I haven't had a conversation with anyone irl in 6 months

why haven't you talked to anyone in six months?Don't you have a job or go out at all?

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>I know isolation causes brain damage
It can be the other way aswell

>>17503465
No

try a voice chat online like a discord server

>>17503264
When it starts to hurt physically, like through headaches and chest pains, it's usually sign that you're in bad shape.

I took a summer class and did research this summer, Anon, and the campus is essentially void of people. My friends were all busy, so organizing hangouts were a pain.

If you don't have a source of income, you should at least get one, even if it's meager. It'll give you more freedom to move around.

Every so often at night I visit this arcade near my place. The people there may of course behave autistically, but they aren't the type that mean harm, and they make for nice conversation. From there, I started to take notice of bookstores and restaurants nearby, and every week or so I set aside like $15 and go to some new hole-in-the-wall as an adventure. Without leaving the city I live in, I get to meet all sorts of people, and have a nice collection of memories without relying on friends being there 24/7.

>>17503789
There are no arcades here or holes I. Walls wathever that means

>>17503264
Wtf seriously? Isolation causes brain damage? Can someone explain this?

I've been isolated for 5 years aside from my mom yelling at me through my door and I've just now moved out and started trying to be a person find doing everything is crippling and reality is a haze at almost all times. I'm starting to think I have brain damage now.

>>17503789
I got 1000 dollars for my birthday and I just spent it ordering take out for every meal for a couple of months.
Having money doesn't fix anything

>>17503811
There is a part of your brains that keeps shrinking and can't be fixed, I'm not an expert

>>17503818
goddamn it, well it's real. no wonder I can't adjust. I'm fucked for life.

>>17503789
but how do you talk with people, I always fail to keep up a decent conversation

>>17503826
Me and you buddy
I already had brain damage from medication I took for 15 years plus my awful diet and the time I spent not getting any sunlight couldn't have helpedcant wait for the guilters to claim all I need is to go outside to validate their own experience tho

>>17503844
I feel you, for me it wasn't a choice but an amalgamation of circumstances ranging from extreme poverty, homelessness, mental illness and decisions from my sole parent... Sob story shit I know, but whenever I talk about my past I usually get told I'm bullshitting, many people can't relate (or just don't want to) and it really hurts, but I understand that sometimes, alot of times, being isolated really is a hardship some have forced on them and sadly it's just not well understood by people who've been blessed with more balanced lives.

Not saying anyone should just accept their fate, but just saying I understand how you feel. I know it's not your fault.

>>1750386
Competition aside one thing we know that most people don't know is that once you fucked up your life that's it. It doesn't matter if fucking up your life was not interacting with anyone for a decade, being homeless or killing someone and it doesn't matter if it was even your fault
Once you fucked up that's it, you can do better and you can do worse but it's still fucked

>>17503796
>>17503815
>>17503834

Okay how are there now 3 of you?
So a hole-in-the-wall is just a little business you see in strip malls or urban areas. Like a run-of-the-mill bar or restaurant.

If there's none of that, you could try going to parks and going for a run. You might meet people there. You could try the library, or the QuickChek down the street, or the barber shop. Whenever you go out for an errand, you may encounter people, which will provide the opportunity.

Now, 1000 dollars is a lot, but if it's for your birthday and you don't have a source of income, then it's obvious it will only be used for food. A source of income is divisible, because you can reasonably count on there being a new check in the next two weeks, so you don't need to reserve it all for food. If you really have no money, again, places like parks and libraries and bookstores are free access and don't need payment to enter.

So now I've discussed the means of acquiring opportunity for conversation. Now holding one itself? Practice is the common answer, and it works. But if you want my personal take, develop some interests or some knowledge. If you're not leaving the house much, watch a lot of movies, tv shows, anime, and youtube videos of different kinds. Read lots of different books. Play lots of different video games. Try out activities that don't require a lot of money like coding, drawing, and exercising.

