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Few months back I met a girl through dating website. We started chatting a lot, and after a month started dating. We clicked almost immidiately. Due to the fact that she was taking care of her mother (she died in July) and lived outside my city, we hanged out only during weekends. During this time I provided her emotional support, and stayed close to her. I met her family, she met mine. In after she recovered a bit I invited her for weekend and we had good time. On beginning of August I wanted to do something special (we were going out for 2 months) so I cooked a dinner and prepared a bath for her.
Few days later she cancelled our holiday plans (a couple of days in another city, where she always wanted to go) due to work.
We met for one day afterwards, had really nice time together (she left 3 hours later than she planned). However in the end she wanted to say something but did not had courage.
Afterwards she was a bit weird during whole week, so I felt something was not right. She cancelled our plans for the weekend (we had tickets to concert) and said that she will not come without giving reason. Last Friday we had a talk - she was afraid, she felt interior to me and that we do not fit - she was afraid to engage in the relationship because of this. After a long talk she said that she need to think.
During weekend we had few more serious conversations, about our goals in live, what we want from relationship etc, and the result was that we want the same things. We had another call on Monday and decided that she will visit me this Friday.
During this whole time we were talking normally, with a lot of drifting to sex and flirting and joking a lot.
Today she sent me a message that she will be unable to come on Friday. Saturday - she does not know. I asked if I should visit - no, please do not come. In the mean time we kept joking and flirting.
In my last message I have asked if something is wrong again. And joked that she requires a lot of effort.
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>>17492622
Continued:
Since then I remain silent. She knows how do I feel about her (the same way as she told that she feels about me). Should I ask her about weekend around Friday? Or just remain silent and give her time to think?
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>>17492629
What concert ?
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>>17492641
Local rock band. Nothing special, but she liked it once I sent her few tracks
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You need to give her the ultimatum.
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>>17492652
How long should I wait? Right now I am out with friends anyway.
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>>17492652
Can I do it via phone? Meeting in person might be quite hard by I can go with car (1 hr drive)
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>>17492659
>>17492667
Based off of what you've told us (she keeps cancelling plans etc. etc.) seeing her in person sounds like it will be difficult. I think calling her on the phone and telling her what you've told us should suffice.
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>>17492629
I would leave her for a while,like a day or two. Let her think, if you always there for her, she looses interest.
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>>17492622
Think about whether or not you really want to be in a relationship with someone who acts like this. This sort of behavior is unlikely to change -- she's always going to question the relationship, she's always going to want to cut things off and bail.
She's also probably going to continue to be a flake.
You might want to consider that her feeling of being inferior and that you two don't fit may be very correct. At least in terms of level of effort and consideration.
Don't be so desperate to have a girlfriend that you're willing to pursue and settle for someone who doesn't behave in a way that you don't like, in the expectation that she's going to change.
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