>26 years old >gf also 26 years old >been together for

Lusting after other girls is fine but the idea that you are worried you might cheat on her is dangerous.

I suggest seeing a therapist and getting all your thoughts to a trained professional.

Being scared of the thought of the relationship not working out is normal.

Figuring you may cheat on her is not good. Fantasizing that you might is even worse.

>>17539115
>>17539117
This is an interesting idea, but in my experience they take a lot of money for very little

cheat on her just to get it out of your system

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>>17539110
>This is kind of scaring me, I'm afraid we'll move in together in 2 years and I end up cheating on her, or just realize she doesn't satisfy me, and I end up dumping her at 29 years old, possibly ruining her life.+ 0 post omitted.

Being scared of challenging problem is normal, I was always scared of abstract algebra, but that's what makes me so good at it, I spend more time thinking about it and try to adjust my strategy.
Also keep in mind that in order to cheat on your gf, the other chick must consent.

>>17539185
That's the main problem actually, I barely had any dates before my gf, and now women are flirting with me all the time, and I even received a few offers.
As for thinking about it, I think awareness is important to avoid being tempted into it, but I'm afraid obsession will inevitably drive me to cheat on her.

>>17539194
>I barely had any dates before my gf, and now women are flirting with me all the time
Do these women know you have a gf ? maybe they are just being nice.
Also do you even find your gf attractive ?

do you do feet stuff with her and how did you go about asking?

>Also do you even find your gf attractive ?

exactly

why do you think she will not be able to satisfy you, is that happening now? or are you just scared shes going to gain 100lbs in 2 years?

>>17539205
Usually I insert it into the conversation casually, and then it becomes a normal conversation or they back off. I can certainly tell the difference, and even had some clear offers (for both dates and one night stands).
>>17539214
>>17539205
And I find my girlfriend very attractive, when I'm with her I think she's the most beautiful person in the world. But I do realize that I could probably easily date women who are considered "hotter". Which is probably at the root of what bothers me.

>>17539207
Sometimes we do. Didn't really ask, just let it happen naturally... I started out my massaging her, which she enjoyed, eventually I started tickling her and kissing her foot, which she also enjoyed, and then I went further. When I did something that she didn't enjoy she'd tell me and I'd back off. At the beginning she didn't like me putting her feet in my mouth, but now it actually turns her on.

Yeah, not having met a lot of girls and still wanting too see other horizons while being with the woman of your life can bean issue for a lot of men.

There's not a lot of solutions.
1) you do it just one time, but no more and see if it suits you, if there's nothing more to offer than your gf, and if she's enough for you, but that's also risking loosing her

2) you don't and you internalize those things to project that sexual tension on your gf while having sex. This can work very well.

>>17539265
Maybe I'll talk about it with her and ask for permission to do it just one time, so I can get it off my chest. She might understand. I know other friends who've made an arrangement like that, though it usually didn't end up well.

>>17539275
Yeah that's not a good idea. You better bring it up in a joke first and back out if she's not good with it. Or she might ask you to do the same.
Or she might not want to be with someone who wants to do that.

Shitty situation, either risk to loose her, maybe for nothing, or swallow your desires and use them on your gf.

>>17539296
Maybe I can start by asking for a threesome? I know she's not a fan of threesomes due to bad experiences, but told me she wasn't opposed to it.

>>17539355
That could be one solution, but I'd advise always asking these things while slightly joking, just in case, so you can back out easily.

It could be a solution, but then she might also want her own threesome with another man, and you'd have to say yes... With all jealousy matters a threesome can bring.

I have (had) similar issues, but my gf don't want a threesome. She mentionned that it's both way as I wrote up here, and the danger is inviting someone in your couple's intimacy she or you could fancy just a little too much.

Or just fap a lot to anyone you'd like to fuck, and fuck your gf like hell, thinking about anyone you want. What's going on in your head is for your eyes only...

>>17539219
>then it becomes a normal conversation or they back off. I can certainly tell the difference even had some clear offers (for both dates and one night stands).

ok, that's enough ego stroking for OP kek you are trying too hard and this thread smells like bs. Not buying the existence of your gf either.

Its normal dude..every man thats married or in a relationship gets turned on when they see a fine ass or body...as long as you dont go out of your way and really cheat then your fine.

women do it too..
dont you think your gf doesnt check out hot guys too? its normal and a fact of life.

>>17539395
That's a good point, but I feel fairly confident. I just think a threesome would be a bit awkward. If she agrees to each of us having one go at someone outside of the relationship it would be ideal.
I'll try asking while joking, hopefully she won't kill me.

>>17539410
It's true. But I am still afraid I will end up cheating, since I have been with so few women, and because I feel it will be so easy to just say "yes" one time.

