Might have gotten my gf of less than a month pregnant I'm

reposting this because hey why not

All I think about every day is how I can become an American.
I'm absolutely obsessed with America, think it's the greatest country of all time and get kinda mad at Anti-American shitposts on 4chan.
I'm German and I hate it here, Merklel is a big part of why but not the only reason. However, my love for America is much bigger than my dislike of Germany.

My best plan right now is to find an American gf and marry her for a green card. So naturally I try to get /fit/, and am interested in pick-up techniques. But I have social anxiety so it's difficult for me.
My other plan is to play the green card lottery starting this year. The chances are only like 1/100 but it's better than nothing.

>inb4 le grass is always greener.
I just want advice. How do I into green card?

>>17502898
You know it'd be much easier to try it out for a while and then marry someone you meet naturally in the USA.

You should try for J1 or F1.


>anyway on to my problem.

I don't know if my current relationship is "enough" for the rest of my life. I could describe it in a way that would make it seem glorious. I could also describe it in a way that makes it seem terrible. There is good and bad and I like my SO but I'm just not sure I like him enough to call it forever.

I might just do it. If it happens, then everyone will be better off. It's a win-win, right?

Take a look at this and wonder why I made green and blue an exception, and not any of you.

Still can't get her out of my head. Even though we never got together, I still can't help but think that it may happen in the future.

Never had a feeling like that with a girl before. I mean I liked them, and asked them out, but I never felt optimistic that it will happen down the line.

I can't see any real reason that it would happen this time around...

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>>17502888
I'm in love with my coworker.
He's got a grillfriend, says their "practically married", bought a house together, dog, talking about having kids before their too old. He's legit everything I wish for, works hard, smart, responsible, mature, genuinely a nice guy, tattoos galore, listens to metal and classic rock.
He's an angel with an AK 47.
But I'm not the home wrecking type, I respect him and don't wanna mess around with his life. Plus even if I did try to seduce him there's the entire possibility of rejection anyways.
He's the Naruto to my Hinata.
But this is the twisted sadistic universe where Naruto is already married to Sakura and I must continue to admire him from a far, in a creepy stalkerish sort of way.
I am in literal hell.

I am 26 with no friends and have never been intimately involved with anyone.

I just want her to come back...

One of my classes this semester has a group project worth 65% of my grade. This scares me so much. I've never had group things be worth more than 10-15% of a class.

I'm interested and I like you. I'm also in love with the thought of you. The night when we went out was the most fun I had in a while. I wish your schedule wasn't as booked and we go out more. Even if you are still busy I still want to try, I think you are worth it and worth the wait. I hope you feel the same, you are the only one to make me feel any type of good in a while.

I just hope I didn't hurt my chances...

I'm pretty sure I'm balding.
The back of my head/nape area is patchy when grown out, the sides of my hair look thin and my crown looks thin too.
Problem is I really can't accept shaving it off, even though I can't stand what it looks like now.
No one I know has pointed it out and I'm afraid to admit it to anyone. I feel like they are laughing behind my back. This sucks.

The night is young, and so am I. I'm going to treat myself. You'll know why.

>>17502931
nah, finding a girl to marry is probably gonna be easier

I have a bit of a chubby fetish too so that only increases my chances

but some work&travel type thing might be interesting too in the meantime

I hide it but deep down I am so lonely. I want to belong. I want to be wanted. I want to have the stability that those feelings provide. I want to cuddle so bad with a member of the opposite sex. I'm the type that gets into relationships just because alone. Why is that such a bad thing? I can genuinely uplift someone's life...

I want to hug soo baaad
Plz hug me

>>17503472
Cont

I want to feel skin against my skin, I want to feel the gentle pressure of hugs, maybe even a body on top of mine. Oh god I just love falling asleep being the little spoon with someone hugging me from behind. I want it so bad

I don't have any friends besides one friend I knew in high school, and I don't even want to hang out with him. I spent a day with him when he came to visit, but it felt like going into work and having to commit to losing my day, even though I had nothing to do either way. I feel guilty about it, but I don't really want friends for the foreseeable future

>>17503580
>I want friends
>I don't want friends

Pick one

>>17503308
cont

back in 2010 I promised myself I wouldn't live through the end of the year. I realized of course that what I really wanted wasn't to die, but for the pain to go away.

I hear all these "Oh I'm so glad I didn't go through with it" stories, but I don't really have one of my own. Six years later, and things aren't really any better. Sure I've got a degree, a decent paying job, and own a home, but these things haven't made me happy. Sometimes I wonder if that's just my role in life... work, spend, and pay taxes so that others can live their lives to the fullest.

sorry for posting all this

>>17503585
I never said I wanted friends, friend

>>17502888
Dear OP, I can see your attempt at bringing back the old image. Thanks.

Find an older image, however, this still has that newish look to it. That, or I might be so desensitized to the new image, it just taints this one.

I'll never forget you. You made me really happy until you gave up.

>>17503636
Sounds like you're the one giving up

If I don't have my money by monday I'm stopping work. if i still don't have my money by mid next month, I'm putting a lien on the house.

if it's on the bank's end, I will be contacting all executive officers and raising hell in about... 5 minutes.

don't fuck with my money.

>>17503644
In a way I did but it's for my own good. All my communication attempts were ignored and you can't force someone to respond.

My ex just got divorced. I can't decide between feeling smug or feeling bad for the poor autist she married.

>>17502888
My boyfriend ballgagged himself last night for the first time and now I can't stop thinking about it and thinking about femdom stuff hahaha oh man I've never seen anything like that it was the 8/8 the sexiest thing I've ever seen lmfao

I'm not good at anything but not because I'm too bad to learn, but because I can't decide what do I want to do.

Wow babe, are you serious? I'm down to date too. Do you wanna try? I wish I could tell if you were kidding or not. You joke about us all the time.

It's killing me inside to constantly compare myself with others. I started later in some activities, it's normal that I am not as good as them. I wish I would be able to accept that it is not too late to start something new, and be able to focus only on my progress, and not feel "threatened" by the level of those around me.

Stop trying to provoke me. I've hardly hidden where my interests lie, so you should already know that I'll just keep looking beyond you

I hate piercings. My girlfriend just got her nose pierced with a fucking bull ring and she's considering getting her septum done too. I think it's absolutely disgusting and I've told her this before. I am considering breaking up with her because a lot of the shit she does just grosses me out.

My GF recently got a job in canada that pays fairly decent but it's only a temp position with a very very low probability to get extended. She had 2 months to train for the position because shes unfamiliar with their process but she hasn't touched the programs they use. Right now she is waiting for her work visa to be approved...

I want her visa to be denied so god damn badly. Or when she get's there she ends up getting fired.

She use to be super chill, very down to earth, and humble. After she got hired for this TEMP position she has turned into a complete fucking cunt. Before she was alright with our financial standings and didn't care all that much for material things like dresses, tablets, phones, ect. All she would talk about is how happy she was to be with me and she didn't need anymore more. I come from a poor family while she comes from a family with a shitton of money. I use to work for a massive corporation and had a decent salary. It made me absolutely miserable however.

She wasn't my GF then either. In the past (until 2008) she went to school in another country where her dad gave her an allowance of over a thousand dollars a month to do whatever she wanted with but I didn't know this until recently. When I asked her what she did with all the money she told me "Are you fucking serious? Are you kidding me?" After she graduated in 2008, she lived in one of her dad's houses where she only paid utilities until 2014 when she met me.

Anyways, she talks down to me all the god damn time now. How I don't make enough money and how she wants a life of a certain "standard" to which she was use to. She talks about how poor I am now and how she is disappointed in how much I make. Which is odd because she has never paid her own rent ONCE in her entire life. She doesn't even know how to apply for an apartment. Shes 28.

We were happy before. She says she's so much better than all those unsuccessful people because she works harder. Better than me.

>>17503948
To continue..

I don't know what she expect to happen. In 6 months shes going to be exactly where she was before. There's no way in hell shes going to save any money and I fully expect her to spend it all.

When we started dating I told her to not expect me to be rich. But if she wanted someone smart, creative, and loving I was the man for her. I told her about my past and how I use to have a high paying job... I told her all about how worthless money is and she would tell me all the time how she agreed with me. How she didn't need the nicest things or a fancy home or car.

She also told me how she didn't like to go out at night or out at all. She would be OFFENDED if someone said she wasn't an introvert. She would rant all the time to me how annoying fake introverts were and how she was...

Turns out everything was a lie just to get me to like her. Why? What's the point in that?

Ex's birthday today, just over a month since we broke up. I was really really tempted to text her happy birthday but I managed not to. Feels like a small victory, but probably shouldn't.

HOLY FUCK I'VE BEEN CLOSING MYSELF OFF FOR FIVE YEARS TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER AND NOW I'M THIRSTY AS HELL FOR SEX AND ALCOHOL. CAN I HAVE FUN NOW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIET.

