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Relationship/borderline advice, please!
B - borderline girl
X - young man
B and X were in relationship, they now have a break.
X has a hard time in his life atm. B phones X, and a conversation begins:
B: hey, sup, how do you feel?
X: hello, not feeling too good, and you?
B: oh, I'm great, visited a friend, she gave me a huge bag of strawberries, coming back home
X: nice, I know how much you love them, if you are near your home let's meet, I'm at [a place nearby A's home] atm
B: I don't know if it is possible, gotta wake up early tommorow
X: it is a matter of 30 minutes, come on!
B: <shouting, angry tone> what the fuck? I phoned you with good intentions just to ask if you are okay and you demand a meeting? go fuck yourself if you feel bad <hangs up>
Text messaging begins:
X: Seriously? "Go fuck yourself if you feel bad" ?
B: Oh, I wanted to say that if you don't simply want to talk on the phone and you insist on a meeting telling me it won't take long.. then I don't see a reason to talk. I just phoned for a moment to ask if you are ok. I lost my temper.
X: You suddenly start shouting "go fuck yourself if you feel bad" and hang up, and you don't even apologize. Seriously, reconsider it, because you really fucked up, that behaviour is unacceptable.
B: Wtf? What for?
B: <splitting and playing victim intensifies, suddenly without any foul language: 4 message wall of text filled up with absolute madness, projections, blame-game, literally INVERTED REALITY and portraying X as most evil person known to mankind and the sole source of all her pain, portraying B (herself) as a flawless angel that is without any fault, that is very helpful, empathetic, loving and perceived very positively by literally everyone, an angel which is tired with X's bullshit and feels humiliated, attacked, and destroyed by X>
X loves B; how should X respond/react to B's defense-mechanism wall of text to invoke therapeutic feeling of guilt and to make her apologize and interested again?
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Sorry that's happening to you. Coming from a person just like B.
You better stay away from all that and find a person who can appreciate you.
Best of luck anon
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The only advice here is to move. the fuck. on. This is the BAD kind of crazy. I bet this girl has no idea she's even doing anything wrong and even if you were able to convince her when she's in a moment of clarity, she'll just forget again when she snaps back into that altered state of mind. My brother dated a girl just like this and shit got so bad she attacked him with a knife while he was holding their infant daughter in his arms, trying to protect her. She was arrested, jailed, protection order, and now he's a single father.
bail out now, while she's not pregnant.
FLY YOU FOOL, FLY
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Cut contact with her, she could be dangerous and obviously has a horrid temper and is delusional. Bail before it's too late, for your safety.
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>>17526798
Borderlines are always a fuck that situation.
They may not be bad people. They may at times seem worth loving.
But they have no emotional control. If you feel a minor annoyance, they'll spin that into a fucking heaven breaking anger.
The otherside is deceiving as well. Do this one thing for them and they'll suck your dick. It makes it seem like they love you so much.
The answer is that neither is right. They neither love you or hate you. They're just a pendulum swinging back and forth and you can never stop it.
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I know it's not a good idea to continue this, but I still want to try - I understand that I am insane just for the fact that I'm not running the fuck away.
Thank you for your input and support guys!
I still would like to receive tips how to win this push-pull game.
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>>17526980
You will lose in time.
I know you feel like a pool of water to a hot sword.
You feel like you can quench her madness and make her right.
You can't. You never will.
Leave her.
She will try to pull you back but those are like a tick's claws digging in after it feels someone pulling it off a blood vessel
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>>17526798
How many threads do we need where someone is told that being involved with a borderline is a mistake?
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>>17526980
there is no winning it, dude. There is absolutely nothing you will ever be able to do to change her behavior, which has almost nothing to do with what you do or say to her other than to shape the initial form of the anger.
The only way to win is to not play. If you really want to 'win' this shit, you're going to have to be comfortable being an asshole to her. (This is part of what she's looking for with this behavior; she needs someone else to be an asshole so that she can play the victim so she doesn't hate herself so much). If you can toe the line between seeming like an asshole while still caring about her enough to guide her gently to better behaviors and without letting her or what she says affect you emotionally or to react to it or let it affect your work, drinking, etc., because of all the stress... and, well, it's not a good idea.
perks though: fucking other women, don't have to take her out to eat, etc - this is the only time where treating a woman like shit actually works, it's this mental disorder specifically.
don't ask me why I know all this.
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>>17527002
Tell me more, please. What to respond?
I guess you went through this already.
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