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Pretty recently my girlfriend ended things with me. I'm starting to deal with it alright now - I think. This was my first 'serious' relationship, and I was gonna marry her. I supported her through so much, so so very much. I gave up an amazing job in an amazing city and moved to be closer to her. We both knew I was basically going to be starting from scratch. Car died, moving back to no job, had to move back in with abusive parents, but I did it for us. And then she decided she couldn't handle it. The one time I needed the support in our year and a half, and she ran off.
The things she said during the breakup and after though, that's killing me. I spent the past 3 years going from absolutely no confidence, to having a normal amount. But the stuff she said, that destroyed it all. Everything I thought was good in the relationship, she suddenly hated. Everything about me, I'm finding out is awful. I spent 23 years thinking I was unlovable, and she changed that, and then she changed it back in a single night.
Before I met her, I really had no standards, and it was damn near impossible for me to find anyone interested. I tried, I tried so hard, and nothing ever came of it. I met my ex from an anomaly, something that had never happened to me before her, and very very unlikely to ever happen again.
In the past year and a half that we were together, with time and confidence gain, in addition to being with her, I found out what I do and don't like in other people. Now that I actually have stuff that I would like to look for, I don't see myself ever finding someone. Before her, I never wanted to get married or have kids, so I was contempt with spending my life solo. She changed my opinions on that, and now I don't want that solo life, but I think I'm doomed to it, and that terrifies me.
I'm not really sure what advice I'm after. I guess I just finally need someone to talk to it about.
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It'll happen for you, anon. Dont give up, dont lose hope. You deserve better than her. I believe you'll find that, some day.
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Only way you can go is up now anon. Focus on improving yourself slightly everyday, even if its bullshit like getting a haircut or buying a new shirt. Little pleasures.
Embrace the pain as fuel to help you get to that better place in life. As painful as things WILL get, take solace in knowing that where ever you end up, there is a version of yourself that is even happier than he's ever been. Cheers
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>golddigging whore changes her mind once you are of cash
who would have thought
stop "supporting" women, youll have plenty of time to do that once they give you babies
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Find yourself. Find how to love you and enjoy your life.
I had a girl like this back in highschool. We seemed perfect, we made each other so much better. I felt like we started as two people missing parts and we grew into two stronger and full people with the help of each other.
A perfect first and powerful love. I was going to graduate and get a good job, then marry her.
It didn't work out that way.
I still think of her almost everyday, 10+ years later (old fag on 4chan oh no)
I'm happy now. I'm married to a woman I don't love nearly as much and sometimes wish I was just single, but I love myself and I am happy.
Thinking of what could have been still hurts and I don't think it will ever stop. That's why you have to be able to be happy alone, even with someone new. You have to love yourself more then you loved her or the memories will destroy you.
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I lived something similar with my first gf.
We were together for almost 4 years, at first she felt lucky to have me, but then she got used to it and when we broke up she basically said that was because I was a shitty guy and could not please her in any way.
Now I won't say she exactly regrets me but she can't find any decent man and realise even broke manlets are not interested by her and I have many opportunities and a cute and smart gf.
I did a lot of work on myself meanwhile though and it helped a lot.
Pretend she was right to say the things she said and start becoming better. It'll take a few years but will be worth it.
Also the last time I talked with her like 2 years ago I was really mean and I think/hope she cried after that.
The next time I'll make sure she knows my gf and I are really happy together.
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