Has anyone ever come to you and told you they are depressed and/or

>>17523031
Many people have over the years. Most are doing better. People are usually suicidal for a relatively short period. Hence why it's a bad idea to kill yourself.

>>17523061
But what changed between you?
Specially with the first person to tell you.

>>17523153
Nothing, it's not like it came out of the blue. Usually you know for a while already someone isn't doing fine.

Bumping for more experiences

I usually have to be the one to share it first.

It's kind of a stupid because there's always a give-and-take and I'm usually the one taking but I guess I try to cheer them up in my own shitty mutualistic way.

Nothing changes because this is how I make friends. But I probably take it easier on them and again, I have my own ways of trying to help them indirectly. I get the vibe that if they wanted to talk about it they would and I don't want to make them feel worse.

>>17523031
>Depressed

Yes, but I (correctly) passed it off as attention-seeking.

>>17523031
my ex, but (surprise, surprise) it was just a manipulation tactic

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yeah it's happened. i don't remember how i acted. probably told them to stop being bitches about everything and to shut up and get to being productive again. because that's the only way to fight it, really.

my friends that did commit suicide didn't threaten it. just gave weird hints i didn't think about until it was too late.

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>>17523031
Hasn't happened to me, but I do have a related experience, i.e. telling someone (various people, actually) that I was depressed and suicidal. The depression started in around 6th or 7th grade, gradually got worse, eventually I was at the point where I either wanted to kill myself or was utterly apathetic towards my own existence. Not a fun state to be in.

I have some teacher friends who are quite a bit older than me (several decades older) who I met while I was in high school (ironically I never actually had either of them as teachers). They're married. Somewhat irrelevant, but thought I should include that to avoid any potential confusion. Before getting to know them, I had absolutely no support network. None. My family was, and continues to be, drastically different from me in terms of values, personality, etc. It's manageable now because I'm apathetic in a much different way (more on this later), but at the time it prevented me from going to them for any useful help for quite some time.

I relied on my two teacher friends for a few months, but there was only so much they could do, due to being incredibly busy and also not therapists and/or legal guardians who could've brought me to a therapist. During a particularly awful suicidal episode (one during which I had both ideation *and* intent, a rare combo for me), I broke down in front of my mom and told her everything, as honestly as I could. She essentially dismissed it and told me that I wasn't depressed because I had no clinical diagnosis. She then proceeded to be even more of a narcissist by saying "how do you I'm not depressed?" and starting to scream at me about how much she does for this family and how underappreciated she is. Given, a lot of this was probably not literal and just her particular way of expressing some sort of need at the time, and I can only imagine how difficult of an experience it must be to have someone you love tell you they're suicidal. Anyway, I digress.

Cont.?

>>17523705
Yes please go on.

>>17523705

After this, events sort of stagnated for a few months. I continued to be periodically depressed, my grades suffered terribly, my mental health got exponentially worse as I began to ruminate more and more, and eventually this culminated in me experiencing some pretty intense DPD symptoms; for people who are unfamiliar with DPD, it’s a personality disorder which causes patients to be incredibly detached from the world and feel consistently dissociated. That’s a bit of a clinical definition; I’ll try to describe it better so as to show you what it’s like instead of just telling you. Warning: potentially sappy poetic attempts at describing my really weird experiences coming up.

Grey. That’s the first word that immediately pops into my mind when I think of my time spent with DPD. Grey, spelled specifically that way, with an ‘e’. I just feel it better expresses the sort of hoariness, the canitude that descends over the entirety of reality when you’re dealing with DPD. Ironically, the next word that immediately comes to my mind is ‘lurid’. It’s sort of a unique balance between these two things. There’s certainly a visual component to it, i.e. your vision becomes this interesting landscape of the most bland and draining greys being contrasted by incredibly intense and lurid, bright neons. For me, traffic lights really exacerbated this. Weirdly specific, I know, but any time I saw a traffic light, that intense, unnatural color would remind me of some very depressing aspect of society that I can’t quite articulate. Just going to interject here, a lot of this description might sound like insane ramblings, because that’s pretty much exactly what it is, or at the very least, a description of memories of a time when I was “insane”. Basically, there was a strong contrast between most things seeming incredibly vapid and fake and unrealistic and a few select things seeming, relative to the rest of the world, unbelievably, overly realistic.

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>>17523744

As previously mentioned, traffic lights really seemed to intensify and/or trigger this state, which almost lead to a few car accidents. I ran quite a few red lights without even noticing. Not even yellow-turned-reds. Just solid reds. In retrospect, I was insanely lucky. I was also a new driver at the time.

