Does the female sex drive really do the thing where it disappears

>>17553287
Unfortunately it does but it depends a lot on circumstances. Boredom and routine such as work and family duties suppress women's sex drive far more than men's.

>>17553303
>routine
>family duties

So... What am I supposed to do? Quit my job, abandon my family and get a sugar daddy?

In my experience it does. It fluctuates according to a whole number of influences - how confident I feel and how good I feel about my body, whether I get attention, whether there's a possibility of having sex with someone who's a good lover, how stressed and (un)healthy I am, hormones and so on.

Kickstarting seems a bit ambitious, but I find that if I actively put my mind to fantasizing more and making more sexual observations throughout the day, my sex drive increases. Same for masturbating more.

File: sex-drive-versus-busyness.jpg (27KB, 520x366px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 520x366px

Hell if we know. Understanding women is a lifelong task we will all miserably fail anyway

>>17553364
Ok... So what do I do?

The thoughts I have about sex are usually just stressful and compulsive.

>>17553377
I don't think there's a universal answer, but absolutely stop with hormonal birth control if you're taking that. This is a notorious female libido killer.

>>17553384
I'm not on any kind of birth control, and I didn't have any sexual urges even before I started my antidepressants.

>>17553402
Have you never, or barely, had them at all? If so I think you just have no or a very low sex drive in general...

>>17553377
>The thoughts I have about sex are usually just stressful and compulsive.
That's usually just called sexual frustration, ie those urges get stressful and compulsive when they're not fulfilled or released in healthy ways.

Guys have all kinds of accepted sexual outlets, take a lesson from the male way of dealing with it

>>17553407
Then how do I ever get a boyfriend?

>>17553411
Shooting animals? Tuning a car? Starting a world war?

I have no male friends or aquaintaces and I have no clue what you are talking about.

>>17553431
Have you ever had sex? If you did and didn't enjoy it, do you have any idea if the guy was "good"? (Not skimping on foreplay, teasing you, making you feel hot and desired, showing affection as well as lust...) Do or did you ever enjoy masturbating?
If you do not masturbate and think you have had good sex that you did not enjoy nonetheless, I think it is worth considering the idea that you might have to look specifically for a guy who identifies as asexual, or otherwise has a low sex drive. (If you cannot envision yourself ever being okay with a relationship in which he gets his sexual needs fulfilled somewhere else, that is. Something else to consider.)

If you never got the hang of masturbating and never had (good) sex, it's too soon to despair. It is possibility that your sexuality will still blossom once you get a taste of the good stuff, especially if you're still young.

>>17553431
More like
>porno pics (check >>>/hm/, >>>/cm/, >>>/h/, >>>/hr/)
>porn videos (>>>/gif/, porn sites)
>erotic novels
>erotic games
>hentai (>>>/h/)
>fetish porn (>>>/d/)
>sex toys
>cam sites
>etc

And remember that you don't need to have sex to get a good boyfriend: you get a good boyfriend first, then have sex with him.

Also keep in mind that most girls go through this, so don't worry. It takes many until their 30s to really understand themselves and their wants and needs in bed. If you can do it before then, you'll be ahead of the curve.

>>17553442
I'm 22, am I too old?

I've tried masturbation, but I haven't invested in the super fancy expensive toys so I've had no results.

I've had a number of sex partners and I'm quite sure one of them had not been a virgin.

How do I get good sex?

>>17553448
Nobody's going to want to fuck me when I'm 30.

>>17553450
>Nobody's going to want to fuck me when I'm 30.
Eh, plenty of guys don't mind.
But the goal is to figure it out earlier, of course.
You got 8 years till then, after all!

I'd suggest exploring your options with erotica, find out what you like and don't like, and go from there.
And if you have trouble getting yourself off with hands, try working on technique (google) and consider getting a vibrator.

>>17553449
What I meant was less that there's a magical age barrier and more that the younger you are, the higher the chance that you haven't had the eye opening experience for you yet.

