Hey, I've been seeing this girl- we get along and all, she's

My boyfriend was a virgin before hw met me. He says he loves being with an experienced woman.

>>17560295
How many exes are we talking? How old are you?

>>17560295
Well, you probably don't have to wait years and years for her to start being at least OK in bed... savour your luck OP

I'm not afraid that she'll cheat on me, being in relationship is a trust thing, but I feel like I'm taking the easy way out. It was more like she was into me than I was into her.

>>17560295
>but she's had more exes than I did. And that's a lot.
*your* problem with that is what?
why would you guys even discuss this in the first place?

>>17560300
haha, he is a beta and can´t get anything better
and you are simply a whore

>>17560358
>why would you guys even discuss this in the first place?
Because relationships are important experiences that help define you as a person. Why wouldn't someone talk about them? Shame? Shame is a bad motivation for keeping information from your partner.

>>17560440
It is not always important.
A long term relationship shapes you as a person, that dude you dated in highschool doesn't.
Sharing information with your partner often creates jealousy and trouble, and your partner won't benefit from it.

>>17560444
Better to lie and keep them happy then tell the truth and let them know who you really are, right?

>>17560300
Do you love being with him, and agree you willing to work on the relationship to stay good? That's the better question.

>>17560447
I didn't say that you should lie.
I said that it is a pointless conversation to have - I didn't ask my boyfriend how many people he had sex with, he never asked me how many guys I had sex with. I never listed all the guys I dated, and never expected him to do the same. We just never talked about it.
In general, talking in detail about all past relationships or flings doesn't bring anything to the relationship, and might cause jealousy, or make your partner feel uncomfortable, or cause arguments.
No one likes thinking about their partner in bed with someone else.
We both know about long term relationships, because we think it's valuable to know why they failed and what was working well with them to improve our relationship.
Other than that, we generally avoid the discussion.

>>17560471
>selective honesty
Casual relationships show a lot about yourself too
You are avoiding it

>>17560494
>Casual relationships show a lot about yourself too
I never had casual relationships. I dated around, but I got into one relationship and had sex just with my long term boyfriend.
I told him I dislike casual sex. He feels the same. This was all that mattered to me.
Details about our sexual history are irrelevant, even if I had just two partners and I'm not particularly ashamed of it.

>You are avoiding it
Of course I am. I am avoiding a pointless discussion which would make us feel bad, yes and wouldn't bring anything to our relationship, yes.
I didn't tell him that he makes less money than my ex, or that my best friend thinks that he's uglier than me. Or that my mom, at first, thought that he was a moron. I didn't even compare his skills in bed with my ex's skills.
But I should tell him all those things, because who cares about hurting his feelings, you gotta be completely honest.

>>17560440
Sure, but that particular question can only do harm, no good.

Chances are good, one has more partners than the other.
How does that influence the relationship?

Isn't it more important, how the partner is behaving in a relationship than how many relationships there were in the past?

>>17560531
>asking how many exes is the same as all those things

>>17560562
It is. It would just hurt me to think of him having sex with other people, and it's not something we can change or that would improve our relationship in any way.

>>17560576
>it would hurt me
Now that's something you need to work on

>>17560612
Why would I?
We can simply avoid talking about it explicitly.
It's fine that he has, I know that he has, I don't want to imagine him fucking some other girl.
I doubt someone who isn't a cuck enjoys thinking about that either.

>>17560631
Because you go from a number to imagining something and being hurt from your imagination
Who the fuck does that?

>>17560661
A lot of people? Like, a lot of people on this very fucking board feel insecure about their partner's body count.

It's an unpleasant thought and it makes me feel insecure, gross and jealous - I would wonder if I am not the hottest, or if his ex girlfriend in high school fucked him better, or I would feel grossed out thinking that the same cock I am sucking has been in someone else's butt, and it's just a spiral of insecurities and jealousy that I don't want to deal with.

I do not know, or think of it, or give a shit.
It's not something that can be changed or something I want to ruin our relationship with.

>>17560685

Thoughts like that require consulting. Dead serious.

It can ruin relationship.

>>17560685
So you stick your head in the sand before the storm?
People aren't asking for bodycount because it's irrelevant. It's important part of someone's personality.

>>17560692
... are you stupid? I don't have those thoughts.
The whole point of my post is that I don't want to talk about it to not know details about his past sexual history and give myself a reason to have those thoughts, so I do not ruin the relationship.

>>17560703

>mental gymnastics

Whatever you say guy.

>>17560700
>So you stick your head in the sand before the storm?
I know he had sex before me. I'm not ignoring anything. I just don't want to know details about it, and start imagining things.

>People aren't asking for bodycount because it's irrelevant. It's important part of someone's personality.
It isn't even a part of someone's personality. He never had casual sex, I know he has certain moral values. If he had two girlfriends in high school and one in college, or if he dated three girls in high school and two in college doesn't really change who he is.

>>17560724
You are right about that if he only had that many, but you don't know if he had those moral values or just faking it.

>>17560714
Call it as you want. I'm pretty happy with my life as it is.

>>17560742
If he was faking his morals, he would easily lie about his bodycount.
I really can't think about one valid reason why I should want to know that shit.