>I hate all that shit

That's fine. But you'll at least know about it and you have some informed opinion about it through experience. Then, when you meet someone holding a copy of Shakespeare you can have a discussion, which is a conversation:

>"Oh, I've read Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet"
>"What'd you think of them?"
>"I didn't like them because of _______ and ______. What do you find appealing about them?"
>"Mostly ________ and __________"
>"Huh, so do you like romantic stuff? Did you read East of Eden or Wuthering Heights?"
And there you go. More on this.

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>>17504028
>I can start conversations but not keep them going

There are many reasons why a conversation can end that aren't in your control. People can be busy and have other commitments. They also want to go home and relax.

>No, they just end abruptly and awkwardly

For that, you should debug the situation. What was the last thing either of you said or discussed that resulted in the end of the conversation?

>"Do you watch anime?"
>"No, not really."
>"Oh..."

There's a few things you could do there. One is switch gears to another interest, like
>"Do you watch sitcoms then?"

Which hinges on you knowing a bit about them. For conversations, it's better to know a good amount about several things instead of knowing everything to the finest details on just one subject.
You can also turn answers into questions, like a reporter. This can be annoying if they notice, but most of the time they don't.

>"Why don't you? I'm just curious about what causes some people to like or dislike it"

And go on from there.

>They reply "I don't know"

That one's frustrating. You can't get a read on what they think about anything. Last ditch effort before dropping the conversation and finding someone more interesting can be

>"Then may I make a recommendation? I like _____________ "

At least you got some practice, and now they have something to look up when they get home.

>>17504028
I get a weekly allowance for food, not anywhere near 1000 dollars tho.
Keep in mind I could at any point have used the money for anything else but I didn't.
Even when I talk with people and even when I talk with the same people for months I don't connect with them anymore and I don't feel empathy nor investment in them.
It didn't use to be the case but isolation changed me, I even tried the interest thing but since I can't share with anyone or at least connect with anyone through it since I did share with people who where into the exact same thing, I lose interest

>>17504039
You are assuming I can't talk with people, that's not the case at all.
I can talk to people, I can't invest myself in people, if they are around good, if they aren't around anymore I don't seem to care at all
Yet I feel lonely.
And it isn't because of lack of trying, I tried but I don't have the capacity to

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What has lead you to being this situation? (not just mentally but your physical whereabouts/environment too)

Same boat here, except I am also in a stressful situation, so a month is the "oh shit" point for me. We are social creatures, obviously, and don't let odd 4channers convince you otherwise. They have a point in their criticism of people though, the main reason you are alone is probably because you're demorivated from socializing (which had an initial cause).

>>17504065
Abuse
My family always treated me like I was worthless, every failure was terrible, every accomplishment worth jack shit and no matter how I acted or what I reacted to I was an ingrate and a piece of shit.
Mix it with my dad has violence issues and borderline paranoia and my mother only cares about herself, I has no contact with any other family members and I acted out because of neglect so I was prescribed with heavy medication for it that made me fat and my mom gave me money to buy friends and I tried to because I was worthless right? And surprise kids used me and bullied me so I ended up spending all the money on candy and neither teachers nor faculty gave a fuck unless it was about blaming me for everything

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>>17504043
>>17504050
Okay this is good, so we're narrowing down the problem. The OP made it look like you didn't know how to interact with people at all because you were isolated.

So your motivation is to get involved and have a fulfilling relationship with others. You know what I mean. You want friends that you can call real friends, etc.

>Even tried the interest thing but since I can't share ...I lose interest

Well, in your quest to broaden knowledge, you should eventually find something that genuinely interests you for you. A hobby that you like doing independently of other people liking it.

Because your motivations have been made clearer, now you can focus on the things you know you like doing. You aren't having a conversation for the sake of conversation anymore, you now have an intent. Therefore, weed out conversations that are just idle talk. It's okay now to just stick to your passions and hobbies. Then, find communities for like-minded people online.

In the long run, sticking with like-minded people or finding people online is not a good idea. But if you haven't talked or connected with anyone in so long, this may help. This is because you find it hard to invest in people when they aren't around. You can't develop that attitude to care. That's perfect with internet conversations. If you message someone online you can always pick the conversation back up later when they respond. Through the internet you can keep correspondence without having to put it too much monitoring effort.

>How do you become close to people over time?