>>17503243
Holy fuck you are more like Karin to his Sasuke enjoy being cucked weirdo

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moving to a new city and staring living alone are probably the best decisions i have ever made in my life

this new school is awesome, everyone is great ,somehow and i've been impressing my classmates every day by just being myself, now everyone wants to be my friend and they also want me on their team projects

i never knew i had all this potential hidden inside me , in my old city almost no one talked to me and if iever talked about my stuff they ignored me

For all those years i tought i was socially retarded, but i was jut in the wrong place with the wrong people

i think im finally able to feel real happiness again

also with all the new friends i made recently i think i am in the best position i've ever been to get a gf

this almost feels like a dream, now i hope the same can happen to all the depressed introverted anons here

life can actually be woth living

I have a specific fetish for having a clone. I often fantasize about cuddling with my clone and they would be the male one. Today I fa tasized about my clone and this time i wasnt the female. I wonder if this is due to a clone living inside me and wanting to get out or my insecurity and trust issues thus beleiving no one can compare to me. I could not stand to emulate a clone by finding another femalemthat looks like me because 1)im not bisexual 2)i get extremely angry when i see someone that looks like me, which is rare of course. I would be more comfortable with a male who is just like me. I would never cheat on myself.

>>17504337
I thing i would kiss my clone, a lot. Maybe suck his dick.
A female version of me would actually be the most, realistic (appearance and personality), perfect partner.

>>17504367
clone fetishes are so hot

This school friend of mine and me have been friends with benefits since we were 14, but we cut our communication last year and I havent known anything about him until today, when he contacted me and 5 minutes later asked me if we could fuck on monday. He has been a dickhead and hes super dense, loves my cock and ass but says he is 0℅ gay, but the thing is, hes kinda hot, and I dont know what to do.

My life sucks right now. Every morning I wake up and have zero motivation or anything to look forward to. Its been at least a month now and it's really starting to get to me

>>17504383
theres still hope anon
>>17504186

>>17504156
Thank you

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my friend is fucking retarded

>goes out to eat every night for two weeks straight
>never gets a job
>buys tons of clothes and other dumb shit
>fast foreward to today
>crying, saying they're gonna kill their self because they're so poor
>crying because they have to eat rice, beans, bread and peanut butter
>can't afford their first month's rent
>tfw i've been living "poor" for the past few months
>learned good ways to save money, eat good without spending too much
>sacrafice spending money on shit i want and learn2b adult and only buy necessities
>they're mad because i post photos of my meals, saying im not poor bc i can afford chicken breasts
>no, i'm just not fucking retarded when it comes to money

Stop leading me on so long. You almost certainly know how I feeler about you, those feelings haven't changed. If you still want me, let me know. I just want to be with you! You never get out of my head. If you don't feel it, I have to get over you..

I'm deeply sorry for my part in everything that went wrong between us

I love you very much

>>17503964
She's a cunt, dump her.

And be warned that no matter what you do/say to break it off you'll be the bad guy in her mind.

But it's ok because she's just some cunt.

>>17504377
https://www 8muses com/album/tracy-scops-comics/spidercest

>>17504382
Make him your bitch, humiliate him.

I met someone that incites more butterflies and emotion in mearly than my partner has in a long time. This person likes me as well.

I'm moving across the country and they're getting married soon.

Trying to get over it, I cant control how I feel just what I do with it.

I wish I couldn't feel

>>17504515
That's how love works you stupid fuck. You will feel that hot passion in every new relationship. You know literally nothing about the other person and you only see the good things. So in your eyes, this person is pure good and if you do know something bad about them you push it to the back of your mind.

meanwhile you are extremely aware of how the bad things with your current partner. However, that deeper connection you have with them, that love, is why you stay with them.

If you just want that passion you are going to end up a lonely, bitter person that has hurt every single person you were with until you got bored of them.

Grow the fuck up.

Being a "NEET" doesn't stop even after you've got a job ,gone through school or "improved yourself"etc

>>17504490
She was really mean to me in the past at one point as well. I broke up with her then and even told her that even though I still loved her, it felt like she didn't love me with how she was treating me.

She proceeded to talk shit about me to everyone she knew and posted a bunch of lies about me online as well. At the time, I gave her compassion as I knew she was angry at me for breaking up with her. But good god did she post some very nasty things about me. I loved her the entire time though we were apart. It was only a few months but she apologized and convinced me she would stop being mean to me. I believed her and for a long time she was true to her word. It's been about a year since then but... she's right back at it.

I have been amazingly loving to this girl. I never raise my voice to her, insult her, (other than my post here, because anon and hyperbole. Maybe hyperbole. Shes being really really mean) I never ignore her, I always listen to her concerns, I will make flower bouquets from wild flowers and make her treats if we argue. I support her unconditionally and never disagree with her in public about anything. Even if I think she is wrong, I'll still have her back. I do everything I possibly can to make her feel like the prettiest, most loved woman in the world.

I'm mostly confused as to why she treats me so terribly before and recently.

>>17504589
She treats you bad because you accept being treated like that.

E,

I miss holding you, kissing you. Things I took for granted, nearly since the start.

That you replaced me so easily, after five years, and everything I did, hurt me more than you will ever know.

If I had known it would end like this, I never would have made that first trip. And that breaks my heart.

I thought you were so much more, so much better than this.

- R

P.S. Knowing that you are no longer here to read this... I don't know if that makes this worse.

I am so tired of hurting.

>>17504596
I really don't though. I tell her to stop that shit every time and tell her I don't deserve ti be treated like that. She will admit she's wrong every time. She apologizes a lot legitimately.

Often she will turn it around and play the victim after however. How shes such a terrible person and she feels awful for treating me that way. How she doesn't deserve as kind and loving as me. I will forgive her and movie on. Then she does it again.

I realize this is emotional abuse but god when she's good she is great. She's so extremely loving and caring and kind and giving... 60% of the time. She is the most intelligent, creative, and beautiful lady I have ever met. There is no one else like her in the world and I'm terrified of losing that woman I love.

But that 40% where she makes me feel like the ugliest, worthless, and insecure man alive.

I honestly think she is bi-polar to the nth degree. Imagine meeting your perfect partner and your highschool bully in the same body.

I'm fucking tired of waiting to move out of the cities. All cities do is steal peoples youth.

im 20 and going nowhere with my life doing a dead end job washing dishes
i dropped out of highschool and honestly dont know if ill be able to get a ged

i fucking hate myself and want to die because im nothing but a boring loser

my parents where out for the weekend friend and his gf come over for beers and weed we end up in threesome friend didnt like it at all
me and his gf continue to have sex like crazy when we have a chance behind his back

Just fuck off. The stress you are causing me with all of your creepy spies and sending me random nudes that you believe are me isn't going to convince me to let me back into your life. Those women aren't me, and harassing me isn't helping the healing process, you goddamn psycho. It's been almost 6 months, stop it already.

>>17502888
I hate Canadians

>>17503712
True

How can you tell me you like me, and tell me were going to be together, when you don't even put any fucking effort in at all to spend time or contact me.

I'm about to give up on you. I've put so much time and effort into things with you. I've worked so hard for us to be together, yet you act so goddamn indifferent.
If you're not interested anymore, please let me in on your feelings.

Let me hate you now silently, before I hate you loudly.

I'm chubby and no, I don't want to do anything about it.

Everything about my soon to be son in law is great, he's a laugh, he's great with kids, he's successful, he has his head screwed on right about parenting, he makes my daughter glow like no other(hence why they're gonna get married) and the list goes on.

Problem is he's black, and it fucking bugs me big time.

>>17503586
Go study philosophy and psychoanalysis and learn to get through the root of accepting your imperfections like your parent of equal gender being more successful than you will forever make you feel like a less of a provider or the conditional love you parents gave you makes you a pet-seeking whore

The thought won't leave my head

I've tried everything

I've tried more than that

I love you, Morgan

I can't love this life. Or escape this emptiness

>>17504932
This isn't sixbillionsecrets bitch learn to greentext

>>17504777
aww why?
what'd we ever do to you -_-

>>17504930
>psychoanalysis

nice meme

fuck you dad
i love you but you're a toxic piece of shit
as soon as i can support myself I'm cutting you off
mom deserves better

>>17504422
why do people post pictures of their food

>>17504539
I can tell this person never reached the 7 year itch.
"Deep connection" my thundering fat ass. I'm old and I've been in 3 multi-year relationships 8,3,7 and while there is a thought that I might not want to throw something away because of its history the lack of passion is a real serious thing that leads to alcoholism and emotional eating. All that shit you read on the internet about rekindling those fire IS FUCKING BULLSHIT. It's bullshit. It works for people who start to lose interest 1 year in with a person who acts like a monotonous drone. It doesn't work for the vast majority of people otherwise we wouldn't have the divorce rate we have. Marriage counselling? Just tries to ensure that your inevitable divorce won't be a storm of shit flinging.
That "passion" used to a driving force for men and women alike because monogamy wasn't them chaining them to the dirt. That's why it's so powerful and feels so good. That's why so many men and women turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms because the death of that passion can and will happen and all you're left with is a miserable heap of stress and misery that represents the rest of your fucking life.

I love my mother to death but her denying me the medication I need to be able to function may actually be the death of me.

I can't stand my job training. I'm not prepared for any of this and everything is too fast paced. but it's the only job that pays well that Im licensed to do. I like my boss but at the same time they way she does things confuses me and I get frustrated and in trouble for not getting it the first time.

