>going to a store with bf >some fat security guard is standing

He is right.

He's right. Also, that's not what shakedown means.

I can see where he's coming from. If you both did not respond he would probably feel like he looks emasculated, while it doesn't reflect on you so much.

Having said that I should tell you that I would not be happy either in your position. Perhaps you can compromise and tell him that he should keep quiet as long as you tell the guy off personally?

>>17518472
There is no right or wrong, but you shouldn't be upset at him for standing up for you. You should be happy that he's willing to do that because he respects you. You sound like a total pushover.

>>17518487
Stuff like this happens every day, I never respond to it because it's a waste of energy. That day I kept walking, I only noticed he had stopped when I looked back.

>>17518513
I hear you, but I can imagine that he feels like a little bitch if you both do nothing. It's not just about this remark but also about the bigger picture, he probably wants to avoid leaving the impression that anyone can say/do anything at all to you and he'll just stand there like a limp sack of shit.

But I don't agree with >>17518488, the situation ultimatley involves you more than him and if his reaction is embarrassing and overblown to you, I don't see why you'd have to be brimming with gratitude.
Caring for someone is also treating them like they want to be treated, not always necessarily treating them the way you want to treat them. Even if that just entails a different interpretation of being respectful of your partner.

I'd also bet that his anger had way more to do with his girlfriend being hit on without the man caring that he was right there, than that he was convinced you were so hurt by the remark.

Either way, if you'd in theory be willing to tell them off personally (and maybe strike a deal, eg if you blew them off and they still won't leave you alone, he can get involved), that might make things go more smoothly next time.

>>17518472
While I don't understand going off on a fat security guard this incident was likely the final straw. I'm sure he has to see this shit every time he's with you in public and those times he sees you encourage it, yet keeps his mouth shut.

>>17518524
I don't even know if "shakedown" is the right word for it, he just stopped there and stared at the guy dead on, then the guy got a bit shook and said "good afternoon" kinda cowardly and he replied "good afternoon" with a tone like "I could rip your head clean off" or something along those lines and kept walking. He did intimidate him, 'cause on the way out he wasn't even looking in our direction anymore.

But I'm a pacifist and I don't condone this sort of behaviour anyway. Violence never solves anything.

>>17518536
>he just stopped there and stared at the guy dead on
Yeah, that's not even close to a shakedown. You made it sound like he went crazy on the guy. What he did was actually reasonable.

>>17518536
he wasn't violent

>>17518536
Oh, that's not so bad. I went to urbandictionary for an idea and thought he had actually intimidated him (as in, telling him he was going to report him or whatever).
Honestly to me that's kind of in the realm of things you can't tell him not to do. Also you have to keep in mind that given that this man was at his workplace and could so easily be fucked over by your boyfriend, he was blatantly trusting that your boyfriend would not retaliate. That's pretty jarring for some people.

Still I don't disagree with your stance on it, but again it also reflects on him...

>>17518536
Yeah but you're a woman so it's irrelevant what you think about the situation since it's his responsibility to deal with it.
Also if he didn't do anything your pussy would dry right up, no matter what bullshit you're spewing right now.

>>17518536

No violence took place. Your boyfriend simply made it known that it's unacceptable for guys to make disrespectful comments about you. No harm done. It's not like he started a huge fight or something

>>17518550
the threat of violence has thwarted actual violence infinitely more than pacifism has

>>17518544
>>17518546
>>17518547
>>17518548
>>17518550
He wasn't violent but why waste time intimidating someone? What's that gonna solve? And what does that small comment change in our lives?

I know if the guy had said anything else on the way out he'd have gotten into a fight, this is where we differ a lot. My bf had kind of a rough childhood and was never afraid to get into arguments, he told me the first thing his dad told him was how to throw a twisting punch and he cut some kid's forehead with it. He also works out a lot to be strong. I on the other hand find it absolutely ridiculous this need to assert dominance and use force in any way whatsoever. It changes NOTHING.

>>17518569
Because that's what men have to do in order to be respected and attract women.
You'll never understand that so fuck off and stop whining already, he did the right thing.

>>17518569
>I on the other hand find it absolutely ridiculous this need to assert dominance and use force in any way whatsoever. It changes NOTHING.

