Hi there, I'm looking for some advice. I'm 23, about

Make friends with other moms so you can hear from them what they do to deal with this. And/or just hire a babysitter for a few hours so you can go hang out with your possible new mom friends. Also, you've got family, why not go on a vacation in which you dump the kid on them and run around doing whatever you want for a week? You only feel chained down because you're bored and lonely having nobody to interact with but drooling crotchspawn and an exhausted bf, it's a normal part of parenting and it'll get easier when the kid is older, but for now you gotta network around and figure out how to cope.

Why the fuck are you asking 4chan about how to balance a social life, a good relationship, and successful parenthood?

>>17555767
If you can live with your family and get yourself a job, why can't you ask them help you with the child so you can get yourself a job, even if it's a part time in the evenings after they get off.

If your husband works closing shift, that should mean he's available in the mornings. You can use this time similarly if your family is not available or close to look for a part time morning job. You could also see if you're eligible for some tuition assistance and take a class or two in the mornings or evenings so that you are making some advancements in your life, even if only baby steps, and don't feel like you're stagnating.

Leaving your relationship is unfair and selfish, and will lead to nothing but years of hurt, pain, and anger between you and your spouse. Whether it was a mistake or a decision, you two made the child together, and running away from your other or your child is nothing short of childish itself. No matter what you do from this point forward now that you've brought your child into the world, you will never be "starting over", only stepping backward. You have ways with work and compromise to bring yourself up and move forward as well, again even with those baby steps, and that's where your focus should be, on making that work first before you look at bailout options as your decision.

Having children out of wedlock is degenerate. You crave commitment and knowing the outcome of your new child. Get married to this bro and focus on the outcome of your child's life.
You're not you anymore once you have kidnon, you're now kidnon' mom.

File: image.jpg (2MB, 3264x2448px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 3264x2448px

Also,
What kind of person, let alone a mother, are you to push out a father figure just because you don't feel secure? This is why cohabitation and especially child birth without rituals like marriage never work. You people never feel like you're setting everything there is on the line so you go into it thinking, "it'll be easy to jump ship if I have to." Or "now we can pay the bills easier, I can love him easier, and see if we work out"

People that wait to cohabitate after marriage last prodominately longer than people that don't. Let this millinial meme die please.

>>17555767
If you leave your husband to get what you want for yourself, you will be sending a message to your son that it's okay to abandon family and close loved ones for personal reasons. Maybe you think your son is too young to figure it out, but it's a decision that will leave a big imprint on his life, at least partly on an unconscious level. You have to decide if you're okay with setting that precedent for him. I'm gonna warn you it'll leave him a lot less likely to be there for you when you're sick and old.

>>17555767
>I love my son dearly but I need me time too.
Maybe you shouldn't have had a fucking kid then. You are a god damn parent, it is your fucking duty to raise that kid right, and not being there is going to give him some fucking issues. It's not that kid's fault that you popped out a kid before you were ready. You ended your youth early, that's not his fault. Deal with it. Go off and you're basically just setting that kid up for failure.

>>17555829
This.
Being a child of divorce, and seeing a once thriving parenthood and marriage crumble destroys any child's outlook on future relationships.
If it isn't working, you make it work.
This guy sounds like a catch and obviously cares for you and the child.
Don't be selfish and fuck up others' lives

Start doing heroin

>>17555840
This means she should kill herself with that new strain going around right?
That'll work :^)

Kind of the same way I'd tell a highschool student to just wait out those few years before they turn 18 and graduate and can move out from their parents, I think you should take some reassurance from the fact that eventually in a few relatively short years, you will be able to send your son to public school, and then you'll have the whole schoolday 5 days a week 10 months a year to yourself. It's hard, but for some people there are some stages in life you just gotta tough out a few years. This problem you're having is temporary- it will not last forever.