Here's the tricky open-ended part. The rule here is that what I'm about to say always happens, but I can't tell you when, how, or under what circumstance. However, I think a good rule to apply is that you have to be vulnerable at one point and give some of you away, meaning talk about your life, your past, something a bit intimate. And they should also do the same.

More on this.

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>>17504080
You forgot to mention environment (unemployed? city? farm/rural? town? College? also how fucking old are you?

From how your parents treated you, I think it's the case wher eyou are afraid of experiencing that kind of relation with peers. Also you should work on self-love (Your OP pic is fucking SU, learn from that, it has a lot to offer.). before looking for worth/validity/love in others, find it in yourself with yourself, love your fucking self. After you have improved that (and know there is always room for improving it, the self-love that is, until you die) you will likely find it easier to interact with others

>>17504104
Your advice isn't useful, I did everything you said and i still like my hobby and feel like I should get back into it but I push it away. I did connect with these people by being vulnerable (on thier end) they liked me, they called me to hang out and I was important enough that when after a party most people said bye and left i got them to walk with me for an hour to the bus stop which nobody else got.
I did not care about them and i did not care about never seeing them again, last time I did some of them even acted emotional when we said goodbye

>>17504111
I already did in this thread>>17504104

>>17504111
I came to terms with who I am and the fact that it isn't my fault but rather everyone failed me after I didn't die.
I neither love nor hate myself, I understand my circumstances.
I'm 23 male, living alone in a big city

>>17504080
I'm so sorry anon, can we commit suicide together from this awful world? Or can you please try to escape

>>17504133
I committed suicide and things are still the same. Committing suicide is pointless and if I ever do it again I'm getting locked up

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>>17504126
>I neither love nor hate myself
well try to start loving yourself, and I know it's banal as fuck but it's important, it's so important that just saying "I love myself" doesn't actually mean anything. It's much more abstract than how it sounds, that's a reason why SU is so fucking good.

>>17504155
O don't know what loving yourself means c-connie?

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>>17504118
That's fine, so we're narrowing down further. Now here's the thing.

>I did not care

but do you feel lonely now? You may have been happy being with these people and hanging out, but that doesn't mean you have to feel sad when they aren't there.

You could go on living on that.

But, it seems like you did do this and you don't like the result. You can in essence apply the selfish way here. "I'm not going to push them away today because I may feel bad a few weeks later about it."

The fact that you feel lonely now means you cared, but perhaps not about them directly. You cared about the idea of having someone with you and having a good time. I come from a history of bad situations as well, and I explained the same thing to my psychologist. "I like the idea of having lots of close friends, but it just doesn't seem worth the effort to care."

It's normal, and it will take time to connect people with the concept and the concept with ideal to satisfy what you want. This loops back into going out there and getting practice. Why not try calling up one of these people you know from long ago? But not because you care, but for the hell of it. Ask them questions and let them ask you some.

>>17504159
N-no what?
I feel lonely sometimes, I don't feel as lonely as I should, I think I'm getting used to it not that's a good thing, quite the contrary.
I felt more alone when hanging with them than ever, not that I chose to stop doing it, shit happened and everyone had to go their own way

>>17503264
Wait... WHAT? isolation causes brain damage?! Oh shit.

It never becomes real. The only way possible is from another isolationist.

I try to find people that relate to me, but only one irl does and he has his own life so I essentially put up with and participate in useless jabbering all the time.

Lonely in a crowd and all that.

Here's what helps me.
I started doing small things for other people to pass time. Not just any small impulse, but one that fits the bill of the correct absurdity. Currently a machete that splits into two machetes but still has a comfy grip.

That way I get emotional about other people because I gave them work I'm proud of and have an attachment too.

It's been working the last three months. Feeding a person's absurd side to" bond" with them.

Good luck to you.