After a decent amount of time, I had a natural upward swing, following the periodic/cyclic nature of my depression (not bipolar, btw; lacks manic/hypomanic cycles). This led me to try to take action. Once again, I confront my parents, both of them this time, about my depression. Again, brushed off. Very difficult experience to go through. I fall into a bit more depression again, although not as bad as previously. One day, I get into a violent confrontation with my father, which leads me to leave my home on-foot and be picked up by my mother, who proceeds to talk to me for about an hour, and I again express my need for therapy, medication, any kind of help at all. It’s difficult, and it takes them months, but it happened.

I was insanely lucky to have found both a great therapist and an excellent combo of meds on my first try. For those interested, I use a low dose of fluoxetine combined with 200mg of modafinil. The modafinil adjusts the side effects of the fluoxetine and is also really fucking awesome because it’s basically everything good about cocaine minus everything bad about cocaine. For those of you without that experience, imagine coffee, except way, way stronger, and it lasts way longer, and it doesn’t make you jittery, and it makes your memory better, and basically you feel like a fucking genius 24/7 and get shitloads done.

Obviously, that’s my personal experience, and I’m pretty fucking weird, so don’t go out and get a bunch of modafinil and start taking it for the hell of it because someone on /adv/ made cocaine analogies and talked about how great it is.

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>>17523792

Basically, if this story has a point, it’s that if you even have the slightest reason to believe you’re depressed (because it can be hard to make that decision; it’s like an addict admitting he has a problem), get some help ASAP. The difference between my current self and my self from a few years ago is pretty drastic.

Also, shout-out to /mu/ and /lit/, because they both helped me during tough times, despite the rampant elitism.

Hopefully you got something out of reading that. Thanks for taking the time. I hope it helps some of you :) Feel free to ask any questions.

>>17523799
Damn, you like to write.

Thanks for sharing, it added to my internal conflict but it helped in a way.

Good luck with your stuff, anon.

>"No shit, Sam, you've tried to kill yourself like six fucking times already, we kinda figured, you dumbass."

Yeah, my friend did. And I didn't give a fuck, she is a dramatic bitch. And she's still alive, I'm not giving her the attention she wants

Yes, all the god damn time. Practically every close friend I have has dropped -something- like that on me.

I don't know why people feel the need to tell me that they've been cutting themselves, or that they feel depressed because they were molested as a child, or that they feel worthless and broken, but it's getting really fucking annoying.

The first few times, I was supportive:
>Hey, I'm here if you need to talk. If you just want someone to listen, let me know and I'll be there.
After that, I tried to be constructive:
>You need to fix your mindset, and confront the problem head on. You can't just bottle up these emotions and pretend they're not there.
Sometimes, I just tried to downplay it:
>It's okay, friend. A lot of people feel that way every now and then. Just don't worry too much about it.
Nowadays it's more like:
>You're still suicidal and depressed? Well, that sucks for you.


>How did it go?
I always want to give good, coherent advice, but it seems like people just want to vent and then start bottling everything back up. So they open up, maybe cry a bit, then things go back to "normal". I find it very awkward, personally. It would be much easier if we could talk about our problems dispassionately, but that's just not how we work. So I have to see someone I care about fall to pieces, and then try to put themselves back together.

Thing is, after you see this happen to the same person multiple times, you start to realize that they're not really committed to solving their personal problems.

>What changed?
I would say that perhaps they trust me a bit more. But if I'm honest, I respect them a little bit less each time.

Sometimes something will come up in conversation that I know they're very sensitive about and I will quickly change the subject to spare them some grief.

>>17523799
>if you even have the slightest reason to believe you’re depressed (because it can be hard to make that decision; it’s like an addict admitting he has a problem), get some help ASAP
Ha.

Depression is a part of my life. Sometimes I feel like I'm on top of the world, other times I feel like I've sunk to the bottom of the ocean. It's a cycle that has been repeating for as long as I can remember. Fortunately, I've learned how to ride the waves. My father, grandfather, and myself all have it; but it's part of what makes us who we are. I've accepted suffering as part of existence; something to balance out the pleasure.

Should I run out to a psychiatrist and tell them all of this?

>>17523031

I tell them that it hurts to die but it hurts so much more to live.

Then I tell them about ordering some Chinese jewelry cleaner to take to kill themselves.

If they wanted someone to talk them out of it or a shoulder to cry on, they came to the wrong person.

Yes, my girlfriend. And I brought her to the psych ward to be committed for 72 hrs. Don't regret it one bit.

>>17524115
Yeah you might have type II bipolar disorder

it's cyclical and not "crazy" like type I, which is why some people miss it.

>>17524240
Not the person that you're quoting but what exactly would that do?
>pay upwards to 300e for a compatible psychiatrist for them to diagnose you, put in your recore and spoon feed you 'Mood Stabilizers'
FeelsBadMan

>>17523031
Yes but they just seek attention, when I get depressed I just don't talk to anyone and just generally show no signs of having it. What I really fucking hate are those losers that talk all day unironically about how shit there life is and have literally no other talking topics. They're worse than crap