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I'm 25 and have been dating a girl for a week. We worked together every day for the past ~1 month and there was a strong mutual interest, so we ended up getting together. We aren't working together in the same dept anymore.
The problem is that I have been spending nearly every minute after work with her. We sleep together, I have a tooth brush at her place, I have a pillow there, etc. I basically moved in. And I guess I didn't think it was that bad until yesterday she almost told me she loved me. When I took a step back and realized how fast we were going, I realized that I may have gotten in too deep. I don't necessarily wanna break up with her cause I like her, but I think the odds are stacked against us. We are from different backgrounds and cultures, and my job may require me to move in 1 year to a different state.
I didn't expect to get into a relationship this year because I knew I was going to move for my job, but now that I'm in one, I have the option of staying if I ask. If I do end up staying and we are together, marriage is basically around the corner. And because this job I'm in pays well and there's a history of people working their way up fast, neither of us is going to quit and leave.
What the hell do I do?
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>>17515057
what? dude, you have known her a month and are talking about marriage.
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>>17515121
No, i'm saying that if I do end up staying, then that would be basically what I'm telling her. I don't feel remotely ready for marriage but if I end up keeping this job at this location, then I feel like she will get the idea that I wanna marry her and she's more into this than I am.
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>>17515145
what do you want?
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>>17515182
I want to slow things down. Hell, even going on a break and seeing what happens would be nice. It's funny because if a friend of mine was telling all this to me (about her coming on fast, and how she almost dropped the L word this early on), I would tell them to break up, but now that I'm in the situation, I don't know what to do. I wouldn't mind breaking up because its probably the best for me, but I know it would probably upset her. I should look after myself first cause this is only a week long relationship, but I have this weird feeling like I owe it to her to at least see where this all goes.
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>>17515219
ur kinda pushing this all or nothing.
like, if you know ur never gonna propose til a few years in, does it really matter? people say i love you at different times. and while you may be concerned about her investment in you, its not your job to control that for her.
if i were you id just keeping seeing where things go, and taking as much alone time as i wanted, but not purposely seperating to 'slow it down'.
a relationship is going to go where it wants to go. were all moving towards what is our 'comfort zone'. yours happens be very co-dependent. but if you arent disliking it, whats wrong?
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>>17515227
I guess I'm worreid about my parents accepting her. We are different races and they're super conservative and traditional. And I know they won't accept her right off the bat or maybe even at all. And ultimately, even if we only remain boyfriend and girlfriend and don't take the relationship further, I still would want my parents to like my girlfriend.
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>>17515286
and id like to get my dick sucked while at work, but my on call cocksucker doesnt feel like spending 8 bucks on an uber to hide under my desk while i code a website.
if ur waiting for perfect, you're going to wait a long time. the easiest way to get parents over their hang ups, is to do what you want anyways. lets pretend she was the perfect girl, wife material, are you going to reject her cuz 'oh my parents are conservative' ?
even if this girls just a fling, why not start laying the ground work for that now? and if ur parents never accept this sort of thing, you'll figure out how to best approach it with this practice.
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