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>>17504158
Yeah, I don't either, but it has to do with feeling good, and if you never feeling good you aren't going about it in an effective way, now I don't mean ALWAYS feeling good, and once more, "feeling good" is another abstraction, but feeling kind of like how you feel when you are doing something that you enjoy. If you can't think of anything that you enjoy or there are too many things that cross-over/saturate that thing that you enjoy you need to try to approach it from a different angle, step back from whatever the thing is, think about WHY you enjoy doing it, and then rack your brain for things that could result in a similar enjoyment. (i.e. I like listening to music->I try learning an instrument. this can lead to many things, and if it leads to you not enjoying playing an instrument then think about why you don't like playing the instrument (choose a different instrument etc.)) just keep following the foreward to backward step in finding out what you enjoy doing, and then do that until you lose interest or find people who can amplify your interest in it, often doing things that you enjoy is not enough, but doing things that you enjoy with people has alot of power. You will die, and time does exist, but it's not there to stop you, it's there to encourage you to enjoy the process of dying (i.e living)

>>17504164
Don't fucking stutter through text. I don't get that.

This gets simpler now. You feel lonely when you're with people. Do you recognize that as weird or abnormal behavior? Do you want it to change?

If you believe so, go see a therapist, because that's something internal. You said something about abuse I think. Fuck the isolation, then. You might have had brain damage for most of your life due to the circumstances you lived in. That's not the same kind of beta shit you get from people who are confused on how social interaction works. That's a medical condition that needs to be seen by a professional.

>>17504180
I went through therapy, lots of different therapist. Last therapy ended 6 months ago, it helped as much as it could, I'm not longer negative, I mean I'm negative as a form of humor not as spending all day in bed because I domt want to live

>>17504176
I enjoy YouTube, cartoons, 4 can, social media, playing Pokemon which managed to get me out of my home. I also enjoy drawing or at least I'm supposed to since I don't draw anymore, I also have a keyboard and made some attempts at learning in the past.
I don't have the best self esteem tho I can't see myself becoming good at anything

>>17504180
Do you feel alone when you are in public and there are lots of people but they are around and you are still alone?
That's how I feel when hanging out with people, even if I'm talking to the, even if I know that, even if they care about me. It feels like im there and they are there but we aren't there together

>>17504187
Then at this point I don't think 4chan will help you. It sounds like
>I haven't met with people in a while
>I'm okay with who I am but a bit pessimistic
>I can interact with people but something still feels missing

By process of elimination, perhaps you need to get a new setting and meet new people, which is something you seem capable of doing yourself.

Or, you desire a relationship (the romantic kind) and just haven't quite figured out that's what it was.

Or, you desire something that you simply can't have. Perhaps it's a good relationship with your parents. That one will take moving on. Replacing things like those are hard and you really shouldn't actively seek a substitute.

Perhaps the other people in this thread can figure out what it is. It's been a long time since I stopped being a shut-in, so I can only go so far.

>>17504201
I know the feeling well, but it's really hard to put it into words without sounding like an angsty teen or cliched.

>>17504205
I tried the new settings thing
It's none of those things, I gave up on my parents, I Never had a romantic relationship at all, I can interact with people but it's like talking to a stranger that knows me I don't get satisfaction out of it in any way. I feel just as lonely doing that as I feel locking myself in my room. Loneliness used to drive me crazy, not anymore. Now I kins of feel empty all the time. I don't belong anywhere and I don't belong next to anyone apparently I crave to but it's impossible, its like being a ghost who can talk and touch stuff

>>17504209
I never felt this way until highschool ended

>>17504187
Case in point
>>17504201

>>17504201
>>17504209

No one ever vibes right, maaan.

>>17504218
Do you sometimes feel like you're watching yourself through a movie?
Unrelated - Are you asexual?

>>17504209
I know people feel like that sometimes, I feel like that all the time no matter who am I talking to.
Why do outside, why study or work when you have no investment in anyone, how can you be anything but selfish? If someone or something messes with me I get mad that's the extent of my involvement in the world

>>17504218
Hmm. All I know is, you should definitely tell people that. Sometimes there are things we hide from ourselves that other people bring out. Maybe you'll find your answer that way.

I kinda found mine in that manner.