No no no, you guys have it wrong. Op has to get super passive aggressive and petty until she drives her man off. Then she gets to point at him and say "go on leave, like your father" The American Dream

>>17555767

You're a stupid selfish probably cheating cunt who wants to abandon her son and prance around to try out new cocks and find a guy with more money. I wish you never had a kid. You don't love your son you are a shit mother and my mom who is dead now was exactly the same as you. I hope you die fucking CUNT

>>17555856
FUCK YOU NO

my fucking life

File: projecting.jpg (13KB, 400x224px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 400x224px

>>17555858

>>17555865

I don't give a shit fuck you

If he isn't willing to talk and try to make things better, then, honestly, breaking things off might be the best. I assume reading this you would be taking the kid with you, I wouldn't do this if you are straight up abandoning you're family, then your kid will grow up to hate you, bf would also feel the same. If this isn't the case though, if he isn't willing to try and talk or help make the situation better, it might be time to move on.

>>17555865
He's not projecting. OP is objectively a bad person and a horrible mother. It's okay though because she'll fuck up her own life and the lives of all around her, it'll all bite her in the ass eventually.

>>17555882
Yeah I'm sure the kid won't miss his wonderful father at all.
Go and be your #yolo self OP.

>>17555868
Why don't you go start your own thread for your issue instead of trying to make OP's thing all about you? I'm not saying she's right or you're wrong, just that you violently venting your own baggage at her probably isn't helping either of you. Yelling at OP isn't a substitute for what you really want to say to your own mom.

>>17555884
OP might be a bad person and everything you say right about her, but that anon is still projecting super hard.

>>17555894

Why don't you fuck off?

>>17555894
Not him but, why are you calling someone out for calling out OP for being a shitty parent? This is the advice she asked for after all. He's trying to prevent her from ripping a family apart and ruining some innocent kid's life. It's not that kid's fault that OP had a kid before she was ready. It's OP's fault and OP needs to see that and own up to it and do what needs to be done - be a good parent first, put her child's needs ahead of her own needs. OP goes "muh meeee time"... well why the fuck did you have a kid then when you wanted "meeee time"??? Did you not expect this? Did you expect to have everything be the same and not have this life that is entirely -your- responsibility? You're responsible for bringing that life into existence, and you're responsible for not fucking it up. A good parent would immediately put their child's needs ahead of their own. OP is wanting to put their needs ahead of their child's needs. That by default makes them a shitty parent, unless they make the right decision.

>>17555912
I don't disagree that OP is being a shit parent. But I still really wanted to point out that anon's response was defensive, reactionary, emotionally charged, and more about himself than an honest critique of OP. It's hard to take seriously. It's important to note that when you see someone post about a person or situation that is similar to something in your own life, that it is NOT the same as your personal association. OP is not anon's mom, even if she sounds similar in some ways. There could be important differences in the two situations that we aren't aware of. Maybe OP will actually be a decent enough person to actually take our advice whereas anon's mom wouldn't have. It's not fair to condemn her for something somebody else did or treat her like she is the same person as some other shitty person you know, even if she admits to having had some similar thoughts or motivations. It's also unhealthy for anon to go flinging his shit onto other people instead of facing it himself. Him sharing his experiences to give a point of view is really useful, but not so much in the way he went about it, which can just be dismissed as an irrational attack.

File: 1468946976332.jpg (53KB, 354x367px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 354x367px

>>17555783
>Why the fuck are you asking 4chan about how to balance a social life, a good relationship, and successful parenthood?

>>17555946
I think it's fair to condemn her for the possibilities that could unfold from her breaking it off from her husband just so she can have some "meee time" and all that.

Do you think a good parent would even risk making their kid become like that guy? No. That's why his response is perfectly valid. His case is one of the possibilities, and let's be honest here, the other possibilities really aren't good either.

If one were a good parent would they want your kid to be posting what that guy said in 20 years, and feeling what he feels? Would one even want to chance it? No.

>>17556040
>>17555946
One other thing: why does OP deserve any sort of good treatment? She literally wants to rip her child's family apart, because she wants some "me time" and jumped into parenthood before she was ready.

That kind of person is exactly the type of person you treat harshly and condemn.