I feel great about finally getting my revenge on you. you should be in prison for what you did to me and you can lick my bloodstain off your fucking carpet. what I did to you will never amount to the 3 years you made my life a living hell. now that I have you in my grasp I'm not letting go.

through sandstorms and hazy dawns I reached for you

>>17504699
doing dishes is awesome. less stress. you can quit whenever you want. you can be drunk. you can listen to music. you don't have to think. you probably don't get paid that much less than the people you work with. You are 20. Not every 20 year old has the "dream job" put in some earbuds and listen to you tube videos and enjoy that shit. Lots of jobs are worse than washing dishes. oh and also no one checks to see if you graduated high school so lie. serious. just lie. and wash dishes and slowly get more educated and be smarter. of course you can get a stupid g.e.d.

Sometimes I stay up all night talking to myself. Mostly insults. Mostly the same ones. There's something pleasurable in reminding yourself that you're a pathetic loser. The way that I interact with people is unhealthy. I haven't changed as a person in five years. I'm still a child. Everything I have at this point I got because I'm lucky, not because I'm unique, or smart, or skilled, just because circumstances happened to align.

>>17504699

Yes you can, don't tell yourself you can't. You'll eventually get that GED, you'll work your way up the job ladder. Acquire as much experience as you can through the jobs you work and the mistakes you'll make. Shit takes time, don't give up on yourself.

I want to write a book. I feel that it's the only way to get my point across.

Its going to sink or swim; either way I'll let it all out and I have nothing to lose at this point.

My biggest fear is being alone. I'm scared that the problem may be nobody will love me as much as I end up loving them. I just want to feel wanted and it destroys me emotionally every day. I have a gf but I still feel this way.

>>17504982
>a bunch of people are shitty, selfish stupid cunts that think only of the present and don't care about hurting someone they love just to get laid do it so that mean's it's ok

You're an idiot.Good luck trying to find that "passion" past the age of 40 you fucking nimrod. Now you will have pissed away any meaningful relationship while everyone else your age is locked the fuck down and you're stuck having to choose from other dipshits like yourself.

>because monogamy wasn't them chaining them to the dirt.
My parents have been married for 40 years now, happily. My grandparent's on my dad's side was married for 68 years, happily. My gradparents on my mother's side were married for 25 years before my grandfather died in an accident before I was bron and she never remarried until shed died 30 years later.

Congrats, you are a piece of shit that thinks it's ok to be a piece of shit because... other people are too?

Constantly bored and hate it.

>>17502888
>Found this on /x of all places. Maybe it will help some of you anons on /adv.

Okay love can be beautiful, but it has to go beyond carnal instinct. Two become one flesh, and that happens during your first sexual experience, and every time you join with someone else hence this is a marriage if it involves love, promises/covenant, and physical union. Fornication is not sex outside of marriage as described, fornication is solely based on carnal desire(lust) or works like a business transaction- think one night stand without strings and prostitution. Most of us think marriage is a piece of paper but it is not. Marriage involves love, a covenant or promise you make to one another, and the psychical union.

Also you bring not only yourself during each encounter, but every person you have slept with. You give a piece of yourself, and so does the other individual. There is a link whether you realize it or not to each individual you having willing connected with on the psychical level that is why it is hard not to fully get over exes or to start seeking out a new fix. Sex can become an addiction, as can masturbation which fixates on ideas which leads to more ideas. An addict becomes isolated eventually because they no longer can relate beyond carnal desire/lust. This is why abstinence has been taught, because of whom you could potentially join yourself to, or ideas that run a muck that leave you emotionally numb/hollow. Humans were not created to be alone, but you have to be careful what or who you yoke yourself to.

Falling for two girls I work with. One is in a relationship already but we talk quite often (like outside of work) and because of that I feel for her. The other is really cool and while we talk at work we don't outside. She has similar tastes and mannerisms to me and the first qt I mentioned told me I should ask her out. I'd like to but I dont want to jeopardize the workplace dynamic that we have and I have the impression that the second girl doesnt think much of me, though that might just be me being intimidated by her since she'd been there for a while and is being groomed for a managerial positon

>tfw first girl want wearing a bra today and I saw her nipples

feels good man

>>17505207
Forgot to mention second girl is white and theres little to no way she'd ever want to be with a fuck like me

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>>17505183
/x of all places
It's based on the Law of Contagion, which is one of the laws of magic. In terms of sexuality, it refers to persistent energetic connections. I disagree slightly with a couple of details, but it's still an explanation that is easier to understand than my more technical explanation.

Adding this to my list of "for mundanes" explanations of LoC. Thanks, anon.

Even if I do get it off my chest it'll still be on my mind keeping me awake all night

Jesus christ, just message me back. I totally kept today free for you and you've either forgotten or you just don't give a shit.
I'm sorry I bailed on you, but I had a lot of shit going on. You didn't seem to mind, like you were too tired to bother anyway. I was really looking forward to today...how could you forget...again?
You really confuse me, sometimes you seem really interested, other times you just really push me away.
I'm going through some dark shit and I really needed this. Now I'm just getting drunk because I just KNOW you're not gonna reply until late or tomorrow morning at work. Why do I even bother with you? Are you just leading me on or what? Because I can't go through that right now. Just be honest so I can either move on, or try to make things work.

I don't hate people in general but right now my introversion is kicking in at maximum capacity and I want to be left alone for a few days.

Please don't drift away. I worry too much. Would you let me look after youd? If you let me, I'd be with you forever

I love you

>>17505343

That picture is what I would expect middle aged women who don't even know how to read their e-mails properly to post on facebook

I wish I could tell you I like you but I dont really have the confidence to. You seemed up for doing stuff and then you disappeared. Which is it ya crazy beech

This is a great way to weed out the weak of body and mind.

To my mother,

If only you knew how empty you make me feel.

Sincerely,

Your son

there comes a point in which. you have to take your own life. into your own hands.

you know that

To all those who read this the buried treasure is hidden in the [spoiler]_____________________________________________________[/spoiler]

I don't know what it is, I really don't. I feel like a 5 year old with a crush.
Like as soon as I saw you, something just clicked. As cliche as that sounds, that's what happened.

I really wish I spent more time with you this past summer. I really do.
I'm glad you're at least one of the last people I saw before I left, but I really wish that it wasn't only the third time we hung out all summer.

I hate seeing you struggle with your demons. I want to fight them with you. I want to take them away. I really do. You don't deserve that. It hurts to see you hurting. I don't even know you like that. I shouldn't feel this attached to you, but for some reason I do. I halted on attempting to associate with other females when I came home because I was that interested in you.

We were just sitting in the car, listening to music, & just enjoying each others company.
Laughing at the music you were showing me, & cracking smart ass jokes at each other.

I didn't want to let go when we hugged goodbye. I didn't want that to be the last hug till Christmas.

"Don't be a stranger."
"I might be a stranger."
"Please don't."
"Please come back."

I didn't want to come back until you asked me to.

When I come back, I want to make the most out of my vacation by spending time with you.
I want to surprise you at work.
I want to buy you a Christmas gift.
I want to celebrate your birthday on New Year's Eve.
I want to end 2016, & start 2017 with you.

I can't. Stop. Thinking about you.

As much as I'm wanting nothing but you, as much as I want us to be together, I can't let my emotions go crazy. Only because I fear that you see me as just a friend rather than something more.

If it's not you, then that's okay.
But I wouldn't mind if it was you.

holy fucking jesus fuck. I don't know anything about what you're talking about.

move on man.

I know better than to rise to a comment like that. I'd rather people think I underachieve than to have expectations of me for their ego competitions

I wish that Ariel would stop running away from her problems, and showed that she cared about me a little bit. She's going through a rough time right now, having just failed at graduating despite the fact that all she had left to do was fifteen pages of a thesis, and then baccing and whatnot, but now she's just not the same. She never responds to texts because she's out with any number of guys that she's currently staying with, and meanwhile I'm left with the emotional baggage of wishing that she would just care about me a little bit like I care about her.

At the same time, that care that I have for her has turned into immense anger because of the way she is and what she's turned into. I constantly think of the best times to ghost her entirely because of the way she treats me. I know she won't get it, she'll look at my ghosting her as a "oh well he is just petty and I can do better" because to her nothing is her fault. If something is her fault, she can't take it and starts wanting to kill herself... what's bad is part of me is wishing that she just would.

Anyway, random rant over, have a good day gents and lady-gents

She will never stop running away from her problems. prove me wrong.

>>17505542
initials for?

I don't know why you're ignoring me. We haven't hung out in about a month in spite of us making plans to multiple times.

Idk. You're just being weird.

I cheated on the woman I love and dont know how to live with it.

She does not know and never could, if she knew it would destroy her.

I think I wasted 1/3 of my likely lifespan to an addiction on the Internet and videogames. Nobody takes it seriously.

I feel bad for having wasted so many opportunities.

>>17505718
I know that feel.
>>17505719
You are a dick. Theres no reason to do something like that so tell her so she isnt stuck with a jerk all her life.

i was supposed to write something for someone

how'd i do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ6b2CcSBow

>>17502898
Why dont you like Germany?

Im an American in the exact opposite situation.. funny how that works.

>>17502898
America will take you in. Come on over

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I am a 29 year old virgin and haven't dated anyone in over a decade. I have never been in a long term or intimate relationship.

>>17505508
That's because it is. It's another "for dummies" explanation.