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>>17504193
>I can't see myself becoming good at anything
That is not the point, and you have to learn that "being good at something" does not exist in a truly meaningful sense. Sure, you can believe that you are good at something, but you are basing this belief off the certain aspects that that something has when it is "good" (what others have popularized to "being good"). You have to learn to work on these things that you enjoy within your own bounds, it is only when you use the works of others in a positive way (i.e. inspiration) that you can break out of those bounds, and even then, you are still within your own bounds ,you are still doing something that is in a very clear sense "better" than everyone else, this is because they aren't you, they are not the ones doing it. And the most important thing about "creating" things (you say cartoons, drawing, keyboard) is finding out WHY you enjoy it. Think about why you like Pokemon (for me it would be the concept of virtual-worlds that it provides, as well as appealing to my love for animals, music, and improving.) Why you like drawing (for me it is therapeutic and I enjoy taking my time on things, allowing for spontaneous creation, often starting a sketch without knowing what it is, but rather what topics I want to include in the visual). You should also step back and consider why you enjoy 4chan (for me it is essentially beyond words and I haven't quite figured it out yet but I'm sure it has to do with my love for humans and unshielded interaction) and why you enjoy social media or youtube (I don't enjoy social media) You may find that you don't truly enjoy these things, and rather you feel comfortable with them and they make you feel this comfort in a harmful and false way.

hopefully your actually reading this shit.

>>17504226
I used to for a couple months two years ago
No, I'm not asexual

>>17504226
>asexual

Do not derail the thread.

>>17504232
What people?

>>17504237
What did your therapist diagnose you with?
I'm no expert but seems a bit like you're suffering from depersonalization?

Also - Go get laid /thread

>>17504236
I don't know if this matter but I connect, empathize and feel very strong connections with fictional characters.
Maybe I have autism since autistic people don't differentiate between reality and fiction

>>17504243
Whatever other people you end up meeting. Just keep making that effort to make friends, because you obviously attribute some value to them.

How old are you OP? Cos if you're still in your teens, ask someone to slap you.

>>17504236
I enjoy progression, I didn't particularly got into drawing because I wanted to draw, rather I wanted to make comics and animation s so unless I'm good enough for that I'm bad.
I like YouTube, not all YouTube, it's entertainment. I like 4chan but it's a bit of an habit now that's have already seen all the cool memes 6 years ago and there isn't anything particularly new.

>>17504247
He said he doesn't believe in diagnosing things or medication, I hate medication and wouldn't have gone back a second time if he suggested kt

>>17504257
How would a teenager spend years alone?

>>17504249
Did you ever have a pet ? Maybe you should consider it.
If you can't connect with people maybe you can with a domestic animal?

>>17504266
Yes, a Dalmatian who lived 15 years. It was a great dog who stayed very strong and agile until the last year and kept his sight and hearing until almost the end when Dalmatians often loose one or the other far sooner

>>17504271
When did it die?
How did it feel when it passed away?
Was the connection between you and the dog different/stronger than that with a human being?

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>>17504249
Just know that any good fictional characters are made by writers, and any good writers are using REAL people as inspiration, in my case I can relate to you in that I feel a strong connection (I'd even call it love) for the character Connie from SU, this is because I see a little bit of myself in her, but it is mostly because I see in her a friend I once had, who made me happy.

>>17504259
>unless I'm good enough for that I'm bad
you are dead wrong, reread my post and watch some interviews with Hayao miyazaki, Hideaki Anno, and Rebecca Sugar for christ sake.
>I like YouTube
>I like 4chan
you seem to not be hearing me man, you need to look deeper into why you enjoy these things, and if you can write why you enjoy them in a single sentence then I assume you don't truly like them. I find that the reasons for why I enjoy things are sometimes unexplainable in an intelligable way, which may be because of my inexperience in writing and thought organization, but I think that it has to do with that cliche of self-love, I mean the things I enjoy are what make me into a human, I don't know how to meaningfully explain what makes anyone truly a "being/something that exists" but I can still ground my self in my own reality with thinking about what I enjoy and what I like to do.

