I'm in hell : do I get to be with every woman I want while

You take he median approach. Sleep around, meet plenty of women and then marry once you feel you had your fair share.

Well, it depends on what you value.

As for me, I have a pretty low sex drive, and my wife is pretty awesome in a lot of ways, so it's a no-brainer. I fantasize about other women, sure, but I'm perfectly content just to fap to them and have sex only with my wife.

>>17535371
Yeah I should have done that providing I had not had a huge lack of confidence for years, because of a crappy youth.

When I began to feel confident and to like myself, I started to meet women but it soon became serious relationships so in the end I did not sleep with that many women because I never cheated.
And it's ALWAYS when you're in a couple that you have the most females wanting you...

>>17535384
That's a good approach. I have substantial sex needs but no frustration with my wife.
I've fapped to other women often, but when I think about all these occasions I'm still missing year after year, I feel so down... that's the story of my life, I feel like a looser because of this and I want that to end. That's also the story which led me to my wife...
And sometimes a woman goea further than just a look or a smile and it becomes so hard to resist... But I don't want to hurt my wife who's so great to me. I'm sexually satisfied but still I want other women. Why?

>>17535366
Not to be that asshole but...

>omg women are cheating whores this is why dovorce rates are so high

>>17535496
Do you think a lot more poeple than we know do cheat? Sometime I whish I could be invisible or have lots of money to spend on privates to investigate some couples I know and have doubt about...

>>17535507
I don't think cheating should be investigsted as a cause. It's likely a symptom to bad matches and laziness.

A good pairing and hard work are what make a great relationship. Without one it's doomed to fail no matter how strong the other is.

With all the options of the modern age people aren't dependent on each other as much, which means there's no reason to out as much work into a relationship with a few problems.

But the issue becomes that this leads to relationship apathy where people just passively wait for their soul mate, a perfect match that will require minimal work on their end.

>>17535507
40-60%of the people cheat and those are self admited so the rate is higher.

>>17535530
Nice analysis.

>>17535541
Seems to depend on the country, it's ranging from 30 to 70%... But how is this data collected exactly, on what % of the population, what kind of poeple, etc.

>>17535821
I agree and I have seen some swings in numbers but 30% is the most consistent number, which is still a huge fucking percentage.

>>17535877
Considering it may even be more... The truth is we'll never really know but that's a glimpse of the truth.
The question is : has it risen through time or not? Was it different 1 or 2 generations ago? another hard to answer question

>>17535366
Chances are, your wife's cucking you anyway.
You'll get to see that first hand when she gives birth to a wonderful black baby.

So, cuck the bitch back.
The thing is though, no matter how much you cuck her, you'll still have to pay alimony for her nigglet spawns.

>>17535895
Probably the same, because although we have more opportunities now we have less time in hands so there is a balance, i guess.

>>17535906
Adding to that, nowadays the number of partners you cheated with may be bigger but with a lesser duration.
I'm just assuming things here, though.

>>17535906
Yeah, I guess too. And they also had less way of finding back then (social networks, phones, etc).

Did someone ever had an affair which was never discovered and everyone stays with their spouse and are happy like that?

>>17535928
I mean, a cheater doesn't care much about the partner's happiness and you can't be unhappy about something you don't know about, so yes.
Ignorance is bliss is often used as an excuse by both parties.

>>17535928
Nah, even if they stay together and no one says anything, the other partner knows.

Op is just a selfish shit who should have thought of this before he got married.

>>17535965
And if it happened only one time, with someone you'll never see again?

Better live fully by your standards and hurt poeple or not hurt anyone and don't have the feeling to live fully?
I always did the second choice. It's good for others but a little frustrating for me.

I think it's possible to love more than one person or to be happy with your wife and go fuck another from time to time, for the spice, the thrill, the novelty that keeps your mind young.
Some poeple and religions can't understand, but you can care about your wife a lot, and not wanting to hurt her, so doing what you need without her knowing is the best, if you're gonna do it.

>>17535965
Seems like you would like to have your share but are preventing yourself to do it, and now you're going sour, trying to convince yourself you did good. But deep down you feel that lack...

This is the shit that you consider BEFORE you get married.

Having said that, you might find her wonderful and sexy, but if you are seriously wondering whether FOMO is worth leaving your wife then you can't love her much. I can still imagine falling madly in love with someone else, but choosing random pussy over what you have together...?

It might be worth to consider whether she still wanted to be with you if she knew this was a serious option for you, though. Perhaps it is better for both of you to be without the other one, and if you happen to regret it deeply it might steer you towards making a real commitment next time.

>>17536163
If you know that you need this in a relationship there is no excuse to not seek out someone who is also not looking for monogamy, or who wants to be "monogamish" and have an occasional fling to spice things up.