Yeah, because you're a woman. It's different for guys you retarded whore.

>>17518569
That's all fine and dandy, but as it is he didn't escalate the situation, just responded to it in a way that would not be your choice - and he's not obliged to act exactly as you would yourself. It wasn't a waste of time to him.

>>17518569
>He wasn't violent but why waste time intimidating someone? What's that gonna solve? And what does that small comment change in our lives?
Why waste time fighting over a look that he gave the guy?

>It changes NOTHING.
It's practically harmless, it makes him feel better, and it'll teach the guy not to fuck with people in the future.

You're way too passive.

>>17518472
post pic of your body
otherwise it's just a misunderstanding

>>17518577
>It's different for guys

Nice bit of sexism there.

>>17518569
>And what does that small comment change in our lives?
it change a lot my lady *tips fedora at you.

You see, if he didn't responded, he would be seen as beta, even by you.

You will began thinking less of him, and it will slowly evolve into you thinking he is worthless and that you are more worthless by being with him.
Then, one day, you will leave him and say "is not you, is me!" (when in reality, it was him who created this sense of devaluation) This sounds exaggerated, but i have seen it before on my beta friends.

>>17518569
Holy shit, what a stupid whore.
Stop whining, he did the right thing. Now fuck off and say sorry to him.

the amount of stupid sloots on this board is amazing.

>>17518536
>but I'm a pacifist
You're an idiot and you don't deserve your bf.

If that happened where I live, the customer would speak to the security guards manager and he would possibly get fired. What your bf did was teach him not to do that to customers, and now he will more likely keep his job.

>>17518569
As a fellow woman, I understand where you are coming from. To you, a boundary was pushed by him confronting the guy the way he did. To your bf and other male anons, what he did was the the least confrontational, and "better" way to handle it. What you are doing is trying to understand a boundary that you yourself have never been pushed to, but others meet and surpass on a regular, your boyfriend being a prime example if his back story is to be believed. It may not seem like it solves anything to you, but to your boyfriend he was doing his part to stand up for you in the best way he knew how. If it really is a problem, talk to him about it in a open minded way. Find out how he normally handles stressful, confrontational situations. See if you can compromise on certain things because I garuantee you won't completely change this behavior, in the same way that he won't change yours.

>>17518597
End yourself you stupid whore.

The best move here is if he said, I see you noticed my beautiful girlfriend. She's a keeper. Or something. Fear is immature bullshit

>>17519066
We did have a conversation about it yesterday but we didn't come to an understanding, basically we started talking about working out and the gym and why he felt the need to be strong, and he talked about the times he was pushed over while growing up and couldn't defend himself, and I mentioned the store incident and how I felt this need to be "manly" was ridiculous and he said not every situation can be resolved by talking it through or letting it be and that some people need lessons, that he prefers not to escalate things but also thinks it's important for a man to be imposing and defend himself when the time comes and not let people walk over him.

I don't understand this at all though and it just sounds like sexist old-timey shit his dad taught him.

>>17518472

I'm sorry, but I'm on your man's side on this one. The comment was way the fuck out of line. The guard deserved a tongue lashing and that is what he got. Go apologize to your man; he was protecting you, which is any good man's first order of business.

>>17519159
Did you not know who he was before being his gf?
I agree with the anon that says if he changes you'll drop him.

>>17519023
This. If your boyfriend intimidated this dipshit out of doing stuff like this again, it most likely saved him from future trouble. It's infinitely better to be given a "don't do that or I'll kill you" look than it is to have to explain to your boss why you acted so out of line.

>>17519159

I believe that you are making some critical errors in your analysis over "what he should have done." From the way you write, I am 100% sure that you have never been the target of domestic violence, or rape, and you have never witnessed such acts. There is a certain class of woman, to which you belong, who have the privilege of going through the world with the misguided belief that there is no one out there who is willing to do them harm.

What the security guard did was wrong. You don't do such things as part of your job. Your man had two choices: either get the guy fired, or bark at him until he backed down. He made the right choice. And if you had lived a slightly less protected life than the one you lead, you might be able to see that as well.

>>17518556
this

>tfw no strong bearmode bf to defend you

Why even live

>>17518513
How's your wife's son btw?

