My gf almost never initiates anything and when we're with

>>17517218
>She warned me from the start she's a little tomboyish, not at all lovey dovey
It's how she is. You can't change that. If you want someone who shows affection, date someone else.

>>17517218
>tomboyish, not at all lovey dovey
>when we're with friends, she gets downright cold and distant
looks like your friends ran a train on her

>>17517218
FUCKING COMMUNICATE!

Either there is something wrong, which it does not sound like there is any good reason for this to be true, or she is like that in personality. Only talker to HER will help you figure out which of those it is.

You could ask her plain and simple if this is how she is affection wise on a normal basis. But unless she ever acted differently it sounds like her norm.

>>17517221
So it's ok for me to just drop it?
There's times she shows affection (though very rarely) but usually she acts like always. Yesterday we went out, things seemed OK, then we met with some friends and that was it. For the rest of the night she acted like we weren't even together.

I don't want her to cling to my arm all day long or shower me with kisses, but damn son I'm feeling left out.

I'm also the newcomer to her group so it's that maybe? Yesterday her best friend came back home and maybe she feels weird displaying affection with everyone around?

>>17517243
>FUCKING COMMUNICATE!
We do. I just wanted to ask opinions and suggestions because I don't want to make a deal out of it if it's basically nothing.

I like to kiss and hug her a lot though, and she told me she loves to be kissed and hugged a lot. It's just weird for me because I always grab her, kiss her, hug her tightly but she almost never responds to any of that. She just lets herself be hugged and kissed like a sack of cloth.

Bump, anyone can share some insight/experiences with gfs who never initiate anything?
I want to believe it's just her personality and there's no deeper meaning to it.
I hate that I'm thinking like this but when I see her sister with the bf, and how affectionate they are, I just get a bit mad and a tad bit jealous.

I just want to feel the love that I give.

>>17517218

>Get a girl on the side (or start giving off signs that you have someone else in mind, even if you don't).
>YOU become cold and distant over night.
>YOU start acting... different.
>YOU start acting like you're better than her (sounds to me like you are).
>If she asks about your new behavior, lie... tell her all is well.

If she doesn't change after that then she probably never will... my assumption is that she's hiding something and isn't serious about your relationship.

>This will force her to show her hand.

Good luck, 007.

>>17517403
My boyfriend was like your girlfriend.
I talked to him once and explained to him that I wish he was more physically affectionate. I paid a lot of attention, brought up examples and situations and details. He said he would chance, but didn't stop acting like my attentions bothered him. So I completely stopped giving them to him - no more hugs, no more cuddles, no more kisses, no more sex. I just lived my life and minded my business, ignoring him.
After a week in which he actually had to initiate to get any sort of physical attention he wanted, all solved. My attentions don't bother him anymore.

>>17517419
>isn't serious about your relationship.
That's what I was thinking. I want to make thus work but a relationship takes 2 people and I feel like I'm putting too much emotion and effort and she doesn't respond.

Thing is, I'm falling for this girl. When she does show affection, it's so sweet and nice it blots out everything else. I'm usually aloof and disconnected from everyone else but barely a month with her, I already want to be with her.

I still don't give a fuck about her friends and still kiss and hug her in front of them. Maybe she does feel awkward about it.

>>17517439
>no more sex
shit got real

>>17517475
After he complained about getting his dick sucked too often, I guess he kinda deserved it.

Monitoring this thread because I have the same issue with my gf. I will see her today and plan on actually bringing it up. Like OP it's not like I expect full-time lovey dovey but she should at the least be receptive to me.

Example: the last time we were at my place, I was obviously ready and horny. She pretty much just ignored that and spent 30 minutes on her fb/instagram before finally relenting and getting into sex. When we do finally have sex though, she enjoys it a lot...

Me and my gf haven't done sex yet.

Maybe she wants it so soon? We're a month in.

>>17517450
I was the same way...

>I was a dick to every girl I ever dated.
>They all loved me and were infatuated.
>I fell for the one girl who doesn't put up with my shit.
>I love her like I've never loved any other (and like I said, they all treated me much, much better).

Go figure... nice guys finish last isn't just a saying. When I toughen up with her, she chases after me. We have kind of a tug of war relationship, but it works. Toughen up with her, and if she doesn't respond in a positive way, then start to emotionally detatch yourself from the relationship (as a security measure).

What will hurt is if you find her cheating with a guy who is a complete asshole (and girls like that sometimes for for the asshole who might give them a black eye). Don't turn into THAT guy, but don't be prince charming either.

>You'll be fine, 007.

>>17517494
Unless you are 16 or very religious, you absolutely should be having sex a month in.

>>17517671
What if it's her that's religious? Some people deny.

>>17517671
We haven't had the opportunity yet. I plan to next week though, so whatever.
She and her sister are very protective of each other.

>>17517671
My boyfriend and I took several months to have sex. We were 21 at the time. Not everyone moves at the same pace anon.

>>17517403
Had a gf like that. I left her because I want a lot of affection.

>>17517689
I forgot to list if you both are virgins as a reason. Then it takes longer. But otherwise, adults don't really have reasons to not have sex if they are in a relationship.

Though we aren't in a relationship... My "female friend" acts the same way.
We've kissed, done some foreplay.
But I'm always the one to initiate it.
She rarely shows affection.
She just seems so indifferent about our relationship and I just start to wonder if she even cares.

OP here.

