I'm starting to drink to avoid the pain of being alone.

Supposedly, there's something like some religious cult that picks and chooses who it wants to save called AA that you could try.

everyone makes mistakes and has regrets, it's a fundamental part of being human

learn from your mistakes and move on, don't wallow in your regret and try to turn back the clock because you can't. You say you threw a woman you loved away for someone you hate, ok well that sucks, but this woman you were in a relationship with is not the only woman on the planet worth loving, there will be others.

>>17517664
Distract yourself. Do something to break your obsessive thinking and you won't need liquor. It could be something as simple as going to the movies a lot, or working out at a gym.

>>17517664
Would you say you might be obsessed with not being alone? Because if that's the case, you could try redirecting your obsession. Towards like, say, work.

>>17517667
Considering i was expecting some kys's when i posted. This is really good advice. I've been trying to move on, it's just so hard for me, I've been trying for 1 year now with no real progress. I don't know how to feel this void. And if I don't fill with something I'm afraid I'll deteriorate even more.

>>17517675
>>17517673
I have plenty of distraction. I would work out, but gyms are money and I don't like working out alone. Not that I don't have friends that would with me, but they're all busy with college and i'm really lazy .

As for the obsession thing, I don't think it's an obsession with not being alone. It's more I wonder what she's doing, how she is. But at the same terrofied that she hates me. Will I make her life worse by seeing her again? Will I get burned when I try? Or will everything just work out? A her obsession. Even though I hate saying that because it makes me feel so weak.