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My boyfriend and I are in a LDR and I wanted to talk to him today about plans for him to visit soon. I wanted to discuss it over Skype, because I wanted to see/hear him and I wanted his undivided attention (he multitasks whenever we're not in Skype) and he said no, because he didn't want to give me his undivided attention.
I tried to talk to him about how it's important to me to have his full attention once a day or so and how it's transparently obvious when he's not giving it to me, how it makes me feel shitty, unappreciated, like he's not listening to me, and like I'm second to whatever else he's paying attention to. He repeated he doesn't want it and didn't say anything further. I said he was being unreasonable by not letting us open up a dialog about it and he ignored me. I asked him to stop ignoring me and running away and he said "you're not gonna see my side of it though, you're just gonna keep forcing what you want on me and not accepting what I want". He kept trying to tell me that's what my motives were even though I repeatedly tried to tell him it was to resolve things and reach a compromise, and kept being extremely antagonistic and turning everything I said back at me.
We've had this problem for a while with how we communicate and he acknowledges that he does it when he's calm but says that he can't see it during or figure out how to change. I've been with him for a very long time and I love him very much. I want us to work through this but I don't know what I can do to improve that, and I don't know what I can say to him to make him feel like we're on the same team so we can resolve any problem we have again like we used to.
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Sounds like he has found someone else. Probably trying to push you away so he doesn't feel guilty about it.
LDR relationships never last.. without a physical side to the relationship it is very easy to forget feelings / stop caring about the other person.
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>>17554952
>Sounds like he has found someone else.
I can assure you that is not the case.
>LDR relationships never last
We've been together two years, and in total we've dated on and off and loved one another for eight.
I agree with the rest of what you said, which is part of why I want to Skype so much. It's the next best thing to being in person. Its hard because there's a lot of very obvious miscommunications when we start arguing but he denies they're there and he won't go into Skype or voice so we can rectify them - and gets even more against it in the midst of an argument. But in Skype we're much better able to resolve things even though it's gotten worse than it has been in the past.
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If you have been together for so long, why don't you live together yet?
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>>17554988
Getting married in the midst of a huge problem that's been getting worse probably isn't the best idea. And immigration isn't as simple as marrying in a lot of countries. In his, for instance, he has to be making a certain salary for me to be allowed to move there. He doesn't meet that.
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