Well. Me and this girl were doing great. I take off my mask for

The question is why you even need a mask and what is underneath it...

>>17541597
Shit

>>17541589
You take off the mask after getting married
At least that's what most men do.

>>17541597
Underneath is just a normal human, with flaws.
People nowadays can't accept that. They want someone perfect. Flawless.
So we have to pretend we are so.

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>taking off the mask

>>17541589

The fuck did you text her to fuck it up in just 3 messages?

I assume your version of taking off the mask was jamming your raw dick in dry without any lube 10 minutes into the first date in the backseat of your car. Probably something along the lines of, "People are actually really shit and nobody loves anybody and we're all actually in life for just ourselves :/ Even our relationship is just me trying to fuck you."

Besides me being a condescending and presumptuous dick head aside, why don't you post the contents of the messages to decide whether or not you were going a little overboard?

>>17541728
>>17541725

Her: Well you need to be good at beng open because with out it theres no hope for a future of us

ME:
I get that. I don't know what ou heard about me lol but im a bit more mature in that aspect.

I'd like to tell you what I've been through these past two years. i don't really open up to too many people

I swear I'm trying though haha, I feel hella comfortable around u

Not even these two years just life haha.


The end. :'

>>17541707
this man. this is the life from now on. once you get heart broken once, you never feel like your insides will be liked by anyone. It's just how it is anon, you saidit.

>>17541759
You made yourself sound like a deviantart emo edgelord about "what yoiu've gone through"

>>17541759
that's not even bad, i was expecting 10x worse

>>17541763
have you heard girls talk

>>17541759
Condescending dick head here:

You sound sincere enough, like you're trying. You sound immature, but I don't think that's the problem. What's your history? With her slapping you with an ultimatum like that, I imagine this wasn't just a casual conversation.

When somebody says something like, "I don't know what you've heard about me", I immediately think they're wrapped up in some kind of ongoing drama with a larger party.

>>17541767
It was too out of character. I let her see who I was lol. Usually, I'm perfect mode and everything I say is complete attraction. Crazy man, my mind is so beyond fucked up it's how I gotta live now. Never be too transparent, curiosity kills the cats.

>>17541759

What was supposed to respond, there's not much to go on with really.

>>17541772
Her friends heard stories about me reguarding drugs and girls. I cheated on my ex in highschool and got that player title. Drug wise idk what she heard but she asked if I was still taking them. Then earlier, she told me to be open because she let me in and she doesn't want to get hurt. I said i'd never hurt her. then tonight I sparked up how i've been thinking about what she said. I told her that I'm glad she brought it up and that I thought about how she said she wants me to be more open. I told her I liked it and wanted to hug her lol. then I said I'm not too good at it. then that.

>>17541759

Jfc. She asked you to open up and instead of doing anything of the sort you just said you should open up and that you're trying and then kept repeating haha like a retard. No wonder she's pissed and probably assuming you're not making any effort at all.

>>17541781
protip: there's never such a thing as opening up too little
anything you say can and will be used against you and all that

>>17541781
I do sound like i'm hiding some deep shit anon. I'm not too open of a person, with anyone. So i'm just trying to be honest with her as I was referring to the fact that it's only been attraction between us. I see it though, I do sound like im hiding some deep shit.

Literally,
>Rehab
>Dealing
>Horrible Last Relationship
>Deep Depression

>>17541790
>Suicide attempts
>Near deaths
>crazy limbo of anxiety
>anger issues

>>17541794
I figured these come out AFTER we've been dating for a while. It was only two weeks

>>17541774
>>17541778
Wait to see what happens. It could just be coincidence.

I say this to you from one clueless idiot to the next, because I can't give this as advice since I'm also fucked but maybe something to think about. Maybe I'm just imagining things or projecting myself on you, but... The people around you are an important part of your life and health. Don't get caught up in bullshit. If you're in a cycle where you feel like something's wrong, you should consider your options. You might feel like you have some form of obligations, but it's all in your head.

