Greetings! I've recently found out that my girlfriend has

>>17496909
So, is this an official diagnosis, or are you playing armchair psychiatrist?

>>17496909
Change nothing.

I mean you got together with her being yourself. Make being yourself part of her normal and eventually you become a fixture in her mind permanently.

Basically why rush what time can fix.

>>17496909
that sounds strange, because i met a schizophrenic boy who kept messaging me on facebook in a intimate way even when i blew him off and he was upset at a girl not liking him.

>>17496925
Official. She's been always aloof, but I guess she has enough emotional capacity to understand that mental disorders might be a bif of a... Turnoff, I guess, so she was hiding the stuff. There're papers and all.

>>17496935
Well, I doubt it can be "fixed"... From what I understand, unless the disorder causes major distress, they don't even treat it?.. I mean, she has prescriptions for what I guess is social anxiety, but that's it, that's just how she is.

But maybe you're right. Love is about trust and acceptance, so I just got to accept that she's this kind of person, and trust that she will eventually warm up to me, clumsy as she may be at showing emotions.

>>17496937
Apparently there's a thing such as "secret schizoid", which are people with SPD who somehow managed to reach a kinda stable state where they can simulate emotions in social events, but still remain aloof otherwise. Although since it's Internet, this might be a case of self-diagnosed "tumblr style" dude, or one with something different entirely.

What's fucked is that I came here for the same issue as you, OP. Girlfriend has SPD as well and I also need advice on how to change my approach.

Does your girlfriend have a rough past or childhood?

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>>17496909

You need to ask her if you can sit in on some sessions with her psychologist or therapist.

If you are ABSOLUTELY sure that you want to go through with this then the only way to work around her disease it to understand it intimately.

Now, her therapist or psychologist won't be a couples therapist but they will most certainly be able to give you a little bit of insight as to how to support her. As for supporting yourself, there are a ton of support groups and online forums for partners of people with mental disorders.

Surround yourself with support. If you're going to go all in, go all in. If you're struggling, seek out a third party (psychologist or therapist) to help you two work through these issues because due to her disease she will be incapable of talking through some of her issues the same way a normal person would be.

And lastly, if she doesn't have a therapist or a psychologist or some kind of mental health counselor helping you guys through this your relationship is 100% guaranteed destined to fail. You WILL NOT be able to navigate her issues without the guidance of a mental health professional.

If she currently does not have a therapist or a mental health counselor you need to immediately seek one out because this relationship will be impossible without one.

If you don't have a mental health counselor to help you through this and support the both of you you'll eventually come to resent her for using you as her emotional crutch and you will collapse under the weight of you both.

You can't carry the weight of your life and hers simultaneously. She needs some kind of autonomy and support system outside of you for any of this to work.

>>17497034
>From what I understand, unless the disorder causes major distress, they don't even treat it?

Here is a cool thing about psychology... Not everything is a pathology. If her personality is "I don't give a shit about you and don't want to be attached" we can write a label on it but unless she wants to change its not a problem.

Which leads into

> I will eventually marry her and make her happy. I just want to know how should I behave around a girl that's afraid of intimacy and emotions.

This is the real problem. You want to change some chick because "she's hot, has the same hobbies and was nice to me in a rough patch". You can't change people who don't want to change.

If she doesn't want to change. If this isn't a problem for her... then realize she won't change. You have zero right to try and fuck with her personality for it to be what you want.

>>17497102
Yes, she have been through a lot, just like me. Kinda how we met and ended up propping each other up for 5 years now.

>>17497118
Thank you! Yeah, I'll ask her about her therapist, that sounds like a good idea. I'm hitting the online manuals and encyclopedias, as well.

>>17497164
Well, she herself does not mind her disorder too much. I guess she was suffering bad enough at some point to get actual papers and prescription, but since then have been stable enough not to bother too much about it.

That said, you're right to assume that I thought about trying to change her. Being extra careful because of shitty life is different from being emotionally blunted due to brain chemistry, but it can be changed with love and patience. A disorder, however, cannot.

Hence I'm asking for advice here. I don't want to mutilate her mind because I want a trophy wife. I want to be the person who would be by her side through her worst, one she can rely on. I don't want to press her into anything, either. That's why I need to learn all I can about her disorder.