How do I stop seeing cheating as an inevitability in a relationship?

They may or may not cheat nothing you can do about it...is one way to look at it.

Or the other is to trust your partner and be happy you are in a relationship. That stars aligned for you two to be together and petty thoughts of cheating is nothing more than your insecurity trying to sabotage your relationship.

I struggled with this same issue after I got cheated on in my first relationship. Couldn't even imagine dating anyone again for three years, let alone get serious. Then I met someone I actually feel like I can trust. That's my advice: Don't settle for someone, but find someone you actually feel like you can trust not to cheat on you. Obviously, I'm still a bit paranoid on occasion that it could happen, but of it happens, then it happens and there's nothing I can do about it. I decided to trust him, because I genuinely feel like I can. It's been a relief. I suppose it's a mental process really, stopping being scared and worried all the time.

>>17538366
Surely you are not the only person on this planet who would never cheat. In fact, I know you are not because I am the same, so that's two. Surely there are more. All you need, then, is to find someone like us in this way.

>I don't express or show this insecurity in a relationship, so it isn't negatively effecting it par se,
Yes, it is, because it is affecting you. That's a strain even if your partner can't see it. But it can't be fixed unless both partners can see it, so you need to find a way to express it. That's a delicate matter, but there is no way out that involves keeping it hidden.

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>>17538366
>How do I stop seeing cheating as an inevitability in a relationship

be the supremum of the males.

>>17538366
>I've never even been cheated on
or so you thought kek

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>>17538366

Im actually having the opposite thing to what you are happening, I keep getting the urge to cheat on my gf.

I'd argue in some cases (like mine) its worse, because you feel so guilty about it because you care deep down about hurting your partners feelings. I mean i really do love her, but its just about 10 years too early for me and i want to have other experiences and have some fun.

Though i'd say in 90% of cases, as long as your both somewhat happy on the outside, you will have no worries, and in the 10% like me, its nothing but pure chance, just hope your partner isn't in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong mindset.

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>>17538398
Yeah, when I think of my partner I do trust her, but when I start thinking of relationships more abstractly I feel weird. It's more of a distrust of modern relationships than her, y'know?
>>17538418
gud 1, budi.

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I've been mentally fragile this year and I think, maybe, this is just a way of protecting myself. I need to get over it, tho. As >>17538413 says, it's effecting me negatively and will likely come out in my behaviour soon.

Gotta be a lil' less afraid.

>>17538398
>They may or may not cheat nothing you can do about it...is one way to look at it.
>Or the other is to trust your partner and be happy you are in a relationship. That stars aligned for you two to be together and petty thoughts of cheating is nothing more than your insecurity trying to sabotage your relationship.
Exactly that.

I learned the hard way jealousy serves no purpose other than hurting yourself : someone who really wants to cheat will do it and you'll know what that person is worth then.
Your relationship is great, just enjoy it, I hope for you it will last.