Why is being a virgin a problem? I'm a 22 y/o khv and I'm

Nope.

Nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't feel shamed.

>>17538801
Happiness comes from within
Do whatever the fuck you want just don't hurt anybody

>>17538801
I'd say it stunts you in a childish emotional age.
Having sex/ having a relationship in your teens and early twenties makes you emotionally mature for other things that clme in life. It also it feels incredible, obviously. All of this is my opinion, tho.

You're still a kid, go out there and take a girl and make her happy. Or just get a prostitute, its your call really.

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>>17538806

>>17538824

>>17538816
Can you explain how lack of sex causes a childish emotional age/intelligence/maturity?

I can see it the other way around, emotional immaturity causing virginity but why can't I develop myself emotionally without having sex?

Monks and priests are pretty emotionally mature aren't they?

>>17538865
It doesn't. Some of the more mature people I know haven't had sex. People say it makes you more mature when they want to feel better about their lack of overall life experience.

Think about it: someone who has traveled the world is exceptionally more interesting that someone that stayed home having sex that whole time.

>>17538816
I would actually say the opposite. People who remain single past their early years always seem more mature and focused to me. I've noticed my friends who are constantly in and out of relationships are also bad at saving money, like getting fucked up constantly, and have no plans for the future. I know you have at least one, if not all three, of those traits.

>>17538801

if you feel content and happy, or at least arent yearning so much that it effects your life, than no its not a bad idea.

the only thing wrong with the problem is that if oyu ever changed your mind you'd be 'way behind' and have trouble getting out of the position.

the question is, why do you want to be this way?

>>17538905
Bitter at times, low resources, little experience with the opposite sex, soft heart, non-dominant personality, understanding of the difficulties people like me have getting sex, understanding of what sex actually is and how it has nothing to do with the goals I've set out for myself.

I figure I'd be expending too much time and energy on increasing my sex appeal compared to the normal man and it's just not worth it.

>>17538865
It's not so much about losing virginity as it is being in a relationship with someone. Losing virginity is just one of the byproducts. You're gonna fuck up your first relationship because its a trial & error process and you learn a lot of things about being with another person--shit you never even thought you had to think about. You also learn a lot about yourself and become more mature in the process. "Losing your virginity" doesn't mean jack shit but understanding how relationships ACTUALLY work instead of the bullshit you see in movies/shows means A LOT. You don't want to meet someone you really want to be with and fuck it up because you were acting like a god damn child about something. Like-wise you don't want to end up falling blindly in love with any girl that gives you the first sign of sex.

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>>17538806
What if hurting people makes me happy?

>>17538919

a few notes:

first and foremost, that isn't a list of reasons why you dont want to have sex, but rather a list of reasons its hard to have sex. and while you can say the fact that its hard makes you not want it, thats BS. you still want sex, you're just insisting its this massive challenge.

the only reason you've listed why not to want sex is that it conflicts with your goals, but that itself is also BS.

mostly because
>i fifgure I'd be expending too much time and energy on increasing my sex appeal compared to the normal man and its just not worth it

is the dumbest fucking shit i ever heard. I'm not even sure where to begin with this so I'm going to break it up into two categories.

1) increasing sex appeal takes time, but it takes virtually no energy. and by time, i mean that it takes a period of time, but does not effect your day to day that much.

you still get haircuts, right? well the difference here is you try different haircuts til you find the one that best suits you.

you shower right? well the difference here is that you use special products to help clear that acne.

you eat right? well the difference here is that you eat lighter foods in order to lose weight.

these things dont effect your daily schedule by more then a micro smidgen but take a longer period of itme to see the effects come to fruition.

at worst, you are losing 45 minutes every other day for working out if muscles is the route you are going. if you can't afford three hours a week for exercise (Which you should be getting regardless of wanting to look good) then sure I'd agree with you.

but ur on 4chan arguing about whether or not to stay a virgin, so if i had to guess you have the time.

which is another interesting thing to add: if you have the time to post on 4chan about shit like this, or post on 4chan at all, you have the fucking time to improve yourself.

but this brings me to my second point...

>>17538936
Then how can say "yeah just go and get a prostitute my dude" if the important part is building a relationship?
You don't need sex to have a relationship, not all relationships are romantic

Don't do anything you don't think will be worth your while OP

>>17538955

2) girls are not homogeneous. each girl is different. you do not need a top tier stacy to have sex. you dont need a top tier stacy to have good sex. you dont need a top tier stacy to have a fulfilling relationship.

there are plenty of less appealing women you will find attractive because of who they are, and they will find you attractive for who you are. lots of fatties date fatties. lots of uggos date uggos. some times they work together on improving themselves, and other times they just enjoy each other for what they are and keep their shirts on during sex.

i can score my ideal girl, and have. but that doesn't mean i felt any emotions for her. even personality wise she was totally my type, but there was no chemistry. whereas i find girls that at first glance i might consider ugly, or at best 'plain' and can fall pretty hard for them just getting to know them over the course of a weekend.

the extremely hot 'perfect' girl had no idea why i left her for the sundamaged brazilian babe. but it all came down to feelings.

i dont even think relationships are important or necessary. im pro single and have been more or less single for four years (With plenty of flings albeit). but to insist that you will give up on something to make yourself feel better about not getting it is pretty dumb

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>>17538801
Don't listen to these normies and their bs advice.
They cannot comprehend the state our kind exists in.
To them, sex and relationships are something that happens naturally, whereas to us, those aspects of life are as alien as beings from other star systems.