I got denied dinner today. Yesterday she herself suggested we go out to her favourite restaurant and get dinner.
Today she told me whether it's ok if she can't come today with me.

Like fucking usual. She's done this for the past 2 weeks, ever since her accident. She told me she needs to meet with her boss for health vacation, then solve some stuff at work and she has many things to do today and can't come.

I got kinda angry and straight out asked her via text if she even enjoys spending time with me. Fuck all pretends, fuck all social demands. I needed to ask her and I couldn't wait any longer.

I straight up told her she's been acting cold, refused invitations for drinks or dinner and I asked what the problem is.

She immediately went "oh nooo, I feel so bad now, please. Everything is fine, more than fine. It's just my injury and illness and job and all that"

I can understand that and I told her that, just that I feel like shit when she keeps refusing me. She insisted that everything is ok and it's just the inconvenience of her injuries and job.

Did I do right to confront her about this situation and stop being outright refused and shitted on? I told her I'm not mad and I understand her situation, but I feel very bad for being always refused, her being so distant towards me, never showing any affection.

I feel better now but I feel like this ain't going anywhere until we find a good spot to just sit and talk about it in person.
And since she always fucking refuses to go out with me, I had no other choice but tell her via text.

>>17517874
>Did I do right to confront her about this situation and stop being outright refused and shitted on?
Given what you've just revealed about her job and accident, it sounds like she's got a lot on her plate and like you're being an ass. If she's stressed out, it's perfectly reasonable that she wants time to herself to relax.
>I told her I'm not mad
It probably came across as you being mad.

And as for your question in the first place: this is how she is. She's just not an affectionate person. If you can't accept that, don't date her.

>>17517884
We talked and agreed from the start to be chill with one another, treat one another as we would like to be treated, always tell one another if something is not right.
I know that if I was in her situation, I would have wanted someone to take care of me as I take care of her.

And the thing is, I overheard her yesterday when she talked with a friend of her, told her they should meet. A girl friend, not a guy.
I didn't say anything and waited until today, ask her about her plans knowing full well she told me we should dine together, then her friend they should meet up.

And when she told me she has to go here and there and can't come and dine with me, I immediately got angry. I believe I'm in the right to be when she kept refusing me everything left and right.

Anyway we closed the chat for now. She said she's glad I told her what's bothering me and I said I think it's fair to speak our minds.
No bye, no layers, no see ya, nothing else. I don't know what she's doing right now.

Should I get back to her later? Should I ask her what's up or anything?

Or should I leave her be for now, see what happens next, if she texts me something later?
It's not her style to outright ignore someone so she'll probably do a "heyyy:*" sometime later today.

Should I just wait?

Can just anyone say what makes girls be like this? Parents weren't so care-ish?

>>17517921
I'd guess being oblivious and not too bright.

Op bere, update.

She came back to me herself.
>:*
>what's up babe
>Getting ready to meet with my boss. You? Hanging in there?
>nah, it's boring at work today. Eating right now
>have a good meal :*
>going out so I don't fall asleep. Thanks. Write me when you're done with your boss
>yep:*
>:* layers
>oki :*

At this point should I ever bother to mention my freakout again? Should I apologise to her for being an ass earlier? Or should I let it slide like it never happened?

Crashing this thread with no survivors.

I've been dating this girl recently who will show no physical affection whatsoever unless I initiate. Even when I'm holding her, she will rest her forearms on my chest/collar bones rather than fully embracing me which feels off, like she's putting up a physical barrier. Although she will kiss quite passionately.

Recently I opened up to her about my feels for her and when I said I needed to know if I things could go somewhere with us, I managed to get a 'you know I like you'.

Then she got upset and told me shes not the great person I think she is because she 'sins' repeatedly. She is quite religious.

Going for dinner with her in a couple of days for my birthday. When I told her I wanted to spend my birthday just the two of us, she said she was flattered, which seems odd to me, and she later called me 'dude' while joking around, which also sounded like an odd thing to say to me.

Unsure about all this. Any similar experiences?

Bump for interest.

>>17517218
See, different people have dofferent forms of "initiating"

My boo will just take her shirt off or have me walk in on her naked (my fav) or do other shit like that. She doesn't actually start anything but I get the hint.

>>17518002
I'd try apologizing. From your posts it sounds like you're the overly clingy sort. Spending time together is important, but you shouldn't go helicopter parent/ hysterical girlfriend mode.

>>17517403
don't get me fucking started with my fucking GF...

I'm legit about to explode due to the grief i'm getting.

So 3 year relationship, I've known her for 5 years. At the start she was chasing me, shit happens and the tables have turned. I'm chasing her. That's no big deal for me really.
What bothers me though is the "space". "Oh I need some me time"... That fucking sentence drives me up the wall. Spoken about the countless times but nope apparently it's to "exhausting". When she is on her own, it's like I don't exist. Like how the fuck do you ignore your significant other? She explained to me one time that she is like a cat. Only when she needs the attention she'll come to me. "I need to leave enough space to allow me to miss you" she says. It's like I'm dating a fucking high school kid. She's 24 and still depended on her dad ffs.

Why did I have to fall in love with this person... I know I'm going to be in a world of pain soon.

File: japanese-school-girl-i-giggled-at-her-antics.jpg (120KB, 640x853px) Image search: [Google]

120KB, 640x853px

>>17519873
>It's like I'm dating a fucking high school kid
>"Oh I need some me time"... That fucking sentence drives me up the wall.

kek the irony

i went to this thread to remember what emotions are. thank you op