How do I stop longing for companionship? I'm serious, trying

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>>17530522
>I'm autistic, if that helps.
It does the opposite and is probably your biggest problem

>"don't force it brah just B urself it'll come to you"
But this is how the majority of people find their partners. You can't get mad at the for speaking the truth.

post a pic pls

ok, try finding people with similar interests? I know this might not always help, opposites can attract, but it's a start. Join some clubs, keep yourself occupied. I'm trying to do the same.
Not to mention I'm in the same boat as you. Except i'm not autistic.

>>17530584
>opposites can attract
But they don't last.

>>17530587
True..But he could gain a little bit of experience to learn from.

>>17530597
OP doesn't want 'experience to learn from,' he wants companionship. Failed relationships are going to make him even more lonely.

>>17530603
Well, I can't argue with that. I'm out of ideas.

>>17530584
I don't have very common interests (I like gardening, that's about it) that people generally are interested in. The last time I hung out with a woman I liked she ended up making me not smile in a picture she took with me because she thought my smile was "ugly".

I just want to stop feeling like a piece of shit about this. Im trying to not care about this and just keep on working but my mind says no.

>>17530608
Damn. That's pretty harsh.
Are you in college or high school? You should join a horticulture club or something to do with botany. If you can't find anyone to start a romantic relationship with, at least you could be surrounded by other people that share your interest. Maybe then you won't feel so out of place?

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The only reason you care for female companionship is because western media, community, and society has conditioned you to think so. You want to stop caring? Cut yourself off from that. Cut down on watching movies, tv, even particular video games if you're into that. Walking down the street and see some lovey dovey couple? Avert your gaze. Drown yourself in things that don't have that relationship undertone.

You're recieving too many signals from your everyday life of wanting romantic companionship which is making you feel like a piece of shit. I don't blame you. The media conditions us from an early age with relentless ads for having some sort of confidant (usually romantic on some level). It might be too late for you but you can sure as hell try.

You want to achieve a level of apathy but you're too busy giving a shit to not give a shit.

>>17530624
What stupidly unrealistic advice

>>17530619
I don't go to college, I feel as if I'm not bright enough or ready enough for the experience. I have a few friends I talk to and I like to go to social events when I have time off, but I feel like when it comes to women in interested in, they're aggressively judging me every second and i always fail the test.

This sounds really odd but I seem to get paired up with, and I'm most attracted to type A women that are quite independent. They analyze me and they always run me through the same questions and disappointed remarks "oh... You don't drive? Oh... You haven't had a girlfriend yet?" . They always ask and I'm a terrible liar, so I just say I haven't been with a woman that things have clicked with yet.

I mostly have terrible anxiety, fear, and get put down a lot from women I try to do anything more than be friends with and I have no idea why I want to keep making myself live through these situations.

>>17530624
I find your world view irresponsible and incompatible with my way of life.

I do care. I wish more people DID care. I like strolling and looking at the trees. I like trimming a lemon tree. I like watching a lake shimmer at dawn but I also care about others, and I wish others did so more as well. I don't like to wish bad on many people, and all I want to do in this life is make people happy and hopefully make myself happy one day.

You have an extremely pessimistic world view.

>>17530630
how is it stupidly unrealistic? We give this guy advice and he may or may not decide to act. It's not easy to combat societal norms but it is possible. If you can do it, you're content with being alone. There isn't some magic recipe to appear more attractive or become appealing to females. It's all a matter of perspective.

>>17530641
>don't consume media
>walk around with your head down in public
Yeah, that's totally not going to alienate him further.

>>17530640
To add, I'm not trying to reach apathy here. I'm trying to suppress an urge because in the end all it does is make me feel bad. I'm trying to not be an ass to anyone and I'm not going to blame media or society for my feelings or failures. I've been trying to accept that maybe I'm just a loser in this whole love game but I still am not trying to be some isolationist dickwad.

Would it be possible to get more serious answers here? I've gotten some silly responses and few actually giving advice based on my question. Are these types of threads harder or less relatable to respond to "cheated on gf wat do" type threads or something?

>>17530643
The point is he wants to stop longing for companionship. I proposed that he follow the 3rd budhist truth, naroda or whatever it's called. He's unhappy because he has expectations. You want to achieve nirvana? Ditch your expectations. Learn to love solitude and you'll be happy.

>>17530640
I'm not saying you should leave your emotions behind in the dirt.
>"how do i stop longing for companionship"
You're sad because you're longing for it.

And this world doesn't work in karma.
>If i do this and this for myself and other people and exist peacefully and maybe even contributing to my community, I'll get this in return.
You may be the greatest lemon tree trimmer in the world and you'll never find a companion. We aren't all born equal at everything. I'm a shitty cook and artist but I'm also damn good at running long distances.

You want to be happier? Devote yourself to lemon tree trimming or whatever it is you enjoy doing. Leave your aspirations behind.

Is my view pessimistic? Sure. But this world isn't as great or as caring as you think it is. Keep trying and maybe you'll succeed and from the bottom of my heart, I hope you do anon.

>>17530683
I'm okay with solitude, but I also don't want to be alone forever. I do not thrive as a recluse, although many may. Plus, I interact with about 50-100 people a day at work. I actually enjoy the company of others, despite being a little awkward and not the best at conversation.

>Buddhist
More like bullshit. I've never gotten any of these spiritual, religious, or otherwise philosophical points of view. They've never connected with me much. The only ones that have are people telling you to be yourself and it's OK to not always be happy and the Lord isn't going to magically save you. Even as a child I didn't like these belief systems and relied on my own self made beliefs. Sorry friend.

