idk what to do about boyfriend. last month, we went on our first

>>17492250

i haven't contacted him since, i was gonna sit outside his house and text and call him, but i just held back the tears and drove him.
i know that I'm not going to contact him first, but i don't know whats going to happen. i need a really good apology- what if i don't get one?

I'm just so confused because i love him so much, but i feel like the way hes treated me through all this is so wrong, and that i shouldn't be with him. I'm so confused and lost and hurt...

>>17492250
Break up, go see a psychologist and move on.

>>17492272
see a psychologist for what?

and yeah, like i really love him, but after last night, i feel like that's just a sign. he literally just went to psycho because i asked a question (again maybe it was annoying, but i was nice about it and was trying to cuddle and love him). it really hurts.

>>17492250
im definitely not an expert when it comes to this stuff so i wouldent take what i have to say too serious.

your boyfriend sounds like he has become desensitized to your feelings. he is treating you awfully. i understand he is disappointed that you where not well during the trip and therefore he couldn't enjoy it properly but its not your fault, you where sick. he should be more understanding and caring about your feelings. i would never treat my girl this way, i would feel like too much of a dick.

if i was you, i would seriously consider breaking up with him.

>>17492282


yeah, i mean, i was going to give him another chance, to be there for me after we realized why i was so sick. but then after last night, what he did to me... locking me out his house, screaming at me, and locking the doors, for doing nothing wrong and just trying to love him...

i love him so so so so so much, but i just feel like what he did was so awful. i want to give him a chance to have a really good apology and prove he can learn from this, but i don't know if that will happen. if i could see that hes truly sorry and learned what he did wrong and realizes it and admits it, i would give it a chance. but I'm scared he wont, maybe he wil break up with me himself too....

>>17492250

Break up.

If this is real, his levels of narcissism are self destructive. He only cares about himself and what image he can present to others to impress strangers.

I've seen this behavior before, and it never ends well for the people that get attached.

>>17492314


this is indeed real. i would type more and get into more details and worse things if there was more space.

yeah, i thought things like that about him before. and his last gf is fucked up now, so maybe youre right.

i wanna have a happy life, and a happy normal loving relationship....

Sounds like he is mad at himself for something he's done. He could have cheated on you and is taking out on you because of the frustration he must have on himself.

Ask him what's wrong, because obviously he's not 'alright'.

>he also failed to comfort you when you needed him, so if he fails to explain his reasoning, then expect the same for the remainder of the relationship unless yall fix it right here and now.

>>17492324


yeah, that's also a possibility, he could have cheated one me at some point and feels really gulty about it. i don't know i don't even wanna thinkabout it anymore.

ive been through so much in the past month, that i literally just don't even wanna think about it anymore, i just wanna be happy, and what he did last night was so awful.. i have no idea why i would stay with him, stay with someone who makes me feel like that.

>>17492286
unless he is really down and depressed, he has not real excuse for treating you this way. i suggest telling him how you feel and see what he has to say. if he still doesent give a shit, he obviously doesent care about you.

>>17492354

yeah theres no talking to him. like i said my plans right now are just to see if he contacts me and his a sincere apology, but he could either
a) act like hes mad at me (when i did nothing wrong)
b) not talk to me again (probably not likely, but possible)
c) break up with me (which would leave me really confused and hurt, but i guess that's life.)
d) come to his senses, apologize, and... change....

I'm not contacting him first no matter what, and I'm going to make him sweat it-not replying for several hours after. if i don't get an apology or phone call, i might wait more than a day

If this is real, your boyfriend sounds like a terrible person. It's inhuman to not comfort a sick loved one.

Anyway, you have your answer. It's over. Do not contact him again. It's hard but, he isn't healthy for you

You have /adv/ to talk to, or also consider getting a therapist that takes your health insurance

>>17492391


yeah idk. i guess so. its just so sad to me, i lost my virginity to him and weve been together a year and a half, like we had plans of a future together...

it just hurts.

what do you mean don't contact him again? like do you think he will contact me? ahh, whatever. i mean obviously ill respond and give him closure if it comes to that. but yeah, i felt like its been over for a month, since we left vacation... and ive only been seeing him once a week so ive been getting to be more indepdent and okay on my own, so i guess its easier for me now than it would have been

and I'm not making this up ha.

>>17492389
if i am honest... i think he isnt ready for a relationship and he will end it soon. just remember, it was a fault in him and not you if he does end it. you done everything you could, and you deserve to be in a healthy relationship. i know its really hard when a love one treats you like this but sometimes we have to be really strong and do what is best.

>>17492405

yeah i guess.

i guess i am scared of him breaking up with me the most. I'm scared of him leaving me, when ive done nothing wrong. i haven't been perfect in our relationship of course, but I'm talking about now- the present. it will really hurt me if he leaves me, but again i have to remind myself its not really my fault.. its just him. ill be okay.