>>17502888
Fuck politics, fuck it.

Donald Trump should become the President. I wanna tell my future grandchildren stories about fighting in World War III.

>>17502888
Fuck politics, fuck it.

Hillary Clinton should become the President. I wanna tell my future grandchildren stories about peace and unity and how we avoided World War III.

Hey /adv/. My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about a week ago. I don't know if it's because she genuinly wanted to or because she pitied me but we kept in contact at my request. It was a long distance relationship so we talked over Skype and watched stuff together. Just about the only thing you can do and such. Anyways, I drunkly wrote out a letter for her explaining that I would do the best I could to make up for my flaws and for her to take me back essentially. I just showed it to her and she rejected me flatly. She said she thinks we should keep our contact to only text for a moment. The thing is I'm scared she'll cut out contact all together. She's never lied to me before to my knowledge but I know she wants to protect my feelings. I want to keep talking to her. I get that she broke up with me. I'm starting to get over it. But she's also my only friend. Literally my only friend. She's the only person I talk to on a daily basis. I speak to her more than my own mother. I'm scared /adv/. I think I just fucked up my best and only friendship because I was selfish about trying to get back together. I'm really scared she'll leave me forever.

>>17506237
just end it & move on man
keeping contact will make you miss her more or something
gotta get over it & get back out there, gotta make some friends even if they arent irl friends
have more people to talk to, i mean
go to interpals net and make a profile and shit you'll get bitches from all over the world to talk to
best of luck to you, you've got this

T you fucking bitch, you never give a shit about me you just said what I wanted to hear, I hope they get gangbanged by a bunch of Std ridden festies

>>17506334

*i hope you

>>17506218
bad bait

>>17504887
Initials?

I messaged 4 different people today, all of which I have different relationships with. One of them is my best friend. Nobody has responded back yet.

I want to die. Nothing makes me happy anymore and I don't want to meet new people - mostly out of fear of rejection and "adjusting" to new social situations. I'm too socially awkward for my own good.

>>17506732
if you feel this is for you, contact me.

>>17506741
Hey man u gonna post some pics of that huge back u been patting urself on?

Today marks the day I come to peace with my oddness.

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There is this really qt girl in one of my classes. I didn't really think anything of her at first until she randomly started saying hi to me whenever I have that class. She strikes me as very friendly and I thought then and there that it would be nice if we could be friends (I love friendly people).

However, what really made me interested in her was when during a class, random jokes from the louder social students at the front of the class were making everyone laugh and smile, but she didn't. She's generally very social, so it struck me as different, and I suddenly wanted to know more about her. I hope I can chat with her outside of just "hello" next time we have class, maybe even get close enough to where I can invite her to a coffee date so we can chat more. I wonder what she likes, dislikes, what her goals and dreams are. What kind of political ideology does she follow, or if she wears socks to bed.

I feel pretty shallow for getting so worked up over a girl for such a small reason. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a boyfriend, or simply just not interested in me (I'm not all that special). If so, that's fine. Even if she rejects me I'd still love to chat with her about random things.

I won't settle.
I would rather have nothing.

>>17504639
You will start healing once you let go.

It's time to let go.

I was serious about us dating
It feels so familiar. I want to cuddle with films, and go for walks holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes. I want us to jump and rock to the beat of our music, and inhale each other. I want us to share our deepest fears and reassure each other, so many lovely, warm hugs. And I want to run through soaking rains, and have you slip deeply inside me, it's so fucking hard not to melt into your arms, I can't wait any longer

People laughing at your feelings behind your back is probably the shittiest thing ever.

What an odd misunderstanding. He wanted our talk because I disagree with him. That's all this is, a one-to-one disagreement, rather than the pathetic game of anonymous conflict. I don't like him, at all, he's arrogant. I'm just the kind of person to say that directly

>>17506288
Thank you for mentioning interpals. I'm not strong enough to just stop messaging her. We were friends before we started dating and I just want to go back to that time.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

>>17507092
Ah yes anon.

Whatever we sow, we reap. Wild oats sown become weeds that only exist to overtake us-mind, body, and soul. Leading one to become overgrown, uninhabited, and forgotten in the end. Can you understand now the lies passed down from generation to generation?

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. This I know well.

>>17506915
How do you let go of the Sun?

lol forget what I said yesterday. It's not real. I know it won't be. I'm pretty done. I just want to meet some new people and more friends.

I really like you but I can't commit. I want too as I haven't had a relationship in so long, but I can't be with you whilst you have someone. I can't morally be involved in cheating. Why can't you understand it's one or the other? You can't have both.

>>17506937
I hope you're strong enough to not let it invalidate your feelings.

>>17506931
Ugh anon I thought this was about me
Until "slip deeply inside me."

I know they'd never have written any of this anyway but still

I swore I'd never post on this site again. This is the last time I let myself be triggered by shit I never did. I get it I'm ugly fat and going through a self induced fuck fest. Whatever I did whatever you thought or assumed I was going to do I'm sorry. I really want to be left alone. So much has been assumed and taken into consideration to the point I can't tell what's bait and why. I wish I could but I can't bring myself to ruin someone else's life over something I don't fully understand . Can't bring myself to assume anything I can't prove. I'm really sick of this. I just wanted to walk around didn't have shit to do with anyone of you. I'm done with this. Fuck it if it's that serious to fuck someone over fine. I tried and will continue to try to better myself. I'm keeping my mouth shut and going to start working on myself tomorrow. I don't want shit done you can't convince anyone who won't listen. People are going to do what the fuck they want at the end of the day. I'm just going to enjoy the fragments of my social life that hasn't been fucked up through misunderstands. Good day

just feel sad all the time
i'm always tired-unhappy
i am never happy alone, i'm only happy or just not sad when i have someone talking to me. why can't i be happy by myself?
i'd even be happy with someone in my time zone i could talk to often. i've had this several times before but lost it. i wake up, i check my phone and all websites and messengers and stuff and never anything new. I know it's my own fault and it's an entirely stupid thing to complain about but i'm just so damned lonely

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Recent girlfriend told me she doesn't like me doing cocaine, did it and told her I didn't but admitted to doing it after about an hour

She seems really pissed off but I don't know if she will break up with me

What do I do?

I've tried ringing her and shit but she's with a friend and I feel obsessive if I carry on but she says she's gone to bed

What do guys?

>>17507560
Probably some coke couldn't hurt

>>17507566
I was out with friends doing it and told her but I've decided to go home but I just feel so bad

Should I leave her until she messages me or what?

>>17507560
quit coke you dipshit, if not for her than at least for yourself. you know it's not going to lead anywhere good.

I miss you so much CC,

I wish I was more important to you. I'm glad I had the strength to cut you out of my life, even though I hate that I had to. You made me cry more than you made me smile. You always say sorry and have excuses.

I wish you knew there are two parts to an apology.

Dumped my gf of 1.5 years about four months ago because she wasn't very smart and didn't have many aspirations. I then continued to pursue a lost love, which went well for a month or so, but now we're at different universities and too busy to even talk. I'm not sure it's going to work out.

I'm starting to come to the realization that all of my current friends are just people that I get along with because they're smart enough to have interesting conversations with and have similar interests. But they really don't care about me at all. And I'm the exact same. I've been so selfish that I cut off this girl who was so deeply in love with me just because I sort of felt like she was holding me back. Now, I have no one who cares about me. Everyone I know is intensely pursuing their own goals, but it's hard for me to keep doing the same when I feel so alone.

Three hours. What a terrible disagreement

>>17504923
ahahahahahahaha fucking cuck

enjoy your niglet scum grandkids

>>17507422
initials?

>>17507422
Anon, make up you God damn mind

>>17507627
You shouldn't have

I wish I never had my son.

>>17507968
Hey man as a son of a mom who fucking hates me it's never too late to let someone else have the kid and love it for real through adoption.

>>17507968
Why?

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I'll see the vibrant colors soon.

>>17507528
I don't know man your post reminded me of that song desperado by the eagles. Anon you would not be triggered if something did not ring true. You should not think so badly of yourself either, some people probably love you as you are even if you do not believe that.

You need peace in your life anon. So let it all go and try to forgive people, so you can be free. Also, be glad you cannot bring yourself to ruin someone else's life, only immature kids, teens, and tweens pull that shit to deal with their pain.

You may not want to listen either, but again something is bothering you. Look deeper inside yourself, and I hope you find the answers. Everyone needs people who really care about them in this life. To avoid misunderstandings just communicate clearly with people from now on. Best of luck and peace be with you anon.

Thanks for the herpes and gonorrhea, dick.

>>17508334
I don't think talking to your dick is gonna help, anon

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I want to be a guy. I don't know how to tell anyone or what I need to do, but I'm tired of being a woman.

I've tried being hopeful but the only words I can find are those of anger and despite preaching of every religions teachings I continue to forget my own advice. Each high another mistake to be made the past is a dream I haven't woken from. Forget the future its just a broken escape. Empty bottles crowed around me as they get ready for the kill though I'm sure i'll bleed out before theres any thrill. Its been a long time since I've taken my first step and this mountain seems to keep getting steeper. Every breath getting deeper and deeper. Tie a noose around the neck of time lets hang it high as my mind. In the winds of change what will we find? Every time I try to write it ends up in a rhyme. Wheres the satisfaction in malfunction or broken contraptions? Abused and beaten attractions riddles with contractions contradicting your misguided actions. All I wanted was a sliver of hope but all I got was a rope.

