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I've used ADD medication for several years on and off starting around my freshman year of high school.
I mostly used it as a performance enhancer for when I played music, or popped one before I wanted to write something cool/do some drawing.
Everything that I did while I was on the ADD medication was highly praised, while stuff that I did while off of it not so much. It really ate away at my self esteem, basically I realized that I was shit without medication.
I'm at a crossroads in my life right now, where I think I need to get back on medication in order to succeed, and I think the ADD stimulants are what I need. I think I should get back on them, but I feel like I need to sort this out first.
Basically, I just don't know how to cope with the depression of realizing that I'm garbage without stimulant medication, that I'm basically dogshit and untalented without the magical focus powers of smart pills. That everything I create should really be credited as 'me + adderall'. I don't know, maybe this is stupid, but it's destroying my pride and sense of worth.
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>>17491626
Switch to coffee.
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>>17491626
Everything you've done while medicated is still yours to celebrate. You did those things. Find a new way to focus your creative energy. Start eating healthy if you don't already. Exercise always staves off my self-doubt and centers my mind
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I feel you Anon
I basically had to take ADD medication starting from 3rd Grade, took it about 7 or 8 years and was top off my class at that time
Then I decided to lay it off because I felt like a living robot, no feelings or anything whatsoever, just learning and being good.
My grades slided from A-B to C-D but I still felt better as a whole.
But lately the thought crossed my mind to get on medication again because I just can't focus for shit
If I'm drawing I start something new every 10 minutes because a new idea comes to my mind, basically I numb myself with drinking to switch my mind off, I know it not the best nor the smartest idea I just can't help it.
I dont even know what I'm trying to say here, just verbal diarhea all over the place.
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>>17491626
Most people are the same as you, but instead they cant do shit without coffee. Your achievements are still your own. Try google techniques for natural focus enhancement. The obvious start is good sleep diet and exercise.
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Read more up on ADD. It actually works a lot different than you probably think.
The thing about ADD is, you really hyper focus on one thing, at the expense of others (unfortunately, often at the expense of the things you really should be focusing on). That's why ADD people are so often "last minute" people - nothing to draw you to the assignment until panic and fear glue you to the task.
All those stimulant drugs make you do is focus. Unfortunately, like the other anon, I stopped taking meds for my ADHD because, like him, it made me feel completely emotionless, and that made me depressed and suicidal when I was a teenager. But whenever I can get my hands on adderall for an assignment, I'm on that shit.
If you don't take meds, then you need to find some way to "self-medicate" - it can be coffee, it can be meditation (which may just be having a placebo effect, but hey, that's something), or it may just be forcing yourself into a really strict/tight schedule. Figure out some method that works for you.
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