>>17538955
>you still get haircuts, right? you shower right? you eat right?

Making changes to those things takes research, trial and error amd decision making
It's stressful
Not everyone is willing to add stress to their life for results that they're not particularly interested in or passionate about and that won't even be that good

>>17538972

>making those changes adds half an hour of research
>its too stressful

whatever makes you feel better. i dont believe you, and lets be real, you don't believe you. but if you can almost convince yourself that 'I JUST DONT HAVE THE TIME FOR SEX' im sure you'll cry less.

>>17538801
I have seen vaginas in person. Some smell pretty bad I must tell you.

>>17538955
>>which is another interesting thing to add: if you have the time to post on 4chan about shit like this, or post on 4chan at all, you have the fucking time to improve yourself.
This is a good point and actually something I thought about right before your post so I'm timing how much I spend on here and other places I spend my time.

Your other advice in this post is good as well but it's mostly stuff I was going to do anyway because I need to be fit, clean and presentable to achieve my goals. What I meant by sex appeal is actually how I come across to women, I'd basically have to overhaul my entire personality to be what women want and I don't want that stress and self-alienation.

However >>17538964 has changed my mind somewhat, if you're right and there's women out there who might find who I am, at my core, attractive then instead of staying a virgin forever I guess I could adopt a mindset of just improving myself for my goals as I said and letting myself into a relationship or whatever else if the opportunity ever shows itself.

My main point is that changing myself so much that I'm a different person is something I don't ever want to spend my time on and it seemed like having sex would require it.

>>17538995
This.
Dicks are better.

>>17538801
Because it's your biological imperative to pass on your genes. If you can't (which a lot of men don't) then you're nothing but a line of shitty genetics.

>>17539013

and thats the healthy mindset there.

self improvement is good, but especially when it comes to personality there is a blurred line between improving yourself, and simply hiding who you are.

and of course, the goals thing isn't just non existent. the reason I was single for four years (save for flings) is cuz a long term comitted relationship doesn't work well with my goals, which are mostly independent filmmaking. its hard to date someone seriously when you'll randomly be filming for two months with no time for a date. and even when not filming i can only afford to do something 'date like' twice a week. which is great for flings but after that, they take up too much time for me to lay down foundation work.

all that aside, you've reached the healthy mindset. self improvement is good, women are not homogeneous so you can definitely just be receptive to the potential of someone liking you for who you are, but you dont have to go out and hunt for a gf (which i find dumb in any circumstance desu).

the only thing id point out is that your goals probably dont need 100% of your time. I'm very dedicated to mine but like i said, i can still manage to have a date like event twice a week, or just hang iwth friends, or even give advice on this board (Though i do it mostly at work).

you dont need to quit going on 4chan.

>>17538801

It isn't. Some people use virginity as a shaming tactic, primarily against men, because it's the only real way you can frame a man's through the opinion "women" as a group of possible partners hold of him.

There's the misconception that having sex means you're a "good enough" person because you've managed to convince someone you're worth laying. This isn't entirely accurate, as there are some entirely garbage people out there that have been laid/have children.

Relationships can be nice to have. If that leads to sex, go nuts. If it doesn't, don't feel like you're any less of a man. In a society which opposes shaming others for promiscuity, shaming for celibacy is hypocritical at best.

>>17538969
>le robots are special snowflakes

Can you please fuck off back to your containment board? /adv/ is for people who actually want to be helped.

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>>17539032
>adv
>offering help
No one here has helpful advice.
It is just a board of self fellating failed normalfags, cunts, and white knights that should get the fuck out of this site.

>>17538977
I'm not OP
And reasearching changes to your lifestyle takes more than half an hour

>>17539040

>changes to your lifestyle

they really dont. cuz they arent life style changes.

switching out noodles for greenbeans is something you learned in five seconds now.

picking out a new haircut while at the barber takes thirty seconds.

accutane takes admittedly like an hour considering the doctor appointment, but if you have god awful acne, its worth it. god forbid you lose an hour you could be using to tlak about how long it takes to learn something.

>>17539047
Accutane is fucking awful dude
Making changes to what you eat and use your body factor things like budgetting and where to shop
One thing is hardly ever just one thing

>>17539057

>buying greenbeans instead of noodles is too much effort
>you'd have to budget and change where you shop

you really dont man.