>>17507717
I know lol I'm sorry. It's not really my fault. They keep messing around with this and we're friends and I can't be serious because I'm pretty sure it's actually a joke. I'm fine with being friends just frustrated with myself that I'm feeling a little more and that I have to keep up with their (and everyone else's) joking. They don't know any of this so I think it's fine I don't make up my mind exactly, because it's on me anyway.

>>17507707
GG

I don't know what to do with my life.

I have a shitty (albeit stable) job that won't lead my anywhere. I have no friends. I'm not liked by my co-workers. I don't have a degree. I'm 24. I don't have any friends. My depression makes me unable to find the courage and the motivation to move forward. My health is shit so I can't get a better, more demanding job.

I'm lost, I'm alone, and I can't see things getting better in the future.

The ugly thoughts are coming back again, and it's becoming increasingly hard for me to keep them at bay.

More than anything, I'm scared.

I'm a fat fuck who has his relationship's sex in his hands and I can't see how can I NOT fuck it up.

Que Deus perdoe essas pessoas ruins, de novo.

>>17508379
Cc?

I'm 21, was with my ex-gf for 5.5 years, she kicked my ass 3 days after my 21st birthday, it looks like she's interested in a """""friend""""" of mine that I met on university at the start of this year. It's the third time we break up because she starts to get too friendly with guys, because girls are boring... Last time we broke up, she was 17 and she fucked her 30 something years old Kung Fu teacher after 1-2 month of our break up, and only told me after 8 months that we were back together. Well, it's been a month that we broke up, I'm doing fine, like, I know she doesn't deserve me, but I don't know if I was in love with her or just comfy, so I just didn't have the balls to break up and live the single life, as she was the girl I kissed for the first time. She blocked me from eveything and that """"friend""" of mine too, only kept me on Facebook and WhatsApp, I'm not mad at him because I just don't fucking want her anymore, I still like her, it's been 5.5 years and only 1 month without her, but I have a life to live and she was a whore, she was also a great friend that's the shit... Well this text has almost no sense I think, but whatever...

>>17508572
What is happening Anão?

>>17508524
You can get through it anon. It will be a river of shit but a way will find through. Stay strong.

>>17506931
And I wanted to as well. I just need to sort my self and life out first.
But... Uggghhh... I doubt you can handle my crazy...

If this is for me, that be...

>>17508572
Deus está morto

>>17502898
Get a degree in a technical field, such as computer science or electrical engineering, then apply for a job with a tech company here. They'll sponsor you a work visa, then you take than and apply for permanent residency, then after 10 years you apply for citizenship.
That's how my dad and many others did it. Much more reliable than the visa lottery, plus you start out with a great job and a nice salary (eg $80,000/yr). Good luck.

>>17503586
>Sometimes I wonder if that's just my role in life... work, spend, and pay taxes so that others can live their lives to the fullest.
I know that feel, man.

I do like you. I like you a lot. I'm extremely afraid of relationships though after my last one. I wanna have sex with you and live with you and do other fun things. I'm just scared of the buzzwords girlfriend/boyfriend. I also know how far away we are from each other, and I don't know when I'll be able to travel. My anxiety is awful as you know. I'm sorry I spaghetti'd when you asked me to be your gf. I hope you don't think I was being a cunt and just rejecting you.

>>17508983


Anon please tell this person. I'm sure they will be so happy. Just don't give up. And communication is key. Even just saying this will put you ahead because now at least you will both be on the same page and can work out a plan.


How far is the distance anyways?

I'm in a rut with dating and god damn I'm starting to question why I even bother. I spend all this time trying to find someone who is actually single and willing to go on a date in the first place, and then I have to find someone interesting to do and pray that she is into me and doesn't have any major personality flaws. It's so goddamn tiring, I'm starting to understand why once people find a partner they are willing to stay shitty relationships for years.

>>17503243
it's always nice to come to /adv/ and be reminded that girls can be massive autists too

Im almost 30, hasitate to dump my gf coz emotional issues and being alone...

>>17507614
If your intials are A.D.B:

You are the most important person on my life, I had a lot of time to think about the stuff that is going on, I going to win Anna, Im going to win over the depression, Im determined to do so, Im going to take my life back, Im not going to let it going berserk any longer.

They say you do not know what you have, until you lose it, well, now I really now what I had, I had you, the most amazing person I've ever met, the best.

I don't want to cut you out of my life, these past weeks without you were weird, I felt empty, T. helped me a lot, to the point that I regained my strength, and Im gonna use it, I'm gonna win this once and for all.

I feel strong again, I feel like I can regain the control over my life.

This is not an apology nor an excuse, this is a statement, I'm not gonna try, I'm already doing it.

I wish you would read this, I'd really like to have you back, to hear you laugh again, but if you want me out of your life, I won't force you to do otherwise


C.C.G

>>17509123
I apologize but no. My initial is T. I am rooting for you though.

>>17509145
Oh well, I had to do it nevertheless.

And talk to C.C. maybe he wants to change whatever is going wrong between both of ya.

I am a goddamn idiot...

Also... My movie isnt working and im disappointed.

I consider it good timing. Don't get me wrong, I'd flirt with her if I could be bothered to deal with all of that, and I do think she's adorable. But at the same time, I'm not interested in a relationship and I maintain my lack of interest in anything like that on a casual basis either. So, as you can see, while I think she's adorable, that's all it is. I think she's cute and we have common interests so we could hold a decent conversation for a while over a variety of topics, but I'm just not that kind of person and she hardly knows me all things considered. There will never be anything beyond that

>>17508379
Yes, being a woman is indeed exhausting with the added sexual tension.

>>17505155
I'm actually married, loser. And each day is a fucking struggle. You can talk about muh silver anniversaries all you want but those marriages are from different times and a different culture. Where a career was a one time stable thing and hedonism and permanent sexual fulfillment wasn't shoved down every orifice two ways from Tuesday.

You must be under the misunderstanding that you're some kind of moral superhero here when all you are is a know-nothing loser bully picking on someone else in this thread for "having passion". Hypocritical, egocentric piece of fucking trash is what you are. And you think you can come up on me and call me a piece of shit?

Fuck off back to your conservative backwater shit hole.

>>17509193
fuck i hate sleeping because then all these dumpy fat americunts come out to project their insecurities on other people.

>>17502888
I had an NTR fetish since I was 12 what the fuck

and I just figured it out days ago after taking up reading manga

>>17505155
oh yeah and you do find that passion, it's called adultery. something that existed a lot in those imagined perfect marriages you think about when you look at your grandparents.

>>17502888
i have genital warts on my dick and im scared shitless about what to do

>>17509165
I've given him many chances. His actions tell me he's fine with disappointing and ignoring me. I have noticed I'm priority Z on his priority list A-Z.

>>17509221
Nothing can be done about it. Post blurred pic (bc of sfw board)

I have had a service dog for 2 years now for seizures. Dog has legitimately saved my life 3 times. I am starting to get embarrassed to the point I don't go anywhere anymore because she will go with me.

>>17509226
Oh well, try to distant from him a little, if he cares, he will come back.

>>17509272
I told him to basically lose my number after he ignored me for umpteenth time. Next day, said he's been stressed with work. Didn't mean to upset me (same old story). Told him I didn't appreciate it. Blah blah. Then I didn't hear anything. I wish I hadn't texted him back. I wish I left it at his hollow apology.

>>17509272
Thank for the hopeful words. But if I mattered he would've tried harder long ago, right?

>>17509291
>>17509299
well, it is really hard to answer that, too many variables and such, like I said in my other post

"They say you do not know what you have, until you lose it"

I hope he realizes that, I really do, you seem really hurt by his actions

>>17509391
I am really hurt. Even if he does realize it, I'm terrified he'll just sway me with words and then it'll be the same old story again.

I wish I wasn't the neglected one.

I've never had a home.
I had a military family. I grew up moving every few years.
I was and haven't been close my family. I haven't spoken to my parents in weeks and my sister in months.

I hate that. I hate it. Family is the only thing worth while.

I keep watching TV (good fucking TV) that compounds that message.
I watch those episode and I can't help but cry.
I miss my family.
I miss having family.

I don't think my life trajectory has room for family. I hate that and I can't stop it.
I think I'm moving 1000s of miles away soon.

Don't be like me, people who read this. Be annoyed by your family. Be annoyed that you have to deal with their need and love on a weekly basis.

I have no centre and never will.

>>17509470
Then he needs to change, he needs to acknowledge what he did, but thats something only he can do

As an averageish looking lesbian, ill probably never have another girl interested in me that can stand me long enough to get into any sort of relationship, even friendship

should probly kms but i dream

>>17509470
>I'm terrified he'll just sway me with words
From what i've read on here over time, lots of people are afraid of this.
I've always found it strange though.
If you talk to him about something, and he presents a convincing argument that you should do X instead of Y, then doesn't that simply make X the better option?
Are you afraid because you intentionally want to take the worse option, and you're worried he'll successfully logically argue for the better one?
Or are you worried that he'll emotionally manipulate you into choosing a worse option?

