>late 20s >everyone around you getting engaged, marrying

>>17496466

i think the problem is that you're equating being in a relationship with being happy, and its not.

the native americans had a spirit totem for the bobcat that teaches those born under its guidance how to be 'alone without being lonely'. this isn't to say they were meant to be hermits, forever alone or permavirgins. just that they need to learn how to be happy on their own cuz, like dr seuss said, alone is something you will be often.

if you aren't happy, take some of your hobbies and try to externalize them. no matter how introverted your hobby may seem, there are at least people who want to sit around and talk about them over a drink.

if your response to this is
>BUT I LIKE VIDEO GAMES OR BOOKS AND THOSE CAN ONLY BE DONE ALONE

then you didnt actually read my post. if FURRIES can have conventions you can meet someone to just discuss similar hobbies so ur nto on 4chinz all day.

that being said, 4chinz isnt so bad. i met a guy off 4chan, and now im abotu to be a groomsman in his wedding.

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Make a bunch of slips of paper with various things to do that you never can bring yourself to do. Put them in a hat. Draw one every day, and do what the slip says.

>>17496477
But the thing is, generally I am happy. Going home and playing vidya or whatever can make me really happy.

The problem is, I'm getting to the point where if I don't start getting girlfriends or whatever, the ideal time of starting a family will pass me by.

>>17496503

do you want to start a family? i mean i know theres some inherent desire to have kids, but i cant wrap my mind around thinking 'im running out of time to have a family!' when im single. like, theres no one to have family with, so why would i care?

its kind of like the idea of a relationship itself. i cant speak for others but i cant 'want' a relationship because there is no one there to make me want it.

does that make sense? i imagine others are different. judging by this board everyone wnats a relationship but they dont care who is in it.

>>17496513
I'm somewhat envious of other people being in healthy, fulfilling relationships. You're cut off from so many experiences in life without it.

I understand what you're saying, though.

>>17496466
Just live and enjoy your life. I'm in my mid-30s and single. Many people of my age are married and with kids. I do sometimes envy them, but then again there are positives - I can do whatever I want, while my married friends have lost most of their freedom and have to be home with their family instead of being at the pub, taking vacations, whatever.

If you find the right girl, then great. If not, then keep on living the good life. Don't become desperate and settle for the first girl who comes along - it's better to be single than in a lousy relationship.

>>17496526

>you're cut off from so many experiences in life without it.

really? like what? i mean as long as you've been in a relationship you gotta the bullet points of it. yes there is the aspect of raising an actual family, but you arent running out of time for that really.

one thing you also have toconsider is that, assuming you are reasonably okay looking and have a college education, men become the dominant gender in dating again.

you see there are more college educated women than there are men. lets pretend (For the sake of this) that colleges a re 70% women ,and 30% men.

women REFUSE to date (as a generalization) a guy who is not college educated. so all 70% of women have to share that 30% of men. now in college and early years after the girls are bouncing around a lot and having high standards, so the 'lower' worth college men dont get as much.

but as you get to thirties and forties, those men have asked women to marry them, and theres a LOT of single women who are left competing for the few remaining good men.

you also have to remember that men are a LOT less likely to have the high standard of education in women. as in those 30% of college educated men are willing to date non educated women, as long as shes hot and good wife material etc.

so thats even fewer men for those girls to have.

tl;dr you will have more options with women as you get older, just make sure you EXTERNALIZE your hobbies. im not saying give up vidya and 4chan, but it doesnt hurt to go out once or twice a week.

final point: stop focusing on what others have. focus on making you happy with what resources are available. you are a long way off from having kids, but kids wont make you happy. they may make you miserable. focus on what can make you happy now and see where life takes you. just be active.

when you are in a relationship you very rarely stop to think about the experiences you're getting. you would find a new reason to be sad and jealous.

>>17496564

this. grass is always greener. married men long to be single again. single guys cant wait to settle down.

but if you can make yourself happy now, you at least know you had a good life, even if wife and kids never happen.

there will always be things in life you wish you had the chance to do. but if you can still be happy, then thats great.

>>17496569
>>really? like what?
Having someone you can trust even more than a best friend.
Having an activity partner for nearly anything.
Having someone to share a bed with.