>accutane is fuckign awful dude

did you take it? two months and im fucking beautiful now.

but sure, just stay the way you are, its sooo much better. never change.

>>17539098
Dude I'm not even OP I already said that

>>17539170

never said you were OP. doesn't make ur logic any less shitty. just cuz you arent OP Doesn't mean you can think whatever the fuck you want.

>>17539192
Yes I can think whatever I want, what the fuck are you saying lol
And me not being OP makes a difference because I'm not the one who is afraid of changing these things, I'm just saying it's a bit more work than your dumbass is making it seem.
When I made changes to my diet I had to alter my budget, change supermarkets, buy some new cooking equipment, find new recipes, do a whole bunch of fucking annoying shit. To this day there are still kinks I'm working out amd researching about so I can implement in a practical way
When I made a big hairstyle change I also had to change how I style it, and with that what products I use, and with that learn new techniques. Also annoying.
Skincare is something that takes a lot of money and alot of research and also it's fickle as hell, you need different strategies for different problems. Also annoying.
Bottom line is, all these things are annoying, to me it was worth the annoyance because it affected something that mattered to me and the results made up for the annoyances
However if someone doesn't feel like these annoyances are worth the result for them then there's really no reason to condescend them into doing it

>>17538824
Thanks saved

>>17539027
OP here, right after I sent my post I had to go to class. Just wanted to say that I appreciate your perspective, helped me get out of that mindset.

Really was planning on just being celibate and now it might be years before I lose my virginity but I'll at least not shy away from the chance to be with someone.

>>17538801
When people insult others for being virgins, those people aren't really insulting them just for not having had sex yet, rather, they're implying that the reason said virgins haven't had sex yet is because they're too awkward and socially incompetent to convince anybody to fuck them freely and without coercion, and that's what they're really being criticised for. Virginity isn't bad in itself, but it can imply things about a person that are bad. If those things apply to you, then, well... no, being a virgin still isn't a problem, but it's a symptom of other problems you have.

If those things don't apply, if you could have sex without paying/using force/etc. but choose not to, then it's probably not an issue, or at least doesn't imply issues with social awkwardness.
Maybe it could imply other issues like fear of intimacy though, which I suppose is really just a milder form of social awkwardness.

>>17538824
>>17538806
>laisez fare faggots
kys

>>17540150
>laisez fare
>can't even spell it right
commit Sudoku

Late twenties virgin here. It fills me with great dread when I think about getting into a relationship this late. Like others have said in this thread: I'm at a serious disadvantage now as I will make those mistakes that will cost me relationships. Women my age expect experience. I'm so scared of ruining a relationship with one or probably only a few women who would risk it on someone like me. I thought of losing someone who might have otherwise been my soul mate just because of my inexperience is crippling. I'm so afraid to love that I can't even say "I love you" to anyone who isn't family.

Fuck me...

>>17540142
>which I suppose is really just a milder form of social awkwardness.
It's a different problem, you could be a Casanova and have a fear of intimacy.

>>17538936
I have close relationships with close friends and that is more than enough for me. Romantic relationships take a lot of work and are hard for me to come by.

The reason I can't get laid is because women don't want to have sex with me. The reason I don't have a girlfriend is because women don't want to be my girlfriend. I don't think I am a bad person, there are a lot of people who seem to like me and care about me to an extent. But being a "good person" has nothing to do with being sexually attractive. The main reason some guys like me can't get laid is because they fail to elicit the response necessary to make women desire them sexually.

Being sexually inactive doesn't inherently mean anything other than you are probably not very sexually attractive. We do not live in a just world where people get laid and pass on their genes for being "good".

You can learn how to become the kind of person people want to fuck or you're just born into an environment that allows it to come to you. Or you can opt out. It doesn't matter.

>>17540534
Holy shit are you me?

>>17538801

Don't let other people pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. If you don't want to have sex, don't, it doesn't make you any different. It's just sex.

Sex is great however and if you do actually want it and are just telling yourself you don't to feel better, you have to admit that and do something about it.

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I wanted to remain a virgin for the following reasons.

No stds
No babies
No drama

But also I had this pride about my happiness being my own, I didn't want to be dependent on anyone else to enjoy my life. In a way its liberating, so many things in life we just have to do, but the world of dating and sex is something you can avoid entirely with very little consequence, yet it makes up a huge chunk of the stress in a lot of people's lives. Of course I'm only human, I feel desire like everyone else, but I just always assume the worst when it comes to girls. I've beaten into my head that no one could ever love me, but in reality its just a defense mechanism to keep me in check. I get a kick out of ignoring girls when I feel them checking me out, dropping their subtle clues to get my attention, I'm pretty much like the aloof anime guys who are too dense to notice willing pussy.

Nowadays at 24 I'm still a virgin, but I'm not as passionate about it as I once was, I guess I've started to legitimately not give a fuck, when before it was kind of a weird act of rebellion.