>>17509715
I'm worried he will talk me into giving yet another chance for him to "prove" himself. I've taken him back in my life more than twice. He does exactly what I don't appreciate (we've had talks about appreciation), I don't talk to him. Then he apologizes, we talk, he fucks me, ignores me. Rise, wash, dry, and repeat.
I really still like him. Idk why. All I receive is hurt. But this time I'd rather be lonely and alone than to go through that again.
At the same time it's 5am, I have to get up at 830 and all I can think about is him.

>>17509508
I hope he will. I'm beginning to lose hope. Something I probably should have lost long ago

I don't love her anymore and she knows that but now she's open to doing more weird stuff in bed and I don't know what to do.

Im sorry for being a very dumb and annoying friend.

>>17502888

For the first time in five years I have the chance to really be happy, but ever since my ex-girlfriend cheated on my, I can't trust women.

I love this girl, she loves me, she's given me no indication that she's disloyal. But I think I'll never be able to trust her, I'll always be insecure, and I've doomed it from the start.

I would redo many things as a child.

I realized that most people aren't good. They put on an act and laugh at you behind your back and when you're down they keep kicking you. And after that they lie even more just so that they themselves can end up looking good. I just kinda stopped caring about people, it's just better to be on your own so that nobody can use you. Because that's what people do, they only think of themselves and use other people to gain something. All of this made me realize that I probably have Aspergers.

>>17509501
Im sorry. I could have done have done more all throughout your life.

And again, i fucked up.... Jesus Christ.
I over think every damn thing!

i was thinking about raping my ex gf.

>>17502888
I want to be pounded like one of those hentai girls but without the pregnancy. It doesn't help that I'm meeting my crush tomorrow. He has absolutely no romantic interest in me. And my vagina has decided to go completely numb and despite being horny I seem to be incapable of orgasms. I can only hope I don't somehow accidentally blurt out that I want his cock in the middle of lunch.

I wish i didnt take 4 shits 3 days ago and clogged up my toilet until now

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>facebook: anon, you have 67 new notifications, 1 new message, 17 group updates, and 1 new group invitation
I have to check it and respond as needed eventually, but i keep putting it off.
Transferred to a school in a different country, and judging from the 1 message i guess someone noticed.

>>17509955
Being jaded/somewhat misanthropic and having asperger's are two different things, anon.
People with asperger's rarely attempt to determine or understand other people's motivations, since this is extremely difficult without deep insight into their emotional processes.

And i'm sorry you've run into bad people, but keep in mind that not everyone is that way. Look up (pro-/anti-) social orientation, SDO, hexaco HH axis, and other related concepts (they try to measure people's predilection towards the thoughts and behavior you described).

Over the last 12 months iv dropped 30+ kgs and im basically optimal weight. Im now constantly complimented on my good looks and how handsome iv become. I loathe obese people now. But all the years of humiliation have scarred me and no matter how many compliments I get or even how well im rated (im 8 supposedly), the only thing that makes me happy is rejecting women and burning them even if they try to attract me. Not all girls, but basic bitches, average girls, the ones I always thought were the perfect balance.

its sad really, how girls pretend to hate this type of guy, but honestly im having more luck than ever with this outlook

Nigger, do not beep at me and proceed to hit on me.

How long are you going to make up excuses and pretend you're happy for? You're not even lying to me, you're lying to yourself.

>>17502888
I'm in love with my employee she has a daughter and is 6 years older than me!

Couldn't stay hard with a girl last night and felt the most pathetic I ever have in my life. She stroked me hard but as soon as she put the condom on it just went soft. I ignored it and just ate her out until she came but I felt defeated. I don't know when we'll try again but I think not masturbating until then will help. Anyone have experience with this?

>>17509048
Pretty far. I'm down south and he's up north.

I'm packing my stuff with my boyfriend and we're about to move across the country in like a day and I'm having second thoughts. The relationship has been great for lIke 3 years but my biggest issue is how much he micromanages me and talks to me like I'm stupid. We've talked about this before and I don't feel like he actually acknowledges it or tries to change it.

I love him and he's good to me but I'm starting to wonder if it's worth feeling like I have to be on guard all the time.

I'm going to have no one but him when we get to the west coast and that scares me a little.

I'm going to prison just because someone lied to me and I feel so stupid and I'm probably going to die in the first day, it's really easy to tell from how I look that I don't belong in prison.

>>17510343
What happened?

I hate where I work now.

I'm so fucking angry right now.

I just put on a shirt that I typically wear and realized it's fitting loosely now.. So I went and stepped on the scale and saw that I lost 5 fucking pounds. I'm so fucking angry. I've been working out and trying to put on weight, which I did. But to step on and see I just backtracked makes me so fucking mad.

I'm suppose to be meeting up with a girl next week. I'm going to have to cancel now because I don't feel comfortable now.


FUCK

I think I've been ghosted by my best friend of 9 years...

I'm getting cucked.. :(

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Yesterday evening my gf of 5 years dumped me and I cry like a little bitch all day. I still want to tell her so many things, but I'm not sure if I should contact her. We were always a perfect couple, but had to go through a long distance relationship for quite a time now. And I think that's what killed it. I want to convince her that it'd be like the good old times, as soon as we just live together again.

Goddamn, why?

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I wish you'd chase me. I wish you wouldn't give up just because I said no. But I know you will, and I know people you know will probably trample all over me.

Just please have mercy.

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>>17510522

I'm gonna miss you.

You know, if you had gotten on your knees and begged for forgiveness, I might have stuck around. But how can I trust someone who will likely forever harbor ill will towards me? You can try to repress it all you want but if it's there, it's a threat. It would be like shacking up with a hungry lion. That shit be spooky.

>>17510319
>We've talked about this before and I don't feel like he actually acknowledges it or tries to change it
Then don't let it slide. He will keep doing it as long as possible, since it's what's comfortable for him. You have to break that comfort, make him understand.

A big mistake women often make is trying to do this with big angry outbursts when it finally gets too much to handle: guys will think "oh she's just mad for some random reason, maybe PMS or hormones or something", or that it's a matter of his personality in general and out of his control, and they figure you'll relax later and everything will be fine.
Instead, men understand much better when you correct them or point it out immediately when he does it, on the spot, every time. Then he gets that it's a specific thing he's doing that he has to fix, not a generic problem of "the way he acts" or "how he treats you" overall.

My mother had to deal with that kind of shit from my dad, so i know how it can be. If you let it go on, it'll just keep piling on you, on top of the stress that comes from being in a strange place with only him to rely on, and can make you pretty damn miserable.

>>17510264
If you were sober and it happens again, see a doc. Could be a blood pressure issue or medication effect that they can check and fix.

I really wish I didn't act the way I did. And the worst part is that anything I say will only make it worse, but I still feel such a powerful need to express myself. I hope that this wasn't the last straw and that I can learn from my mistakes in the future.

im 40 and im still a kissless permavirgin
i want to die

I wanted nothing more than this relationship for two years and when she finally told me that she always felt the same it was amazing.

Now I'm losing interest and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.

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>no debts
>graduated with bachelors degree 4 years ago
>make ~55k a year on art commissions
>work from home and pick own hours
>able to see parents every weekend
>live with bf of 3 years
>work together really well, never argue
>have awesome dogs
>already went on 2 vacations out of the country this year
>lifting consistently for past 3 years
>finally strong and getting aesthetic
>buy collectibles whenever
>have 2-3 good friends
>still really fucking unhappy

what am i missing? i want to kill myself just as much as i did 4 years ago when i had nothing. it's not like i'm just so sad that i want to off myself. i just hate having to do anything. sometimes i enjoy things in the moment, like when i hit a PR at the gym or play with my dogs, but then the happiness fades really quickly. i am almost always anxious about money or some freak accident happening to my parents.

i've been on meds before, but they tended to make me either sleep a lot and lose interest in art completely (which is a problem considering that's how i make money) OR just make me cry all the time. plus, i've seen misdiagnosis/the wrong meds land two of my closest friends in the mental hospital.

i just don't know what to do.

he's lovely
the sun was in my eyes

>>17510085
i was in the same spot and then i gained it all back after like 5 years
but then i've been through a lot of shit, i don't know about you, but at my lowest weight i was like eating 600 calories a day. who the fuck can put up with that through a divorce and infidelity and all sorts of shit, the rest of my life is too long

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I just drive 400 miles for the last 13 hours just to get away...

I just had my heart crushed by the woman I loved and lost nearly a grand on an epic adventure trip...

I broke down today...

I had to leave town...

I haven't been this angry in so long that I scared myself...

I wanted blood, but I didn't at the same time.

So I left. I drove straight to the desert and stayed there.

Part of me wanted just to keep going, but I had nothing waiting for me if I were to.

I was so angry at her. She blamed me for everything.

... but now I think I'm going through the stages of self guilt and blaming myself for everything.

Normally I don't like to think like that. But I ruined it. All of it.

My friends and family say no, but I feel like it is.

I'm about to pass out.


I'm not asking for help or anything. I just needed to vent before I passed out.

When the endless summer begins do you promise to stick around?
I don't post here anymore. I just feel like it tonight, I mean, it's 3am and I have nothing better to do.
I promise the endless summer will be beautiful.

my company is full of fucking retards. The management makes me laugh. You give the people who have been busting their ass for years the shitty shifts and the people that just started the shifts that people want. Then you go and wonder why people leave?! I've put in my resume to a bunch of companies. I cannot wait to get a call back so I can work with a hopefully competent management team.

