Will being platonic for a bit with a girl you like always get

>>17567650

I've always preferred to be friends with a guy first before starting to date. I don't do flings and it's easier to know if someone might be worth dating if you know them properly first.

>>17567650

First of all, grow a pair and stop repeating half-baked philosophy from Reddit.

If you were forgotten because you were slow, then speed that shit up and try again. If you prefer to take it slow, then go for girls that seem to want that, and don't bitch if some of them get bored.

It's not that difficult to make a choice here.

>>17567650
This honestly depends on the people involved more than anything else.

If you have two people who are very attracted to each other, and aren't afraid to show it, there's no reason for them to wait.

If one or both people has hangups about past heartache however, it might make sense in their own minds to wait. They don't want to get burned again. And that's OK.


Some people take a while, some people start hooking up right away. Neither is necessarily "wrong".

The whole concept of women getting bored isn't completely unfounded, but really the takeaway is for your own personal benefit. For the sake of improving your game, move faster with ladies you're attracted to. Get used to opening up and being vulnerable, so that you aren't the one getting in the way of intimacy with other women.

>>17567650
Rule of thumb is to be straightforward if you like a girl. Always.

The longer you wait to ask out a girl, her attraction will just die off and she'll assume you lack confidence or you're not single/not interested

>will being a bit platonic always get you friendzoned
Why would you want to be platonic if you like a girl in the first place? The question makes no sense.

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>>17567650
Here's the deal OP.

Only YOU can put yourself in the "friendzone." If you like a girl in a romantic sense, YOU are the one deluding yourself and her by going through the motions of a platonic friendship. You're communicating that you want to be friends and that's the message anyone's going to receive. Own your honest intentions and make them clear from the get-go. That doesn't mean you shouldn't still aim for being genuine friends with this girl WITHIN the romantic relationship if one develops, but you have to know (and she has to know) that you're pursuing her as a girlfriend. If she doesn't share that interest, that's fine. Totally understandable and within her rights. If she still likes you as person and thinks she'd like to be friends, also well within her right. But it is within YOUR rights to politely reject that offer of friendship if you know that's not really what you want. "I appreciate that and believe me there are no hard feelings here, but that's not really what I'm looking for. I've got more than enough friends already." If you know you liked her and wanted more, no need to torture yourself with a relationship that is a consolation prize or be pissed off when she starts dating someone she really is into. Part ways amicably. Trust me, she'll respect you more and you will respect yourself more.

It's not about jumping a woman's bones within 5 minutes of meeting her; it's about erasing the COMPLETELY misguided notion that "if she likes me as a person, she'll like me as a romantic/sexual partner and the best way to get her to like me as a person is to be friendly towards her." No. You're interested in dating her? Tell her you're interested and ask her out. You want to bone her? Stop beating around the bush and let it be known that you think she's hot and you'd be about hooking up (this is usually better done via action that words btw).

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>>17567891
[CAPS LOCK]

>>17567891
I wish someone had told me this in high school.

WHY DIDN'T MY DAD TEACH ME ANYTHING??!!

>>17567891
Probably one of the best response in /adv/ ever

>>17567663
this

husband and I were friends for something like 8 years before we got serious

>>17567985
Did you date a lot otherwise before getting serious with him?

>>17567999
I had a few relationships before him, yeah. but during the time we were just friends I wasn't dating very much. was trying to, but my shitty personality kept getting in the way. eventually gave up on guys for several years to try and get my shit together. he did date someone else during that time and was actually engaged to her at one point, but it didn't work out.

in retrospect, it was a good thing that we didn't get serious til we were older. I think we'd have made a terrible mess of things if we'd tried it in our 20s. by the time we got around to falling in love, we'd already seen each other at our worst.

If you want to be friends with a girl, then that is a good way to do it.

If you want to have sex / a relationship with a girl, you should do your best to make your intentions clear as soon as the two of you are on comfortable footing. Note: this doesn't mean pussyfoot around it for a year. I'm talking about a week or two of actually talking to her.

If you are going to behave like a girl's best friend, then that's exactly what you're going to be. Sometimes that evolves into something bigger, but there would have to be mutual attraction in the first place.