What level of transparency is needed, acceptable and when does

>>17514045
>Do you guys ever share your passwords with your SO(and they do the same?)
Yes
>Maybe you leave your phone/laptop around your SO and don't mind/care?
Yes
>Or do you feel this is weird and get uncomfy, even if you're 100% faithful?
No
If you feel that way or if your SO is acting that way then you/they have something to hide and it causes problems.

Yes
Yes
No
My boyfriend and I honestly have no problem with these things, because we have no reason to have a problem with these things

>>17514047
>>17514053
What these two said.

I'll add one thing- sometimes there are things people wish to keep secret, not necessarily because it would upset/anger/whatever you, but because the person is embarrassed about it, and they also have trust issues, or just don't want to talk about it. Everyone has the right to some privacy, I guess it just depends if you think keeping a secret, secret, is worth the potential suspicion it would cause your partner.

>>17514045
>Do you guys ever share your passwords with your SO(and they do the same?)
Yes
>Maybe you leave your phone/laptop around your SO and don't mind/care?
Yes
>Or do you feel this is weird and get uncomfy, even if you're 100% faithful?
Not really

The only time it becomes a problem is when they look for reasons to be upset or try and investigate things (usually because they are doing something wrong themselves)
I dated a girl who one day just went off on one, we argued because I emailed a girl I know a gift idea (before I had even met then gf), she was saying she was going to contact her and confront her over a non issue, so I changed my passwords.
After we had broken up later that night because of how unreasonable she was acting, the morning after she called and said "I can't believe you have changed your passwords, don't you see a future in us?".

Basically, being open is good, just watch out for if your SO becomes crazy.

>>17514045
>Do you guys ever share your passwords with your SO(and they do the same?)
Not unless the account itself is for the both of us (for example, our bank account).

>Maybe you leave your phone/laptop around your SO and don't mind/care?
This, we do, but there are passwords.

>Or do you feel this is weird and get uncomfy, even if you're 100% faithful?
Avsolutely it's weird and uncomfortable.

>I have massive trust issues and I was wondering how you guys trust your SOs, or deal with your insecurities.
You deal wih the trust issues before getting into a relationship. You are not ready for this.

>>17514296
How to deal with trust issues?

>>17514047
>>17514053
>>17514103
>>17514173
How did you guys initiate the whole "sharing passwords" thing? Did you ask or s/he just mentioned it? Only password sharing that occurred between me and one of my exes was a mediafire account...

>>17514296
Why exactly do you think it's uncomfortable? I mean in my mind I always thought the process was they know your info but you also trust them not to constantly snoop on you, viceversa?
If you're worried they'll keep "checking up" on you, isn't that an insecurity in itself?

>>17514045

We don't particularly share passwords or anything, but he knows my phone locking codes and such and I know his and neither bothers with changing them, if that counts. Nor do I feel uncomfortable leaving my phone or lap top unguarded with him. Trust just comes naturally if you're close with someone. If he googles something with my phone I know he's not going to go read messages or anything, because he respects my privacy and I can use his lap top to send emails, because he knows I won't snoop into his things. If this didn't happen naturally, I'd just assume that the whole relationship isn't healthy and that something is wrong on some level.

>>17514296
I agree with this anon. Though I'm not tinfoil hat mode, I hate the feeling of being watched. I even dislike people staring over my shoulder because it makes me so uncomfortable.

I once shared an accounts with an ex, and he grilled me on every single purchase I made (even if he asked me to buy it). He would track my movements and ask me why I went to X on Y day, and I was no longer allowed to see old friends because that was usually a "cover" in his eyes. If I was on the phone, he would demand to know who it was and check the phone logs. Got so bad he would follow me into the bathroom to make sure I wasn't on a burner trying to chat up someone.

Though I enjoy my privacy, I sort of envy couples that are so close that feel comfortable enough sharing every single thing.

When you need to ASK about her personal stuff, then that's unattractive/controlling.

You should never NEED to see her personal stuff.

I don't share password for my phone, but do for my pc since it just sits at home.

I only get uncomfortable because I've been considering leaving her and talking to other women. seeing my options I guess. I'm not not happy with her. Just curious if something better exists. Meh

>share passwords?
kinda no, phone unlocking yes, but for websites no, but gotten my exes password once. Im not using a password on my pc though.

> leave phone/laptop?
yes
> feel weird?
No

phone unlocking basically get automatic, once you are together for 1+ year, at some point you know. other stuff only gets shared if it's necessary.

>>17514045
I would never ask for nor share a password; that's a weird boundaries thing to me and a huge red flag if someone demands it.

I get uncomfortable when people use my computer because I have a very private internet life and even people who know me well might not have the context to understand the kind of stuff I read and post.

I wouldn't get uncomfortable leaving a phone or computer around them though. You should trust someone enough for that I think.

>>17514045
No, I use the same password for alot of stuff but if possible I'll allow access for a laptop using finger print or just leaving it unlocked. It's a little uncomfortable considering porn history may pop up, just embarrassing searches in general, or out of context messages. I myself wouldn't look through her phone people are entitled to some privacy and their phone is a very personal device and hopefully she feels the same way.

>>17514045
learned after being burned with my ex bf to have an open phone that has nothing incriminating. All family, close friends, work and bf and my other phone my bf doesn't know about. Problem solved

>>17514734
Yes, even if I have trust issues I also value my privacy a lot. Like >>17514607 said, I also do not like being watched..
My asshole father snooped and read my diary and did a lot of humiliating stuff to me and also went through my mail :/ and my mother would also "secretly" open dads emails and check his phone and the whole sneaky demeanor she had about it was awful..wtf ugh so I would really really like my SO to be comfortable with his privacy around me.

The thing is I've been cheated on twice and my last ex sexted/skyped girls a couple of times, he also had this manipulative friend who kept trying to break us up and when I told him I felt bad he said he was blocking her. Later I find out he's still regularly snapchatting her :/
So I've been on the fence about this whole transparency thing, a few of you said it's fine but a few expressed that it's not cool...

Anyway thank you guys for responding :) I think that I will just work on my issues and keep up therapy. Hopefully it is easier when I meet someone who is not a dick