>you need to be a lady killer
>you need to be manly
>you have something to prove
>you've got a name to make for yourself

Man, that's all shit. Literally none of that matters and it will never make you happy. People are not fake or shitty. People are just born into a shitty life where they have all these ideas in their head that imprison them into behaving a certain way that isolates them from others. Be completely honest with yourself: are you free to choose to act that way or are you just doing what the people around you taught you to be like? It can really hurt your pride to think that maybe the things you believe aren't really your own ideas, but if you can't overcome that barrier when that might really be the problem, you're fucking done.

>>17541818
Sounds solid, but I have a feeling that this thought process leads to neckbeardism

>>17541852
Maybe it could. But then again, what my thinking is is that as long as you can keep venturing where you feel most uncomfortable, you might just make it in the end. To keep it relevant to the OP's question, I was thinking maybe it might be good to bring up since he seemed disappointed about "showing his real self" more than anything else.

To be fair, I'm really lost right now. I don't have bad relationships with other people, but I just don't feel anything about most aspects of my life. I look at all my options for work and careers and... while I do enjoy certain hobbies, I mostly just feel lukewarm about all of it. I'm always trying out new things, looking at life from a new perspective, but it all just feels so fucking grey and bland.

But when I ask myself what I want from life, I keep giving myself this line about finding meaning and doing something big with my life. Doing something that will really have an impact on people's lives and all that shit. It's a really admirable perspective, but maybe it's just a fucking sham. To say maybe I'm being strung along and I was just raised to think that's important when it's not. Maybe it's okay to just settle down and enjoy a nice, small community of people and never think twice about all the shit being posted on the internet or what's going on with big corporations. Maybe it's not about STICKING IT TO THE MAN but just... stop trying to make it a big deal.

It's like, maybe I'm destroying everything I've ever stood for by bailing on those ideals, but maybe those feelings of obligation are the only thing between me and having peace of mind.

>>17541759
lol for some reason i thought you meant you went full /pol/ on her.

>>17541589
>virgin

There is your problem. Stop placing so much value on that.

>>17541589
The real question is, why are you bothering with real people in the first place?
Don't you know all females are complete trash?
Do you want to be some cuck that pays for her expensive shoes while she gets her brains fucked out of her every night by the first hot guy she meets?

>>17542114
The real question is, why is /r9k/ leaking again? Get out.

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>>17542147

>can't refute the points
>i-i know, I'll tell him to go back to /r9k/, that will show him!

>>17542147
so, what is it with you

>a woman cheating on ME? I'm too awesome to ever let that happen to me

or

>a woman CHEATING? b-but they are such sweet people, I can't imagine them doing that.

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>>17542147

>>17542147
The hotter a woman looks (and she knowing that very well) the higher her standards are and the more demanding she will be.
Hell, even average looking woman act like they are fucking Queens reigning over an empire these days.

>>17542157
Do you have to avatarfag your retarded posts in every thread?

>>17542172
so, what is it with you

>I'm an angry autistic fat sperglord NEET kissless virgin

or

>I'm an angry autistic skelly sperglord NEET kissless virgin

>>17542204
>reaction images
>avatarfaggig

How fucking new can you be?
It's also one of the most common reaction image on this site.
Seriously, go back to lebbit and never come here again.

>>17542207
>anyone who disagrees with me must be a sperglord virgin

You sound like a woman.

>>17542147
>>17542157
>>17542210
This dude posts in every thread about a woman in it. I'm 100% sure it's the same person, and not just a couple dudes who can't write a post that isn't 30% buzzwords, because some of the nuanced ways he writes.

I'm gonna give you a name, friend. What's your name?

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>>17541767
This.

You weren't THAT bad OP. You don't sound deranged and the whole exchange really isn't even awkward. You sound like you're aware of the issue and that you're willing to put in effort.

Admittedly, however, for people with a good amount of dating experience, there are some major red flags in there.

Basically, anyone of a certain age has lived through some life and been through shit. The question is to what extent have they learned from the past and moved on. Personally, I cannot tell you the number of girls -- again, "GIRLS," a mature woman tends not to do this -- I have encountered that use some variation of the "I've been through things" language and it is ALWAYS a giant flashing neon sign that means she's still fixating on whatever pity narrative she's telling herself in her head and will comfortably wield it as an excuse for whatever bad behavior is surely coming.