>>17530719
And I'm not saying I'll get much in return, but I'd like to be a net positive to my community. I want to be productive, make other's days better, and just simply find a coping method for one of my weaknesses.

>>17530731
You could try a mix of >>17530584 and >>17530624. Spend less time consuming media and more time trying out new hobbies that force you to interact with people.

>>17530624 is a tad exaggerating but they're right when they say a large part of why we feel relationships are so important is because it's a belief that's reinforced everywhere, and especially in media because they're about wish fulfillment.

>>17530770
I believe a more logical reason is that humans are designed to mate, and especially mate in mostly monogamous pairs, so therefore during my prime breeding age, my brain is telling to me find a mate.

But i am focused on work and my hobbies. I don't take a good deal of enjoyment out of them but I still do them to pass the time. Again, I'm just trying to suppress an urge, like some Try (and successfully) suppress their libido.

>>17530786
Some antidepressants lower your libido, maybe you should look into that.

>>17530792
>>17530792
I'm not looking to lower my already meh libido. I'm looking for ways to lower my want for romantic companionship. Sex plays a very small (but biologically crucial) part in this. I was just using that as an example.

Plus I was on antidepressants most of my early teen years. They suck. No more head meds for me.

>>17530814
>lower my want for romantic companionship
That's not really something you can mechanically control. If you're serious about this, you need to find some other purpose to your life that makes it okay to stay single. It's a matter of focusing on other things, developping a strong sense of self and finding meaning. None of this has advice that's appliable to everyone.

>>17530836
So..... I now can't live an otherwise normal life because I'm a failure in one aspect? This is utterly silly. I'm a laborer that frequently works with customers and I generally enjoy the presence of other people. I also hobby jump here and there. Therefore this somehow disqualifies me from trying to numb a certain itch?

>>17530862
>Therefore this somehow disqualifies me from trying to numb a certain itch?
Jesus Christ, do you want to "stop longing for companionship" or not? Just do whatever you want, but there's no magic pill that will make you stop wanting it. It's a matter of what priorities you assign in your life and it takes time and character to shift them enough that you successfully stop giving a fuck.

If you do want companionship, or want to feel less unattractive, then you have to work at it, not try to bury your head in the sand.

>>17530862
Learn to stop caring about social norms which make you feel bad about what you want out of life. You don't want a partner, stop trying to fit in with those who think having a partner is important (>99% normies). I'm non romantic asexual and I only spend time and emotional energy on those who accept me as I am. If it means I only have 1 friend at any given time and only talk to my family a few times a year then so be it. If the loneliness becomes too much then you can widen your social circle at the cost of having to pretend to like things you don't like.

>>17530893
Problem is that I DO like people, and I do want a relationship but I'm hardly anyone's top choice to choose from. I'm just trying to accept that even if I want a companionship, it may not happen soon, if ever, due to me being an inferior pick.

What I'm being recommended is to focus entirely on a hobby an isolate myself and live some Buddhist retarded bullshit. I'm just trying to cope with and not feel like shit when I'm reminded of my status and long for more.

no one of you mentioned lifting, you pathetic faggots. this is what you get when you ask for advice from women, OP. shedding 20 kilos has done fuck loads for my general state and quality of life and I wasn't even in shape, it just gave me that confidence boost in needed. I'm trying to gather the energy to start again my journey and lose 15 kilos to really get in shape this time. go to /fit/, read everything you can and in 6 months you'll feel better, a lot better. if you keep it up for a year you'll actually be attractive.

>>17530890
>If you do want companionship, or want to feel less unattractive, then you have to work at it, not try to bury your head in the sand.
Why should I work at it when people who are naturally attractive don't have to? That's pathetic.

>>17530901
Alright. Every time you have a thought related to romance, sex or companionship, you're going to repeat 15 times in our head "I'm unwanted and unlovable, there's no hope for me." That ought to make you fatalistic enough, which is apparently what you want.

>>17530926
No, I do market myself, and have tried getting into relationships before but I've never been successful at achieving that. I'm just saying I know I'm disadvantaged but I'm just trying to find a way to not have my heart sink when these thoughts enter my mind.

>>17530911
I worked out for a while but it didn't make me feel good. I do a decent amount of cardio per day (5-10 miles walking) and I do my basic push ups, planks etc, but they don't make me feel particularly well. I've lost 70 pounds since I was 17, actually. Im not even chubby anymore.

I just couldn't get working out. Sure, it's nice to have strength gains and whatnot, but I didn't feel as good as everyone said I would be after working out.

>>17530911
Pathetic. He will be working out, but someone who is tall and attractive will will be better than him. It's pathetic compensating.

>>17530943
Maybe you had too high expectations, but have you ever thought how much more miserable you would've been if you hadn't lost the weight?

>>17530953
it's not about competing with Chads, fucktard.

Op. Get yourself a hooker. Have sex. Do it 2 or 3 times. Just so you know what you're missing with sex and how not a huge deal it is. You don't need a woman for companionship, a dog will do for that.

If you insist on attracting women conventionally, start with therapy for your autism. Also start hitting the gym. The exercise will slowly help with your physical appearance, but it will also help the mental issues (insecurity, anxiety).

Next learn to be laid back. Not so much that you're passive, but enough that you can take a little teasing and laugh at your own shortcomings. Don't criticize women for their logical inconsistencies, it's a feature, not a bug. Learn to shut up when you disagree and how to pick your fights based on what's important.

I dunno man, think you'd do best just being a wizard.

welp op i dont know why ur so down about getting rejected i was rejected last night but thats cuz i was hammered being straight up, but she was 43 and im only 21 and she said i was too young. no im not i said but still didnt get the pussy.