>I don't understand this at all though and it just sounds like sexist old-timey shit his dad taught him.

You forgot to call his dad SHITLORD and link your tumblr

The fuck is wrong with women these days? A guy has to protect what he loves and cares about.

Here's a way your narrow minded retard brain can understand how he felt, op.

Let's say your child goes to school, and comes home and says Tyrone was picking on him for being white. Obviously Tyrone is a dumb nigger and you can't beat up a child, but are you going to say "YEAH SWEETIE JUST IGNORE IT EVEN IF HE DOES IT OFTEN NO BIGGIE"

You tell your kid to tell a teacher or clock the fucker if he doesn't shut his mouth. You tell him that because you don't want your kid to be pathetic and get bullied. See all these women complain about cat calling, if you have such a fucking problem with it call the police and say people are verbally harrasing you.

See op what you should have done is given him the stare down and stood up for yourself. Just gonna let people mock you and harrass you right? Just take it like a little baby and get pushed around. Your boyfriend did nothing wrong. He is protecting his possessions he cares dearly about and instead of being grateful you you give him tumblr tier shit.

Shit makes me mad. Fucking stupid women these days call men protecting women fucking sexist

>>17519595
>>17519595
Its not even about being bearmode it's about having a boyfriend that will stand up for you and knock fuckers out if you're in danger. Men these days are cuck pussies and won't fight because muh equality muh morals

Might as well insult my fucking mother so i can knock you on your ass.

And people like op think it's not ok for men to stand up for their girls because its sexist. Yeah that's why animals protect their mates right? Wolves are sexist as fuck, so are gorillas! SHITLORD ANIMALS CANT LET STRONG WOMYN BE STRONG.

If youre cute I'd fuck you just based on your traditional values.

>>17518472
male /k/ommando here (for what its worth)
my two cents...

Regardless of how your bf responded to the situation, dick-guard's remark was unacceptable and someone needed to do something. Your bf stepped up to the plate because he cares for you.
>>17518536
>He did intimidate him,
>I don't condone this sort of behaviour anyway. Violence never solves anything
You might be assuming that your bf asserted himself only to intimidate.
If so, you are overlooking a natural effect of assertion.
By asserting himself, your bf made a number of 'rules' clear to this sec guard:
1) there are general rules of common respect
2) there are consequences for stepping out of line (because if there are no consequences, shit just spreads)
3) i (your bf) will enforce the rules, if necessary

Regardless of whether or not this guard is intimidated (he very well may NOT have been), he has now been reminded by your bf of the first two 'rules'. And also made it clear that 'rule' 3 applies here.

>Violence never solves anything.
Your bf wasn't being violent.
Some people can be reasoned with. Some people won't change unless someone or something PHYSICALLY stops them (this requires assertion, but not necessarily violence) . This is important to consider because men (aka the sec guard), by nature, are generally physical). Imagine a predatory animal. If its prey never offers resistance, why would it ever stop attacking its prey?

Be thankful you are with a man who is willing to enforce rules of common decency, for your sake.
It seems to me that he would do the same for other people as well. This is an admirable trait which encourages order and peace.

>>17519814
Nah man ops boyfriend needs to be a beta cuck and should have asked the security guard if he wants to fuck his gf later Infront of him

Or at least that's what op thinks.

>>17518569

This is how bullies work:

If you stand up to them, and stand your ground, you don't get bullied. They move on to a weaker target.

If you just take it and allow it, if you don't stand up for yourself, you ARE the weaker target. At this point, the bully will harass you and disrespect you just as much as they want.

It absolutely accomplishes something. You saw it happen right there, in the store. The guy treated you with disrespect. Your boyfriend stood up. The guy changed his behavior, and treated both of you more respectfully.

Why do so many women have this naive attitude? This is literally one of the most basic elements of human interaction, it's universal

>>17518597
>men and women are different
>this is somehow sexist

>>17518472
This has to be bait.

>>17519835
Because third wave feminism has brainwashed women to think that men can do no good and trying to help or protect their woman is sexist and degrading.