People tell you who they are from the very beginning. Believe them. I pay extremely close attention to the way a woman self-describes in the first couple of dates. They will almost always try to casually insert some kind of "I mean, I can be a little crazy...lol" or ""Oh I'm all kinds of trouble lol" or "I'm a strong woman" (PRO-TIP: she's trying to convince herself of this, not you, and people who are actually strong/stable don't need to say so). People who aren't still grappling with demons simply don't talk about themselves this way. What's coming out of their mouths is a reflection of whatever narrative they're telling themselves about themselves internally. They'll try to brush it off or diminish its importance, but they're literally telling you that they think there's something really wrong with them (at least when it comes to their ability to be with other people). And people tend not to reach these kinds of deep-seated conclusions about themselves lightly. They're based on and reinforced by a lot of experience.

That's what I'd see that in your text.

>>17542620
This guy gets it.

Everyone has 'baggage' or rather, some kind of flaw, and so its ridiculous to expect yourself to be perfect and not have issues. But, when you brandish it like it's a part of you, it can kind of push people away.

The last girl I took out on a date started telling me that she is this crazy wildflower who needs some guy who can "handle her". Even though I am perfectly fine with handling someone else's imperfections, I do get a little nervous when people make you aware of them so soon.

Think of it this way, you wouldn't go into a job interview and say that sometimes you might be late to work or get caught texting on your cellphone while on the clock. Even if it's true, you don't talk about it. They won't be terribly surprised (though not too thrilled to see it), but you speaking of it makes it sound like it's a real problem that they should consider not hiring you for.

>>17541759
The only thing you did wrong was in your writing:
>u
>hella
stop this shit faggot. if you think taking of your mask is possible with a text you are a fucking retarded piece of garbage Jesus fucking hell nigger christ man, STOP STOP STOP STOP this shit, call her, ask her if she wants to og out to eat, fucking talk about this shit with your voice and her ears, BUT MAKE SURE SHE OPENS TO YOU SIMULTANEOUSLY humans are inherently egotistical, which is fine but just make sure you have a balance between understanding you STUPID FAGGOT. pardon the capitalization im just mad.

Thats why i dont hide shit at all.

No point wasting time. Either you find someone that is cool with your flaws or you die alone. Shit isnt worth hiding yourself for life.

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>>17542989
See >>17542620 and >>17542905.

There's a difference between knowing you're flawed and boasting your flaws. The latter is less about finding someone who can love you as you are and more about making it someone else's responsibility to accept you in a way that you clearly don't even accept yourself. It's basically you trying to buy yourself the excuse of "Well I told you so, so what did you expect?" if and when they reject your true colors, and it's a way of making it ok for you to not have to work on those flaws by putting them out there as a kind of "This is part of the package. Take it or leave it". It's a defense mechanism.

People who know that they are flawed but are comfortable in who they are just devote their energy to living their lives, being true to themselves, and letting people know them by dealing with them and allowing both parties to reach their own conclusions as to whether they want to be in one another's live or not. They're not busy letting all the skeletons out of their closet because "only the one" will accept me entirely from day 1. That's wholly unrealistic.

>>17543030
I didnt say blurt it out, said dont hide it.

If you talking with a chick and she brings up past sex partners, tell the truth.

If she brings up hobbies and you like to vidya, say it.

Just saying dont be fake trying to be what someone else wants.

>>17543116
I think we're talking more about your core identity than hobbies or people you've slept with. Not that people can't be insecure about vidya or past partners, but I'm talking more about the flaws that get at the root of who and what you really are, the kind where you are REALLY putting yourself out there and exposing yourself (e.g. "My father was abusive and I have severe intimacy issues), moreso than being open about lifestyle quirks that are generally hit or miss with people.

>>17543142
I still say dont hide it if its brought up.

If you were abused and that makes it hard for you to be close to others, say it.

Im not saying you should be all "i cant get close to people, if thats a problem fuck off".