It is not just physical betrayal to sleep with someone else, you are also giving the finger to her commitment to being loyal to you and only you, and lying by omission about your desires, what is actually going on in the relationship and so on.

>>17536169
Seems like you are trying to convince yourself that you are not scum.

>>17536188
Leaving her is not an option. More wondering if I should take what comes behind her back to live my life fully or not because don't want to hurt or loose her. Yeah the answer is obvious...

The irony is I nerver asked myself that question before, only now that I'm finally in a good relationship I do... Maybe because this time I know this relation can easily last a lifetime.

>>17536214
>It is not just physical betrayal to sleep with someone else, you are also giving the finger to her commitment to being loyal to you and only you, and lying by omission about your desires, what is actually going on in the relationship and so on.

That is the worst part. Sleeping is nothing, lying an deceiving and letting the other believe you are as loyal as her is horrible and you will hate yourself for that.

>>17536243
Not to mention the humiliation if they ever do find it out. Wondering whether you ever kissed him good night while he had his face buried in another woman's snatch earlier that day. Wondering whether any of your shared friends knew or suspected and covered for him. Wondering whether he compared bodies and sexual skills and took note that she could do certain things better than the woman who loved him enough to devote her life to him.

Fuck these apologizers. Life's messy and shit happens but that doesn't change that cheating is a cruel thing to do.

If you don't cheat out of problem with the spouse, then you cheat out of selfishness.

The only good solution is a threesome. If impossible, ferget it or break up to do what you want or asked your gf if she'd be ok if you both did your things on the side (which can be very dangerous)

>>17535366
> having sex with her a lot

Think of all the poor fucks who are in sexless marriages.

You think you've got a problem? Man up and go see the real world, sunshine.

>>17536290
>Think of all the poor fucks who are in sexless marriages.
Fuck yeah

>>17536231
You regard honoring your marriage vows as "not living life fully"? yeah, then you absolutely shouldn't have married her.

You honestly baffle me, I mean, the flesh is weak and what not, I can empathize with someone fucking up in the heat of the moment. But you are sitting her presumably sober and coldly evaluating whether it is worth breaking your vows and potentially breaking her heart for the concept of random pussy itself. That's pretty fucking low.

Obviously you're going to do what you're going to do, but do you really think that if you conclude today that it's not worth it, the thought won't pop up again in a month? Or a year? Or ten years?
What would you want her to do in your shoes? If the answer is going behind your back, maybe it's worth taking the risk and trying to test the waters and see if a non-monogamous relationship might be in the cards. Not all of them are simply open in the multiple relationships sense, some partners have a don't ask don't tell and no STDs policy. Or the other way around, you can have a one night stand if you ask permission and never take their contact info so it is literally just one night of sex with a stranger.
But somehow I feel like you're another one of those who feels it would shatter your soul if she got dicked by someone else, but you fucking around on her is not remotely the same thing.

I really have to leave this fucking website. Good luck with your issue.

>>17536301
>But somehow I feel like you're another one of those who feels it would shatter your soul if she got dicked by someone else, but you fucking around on her is not remotely the same thing.

Actually, the fact itself of her fucking another is not the problem, but I would fear that she began to find some things better with another.
And the same applies to me : what if I cross the line and then becomes too attached...

Too risky, too much shit impending... And as said up here, I have all the sex I want with her, we have no taboo between us and it's just great.
What's gotten into me? I'm so stupid.

Well I know what's gotten into me : the women wanting me and making it clear. Otherwise I never would have thought about doing it, I would just have kept watching like everybody and put that sexual tension into sex with my wife.
And I think that's what I'm going to do.

Thanks for helping clearing my head guys!

I was you.
Cut to end of the story.
My wife divorced me.
I dated a few really hot women.
But I had a common problem.
Their beauty was only skin deep (no surprise).

I took really hot women to bed and was completely bored.
I had convinced myself to want features that wasn't better.
No feature (shape, color, size, etc) made the sex more amazing.
I had focused on things I didn't have instead of enjoying the things I did.
Incorrectly linking things to sexual gratification messes you up badly.
Sex drive is very strong and you end up overpaying for stuff that is worthless.
You sleep around thinking, the next girl will be better.
That fat ass, big tits, small waist, etc doesn't actually make the sex better.
What makes it the best is when she wants you as much as you want her.

Your sex drive changes over time and you need to work to keep it strong.
Don't watch porn by yourself, don't fap, talk about what you both like and keep it interesting.
I tried all my fantasies with my current gf and discovered there are a few she likes too
but most of them neither of us like on a regular basis.

Porn is a business. They need to make it shocking to fight boredom and beat the competition
but they show contrived acts that are not really sexually gratifying. They are acting.
You are going to be really disappointed when you try them and realize they are
not what they seem on the video. It is kind of messed up when it affects your relationships
and you were duped.

>>17536479
Thanks for your story, man. It puts things back in their places.