Toys aren't a necessity, they're a treat or a way to get off women who want to combine sensations, not just to get yourself off... your hand is fine for that. You never had sex you liked? Was there significant difference between partners or not much?
For most people it's a combination of compatibility (liking the same "vibe" in the bedroom, having similar fantasies), strong physical attraction and feelings. Relationship sex is always better than hook ups because of the trust, experience with each other's bodies and intimacy of your love.

>>17553450
Oh boy, you don't know men.

>>17553450
Why not? Are you fat, ugly, smelly, or otherwise undesirable?

The advice in this thread, jesus christ, no wonder women are so retarded, they listen to other women.

>>17553467
Are you suggesting that men are so knowledgeable about how female sexual psychology works? Because if that were the case they'd never bother with random dick pics.

>>17553458
I've tried reading/watching porn and all, and I used to have a kink but it disappeared.

>>17553459
The only difference I can really tell between men is penis size. There was a guy with whom I always had to start on top and slide down because it felt bad and not being able to control the pain would have been intolerable.

My ex was tiny and I didn't feel a thing. I just waited for it to be over and toyed with trying to find out whether I could come up with a sound so annoying that he wouldn't be able to finish. I could imitate a dog's squeaky toy and he never asked if I faked it.

>>17553462
I'm human-sized and take a shower every day, so I guess it's either one of the other two.

>>17553462
Yeah dude she told you she'll be 30, why are you rubbing the knife in?

>>17553450
Correction, no one will want to marry you.

You'll still get plenty of dick.

>>17553481
>teenager thinking that 30 is old

>>17553470
get rekt you like the dick pics and you know it

>>17553482
That is false as well, especially in this day and age of second marriages.

>>17553479
It could very well be that you just haven't found a guy you are really sexually compatible with. Keep dating and having sex. Maybe you'll find the right guy eventually, and you'll suddenly find sex with him much more enjoyable than ever before, and as a result your sex drive will shoot up as well.

>>17553483
>s/he thinks women arent obsolete past their mid 20's.

M8.

>>17553482
The average age for people getting married these days is around 30, you know.

>>17553483
Why is this so hard to understand for you? Why would I fuck a 30 year old when I can fuck a 16-22 year old? Even 22 is a bit too old. I'm not a teenager either but I don't have to be one to know 18 year olds will always be 18 and no 30 something woman will ever have the hormonally driven crazy rape fantasies a young woman has.

>>17553485
And third and fourth and fifth marriages.

She wont have any meaningful relationships brah.
That's the whole reason behind divorce rates.

>>17553484
About as much as most men would like a random shot of the actual vagina looking at you like the eye of Sauron.

Try some build up, show your chest or happy trail first. Try some texts that tease her imagination instead of being a thinly veiled or literal "will you fuck me already". Leave the dick pic for dessert if she liked everything else so far and is actually already wet.

>>17553490
How cute, it's a teenager virgin who thinks he knows what sex and relationships are like in your 30s better than people who are actually in their 30s.

>>17553485
Ask yourself if you're really gonna get the prince when you're 30 and realize that yes, you can get married at 30 but you're not going to get your first choice and you know deep down you lagged behind and are mediocre at best.

>>17553495
Plenty of people 30+ are still looking for love and serious about it. Some even who never got married before.

I think the hating sex will pose a bigger problem than eventually turning thirty.

>>17553496
Does it really matter for guys if they get what they wanted in the first place anyways?

>>17553493
>when I can fuck
Lel. No, you can't. It's more than obvious you are quite young and have never had sex. You have absolutely zero knowledge about women, regardless of them being 18 or 30.

>>17553496
Chill I'm not sending you any and you don't know the person I'm sending them too. Please keep your instruction book to yourself and your imaginary partner.

>>17553499
I'm not OP and not thirty either (just like she isn't by a long shot), but you have a wacked perception of relationships. I just want to be with someone who I can take care for, who loves me and wants to have a family with me. It's not a matter of winning some sort of lottery with first prize or second prize.

>>17553504
You must be a wizard or something, how can you see what is not there? No really, stop for a second and read your comment and imagine yourself in 3rd person saying that out loud. How do you look?

