Hey /adv/. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year

>>17548906
inb4 "jealousy/trust issues" bc true, I am a very anxious and jealous person

>>17548906
Right off the bat, long distance is shit.
You're someone in the West Coast of America with someone in China/Australia or some shit?
You can't make it work.
Just can't.
You can't compete with someone he can touch. Nor can he compete with someone he can touch.

You're better off being friends.
Elsewise, the lucky one to make a real relationship will hurt the other.
Because long distance can't compete with actual intimacy.

>>17548919
I mean, I don't see why it can't work. I'm saving up to move in with him.

>>17548906
I spent 4 years trying to make it work with the woman of my dreams. She was my soulmate, the one for me, I knew it very soon after meeting her. She was the best friend I had ever had in my entire life, the one person I truly connected with at a level I didn't imagine was possible back when I was a teenager having little crushes on cute girls in school. We Skyped all day long, as much as we could with our time zones. I lived in the US and she lived in the UK. We met each other in real life, I flew to her. It was magical every time. But the distance, the trust issues - they wore on us. We both wanted out eventually despite both knowing we had each truly had found the one person in this world who would love us more than anyone else will ever love us.

We split up a month ago because distance does things to people - It makes you say mean things because you're a million miles away and you're just talking to a disembodied voice who you can't hug, and whose hand you can't hold. You can't have sex. You can't even hear each other's true voice, just the one that your shitty headset or cellphone transmits across the ocean. You can't hold hands. You can't hold hands. You can't kiss. You can't hold hands. You cry at night. You hug your pillow every night. You have a piece of clothing they wore once and it means more to you than anything in the world, because it's a physical object you can touch and feel that they once touched, and you shared that moment together in real life - it's not just your memories that exist. It's real even though you're oceans apart

I'm devastated and in a state of aphasia regarding the situation, and you will be too when it ends.

>>17548943
For one, you don't really know each other.
You see what you both put out as your digital front, but you don't know what you both are as real people.
The twitches, the insecurities, the harshness of real vision.

Why are you saving up to move to him when he can be saving up to have you move? It should be at least half, right?

I've known people who go the distances and find themselves stranded.
Have him put himself on the line. Have him send you a couple hundred bucks before you buy a ticket.

>>17548950
See, I don't quite agree with the whole "you only know what they show you" thing. I get people tell me there's no way we can really know each other because we're so far apart. But we talk almost 24/7. We have 100 hour long Skype calls. He knows more about me than anybody ever has. And yeah, he's offered to pay the whole thing for me to move there to him. He wants to pay it all. But I told him I don't want him to do that, and that I'd save up. Might go halfsies because I can't stand waiting anymore.

>>17548950
>>17548958
Yeah ignore people who say "You don't really know each other"

To an extent it's true - he could have a secret real life you don't know about. But you get really, really close by talking all day long instead of doing shit. Talking about each other and your day and your feelings. You get really close

The issue is that you get too close, closer than is healthy, so it stops working.

>>17548966
I get what you mean. I feel like there's a codependency thing going on but I'm not bothered by it. I'd be like that if I were with him irl too. That's just the kind of person I am. I want to be dependent on the person I spend the rest of my life with anyway.

>>17548976
>I want to be dependent on the person I spend the rest of my life with anyway.

But do you know him?
Putting a face for a camera is easy.

When you're together in person, conflicts arise where you just can't say "I'll see you later".

What you feel about needing and wanting to be needed is normal. But you are looking for it in a possibly sketchy place.

Just be careful and have a part of your mind be wary

Do u guys sexchat? 7u7

>>17548993
ya senpai

Leave a kik and I'll tell you my story with long distance in the morning

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109KB, 734x734px

>>17548948
omg anon, that sounds awful! ;( h-hang in there! maybe when enough time passes you can at least salvage the friendship youve shared, and life is pretty unpredictable so you dont know where you might find yourself, or she might find herself, in a few years. It might be something you can make work in the future, it might not, but if there was this amazing connection i think its worth the effort to try and stay in touch (in the future ofc, when this is not as raw).

youll make it senpai <3 <3 <3

>>17548906
Have you ever seen him? Do you think that this 1 year he never had sex?

Have you met in real life? No? Then I have bad news for you.

>>17549172
Honestly I believe him when he says he hasn't. There's no time for him to cheat on me. We're always together.
>>17549213
Not yet. He's visiting within the next few months. Flights are expensive, man. >>17549033
No thank u I don't know who u are, post it here

>>17548980
Also I feel like I really do know him. Would be be able to keep up the mask fit 24 hours straight? We're always on cam. And in our relationship there's never been a conflict where we just say "see you later." It's always talk it out, and then talk about how we wish we were together already so he could hug me and make me feel better about it.