>>17504287
It died when I was 20 I think
I didn't care until it was dead, I stayed through the process because it was my dog and my responsibility, after it I struggled to speak until I managed to choke he was a good dog. I came home and just sat in my room staring at the wall until my mom decided to take me out to buy gta V to take my mind out of it.
I don't remember much after that, mostly I remember my feelings about gta V
I stopped caring about the dog a couple years before he died, he got old and old dogs aren't fun

>>17504290
I like YouTube because it's entertainment, I do t love YouTube. I watch YouTube sometimes because it's mindless and fun, sometimes because it's interesting and sometimes because I feel like I'm learning something useful.
I like 4 Chan because it's my way of interacting with other people, I don't feel a connection with anyone in 4 Chan wich doesn't mean I don't enjoy talking with people here sometimes or just reading what others have to sah
But mostly it's a time waster, not everything I do has a deep meaning, sometimes fun is fun

>>17504297
>gta v
>2013 20yo

You're just 23, get a hold of yourself before it becomes seriously crippling.

>>17504310
Isnt it crippling? I pretty much spent the last 5 years completely alone

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>>17504309
>not everything I do has a deep meaning, sometimes fun is fun

Yeah, that's true, but there still exists things that do have meaning, and you need to work on figuring that out. That's all the /adv/ I can give man, that and keep supporting Rebecca Sugar if you like animation

>>17504319
Ok, I mean everything has been said.
By the way I don't like Connie and I don't like Steven universe animation either, the show is ok, I much rather just watch posters of over the garden wall or the same action scenes from cowboy beebop again and again. I wish I could be good enough to make something like that but I'm not

>>17504297
So what I what i was going for, to find if you felt attached to the dog. If you did, just get a new dog and replace the human touch you need with the dog. Maybe you'll start feeling better and have normal relationships with actual people. It doesn't hurt to try IF you have the resources to have a pet.

Maybe having a pet, and imagining yourself as a father/mother figure to the pet, fixing the wrongs of your parents (neglectance whatever), could help you feel better about yourself, or feel at ease with their wrongs.

If friendships aren't working for you, why haven't you tried pursuing romantic (lasting) relationships?

What I'm getting at is pursue other forms of bonds which might help you ease your forming of bonds in other kinds. Tackling a problem in a different form can be easier, See things from a different perspective (i.e. stop trying to feel attached to friends when it doesn't work for you)

>>17504310
Your early to mid 20s are special in that you can act like an idiot and have it brushed off.

>>17504332
I don't want to care for a dog but maybe I do for a bird. I don't even understand how relationships are supposed to work but they seem based in equal parts reality and positive, creative, thinking Nd reality. I do have a waifu I know it's not a relationship but it provides comfort

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>>17504327
Tooeach there own, but I hope you know that none of those shows you mentioned were made by one person alone. And you should probably watch Evangelion and Utena if you haven't already, they helped me alot (and continue to help, as I rewatch them) when I was in a similar situation as you. also you might enjoy reading as it is very good with learning about other people.

>>17504348
I await the next part of the sioaf saga after reading the knight of the seven kingdoms last Christmas.
The only other book I ever cared for is atlas shrugged wich is better than what any pseudo intellectual with a personal vendetta would lead you to belive

>>17504348
I understand that animation takes a team and a lot of time and I don't have that.
I still want to do so every bit as much, maybe a videogame would be easier

>>17504343
Not understanding how it works is not a reason to not pursue it.

If you're afraid of getting hurt, don't be. Getting hurt makes you stronger, a bigger person.

>>17504365
It is I mean do you want that wierd thing from Rick and Morty that they keep referencing as something completely normal everyone uses but never explain what it does?

>>17504378
Well you didn't learn to walk by watching someone else do it, it helped sure, but you had to try it first to really learn it.

Sounds more like you're scared of trying it than that of not knowing how it works or anything.

>>17504399
I sincerely apologize if I'm being too harsh, or I'm just chasing wind with the relationship stuff.

So If you have body weight issues (which would not be a surprise to me seeing you have a waifu) which prevent you from finding a girl/boy. Then get a fitness trainer, hit that gym. Changing your lifestyle could help your mental health. If you're not fat - scratch that.

People being fucked up can lead them to being blind to the issues of solving which can begin the process of healing.

Get that bird that you maybe want. I don't know what works for you. That's why you have your therapist, tell him/her that tackling friendships isn't working for you. So that he may guide you to find something that WILL work for you.

Wish you best of luck Anon :) Have a nice day, I'm off to my studies.