>>17553497
Dude,

Refer to this guy >>17553493

>>17553499
Less and less people are getting married before 30 these days. And there are plenty of good quality singles in their late 20s and in their 30s, who have never been married either.

>>17553507
That's nice but they don't want to be with you. Why would he pick you? What can you offer that a younger, tighter, more sexual woman that makes him feel alive can't? Besides children with autism of course.

>>17553502
>>17553505
If it works, it works, but as it is it's mostly a numbers strategy. This is for if someone wants an alternative.

>>17553515
What are you trying to say?

>>17553488
I've never had a date.

90% of the times I've had sex it's been me getting too drunk and picked up like a rotten fruit.

Men don't go after me in their right minds.

>>17553507
You're being trolled by teenagers, don't let them get to you.

>>17553514
Adults don't want to be with kids. Seriously, a guy who is over 25 will never want to date a girl who is 18. Why would anyone want to be dating a girl who is a kid, has major emotional issues, and who can't act like an adult at all?

Once you turn 25, you will understand why no grown men want to date girls under 22-23 seriously.

>>17553515
If it all boils down to sex in the first date why the fuck would a guy bother with all the filler if he just wants to get his dick wet, woman?

What sort of logic is this?

>>17553514
First of all, I don't know where you got the impression from that most men can pick their dream woman and disregard anyone who doesn't match their fantasy image. Most women, even most pretty women, can't even do that.

Secondly, it's just a matter of worldview, not a personal issue. I am not even in my mid twenties yet and not particularly keen on marrying at 30+, but we'll see how things go. However, why in the world would I want to marry a man who thinks that a woman at thirty is in every single aspect inferior to a woman at twenty? Why would I want to "grow old" with someone like that?

I strife to be a more patient, kinder, and more insightful person with more self-knowledge and relationship skills in a few years from now than today. If someone thinks that all of that is noise that becomes irrelevant if you compare it to the look of a younger girl, then he wasn't a prize to begin with - at least not to have as a husband.

>>17553520
And they will definitely not go after you when you're 30. You know it better than we do.

>>17553527
On the contrary, singles in their 30s are much more easygoing about casual sex. But, you're a kid, so I don't expect you to know that.

>>17553522
OP here, my ex was 9 years older than me (me 19 and he 28 when we started) and he was constantly forgetting that I was born mid-90s and wouldn't act his age.

It was very stressful and upsetting for both of us.

>>17553524
Even if you just want to get your dick wet, you want to turn her on to get her to fuck you. And for by far most women, a dick picture when they're thinking about other stuff does not turn them on the way a boob picture would in the reverse scenario because female sexuality doesn't work in the same way (and straight up high def genitals are an acquired taste for a lot of folks, that too).

>>17553522
>Seriously, a guy who is over 25 will never want to date a girl who is 18
Wrong

>Why would anyone want to be dating a girl who is a kid, has major emotional issues, and who can't act like an adult at all?
Because she isnt carrying 5-12 years worth of emotional baggage and hasnt been riding the cock carousel for that long either.

If a woman in her late 20s and early 30s is still still single its sure as hell isnt because "she acts like an adult".

>>17553535
To me, sending pictures of a dick would be just about equal to sending a picture of a gun or big knife. It scares me more than delights, and it doesn't delight at all.

>>17553522
Hold up I said nothing about dating. I agree with you there. You get off on thinking I'm a virgin teenager but I'm not and I agree with what you said, it would be a nightmare to have a relationship with a 16 year old but it's heaven fucking them and it will be heaven fucking them when you get married and it will be heaven fucking them for as long as 16 year olds will be 16. That's what I'm trying to tell you. You will never be able to compete with a younger woman in the sex scene, ever. No matter how huge the beauty industry gets, what investments get poured into it, what creams women smear on their face or what surgeries you have you will NEVER be as good as a younger woman. That's all I said. And if someone marries you it will be because they either need it for their career, it doesn't look good to be single at 30, want kids or they're the bottom of the barrel.

>>17553526
True people don't get to pick but when you'll be 30 most 16s will be a dream girl by comparison. You'll simply be old.

