I'm extremely frustrated and angry with myself. When I was

>>17504795
Get a therapist before it's too late. Otherwise, a bullet might work. Stay away from loli and schools and fucking talk to a therapist. Tell him what happened and how it's altering your thoughts.

>>17504815
I have been trying Something out. Everytime I have these thoughts I cut myself soo I stop those thoughts. Also I do not deserve help . When I was 5 he told me it was my fault, and my family wouldnt believe me if I told them. I feel in sense, he's right it was my fault. When he was over at our house for dinner, he told me ( when we were alone) that deep down I'm still a 5 yr old boy and nothing I can do will change anything.

>>17504849
Jesus fuck, is this some sort of elaborate bait or what? If what you're saying is true then you definitely need to see a therapist. First off, stop cutting yourself, it solves nothing and damages you more, both physically and mentally. Second off, it's never a five year olds fault, they are fucking 5, they can't be held responsible for anything let alone their own molestation, third off you're not a five year old boy, he has exactly zero control over you anymore and shouldn't, what he should have, is severe rectal trauma from being in the pockey. You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself and weak or you can go attempt some maintenance on your state of mind with a therapist. You aren't five anymore. You also aren't your uncle and as such, you shouldn't follow in his shitty kid diddling legacy.

>>17504921
I know I shouldn't. I also have been thinking of doing soemthing else. My dad has a gun safe. He's not home right now but maybe I'll watch him enter the passcode when he opens it, if I can manage to.

>>17504953
You do whatever you feel is best. I've given the best advice I can think of.

>>17504921
I completely agree with this anon. OP, what happened to you is horrible and I can't even imagine how difficult it has been for you to go through but you have to take some sort of control on the situation. For the sake of your own sanity you have to stop seeing yourself as a victim and only you can make the decisions that will lead you to the life you want to live. Seeing a therapist would be a good start.