Explaining that you were abused, that it makes you standoffish and that your trying to change and let others in isnt excessive. Maybe some bishes wont want to deal with any shit and end it, those are the bitches that aint worth dealing with.

If she brings up you being standoffish and you say shit like "i dont want to talk about it" then she thinks you hiding shit and will imagine the worst.

>>17543195
>I still say dont hide it if its brought up.
>if its brought up

Right, which isn't what we're talking about. You're talking about healthy, open communication when the time calls for it. We're talking about not wearing your scars/flaws for the world to see like some "damaged goods" sign.

>>17543116
Nope nope. You don't have a girlfriend ma friend.

>>17543030
This, thanks anon. I wouldn't want to put anybody in that position.

Well as an update, still no reply.

I sent her this and learned a valuable lesson. Never be transparent, especially if your a fucked up person. Keep your emotions to yourself and focus on your goals.

"Now I have goals and well I'm starting to know you aha so yeah, I'll be honest with you :]"

>>17543306
Alright bro, enjoy explaining dhit when she finds out you lied about stuff.

>>17543287
I was always talking about if its brought up.

Someone blurting shit out is a sign to run fast.

>>17543358
No lying. I'm taking shit as I go. I agree that you should be honest, if your hobby's playing vidya ID change that because I'm 20.

>>17541589
Nobody cares who you are when you take off the mask!

> take off my mask
lmao, this is why you can't keep women.

You're not honest with your intentions, and you're inconsistent.

Fag.

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>>17543406
You're deluding yourself if you don't think everyone performs just in the basic process of interacting with people, and especially when courting a partner.

Don't kid yourself. People want what they want and it's generally the same stuff. Someone attractive, interesting, likable, etc etc. If you have the luxury of being the type of person who naturally possesses qualities that largely desirable, then you're lucky. Many people don't. "Be yourself" is not an option for some people if they at all want a partner, and their struggle is navigating the "who I am" with the "who I need to be to get the things I want."

Pic related.

>>17543427
Didn't read your excuse of why you're a little bitch.

>>17543442
That's right. Now let me finger your asshole.

>>17543450
Not the fag that you're arguing with, but he has a point. You sound really good at attracting women, but you can't keep them because you're so gay about the whole "mask" thing that they eventually sense something's off and high tail it outta there once they've got what they wanted. Not saying you should "be yourself" but maybe you should "BEE yourself", haha get it?

I forgot to attach the picture of the bee. Fucking niggers goddamn it

>>17543723
Yeah, I'm learning from this. Still no reply from her so I'm pretty down. I gotta learn that the *mask* thing I'm talking about is bullshit and that everyone has been thru shit. She just wanted to know if it was safe for her to let me in, didn't need to hear all the shit I said. There is no mask. It's social interaction, character building. If she wants to know about my past,then I open up little by little. There is no mask.

>>17541759
I don't see anything particularly unusual or wrong with this. I think she's just a judgmental bitch, probably, or got bored/distracted/busy/infatuated-with-Chad/reclaimed-by-a-past-lover/etc and disappeared.

Women are shit, anon. They contribute very little in the dating process, they get a free pass on all kinds of issues that they would judge men badly for, they expect you to entertain them nonstop and deal with their ridiculous irrational feelings even while providing little to no emotional support to you in turn, they expect you to do all the work in sex and eventually decide they don't even want sex anymore after a couple years, they will get fat for no reason, they manipulate people constantly, and given the opportunity they *will* try to get pregnant even if you don't want kids or try to steal your money in that or another way. They are ultimately just a dangerous plaything, and they tend to treat you badly regardless of what you do.

>>17543922

This only happens if you are a beta with nothing worthy to offer.

Be a real man and you will find a kind girl who cares for you and genuinely wants the best for you.

>>17541589
>3 texts

Maybe don't text stuff like this next time. I sure as hell dont, unless I have no other options (my online friends).

I think texting ruins relationships and the more face to face interaction the better.

Id like to see this cowardly generation "ghost" people when they're standing right there.

>>17544115
I think, she wanted to hear me say. "Yeah, you could tell me everything I like listening."

Should I text her again? Lol

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>>17541589
That's a high quality niggress.