I agree with you on all that. Being married is important and most men would definitely not say what I'm saying here out loud. In fact if you wanted to have kids, raise them, be kind to them and teach them the importance of emotional and social development you'd be good in most guys book. But you know, and I know you'll never be as attractive as a young woman and your husband will dip his dick every now and then. You'll simply not be good enough to even compete.

>>17553540
You claim to not be a teenager, and then you go on and say 30 is old. You're lying on one of these things.

>>17553543
For a woman. 30 is old.. for a woman.

>>17553538
Your knowledge about women and dating clearly comes from /r9k/, not from real life experience.

>>17553546
Only teenager virgins think that.

>>17553540
My dad (back then reasonably handsome and wealthy) dumped his younger girlfriend to marry my mother, who was at the time they got married thirty eight and had never been a beauty queen. She IS a highly intelligent and interesting person who excelled as a mother, though.

If I honestly thought that men think the way that you do, I would say fuck it and search the world for a woman I could fall in love with. I am just lucky that your random opinion online isn't exactly my first or most thorough experience with men. I hope you aren't scaring some young lurking girl into becoming a manhater.

>>17553549
Why would that make them a manhater or scare them away into lesbianism?

Imagine if I said I'll become gay if women have multiple partners or because younger girls ride the cock carrousel's? The reason men don't show you that side is because the feminist movement has moved complex female social understanding eons ahead of its male counterparts. Our mentality and natural healthy expressions of our masculinity are about as taboo as a middle aged woman becoming a knight, with the exception of a few hobbies that we can entertain in public. It's simply not my fault that this, masculinity, is either not understood, accepted or discussed enough that even the basics of it are not common knowledge.

We like to fuck young women. Not too young but just right young. It's why you have beauty products and it's why you try to make yourself look young and sexy. I get what you're saying that you're not really old when you're 30 but when you get to fuck 20 year olds you can tell the difference and you can tell the age. It is that simple.

>>17553548
I'm not the anon you're talking to, and while I would not call a 30 year old woman "old" by any means (lol), I'd definitely say looks / hotness starts going down after that point... A shame really, but my dick and my brain judge differently.

>>17553561
Imagine I went around telling guys, don't worry, character is important and 6" is fine. She'll just sneak out every once in a while to get railed with an 8" dick because girls love their horsedick, but she'll love you no big deal.
If you honestly believed that shit, would you be up for it?

All the more because age isn't even something that affects a selected few. Everyone grows old and you want to be with someone who wants to grow old with you. Not someone who laments that you change and aren't forever the same twenty year old. Or who doesn't bother lamenting and just fucks them anyway.

Everyone likes youthful people. The rich and famous women who are middle aged also tend to marry men younger than they are. This is not news. Making it a priority to the point where youth is something that overrules all other personal traits you have to offer means that every woman you engage with is bound to lose out eventually.

>>17553561
>>17553575
Also wanted to add that I do believe you are right when you say that this extreme focus on youth is a masculine trait, given that it is also a big deal in the male homosexual community (complete with humiliating names for men "past their expiration date" etc), whereas in the lesbian community it doesn't seem to be an issue at all.

>>17553575
I mean, you have to be a fool to think otherwise right? You don't have to say it just like I don't but it is known that if any of us leave the opening and the other knows there will be no repercussions then it will happen. Whether either of us do depends on how good both of us understand what we're doing and the peculiarities of the relationship.

You seem to think I'm making the argument of
>sex > everything
and are replying with
>personality > sex

my argument is
>sex with a 20 year old > sex with you
what you look for in a relationship is for you. What other look for in a relationship is for them. Your expectations, your desires to grow old with one another, your goals, are all subjectively yours so fuck off with trying to imprint them on myself or the readers.

You developed a personality to compensate for growing old? Fantastic, it's what you are meant to do, great job. Do I give a fuck on this particular subject? No, fuck off.

A 20 year old is hotter than you will ever be at 30 and you will never be able to compete. Simple as that.