>>17539424
You are not ready for a committed relationship and will inevitably end up cheating at this rate, judging by your mindset and seemingly low sense of self control. Talk to your girlfriend about how weak willed you feel and go from there. If you still have doubts you can be faithful afterward, break up. You can't have your cake and eat it.

>>17539410

This. It's an uncomfortable fact for many, so most people don't really talk about it. Like everyone is probably aware on some intellectual level that their significant other can and will find other people attractive, but for most people they realize that it's a subject that's best left unexplored.

Sometimes couples might talk about other people being physically attractive, but usually that's in the context of that other person being totally outside the scope of attainability - I.E. a made up character in a show, a video game, or a movie star. Only the more jealous types are going to get really upset if you say something like "Whoa, Scarlett Johansson looks really good in this movie," but most folks will get understandably uncomfortable if you say "Man, your best friend has some amazing tits..."

I think the bigger problem is that you think it's somehow outside of your control. It may feel that way because your dick is going diamonds at the though of sliding in some wet, strange pussy sandwiched between a hot piece of ass but that's just your base impulses talking. I mean, given the choice your body would probably also have you eat delicious comfort food and play video games all day while but you don't let that happen - so why would you just give in to your dick?

If anything, as others have said, you need a way to channel this. Find some more exciting things to do with your gf to bond more and get closer emotionally. Go to different places, try some new things in the bedroom, learn to excite each other.

>>17539443
Well, I've managed OK for 2 years so far, but it's definitely scary in the long range. Will definitely talk to her about this (though I think it's best to first introduce the subject with humor as >>17539395 suggested). As for breaking up, it certainly isn't something I'd do so quickly. I love her dearly, and I know it will really hurt both of us. You don't throw away someone who's such a huge part of your life due to "doubts" and "rules".

>>17539456
Thanks, that's really good advice.

Btw, what kind of feeling do you get if you imagine your girlfriend telling you the exact same thing that you're telling us?

"I love my bf and when we're together he's the most gorgeous guy in my eyes... but then these beefcakes and studs keep flirting with me and I can't help but stare at that huge bulge in their pants and what it would feel like to be fucked senseless just one time..."

>>17539467
Horrible, like I'm not enough for her and can't satisfy her. It's a huge blow to the ego, which is why I don't want to just tell her directly and talk about it

>>17539462

There's also other ways to get distracted to - that's what hobbies are for. If you constantly hit up clubs other events where there are a lot of young singles then you'll just keep running into the situation. Find something else you can focus your attention on like cars or climbing or DIY electronics or watching shit with your gf and you'll find yourself with a lot less time to think about straying.

Plus, reinforce the thing that make your relationship work. Think about the reasons why you love your gf or why you want to move in with her and etc.

If you can't think of any reasons why when you're by yourself and not being distracted by an enticing prospect then you have a different problem.

>>17539498
The problem generally arises because we live in different cities right now due to work. We are together 3 days a week, but after 3 days without her, I start lusting after other people. These are generally just fleeting thoughts in the busy day-to-day, but they are certainly there.

>>17539458
I agree, and do hope to work through it. But keep in mind that if you don't come to some resolution and you cheat, you will have hurt both of you far worse than if you had just decided to end it.

>>17539115
lol white people and relying on therapists for everything

>>17540094
>lol white people and relying on therapists for everything
lol non white poeple rely on white poeple for everything

>>17539219
>But I do realize that I could probably easily date women who are considered "hotter"
There's your problem, stop being a massive cunt and realize that the grass has the same color everywhere on earth

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Very similar to you op

>love gf
>have fun with her
>no problems in the relationship
>no reason for me to break it off
>Especially dont want to break her heart

Yet occasionally under very specific circumstances i get the urge too. I think it mainly ties into the fact that i got into a long term relationship way to early in my life and want other experiences, its the thought of missed opportunities and what could have happened that seems to always bug me. Its getting to the point where im literally planing a solo overseas trip so i can just get some time away from the relationship and do what i want.

Add that on top of me being happy to be in a open relationship with her (because who gives a fuck, she has slept with others before hand, who cares if she sleeps with a few more. She is much more against it than i am) and its a dangerous mix.

This has been happening for a while OP and i still dont know what to do about it.

>>17540120
wrecked

This is an interesting thread, and I am in a similar situation I feel; mostly related to the considerably un-exciting sex life that i have with my woman.

I look at other women, and even chat with them and stuff feel like im building a rapport, and then I remember what would happen if I took it over the line... i'd probably have to deal with them and listen to them complain and get into gay ass arguments with them-- something I have never ever done with my lady, which is awesome.

i liked the advice about internalizing those frustrations and focusing them on my woman, specifically in our sex life.

i also notice that my "lusting" has a lot to do with how recently i last got off, but its a double edged sword. if i spend all my time jacking off, i cant perform for her, but i am a bit less lusty; but if i dont beat my meat i'll start getting really horny and looking at other women and thinking more aggressively, her included.