Grow some self esteem and tell him to fuck off. If he tries to come back apologizing, tell him to fuck off. He sounds exactly like my ex who was only ever concerned about whether or not he could play shitty anime sex simulation games or get a free blowjob. He kept contact with coworkers he admitted wanting to get into their pants at some point out of pity if they would let him and was very hostile to me about finding this out. My dog died and my mother went to the hospital for potentially fatal issues and all he cared about was ignoring everything and playing ps3 all day. Every fucking day like this.

Someone who cares about you shouldnot treat you like shit after you contracted fucking LYME disease. Leave him alone. He wouldn't be there for you at any point in time. The feelings of love you claim to have are stupid. Don't claim to love someone who treats you like shit, and if someone have such low self esteem that you can't separate from such an asshole, see a therapist after. You have emptional and mental issues with the idea od being abandoned and being alone. If you arent fine on your own withiut a boyfriend, thats a problem. If he is your first you just feel attached to him. Get over him. It will hurt but in a few months you will just be angry about your treatment. I went through the same feelings.

>>17492427
thank you.

he hasn't even contacted me all day ={
literaly got an MRI for my head and it took an hour and a half i was crying the whole time i was in there. it hurts so much to be treated this way, and i just feel so helpless and vulnerable.

>>17492250
Dump him and for the love of god... STOP ASKING THE SAME THING MORE THAN TWICE MAX!!!

>>17492276
Because you can't see that he clearly doesn't love you and all you care about is how much you love him.
You don't have the concept of self-worth, and you are immature enough to think your love is the be all end all thing in a relationship. If you can't leave someone like him there is something seriously wrong with you and the fact that you don't see this is another problem you need to work on.

>>17492891


i already said i do see that i should break up with him, i just said i was hurting, and even so that doesnt mean im still not hurt by this. this hurts me so much, whether he loves me or not, its a sense of betrayal and it just fucks with me a lot. I'm just hurting. and okay thanks for your advice

- he finally contacted me but he just sent me a youtube video of a song i sent him a long time again and said "ily"
like that's gonna be enough. I'm not even going to reply to that.

You clearly need to break up. He's being borderline abusive.

You going on about how much you love him is really worrying. You seem absolutely obsessed with him, and unwilling to admit how horrible he is for you.

vacations and sickness are classic relationship tests. yall failed move on

>>17492250
Your boyfriend seems like a cunt. Better dump him. You're better without him.

If a SO treated me like that I would break up with them. You don't deserve that treatment, especially after being sick

>>17492934

no i know this. i realized today and last night, that i felt abused.
my moms husband and other people ive had to deal with in my life verbally abused me, and last night i felt like i was being treated in the same way by him, in return i hated him.

IT STILL HURTS YOU GUYS.

i cant just flip a switch. i know hes wrong for me, but that doesn't mean I'm not in pain. i know we need to break up. its still hard and hurtful.

yes, i was obsessed with him for a while. il be fine though.

>>17492920
>like that's gonna be enough

This is stupid.

Look, to some extent your boyfriend probably does care about you or at least of you being around for him. And if he's aware that you're thinking of leaving the relationship, he's probably willing to put in some more effort at least until you stop thinking about leaving (or he reaches the point where he's not willing to put the effort in anymore).

And then he's almost certainly going to stop, because this doesn't seem like a guy who really cares about you very much.

So you're basically going to end up in the same place.

You can TRY to talk to him about what's going on and see if he's really willing and capable of changing. Some people are capable of behaving differently when they realize how shitty they're being. My expectation though is that he really doesn't give much of a fuck.

>>17492949
yo pain sucks but it's transient. find work to bury yourself in. best of luck

>>17492965


yeah i know.


-i PLAN ON giving him a chance to shows he cares (like he needs to do A LOT) and if he cant do that i know what to do.

i know he probably doesn't care. but i know its not me, its him. and someone else can deal with being with someone whos like this. ive been through hell, and all i want right now real love, and happiness for the rest of my life.

>>17492965


oh and also sorry i didn't really understand completely what you said..
that he will put in effort until i stop thinking about leaving, then it will go back. that's totally possible.

i think i should leave him, I'm gonna think about it for a while. just let things happen.

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>>17492389

>d) come to his senses, apologize, and... change....


Not happening op. You're better breaking up with such an ass.

Why force yourself to travel when sick? Aren't you in part to blame for it? Do not travel anywhere when sick, you will get sicker in a completely different environment.

>>17492920
I didn't read the rest of the thread.
What do you want advice on right now?


Honestly, you say he needs to put a lot of effort to keep you now but that is just some petty way to fulfill yourself. A relationship is not made by marked threashold that need to be reached in certain amounts of time; this is just an excuse you are giving yourself to make it easier for you to quit.
Face your fear and end it now, this will allow you to grow much more as a person.

>>17493011
okay thanks

>>17493010
i had a fever the night before, i felt fine the next day before travelling. i didn't get sick again till halfway through the flight. i usually don't get sick, i thought maybe i was just getting a cold and i'd be okay. things got worse and i couldn't take care of myself, and he didn't try to. i know its hard to understand, but i literally was so sick, had no idea what was going on-i could not take care of myself, and he should have brought me to the hospital. but I'm not getting into that or arguing about that.