I can't stop cheating on every significant other that I've

I don't necessarily believe that people who cheat once are doomed to forever be cheaters, but in your case... good luck with that. Have you considered just opting for an open relationship straight away and eliminating the problem that way?

>>17503663
I considered that, just avoiding being in a situation where there's exclusivity... but I don't think that will work because I have this innate need to feel special to someone and have a connection/understanding with them. I know it's hypocritical but it's just the way I feel.

I wonder if it's connected to my parents cheating on each other. My mom used to bring this guy around whenever my dad was out of town for work (actually, she still does this) and I know my dad cheated on her too (he's out of the country now and probably cheating on her as I type this). Sorry for the mental spewing.

>>17503692
And you don't think there's a way you can feel assured that you have that with someone without being monogamous? I mean, not all open relationships exist of multiple equal relationships, some couples have rules like being able to fuck anyone as long as you never take their contact info. That way you sleep around but only have one romantic partner.

Not that I'm trying to claim that it's so easy to find someone you like who is up for the kind of open relationship you want (depending on where you live, too), but psychologically it does seem easier to me to try to make your peace with that than to quit cheating. It's quite a gamble, even if things go well at first, that you'll be able to control yourself for decades if you've never yet managed to be loyal in any relationship at all.

The obvious answer if you are dead set on trying to achieve this is to analyse your feelings and needs with a therapist and hear what they have to say about it. But there's a lot of therapists around and finding a quality one can be an absolute pain in the ass.

>>17503703
I'm not sure.. I think it's some instinctual thing from the days of just trying to make it as a species. I know we're smart and populated enough now that monogamy isn't the only way to go anymore but I can't help having this hypocritical connection between sexuality and romantic love.

Even if I found decent therapist, I'm honestly too embarrassed about it to talk to anyone and that's how I ended up here - so I really appreciate your reply. Thank you.

>>17503723
Well, I'm afraid I have little useful advice then. I would recommend soul searching (this is a long term thing) and trying to get to the bottom of why you cheat. Deconstruct it all: what do you get out of it, what do you get out of a relationship, consider the sexual aspect, emotional, power, your sense of identity etc. Compare situations. Sort out for yourself why exactly you find it important to be a non-straying partner, what values it touches upon, what it would say about you etc.

Changing is possible, but difficult. I believe the best starting point is when you can see what's going on within yourself and get a grasp on that. Learn how to work around your weak spots, how to make a craving less intense, how to bully yourself into behaving if nothing else works.
Again though, that's quite a lot. At that point it's not just about how to not cheat anymore, but really working on yourself as a person. And dragging up all those memories and thoughts will depress you and eat at your self esteem and bring up old shame and guilt, if you do it well. So prepare for all that if you want to attempt it.

Either way good luck, sorry to not be of more help but perhaps the bumps will get you someone else.