a bathroom and crying i honestly think i went nuts / lost my empathy machinery.

I am slowly starting to get accustomed to people at work, and at college. But I just don't feel anything at all towards them. I am constantly in stress because idk if I offended them, sometimes i forget to say thank you or when they tell me a story I forget to give a shit. I spend my entire day faking something i am not. Faking to be interested, faking to be a friendly guy, just so i can be loved. But what the fuck is the point of love when I can't feel it as it comes my way, I can't even sense love so I never get love.

I feel greed, feel the will to dominate others, feel the will to compete, but I don't feel love. I recently realized that I've been doing cruel shit to alot of people without realizing it and made my heart sink =/.
People do like me though because i have a strong code and i never try to be unpleasant to someone else. Do I have hope? i don't see any hope. I am straight too so the whole woman thing and me being single at 28 is killing me.

Now i just feel anxiety in every breath. I feel regret and stupid. My whole life is a fucking job as if I am walking upwards with not a single moment of fun, pleasure or feeling of being alive.
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find a shrink, you're sociopathic
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>>17577805
Hey Op, don't get so down on yourself. The difference between you and other people is that you are intelligent enough to understand that you are faking it. This self knowledge comes at the cost of empathy due to the fact you know you are different. For example, you worrying about not saying thank you implies you wouldn't give a shit if someone said thank you or not.

Its only natural you would have anxiety as you are attempting to understand a perspective that just isn't comprehensible to you. That is perfectly normal, however you will probably need to come to terms with this fact if you want to face your anxiety. To this end I would recommend cognitive behavioral therapy.

If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way about emotions as you and we are definitely not alone. I cannot recommend a solution to this end but it seems to be really eating away at you and manipulating your world view. The best advice I can give is to stop worrying about love, just consider it an ineffability for now and instead focus on becoming the person you want to be.

The end of your post is indicative of an existential crisis of which the solution depends on the individual. You can try reading philosophy on the subject, religions, or simply distract the thoughts away.

In any case, take solace in the fact that you are intelligent enough to realize your flaws and have the opportunity to fix them.
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Empathy isn't a feeling. It's simply being able to understand or intuit the feelings of others. Autistic people usually struggle with this.
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>>17577805
Having realised your situation, the only thing you can improve is this:

>I am constantly in stress because idk if I offended them

i.e. How your words/actions will impact the people with which you interact with.

I am pretty much like you, and only recently I started developing that skill, but still I haven't gone that far, and nor will I ever go. It pretty much hit the wall. At least you will be able to avoid fucking up in some cases.

Still, I don't think we will ever be able to "adapt" fully.
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>>17577856
>The difference between you and other people is that you are intelligent enough to understand that you are faking it.
>implying everyone is faking it too
No. Get treatment you psychopathic freak.

>>17577805
You too OP.
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