>>17502888
JEN you fucking twat how many time have I told you NOT to bring your dirty shoes into the bathroom

I'm so alone. I just don't know what I want to do anymore.

>>17502888
i have a job-interview in the near future and i´m pretty nervous about it.
i got a recommendation letter from a family friend who works there, which is a small bonus but still; i need the job because i need the cash.
my qualifications also are pretty good and i have work experience
and the job type is really appealing to me and i´m very interested in it - so it´s not just for the money

living on life sustain mode for 3 months now and it sucks - those circumstances also make my head make up "what if i don´t get it" scenarios which just scare me

Met a girl a few months ago and she had planned long before she met me that she will move to another town and after that live in South America for a while.
So if she and I are going to keep being together it has to be a long distance relationship. I really like this girl but goddamn I am going to miss her so much.
Should I just give up on her? We haven't been together for that long but if we make it I can probably move to her town a year from now.
But I don't know if I can handle a long distance relationship for a year.

Fuck.

>>17510956
ldr for just one year? get your shit together, man. if you feel that she's special, just do it. ofc you can fail, but if you don't even try it, you will die of regret and what ifs.

>>17510956
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/08/14/how-to-sustain-a-long-distance-relationship-5-tips-i-learned-from-my-wwii-grandpa/

>>17510921
Same here anon, what's your story?

My friend told me to send him a resume and he will recommend me. I lied to him and his friends before when I said I had worked in a shop (I have no actual work experience). Should I lie in my resume? If an employer asks me I'll just say the place closed down and that the people I worked with probably don't remember me or something.
I lie a lot.
I've fucked up by spending all these years not getting work experience.

>>17511020
lying is always a walk on the blades edge man, if he´s a good friend maybe tell him the truth - he could be cool with it

if he´s no good friend keep the lie up and stick with your story - lying always surfaces someway


i stopped lying after my teenage years when i learned that it always takes a bad ending and hurts people - and myself

I just bought a sex dungeon. Just wanted to share that with everyone. It's a tent and I have an air mattress. We can't have sex at our parents houses, and his parents are hardcore Christians but he isn't

Good day everyone

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thanks for not being here for me...

All that judgement I got as a kid both at home and at school really fucked me up.
I literaly wasted most of my life to the point I don't even have memories of most of it, only the more recent years. It's like from 6 to 16/17yrs old is all one massive white canvas with little gray spots.
I guess I put my mind was in a stand-by state during that time.

I can't get over my ex, it's been more then a year since we broke up. I tried everything to forget: drugs, alcohol, sex with random women. Nothing helps.

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who remembers this cartoon?

>>17502888
OP here. Just wanted to report in that she is pregnant. And also i blacked out yesterday and had a paranoid psychotic episode and for 3 1/2 hours it was basically me accusing of her being an FBI agent, telling her she knows too much and that I have to kill her, and then laughing hysterically a shit ton

>>17511404
Hit me up any time... Wtf...

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I think I'm pregnant because I've been having all sorts of symptoms similar to it for the past 7 months and my friends think I am

R and A, for the love of god why did you guys fucking unfriend and block me last Friday? What the fuck did I do? Is this about the whole barrisoka thing? Come back, I need you guys

17511615 ftw

>>17511419
holy shit are you me?

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I want to be a girl.
I want to be cute.
I want to be pet on the head.
I want to be hugged.
I want to be loved.

>>17511588
this cartoon was my shit!

>>17511694
You can have all of those without being a girl

I want to be able to get it off my chest but I dont know how to put everything in words. This is actually a thing I want to get it out

>>17511694
I used to as well, until I fell for her, until she said yes. I may just be a starry-eyed teenage boy experiencing first love, butright now, I am happy.

>>17511700
But I wanna be a cute girl.

>>17511404
im in the same boat, everyday a friend comes to me with a problem and i help solve it. i have a problem one time and my friends are like sorry im busy.

>>17511616

I want everything to go back to the way it was, when all 3 of us were happy. I swear to god if they abandoned me over a damn SHIP, I don't know how the fuck I would feel. I've gone on /co/, /r9k/ and now here for advice and it sometimes help but I'm feeling empty inside. I feel like a part of me has rotted away.

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What the fuck is wrong with me?

I barely talk to a girl, and somehow I get into these delusions that she likes me, or that I had a chance or that id like her, but then she doesn't notice me when I do see her, and everything just crumbles down and I get really upset and bitter. The entire class I was in was laughing and joking and having a good time, but I venemously shut everyone out. I'd think "I'm not like them" and "they'd never accept me". It balloons into other things like "I'm ugly" and "why the fuck would anyone like me?"

I am generally an anxious person, but I'm not depressed. I just get into these really emotional states over something so trivial, and I knowingly build myself up and know I'm going to crash when I hit reality. I feel like I feel too much, and get influenced by others way too easily.

>>17511812

I'm an anxious person too. I worry about tiny things that my friends may do, like if one doesn't answer me, I sometimes panic and think I did something wrong

Wow. I was just about to get off and my mom fucking comes home. For fucking fucks sakes. Fucking go somewhere.

>>17511677
haha no

>>17511701
just try to explain the situation or something faggot

>>17511821
Now I'm just fucking angry and have to dick with college bullshit.

I am addicted to PCP. It makes me psychotic but I love it. It has interfered with my social, academic, family and romantic life. I still do it, I've even gone through the withdrawals and quit multiple times. I love it and I might just let it ruin me.

>>17511935
lol ew your poor mother

>>17511948
No wonder A left you.

>>17503975
Lol I did it because I'm weak af

>>17512083

If you're referring to the post about A and R, that's me. But I am not the anon you responded to (I don't do drugs)

I went my entire first day back to College hoping that I'll run into her.... But nothing

>>17512097
No I'm not. I'm responding to pcp boy with cat piss smelling home

>>17512106

That sucks anon, do you want to talk about what happened?

>>17512097
if you dont do drugs idk why the fuck youd think that

>>17512125

Ah ok. It's strange to see that he said that he may let PCP ruin his life

I feel totally sick (with pretty generic symptoms: headaches, nausea, vertigo) and this has been going on for years. I see many doctors and they say that there's nothing wrong with me. My exams are good, I'm probably just stressed, I should just see a therapist and take some vitamins.

I've been doing all that ever since and yet there's not a single day when I don't feel awful... I'm so tired. I literally don't know what else to do.

I sent a friend request on Facebook to this one girl that i feal atractive to her. Me and her didn't get to talk alot since i would only talked to her when she started Conversation with me since op was super shy person. She already accepted my friend request but know i dont know if i should send her a message or wait few days. O really want to talked to her but dont want to screw up since op has necer done this. Im a Betta when it come to girls.

>>17512142

Hey I know on some level how you feel. I've been having nausea, fatigue, I guess a bit of mood swings, bloating, and lots of lower abdomen discomfort. I don't know what it is, either. There's no way the cause of your sickness is stress, if it's been for years, in my opinion

>>17512154

Wait until tomorrow and message her, she accepted your invite so she likes you to some degree. Just got to keep calm and you'll do fine. I have confidence in you

>>17512126
Just a stupid thing.

I'll probably get over her at somepoint.

Earlier post of mine
>>17503154

>>17511863
seriously though man, that non-existent childhood is a bit of a bummer and yeah, you probably did miss out on a lot playing video games and stuff, I regret doing that as well.
There's not really much you can do about that now, but what you can do is live in the now and not let that past of not doing shit affect you or something, fuck what people say and shit.
I can't really say anything though so I'm kinda going through same thing so yeah

>>17512178

I'm sorry, dude. Stay strong, and you'll make it through. I'm trying to get over some people also

>>17512192
Yea. And its not like we ended on bad terms or anything.

I probably could text her right now, and have a nice normal conversation. But I feel more comfortable with her in person...

>>17512172
Thank you. I Will not let you down.

>>17512203
If I see her in person I suppose I could see if she wants to hang around the place and just talk?

>>17512208
No problem
>>17512215
You could. I think you can do it, but remember, she may say no thanks. But I think you'll do fine

>>17512226
Yea, but Im not gonna go out of my way to text her or anything.

Only if I run into her. Not gonna bring it up otherwise. Probably not even contact her.

I apologized for something stupid I did. She seemed receptive, but Havent spoken to her since (Probably like a month now)

>>17512248
I agree, I think if you run into her, that would be OK to ask.

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Post vacation blues, not knowing when I'll see my friends again and lingering thoughts, mostly critical of myself due to a bad shroom trip, has left me feeling really shitty.

I think I'm just going to fap then vidya. I know this will pass but it saddens me every time I have to say goodbye to people I see less and less each passing year. Going back to the daily grind of trying to find sustainable work makes it worse.

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For as long as I can remember, even as a small child, I've struggled with thoughts about suicide. I've got a pretty great life all things considered but I've always felt like I shouldn't have been born. I don't think I will ever kill myself but the constant beating of the drum in the back of my head wears me down, and I don't know what to do about it.

>>17512256
Yep. I just hope I don't see her "friend" anytime soon...