See:
>>17518597

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>>17519832
i laughed

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>>17519159
How is this hard to understand? You can't let people walk all over you and you need to have enough self-respect to stand up for yourself and your loved ones. Yet all you seem to be able to draw from it is some weird concept of sexism, as if defending yourself or your loved ones from harassment of any kind is some alien thing. If people just let stupid comments like that just fly all the time there would be no respect among the common people.

What you need to understand is not everyone has a stable upbringing in which they know to respect strangers and friends alike, you need to be able to show those people when they cross those lines and disrespect you or your loved ones that this is unacceptable, sometimes that means being imposing or assertive.

>>17518472
He is right, if he didn't do anything your pussy wouldn't get wet for him you'd think he was a beta. He's doing a natural instinct don't be a cunt. Tell him not to get physical with guys cuz he can go to jail but don't get on his ass

>>17518472
Not sure what you mean by shakedown but if he held the guard up by his ankles and shook him and took all his money and possessions that fell out, you should keep dating him because he sounds super cool.

OP what your bf did was way out of the line, I reccomend a guy who will appreciate your requests to fuck other men. The most masculine thing a guy can do is share his girlfriend with other men.

Nobody is right, the guard is just wrong

Him, he stood up to a bully.
He did it for you, himself and everyone that the security guard comes into contact with.
He also kept his cool and resolved it without violence. Well done boyfriend.

>>17518536
Your bf is too good for you. You just accept being disrespected. I hope you get ovarian cancer so you cant reproduce

>>17518472
Wow you are a stupid cunt, please just kill yourself

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>>17518472


Firstly, ignore every single post in this thread. This board is infested with manboys who think constant aggression and demanding respect through ape-like chest pounding is the key to being a man.

It isn't.

Secondly, your boyfriend had a perfectly reasonable reaction to what the man said.

And, let me tell you that your reaction wasn't entirely unreasonable either. Most women are used to men saying unwelcome, off color things and I completely realize that maybe being the source of this fight in a public place and the center of attention probably wasn't very comfortable for you. I get that.

Both of your reactions to this situation, however, is what separates children from adults. If it were me, I would firstly very calmly say to the security guard "I don't appreciate the way you talk about my girlfriend, its disrespectful and I won't stand for it, now you can either apologize to her and I for your rude remark right now or I can go to your supervisor and have him sort this whole thing out."

Granted, this doesn't work 100% of the time but I know better than to hit someone in public because of my hurt ego and then watch him laugh at me while I get hauled away in cuffs and he doesn't.

Mind you, I'm a 35 year old man. My days of sparking up fist fights in public and getting assault charges for the sake of honor are long behind me but that doesn't mean I take anything lying down, it just means I have the patience and maturity to navigate these situations appropriately without feeling the need to be "alpha" just to impress a bunch of fuck-os on the internet.

Long story short, you would rather ignore rude people and your boyfriend doesn't mind confrontation. Thats completely fine, just keep in mind that there is a right and wrong way to navigate these situations.

Thats who he is. Accept it or find a new boyfriend. He is, at the very least, protective. Better that than a man who won't step up for you when you need him.

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>>17520154
KEK CARL OVER HERE

>boyfriend mad he has a girlfriend that other guys wanna fuck

Why are dudes like

not dudes anymore

>>17520550
Literally what a cuck thinks

>>17518472
don't dress like a whore.

If OP was on her own she would just walk away and ignore the rude remark with no need for confrontation. The security guard would look like an idiot yelling into empty space. What's the problem with that?

>>17518536
>He stood up for himself and all you can think about is yourself
Is basically what I can gather from this thread

bumparoo

>>17519159
Lol disrespectful. You're the type to let guys hit on you and not want your bf to do anything about it. You liked when that security guard gave you attention huh?

>>17518569
>why waste time intimidating someone

Because the longer they get away with doing it, the more and more they are going to do it. Eventually, they'll be brazen enough to go for a touch.

Sounds to me like you don't like conflict, period. I mean, he stared that fatass into submission. It's not like he got into his face and laid into him verbally. No, he simply stared at him in a way that the fatass knew he had fucked up.

Just because you choose to ignore it, doesn't mean it's the right thing.

>>17520991
>The security guard would look like an idiot yelling into empty space
what the fuck are you talking about?

>>17518472

No one, this situation sounds retarded.