>>17553565
Not all women age the same. Of the ones I know, I would say that in general, the ones who get married and have kids are more likely to have their looks slowly fading in their 30s. On the other hand, the ones who are single in their 30s tend to stay youthful and hot.

>>17553587
>A 20 year old is hotter than you will ever be at 30
Get a load of this teenager virgin.

>>17553592
Can you please stop that teenager virgin meme? I'm 20.

>>17553586
They do? I would have guessed the focus is on more age in the homosexual community. Or is the younger age preference regarding the guy who gets done in the ass? Because then it would make sense.

The person who gets fucked should preferably be younger than the person doing the fucking, that makes sense from a masculine point of view.

>>17553587
Speak for yourself. Yes, there ARE people who hold themselves to standards.

That's not what I mean. I don't even mean to equate youth with sex. I am trying to argue that there is a difference between appreciating and valuing youth (which everyone does, and I do think men tend to do so more strongly than women as a gender), and valuing it over everything else to the point where you can't be faithful or happy and fulfilled with someone not super young.

>developing a personality
Even little kids have a personality. It is about continuing to better yourself as a human being and work on your flaws and talents.

If you don't give a fuck, don't bother with asinine replies either.

>>17553597
My understanding is that while there are many young (really young, I mean twelve-eighteen) boys who have a thing for the daddy dynamic, among attractive high status young men being "too old" makes it very hard to find a good relationship.
It's not a matter of psychology, just of physical beauty.

But all in all, if I can't stomach putting out now at 22, my changes of ever finding a guy are none?

>>17553598
You're not arguing on fair footing and you know it. Don't add extremes and absolutes to different things I said just because it makes your job easier. Hurr durr even little kids, piss of ja?

Individual cases aside. Individual preferences aside. There is one point I made from the beginning and one point that I still make. It's not regarding preferences for a long term partner, future mother of your children or stimulating conversational partner. It's regarding attractiveness.

Compared to a 20 year old woman you are old. You will never be as sexually active or attractive as her.

>>17553588
I wish... But that's not an observation my dick shares, anon. Then again, most of the unmarried non-fat 30 year olds I happen to personally know are basically into partying and smoking pot quite a bit, so that could affect them.

>>17553592
Surely you have better arguments than insulting him as being an involuntary virgin.

I have a good argument in his favour though. A study that actually showed that men do prefer women in the early 20s throughout their life, which got publicized even in hardcore feminist outlets like Jezebel:

http://jezebel.com/mens-favorite-ages-are-20-21-22-and-23-a-data-dive-1731660984

>>17553607
Didn't you say you only fuck when they guys is 3/4 passed out or something? How the fuck can we work anything with that?

>>17553605
So the homosexual community is further ahead in the understanding of masculinity than the heterosexual one. Makes sense. If men were to be in a relationship with a 15 year old we all know how that would be viewed but since the target in that community is a male and it's hard to see a male as a victim then they'd have the time and freedom to understand these concepts better.

Shame I can't look at gay shit and thus can't study this, I almost puked when I read your comment, but it's good to know masculinity can thrive if the conditions are right.

>>17553608
You are the one who said that men step out on their wives for not being young enough. That wasn't on me, I don't even believe it (or well, not as the general rule).

Not sure what your issue is with me saying that everyone already has a personality, including toddlers, which is just true if you've ever spent time around them.

And you were asking why what you said could turn someone to hating men. Which is that you are suggesting that men are not happy enough with the woman they chose to marry if she's not young enough, even if he prefers her for whatever practical reasons.

>>17553607
You're only 22. You still have plenty of years to change and mature. I'd recommend you just not worry about it, live your life, and eventually you'll run into a guy you really like and possibly have a good sex life.

>>17553614
He's just having fun don't take him serious

>jezebel
what, like the black one? She has some good videos mane, for real

>>17553618
I only fuck when *I* am 3/4 passed out.

>>17553623
The whole outbreak was because I tried to discuss one break and now we're discussing why old gay men fuck boys and you want to discuss the personality development of toddlers. Like for fuck sake can you focus a little.

