Thread replies: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: 6_insuh_bestunderwear-6415.jpg (138KB, 640x640px) Image search:
[Google]
138KB, 640x640px
So /b/ I need your help.
So I have always saw myself as bisexual, wank to gay porn, find good looking men sexually attractive and so on. But tonight I sucked my first dick. It was a guy I met on craiglist. I started crying half way through but let me tell you what happened.
He picked me up in his work van, gave me some speed and poppers. That loosened me up, I'm already on xanax so I think that might have been why I choose to suck a dick tonight. Don't laugh please. I do not know if I regret it.
We went to a discreet location and I rubbed his cock on the drive there (I'm getting horny thinking about this which is why I am having doubts). So we get to the location and he gets me to suck his cock after taking more speed. The guy was 32, attractive for his age 6/10 but way under my league in no means to boast. He kept calling me a twink and using terminology I found unsettling. He turned out to be a nice guy he said he wanted to fuck me so hard because I was such a good cocksucker. It was great sucking his cock, I literally deepthroated it so many times and he said he was close to cumming three times but didn't because he didn't want to cum in my mouth. I loved sucking cock don't get me wrong but I found it more appealling when he sucked mine; even though he didn't suck it that much. So I started throtting with him and that was very pleasurable. I started sobbing halfway through sucking his cock and sucked it for an hour and sort of kept wishing it would end - eventually I told him I want to go him and he had no problem with that but told me he'll email me again sometime because he loved the time together. But honestly I am not doing that shit again.
>>
All in all. I am having doubts about my sexuality. Why was I crying? Is it because my first time was with a stranger? I am in the closet so can't really find someone nice... Help me please. I am having regret and thinking I am not gay if I didn't enjoy it that much. But I think if I tried top I'd like that more? He wanted to go back get lube and a condom and fuck my arse but I said no, don't find that appeal but I didnt wanted to fuck his but he wasn't attractive enough to ask
actually I don't even know if I liked sucking his dick
If it was a QT trap I wouldn't have minded. though
>>
>>17504429
>>17504426
Jesus christ man that's a jumble of emotions you're describing - but not uncommon in your situation. You loved this but it was weird but you were turned on but it was unsettling but he was attractive but not in your league but so on and so forth.
I'm bi and I can tell you my goal posts do shift from time to time, whether it's related to hormones or whatnot I don't know. Sometimes I'm right into something with another dude, a month later it won't really grab me the same way - but it won't disgust me nor fill me with regret, shame, loathing or sadness at any time.
I think if you take a closer look at yourself you'll find you have some deep misgivings about your sexuality. It sounds to me like this was something you should have enjoyed from the description of your porn habits and previously assured self identity. You are closeted which means you are afraid of what people will think, which means that you believe that some or most people think that you are doing something wrong.
If you enjoy cock and find some men attractive you are bi or gay. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex with men, or particularly love every aspect of sex with men - it's no different to heterosexuality. Seems to me that you've blown your sexuality up into a big part of your identity, and yet you aren't entirely comfortable with your orientation in the first place.
I can't give you a magic bullet solution because there isn't one, because you aren't sure what you even think is happening. Again, if you like dick and you find a few dudes attractive that's cool. You shouldn't be in the closet about it unless you are in danger of being murdered or stoned over it, but at the same time you don't need to share it with the world, or live and breathe it every day. If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.
>>
>>17504471
tl;dr
>If you want to enjoy the next encounter of the nature you've described and not feel terrible about it afterwards or during you need to become more comfortable with yourself and your sexuality.
>>
>>17504426
>>17504429
It certainly doesn't help that he was a stranger--you were likely scared. I could never find pleasure in sex with someone that I wasn't at least friends with.
>>
>>17504486
Yeah, this seems true.
Thread posts: 6
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2