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>>17496466

>Be 30
>GF left me in January
>Cunt took all my money
>She sold my Blurays
>No job but get NEET bucks
>Slowly saving up and getting back on my feet.
>Live in a big super nice house with a super nice Canadian landlord/roommate.
>Without the GF, completely stress free.
>Going to college and getting free money.
>Still fuck 21 year grillz because I'm funny, handsome and witty.

Don't be afraid of being 35 and not having a GF.

Get a job you like, enjoy some hobbies, just take it easy.

Not everyone in the world grows up to be a Nobel Peace Prize winner.

>>17496614

>trusting your future ex wife more than a friend

dont make me laugh

>having an activity partner for nearly anything

holy crap that autism

>having someone to share a bed wtih

you got that part right.

those who trust their wives more than their friends come to regret it when their wife takes everything and their friends are no longer around to help them.

don't be ignorant. you are glorifying marriage. those experiences you want can be done without getting married mate.

>>17496503
No. You are wrong.
If you honestly like being by yourself, then that is what you should do for now.
Getting into a forced relationship in your late twenties, because its normal will only get you into a loveless marriage in your early thirties, with some shitty kids in your mid thirties, and a bloody painful divorce in your late thirties.
I am 32 years old, got married 4 years ago, because I fell in love. My wife is 26 years old and we will not have kids until we can really afford it and have a little more of a cushion (give it 3 more years). Why? Because we are both responsible adults.
This is not 50's, you have time. Your sperm doesn't go bad that quickly.
Younger woman (mid twenties) like older men (mid thirties upward) that stand safely in life. If you take care of your body, woman will still like you in 5 years. Probably even more. You will find a good one if you look for her, then.
If you want to start
> actually building a life
now, because YOU want it here is some advice:
If you are religious, get active in the community. Go to a church group for young singles.
If you are not religious, get active in the community. Volunteer and meet some young singles that have at least a bit of of a kind heart.
Or join a club; Minigolf, Lionsclub and Rotary are some options among many.
How about tutoring in a neighborhood near you?
Basically, get involved in something that is not to elitist and make some friends. A woman is already looking for your future you.

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>>17496616
I'm 26
job, flat, friends, social life, wide interests
ended long term relationship and it seems I'm stuck now

Seriously I can't see myself with someone from this point. Chicks of my age are getting married or engaged and if they are not then they are either so unattractive that I'd prefer to be alone or are crazy used skanks being left alone for a reason hunting for some cuck sucker to take them in their 30's.

I don't want go clubbing, clubbing culture is totally non-compatible with me and I'm already too old for it. I thought about online dating but still what kind of people use that, It's probably full of creeps, psychos and daddy issues. Hitting on people on street is PUA creeps pathetic shit and I'd die of cringe had I ever done such shit.

There is like no hope. Good ol porn'n vidya to fill the void.

>>17496503

its like we keep telling you

>enjoy your life as it is now
>just put yourself out there so if you do meet someone who is worth settling down, you have the chance

that doesnt mean settle for the first girl to show interest. you'll feel your way.

but stop insisting you need to be married right now, its silly.

>Late 20s.
>Have shit dead end job and no education due to having a wife and kid I need to support.


Get your fucking schooling done OP, having a wife and kid doesn't make your life "better" or more "complete", stability does. So until you have that stability don't fucking bother, you'll just set yourself up for disaster.

>>17496674
>>>just put yourself out there so if you do meet someone who is worth settling down, you have the chance
Well, that's the main issue. What does that entail?

>>17496701

im going to post a copy paste, but whatever you do, do SOMETHING. its all about externalizing your hobbies and trying new things. i never thought id get a date at dodgeball, but lo and behold.

if you finish your 'research' saying 'nothing i saw today sounds interesting to me' then you are too stuck in your ways to deserve to date. if you cant try new things for yourself, you cant for your partner, and it will implode. here we go:

advice

>dont just hit on a woman

its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.

give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.

doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.

>>17496717
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.

dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in

so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.

they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.

if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.

you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.

it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.

>>17496721


>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.

effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.

the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.

so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.

go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.

you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.

its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.

>>17496725
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!

andd for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.

Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.

This thread is surprisingly positive.