Men can be happy and still "cheat". It's not cheating from a masculine point of view. There are certain traits that women adore that men can only gain, enforce and maintain by actively doing things that women look down on so we must do them in hiding. Like how women like fit men but aren't big fans of picking up heavy shit, in general. Same with cheating, it makes you act and think in a certain way that women find attractive but yet that doesn't mean they like how the result was got. Get what I'm saying? It's why I said masculinity is not understood.

>>17553634
That sounds horrible. How much do you need to drink to get drunk?

>>17553637
>It's not cheating from a masculine point of view.
Look, that's another prime example of stuff that could turn someone away from wanting to be with a man if they believe it.

I get what you're saying but just because there's a theory behind it doesn't make it right. There's plenty of married women who would be more energetic, sexual and patient if they got a good dicking by an exciting stranger every once in a while. It is possible that their partner would appreciate those effects. Does that make it okay? NO. Because you're keeping your partner in the dark, you're violating the premise of the relationship (assuming it's monogamous), and you are letting them bring a sacrifice (other sexual relations) that you secretly enjoy freely nonetheless. It's not that difficult, the only reason why it would be more complicated than this is because out of sheer desire to have your cake and eat it too you let yourself be blinded by these rationalizations.

>>17553639
Until I lose memory. Good often I don't recall ever meeting the guy, I just wake up naked from a stranger's place.

>>17553641
Why would I care if anyone get scared away from men? If you can turn your back on cock you either didn't like it in the first place or you're full homo bro.

You're going on the assumption that what applies to females applies to males. There's equality in the sense that we should both be treated fairly but there's things guy can and should do and things women can and should do. And things they shouldn't. Men cheating is a should, women cheating isn't. Men proving is a should, women providing isn't. (Insert could wherever you want though). It's not the same thing for both genders as in it's not equality in the sense of the same. A man will be a better male if he cheats. A female however won't be a better female if she does.

>fucking english language and it's lack of variety for "equality". I feel like a /g/eek trying to explain "free"

>>17553650
Sounds like a keeper

>>17553650
Poor thing so that's like, what, 5 shots? Maybe 6? 3?

>>17553657
About half of a 50cl bottle of something 40%.

>>17553627
>He's just having fun don't take him serious
Maybe I hang out too much on /r9k/, where such insults are actually serious.

>>17553658
Oh that's not much at all, you're pretty cheap. Where do you live hon, I want to offer you some support... to sit on... my dick...

>>17553654
You don't have to, but you posed the question why it would look off putting to a woman.

I would perhaps agree with you if one of the differences between men and women was that women were less devastated by infidelity than men, but it's not.
Then there's the assumption that every man automatically turns into a better person from fucking around on his wife. I don't doubt that for some situations this is the case but I don't think it's a set formula in any way. Even then, it seems worthless to me to talk about truthfulness in a relationship to me when your relationship is kept intact by lying by omission. But whatever suits you I guess.

I know, gelijk en gelijkwaardig. Equality already means of equal value, not literally the same.

>>17553665
Well there's rules to it and it's really complex. You can't do it from the start, just like anything it takes ridiculous amounts of time to master and perfect so that both parties get the good good out of everything.

Anyway, so are you gonna post your tits or something, it feels a little anticlimactic to end it like this.

>>17553664
You're really fucking charming, aren't you?

>>17553676
I know right?

>>17553654

Narcissist confirmed. Cheating doesn't make men better. You're just the male version of the nasty, selfish cunt who emasculates her man by cheating and treats him like shit, while expecting him to be completely faithful and kind.

>>17553702
Not it at all, fuck off and assume somewhere else

>>17553705
I'm not that anon, but I think cheating for a man could very easily develop into something more. Pair bonding happens and suddenly the man finds himself more attached to the other woman than his wife. Not exactly an unheard-of story.

>>17553712
I get what you're saying, it can possibly be a very interesting conversation

>>17553493
Uh, my 28 y/o gf is into that shit. I'm not so much, but I like watching her get off to it way more than im creeped out by it. I do what she wants and she does what I want. We fuck constantly. I doubt you'll have a hard time finding someone like that.