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before i start, i just need to say;i need to get this out somewhere and talk to someone about it before i go crazy
there's a girl i met about a month and a half ago.
the first night, she got really fucking wasted and was desperate for me to fuck her. i'm talking legs spread in the air naked BEGGING me to fuck her. i didn't because she was drunk as fuck (she threw up about 10 mins later) and it didn't feel right to do it at the time
kept in touch after that night, went out a couple of times. loads of kissing and touching and shit, but no sex. until like after we went out about 5 times when we finally had sex and have been ever since pretty much
the thing is, at the start, she wanted a relationship with me. she was CLEAR on that. but the more i like her, the more she's pushing herself away from me. now she doesn't want a relationship anymore, she wants to be "best friends who have sex". and this is really hard for me because she decided on this after i started actually having feelings for her. she suddenly decided that she has no romantic feelings for me, but that she "loves me as a friend" but that she is still attracted to me and wants us to fuck me.
now here's the thing. whenever she gets drunk, she gets back to how she was before she started pushing herself away. as in like completely fallen for me. and what's worse is, if we ever sleep on the same bed, we will fall asleep on oposite sides of the bed, but i will wake up with her having her head resting on my chest and her legs twirled around me so i can't move. like she gets to that point by herself in her sleep subconciously. is it normal to do that with someone you "don't have romantic feelings for"? i'm so fucking confused
i might be overthinking, or she might be in denial about her feelings for me? or maybe it's something else? I don't know I just need to talk to someone about this anonymously
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>>17487555
Why do you like this idiot?
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Sounds like she's apprehensive about getting into a relationship but still considers you as an option. These feelings just manifest themselves when she's loaded.
That's BS I wouldn't deal with, to be honest. Wishy-washy shit isn't cool, especially when you're fucking each other.
Be clear about what you want. If she's not hearing it then move on.
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>>17487570
i have no idea. there is just something about her that makes me connect with her in a way i don't do with other girls. most likely the fact that we have both struggled with depression in our lives
>>17487577
i've been clear. she says "give me a couple of years". no idea if she is just testing me or if she actually means it because of all the mixed signals
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>>17487592
Yeah, that sounds like a mess. I'd cut my losses.
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>>17487598
I get that you say that. I really do because if someone else was in this situation and asked me, I would've told them the same thing. But when it's you who's asking is so hard to just cut her lose when you are attached to her and are starting to get feelings for her.
actually who am i kididng i'm not "starting to get feelings for her", i am free falling at 1000 mph with no sense of control anymore. no girl has ever made me feel this so fast. i feel like a fucking mess seriously
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>>17487555
Haha, she sounds like she has been hurt by someone she cared about. Or just scared to get too close and loose you.
I knew a girl that was the same, though we never became more than fuck buddies due to fate, but I know mutrally that both of us want to be with the other, it's just where our lives are going keeps us apart.
Show her you care but don't be too clingy, do something cleche or cheezy for her on the odd occasion. Remind her you don't plan on going anywhere and that you will protect her. Let her feel comfortable enough with you to show he true colours even if she can't see them
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In the exact same situation OP. Every single detail is the exact same In my scenario.
We used to date, now we're FWB (her decision). I just want to date her. If she gets drunk she texts me all of this really affectionate stuff. Says she "misses me" and all that. We've hooked up and fucked a couple times since being FWB.
I'm so so frustrated. I just want to date her. What on earth could she get out of being FWBs with me. She's gorgeous, she could have tons of guys.
FUCK.
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>>17487628
she has been badly hurt. raped actually. that might be why.
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>>17487555
Push your feelings aside and enjoy your FWB situation. I sure as fuck wouldn't mind a fuck buddy.
You can't make her not retarded but you can enjoy her decisions.
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>>17487662
Do as I said, get a bit cheezy sometimes, show her you care and will protect her. Even if it holding her while you go to sleep.
A flower that has been forgotten not watered and given no neutriants will still bloom if someone finds it and cares for it correctly
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"give me a couple of years"
Run.
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>>17487684
i actually do that. it works but only for a bit. it's weird
the most fucked up thing is
she was laying in bed with her head on my chest. i thought she was sleeping. suddenly she gets up, takes my hand, puts it on my chest (which is pounding so fucking fast. i didnt even know), and looks me straight in the eyes and says "that's us" then kisses me. next day she says we will never EVER be in a relationship. it's on and off like that all the time
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>>17487628
Nice tip here.
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>>17487885
Ohh how this makes me long to have a certain girl back.
Regardless she sounds like she doesn't want let you go or let you in, but she will have to do one eventually.
Write a short sweet poem for her and leave it somewhere she will come across it.
Leave the odd rose somewhere she will find it.
Take her out, even if you don't call it a date... You need to show you care more than just sex.
If you love her, don't just let her walk out on your or walk over you.
As I said you have to let her become comfortable enough with you to show her true colours, hidden behind all the barriers she puts up to protect herself from pain.
Also have you tried talking about it, tell her you can't deal with this constant hot cold. Tell her you need to know where you stand with her.
Important that you talk about it in person to easy to lie and hide emotion on the internet
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sounds like you need advice from the best this guy is amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYHkGLH190
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