What do people talk about? I don't understand conversations,

>>17498290
Frankly, you sound like the type who will just have to learn to live with this.
Thankfully, there are a few people out there who you may be able to interact with more naturally, so try to find them.

From my observations so far, this type of problem is caused by non-verbal communication processing defects, which leaves you unable to naturally and easily engage in the kind of interaction that comes very easily to most, the same way a computer without a GPU must perform graphics calculations using the CPU, which is much slower and more resource-intensive.

In this case, interacting with people who communicate mainly verbally and/or avoid non-verbal stuff is much easier. Autistic people are all included here, since they're typically awful at non-verbal communication and need to rely on other methods to get information across. Others who do this because of personality quirks or other psychological issues are also reliably easy to talk to.

Good luck.

>>17498316
I certainly do find talking with aspies and other assorted fringe types much easier but it's still quite unfulfilling. Perhaps I should just accept my lot.

>>17498290
90% of all conversations are NOT about the small talk subject, but just excuses to be together and be friendly.

Bear with this explanation. Monkeys and apes like to "groom" each other, sitting together and picking nits from each other's fur. Now, getting rid of nits is good, but biologists have spotted that it's really just an excuse for sitting together and showing friendship.

People don't pick each other's nits (usually) but we do the equivalent by sitting around talking about weather or sports or TV or gossip. WHAT we talk about is not important (as you can see by the way we don't get deep into any of it) - it's the sitting around being friendly that it is all about.

You can be part of that communal bonding without having a lot to say. The occasional "Yeah" or "I agree" or even "That reminds me of..." will hold up your end and let you share in the warm friendship that is the point of the experience.

>>17498488
I do talk a little bit, but I never really bond or feel like I share in anything. Sometimes I'll stop meeting with friends all of a sudden and that's it. I never see them again and I don't feel like I've lost anything. They're good people and I'd help them if they asked for it but I still don't feel any sort of connection.

>>17498488
I'm in a similar situation to op, how do I develop the conversation into something deeper?

>>17498608
Spot the person in the group who seemed into it deeper than the others. As the group splits up, take him aside and say "I liked what you were saying about X. Can we get together and talk about it some more?"

Holy shit, I have the exact same problem except I learned that you can actually have a deeper conversation by the tone of your voice. It's extremely weird but it's like if you can get your voice to sound deeply interested in what they have to say it's a whole new conversation. Also questions (not simples yes or nos) get you far, really far into not just the day but the hobbies. Aside from that thats all I got from forcing myself into social groups.

>>17498290
Turbo seek help, you are mentally ill.

Same problem here but I kinda overcame it thro teaching and mentoring. First of It's kinda easier to speak with people who are older or younger than u so when u are teaching u can use some pauses to fake a small conversation and continue whit that what u were telling. Thro this u can collect interesting stuff that u tell others in other fake conversations. U kinda get good at it with time but it always fells empty and useless...

>>17498316
>>17498383
Very interesting theory. I've also noticed that it's sometimes easier to talk to people with possible mental issues (alcoholics, junkies and other recluses ).

>>17499168
Tone of your voice isn't the only thing. Speed at witch you talk, the way you form sentences, words you choose, gestures and a lot of other stuff is important. You can read a lot about it in PUA and NLP books (most of them are shit, but they do have some good ideas). Too bad I usually get overwhelmed by trying to pay attention to all of it and end up sperging out.

>>17498488
What a sad and unfulfilling way of life we have.

>>17498290
OP, you seem like you're afraid of your emotions, and letting yourself admit them, and other people being aware of them.

Is there anytime you do like to talk that doesn't just involve spouting facts? Maybe when you work with someone, or when you discuss something with someone you've known a long time?

>>17499374
Funnily enough I'm more at ease when I'm teaching newbies the basics at work. People say I'm easy to approach because I'm always so relaxed but the truth is I'm just a totally apathetic guy who puts on a smile to hide myself. But yeah, like you said you still feel empty doing it.

>>17499168
>>17499776
I'll take these points into account, and see if I can analyse/change my speech patterns if I need to.

>>17499945
>OP, you seem like you're afraid of your emotions, and letting yourself admit them, and other people being aware of them.
This is true. I've thought about it before and came to the conclusion that it because I mostly feel negative emotions. I don't think it's fair to be that negative guy who's always bringing everyone else down. To admit it and to change it (if I was even capabable of such a thing) would also involve other people changing their perception of me, and I worry it would be for the worse.

Hey , whats with the southern accent tho?

>>17500577
Everyone gets negative emotions. How do you normally deal with those. I find I tend to keep quiet the more negative I feel

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>>17498290
You could be depressed, see a doctor/shrink.

Or you could be pic related.

>>17501167
If I'm at work then I'll work even harder to avoid thinking about things. If I'm at home I'll veg out in front of the computer instead.

Hey OP. I actually wrote a reply to this thread a couple of days ago, but I was unsatisfied with the results, so I just gave up posting like 90% of the time. Anyways, I believe that an anon hit the nail on the head when they theorized that your social awkwardness might be attributed to the fact that you are afraid of confronting your own emotions, consequently making you refrain from expressing genuine emotions during social interactions. What makes me think that is the case is that I am very similar to you in regards to what you discussed about yourself so far, and I actually think that I am hiding those emotions from myself and others. I have managed to improve my social skills during the past month, but the issue I mentioned is still there.

Something worth noting that also happens to me (although it probably does not apply to you) is that I have been feeling extremely more empathetic towards everyone. Due to the fact that I have a keen eye and have been engaging in social situations a lot more lately, I have been able to notice subtle hints about a person's mood and general personality traits. Now, the thing is that I was high when a good portion of the social interaction happened, and that makes all the difference, mostly because weed is what made me observe what is happening with me mentally, psychologically, socially, et al. Not only that, but it also made me feel less anxious and more prone to engage in conversations with acquaintances and friends. The only problem in all of this is that now I am basically an empathy black hole that absorbs almost perfectly what others who surround it are feeling or going through, but also does not let anything out or comprehends its own emotions.