He started to act real strange near the end of last semester. Like he saw me as competition in getting her

>>17512303

Try not to let him get in the way, and if he tries to possibly fight you, just ignore him. I doubt she is into him

I like you A. Goddammit, I have a big crush on you. I haven't felt like this in 10 years. I don't get it.
I like you, I like you a lot. But I will never tell you, because I know I don't have any chances with you. Please be happy.

>>17512302
Have you ever considered therapy?

>>17512313
Yea. she seemed to only like him as a friend if her reaction when he tried getting her to go somewhere with him.

Also, as far as I know, he has a GF alread

I hate that you said you loved me this morning..and made me the happiest woman
and now you haven't come home! and I don't know if you're dead, hurt, with friends, doing a night shift..or screwing someone else. We need to get to know each other, it's hurting me

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M,
It's been almost 5 months since that last time we talked. I miss you, my giant huggable teddy bear. I think of you a lot, and I hope you got more self esteem. I remember you talking so lowley of yourself, even though you are one of the most beautiful people I've met, and I hope my words helped you see how great you are. I hope you're doing well. I wish I told you that I love you.
-M

>>17512358
hmmmm which M? As that could describe an M I know

>>17511615
same goes for you homie

>>17512327
Yes, I was briefly in therapy as a child (my dad took me out because he thought it would turn me gay) and a couple times in college, but it never really helped.

They have me talk through my childhood and tell me that's messed up and I need to get over it, but you know what? I think I have gotten over it and risen above it, but I still feel a frequent pulse to just die.

>>17512335

Then she doesn't have any interest in him and he may have a GF, don't worry about him so you got a good shot, my friend

I love my new boyfriend but I'm not sure where we stand, I want us to be exclusive

>>17512383
I could just green text the whole thing. (Have it saved actually) Might show better insight

I wrote it, addressing a guy named Matt

>>17512368
Forgot to hit reply
>>17512391

>>17512390

I'll read it, you don't have to post it if you don't want to

>>17512395
Oh, I am dealing with a girl named Maggie, so, obviously not the same.

But I know two Matts who are quite like that....

>>17512401
I don't mind

>Meet M. at end of January
>She sits infront in Pub Speaking
>She's cute enough,
>Start to like her
>Ask her out in Early April
>Say's yes, Friend R seems to force his way to tag along
>I ask her out to get coffee a week later
>"I'm Busy" with now counter offer.
>I stop for a month, other than occasionally speaking in class, and an odd text here or there.
>Most day's we don't acknowledge each other, sometimes talking around each other
>Mid-May rolls around. Invite her to hang out with friends in the City
>Busy (Her Bro's Graduation from College)
>We agree to hang out soon. No dates set, as we both have finals
>Text her randomly a week later asking about the graduation. We end up talking for 5 hours, with another short thing the following morning
>Invite her to a thing in the City that Saturday. (Again with my friends)
>This time she's doing stuff with friends. No date offered again.
>I asked her out a week or so ago, (Via Text as thats the only comms I have with her)
>Looks like her phone is kinda broken due to the text sending as an SMS and not iMessage like usual
>So, No reply
>Try to get my mind off her
> Randomly a friend texts me about her.
>Because of him reminding me of her, I check to see if shes back on iMessage.
>She is, so phone is back and working
>But still no reply.
>Spoke to her a week and half after I asked her
>She made no reference to when I asked her out.
>She either is avoiding it, or never saw it (Though she did accidently send ;) but quickly corrected it to :) )
>I sure as hell am not going to bring it up again.
>Text to see if shes free to hangout with a friend and I
>Busy, graduation party
>Did not buy it
>Sent this "I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but if you don't want to hang out at all just say so."
>She does not respond
>I check, and see that her sisters HS did graduate the following day.
>Now I regret it.
>Apologize. She excepts it, and explains how she was so busy during summer

>>17512379

Maybe medicine could help, and for me personally, therapy for anxiety didn't help

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I'm sad because you won't stand by my side and try to help unless we're dating.

I know one person who would be willing to make such a sacrifice and I can't overstate how much I respect them for it.Caring and forgiving someone who has torn you apart is, truly, the ultimate act of devotion. It feels downright heroic, even. Angelic, holy, otherworldly. Someone who would. bend down and accept searing pain again and again, willingly, just because they want the best for you.. it's humbling to watch. I wish you were that brave. I wish you could understand. I love you, even if you're a wuss.

>>17512403

The one I'm talking about is a blonde hair blue eye 6'5 guy

Here's a thought everyone with abandonment issues has: Deep down, I wish I was worth enough for you to chase.

It's hard to imagine never talking to you again.

>>17512417
I know one like that....

NYC area?

>>17512406
Hmm, I don't know if you guys could have another relationship, but I think you guys could become friends again. But anything is possible

where the fuck does the time go

>>17512429

He's from Colorado

>>17512435
It's that odd area where basically anything can happen.

Nothings really pointing one way or another

>>17512409
I'm going to try to get medication when I can, but right now I'm unemployed and don't have health insurance.

>>17512438
NVM then. Just seems to be a trend with M's I guess?

Eric, I have such a crush on you. You're smart, driven, and talented, and you have a goofy sense of humor beneath that initial aloofness. I think we would actually be pretty great together, although I have no idea whether you'd agree. Feeling serious regret about my marriage...the pressure to stay in it is strong despite the bleakness I'm foreseeing in my sex life. How can I tell an otherwise wonderful guy I'm just not attracted to him? Wishing I could turn back time and meet you as a single woman.

Ok, it's off my chest!

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>>17512442
Yeah, I wish you luck anon
>>17512447
Sometimes venting it out, like talking about it in threads, can help. A guy named Dr Feels makes threads at night and he tries to help people, with all kinds of issues. I haven't seen him for a day but check it out if you want.
>>17512452
I assume so, guess everyone with M's for first letters of their names are having issues lately

>>17512467
I actually posted my situation in one of those "What's her Name threads" and two people had almost Identical situations with a Maggie.

So, M's just are strange.

>>17512474

May I ask, what situation do you currently have?

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>>17512292

I know that feeling and post vacation depression is rough. Just hop into a project during downtime and maybe think of vacation ideas for next year. Shrooms can be kinda weird and fuck with your head so don't be too hard on yourself. If you know you need to improve something about yourself then do it, but don't overthink your flaws or try to scale a mountain in one day.

Also cherish the fact that you have good friends and the time/money to hang out. As an oldfag I'll say getting older definitely sucks (people have kids, move, etc.) but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying these times. Having good friends (I assume living in different areas etc) coming together like that is a blessing.

Take it easy, bro and know this feeling isn't uncommon.

>>17512487
I'm the one who just posted the greentext.


It was an shortened basic overview that I posted, but still.... Kinda funny

>>17512321
Initials?

>>17512412
Why don't you love the other person? They seem more right for you.

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Thought it kinda funny how I just opened this thread to whine about my life and there's this funny little message on the page with an abvious hangman's knot (actually an add for /diy/ apparently)

It's like the world is trying to tell me something

>>17512499
I didn't realize you were the same person, haha. Hopefully things get better

>>17512534
Hopefully. Just can't get her out of my mind....

And knowing me, the only way that will happen is if a year passes since last contact, or if another girl comes along and overwrites her basically.

Obviously thats assuming that it doesn't (Which will be the probable outcome

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>>17512561

I know how it feels with trying to get people out of your head. Along with my M situations I have this:
>>17511616
>>17511751

Iustwannadieokuatwannadieijustwannadoeijustwannadieijuatwannadieijustwammadieijustwammadie

You're reacting to the wrong thing, you little dork. What's gross is that submissive as fuck "I want an owner" thing that was just spouted. That's gross. Why is it so hard to stand as an equal?

>>17512751

Backstory?

>>17512776
There isn't any, I was merely getting something off my chest, no need to elaborate

>>17512778
Oh, sorry

She wants me to go out and get a full time job but when I want to go out for some fresh air or a change of scenery, suddenly she has no idea how to live. She needs help with everything when I'm not available. Twice in a row, this happened. I can spend hours asking her what I can do for her and only get an answer as soon as I'm putting on my shoes. Today I left her completely alone. I didn't leave the house but I didn't say a word to her. She didn't need a damn thing. She never asked for a damn thing. She only needs anything when I'm about to leave. That's real fucking rich. Manipulation at it's finest. She won't improve her life and neither am I allowed to improve mine. But I'm responsible for her fuckups. Fantastic.

>>17512185
Thanks man.
I can't really blame anyone for my non-existent childhood thing. Can't say it's my parents fault for not noticing something was wrong, but I can't blame myself either because I wasn't aware of how things really were back then.
But anyway, you're right and I wish you all the best.

>>17511441
Love

>>17511404
Maybe they are down themselves

>>17512391
>>17512395
Another matt here. Common as hell name. Yell it in a crowd and 5 people will turn around.
It's a nice name though. Friendly and decent. Hard to hate.

>>17513121
I dont know what you mean?

>>17513312

I came back to this thread to check in, I'm the anon who wrote a letter to a boy named Matt, I like that name too

>>17502888
Starting to fucking hate everything. Fucking hate black people and I'm black. Fucking hate how I haven't had sex in almost five years. Fucking hate how nobody but desperate black people talk to me.