Hey /adv/, I'm trying to settle my situation before I finally

First of all don't do it. Google books that have similar stories to what has led you to want to kill yourself and read one that will help you feel connected and like there is hope because there is. There always is

>>17487295
You'll be dead, nigger. Why the fuck do you care what happens? You'll be incapable of caring due to the whole being dead part. Either kill yourself for yourself or just don't and fuck off. Nobody gives a shit.

>>17487314
I have a preference for not being a variable in people's lives. If I could not affect them, I'd work (within my limits) to accomplish that. Otherwise you're right, I'll be a dead nigger.
One question, why are you on this board if you don't care about helping strangers?

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>>17487295
man, if you really are the caring and selfless man you know yourself to be, you'll be smart enough to not kill yourself.

if you won't do it for your own mother, then do it for all of us, including me,

because every night, I am forced to play guardian angle and I have to feel the pain of everyone's suffering, including their deaths, and a major part of those deaths are from suicide.

call me crazy all you want, but I at least know this: with suicide, you'll always die a painful death, no matter what.

whether it is instant or nullifying, you still feel a tremendous amount of pain for that moment, I know I have.

and everyone that does Always ends up regretting it afterwards, I have not much clue why, but I always hear and feel it,

so if you really do care, don't do it, because if you don't you can offer this rare help to others, and make people like me suffer less, one less suicide to make me any more miserable and brain-dead.

only you can climb out of this pit, we just offer you the rope.

don't let my words be in vain

black raptor out!

There is no way you would know if she means it or not. Maybe get some family counseling with your mom?
>leave peacefully
No such thing. Your death will impact many people, whether you believe it or not. People will post about your death on social media "omg I went to school with anon" "anon was so nice" etc

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>>17487411
>signing your post

Now I want to kill myself too.

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>>17487426
why?

please don't.

I'm lucky if I can even prevent 1 horrifying death dang it!

just...why?

>>17487423
I understand that I can't know, but just to reduce the chances as much as possible, what can I do? We've already had sessions of family therapy, that's how I learned of this.

>>17487411
I'm neither caring nor selfless.
My motives are precisely -> >>17487343.

Lifes full of troughs and peaks learn to roll with it, I legit felt crazy for the last two days because I gave a girl the wrong impression

I took some days to think, replied and now I feel normal again because I fixed it

iv seen some shit, really fucked up traumatic things and it was all before I was teen, i constantly experience paranoia, anxiety and self hatred over nothing, because I can't even remember how I felt when I was a kid and can't deal with the shit I suppressed

Im probably borderline, but im still giving life a go, ending your life only ends everyone elses around you - they'll never be the same without you

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>>17487446
well, no matter what, it effects us anyways, depression, nobody realizes this but, is a disease that infects those closest to the victim when the end of it comes,

if you die, it just continues the vicious cycle, it only ends when a person choses a different path away from it.

you might say your not caring nor selfless, but there is a part inside of you that defiantly doesn't want anyone else dying with you.

no one is born a caring or selfless person, they earn it by choosing to be one.

everyone cares about something or someone, they just don't realize how much yet.

so, what do you really care about, I've been in enough of peoples heads to know that you still care about something, no matter how childish it sounds, we ALL have it.

besides, if your going to die anyways, you would just say it right now if it dos3n't really matter.

so? what is it?

>>17487486
They'll be fine. I'm not killing myself because of some trauma or bad situation, but because I'm tired of existence without emotion or enjoyment (I'm incapable of feeling strong emotion and have never felt anything besides frustration or neutral), and according to numerous specialists this can't be changed (they assume it is either severe depression (6 different antidepressants had no effect), purely negatively symptomatic schizophrenia (which has no medication or treatment), or brain damage (which as of yet has no medication or treatment)).

>>17487492
See above.

>>17487517
right, that explains more

you should try ketamine at least, you might have neural swelling or whatever it is that ket relieves

also you could give mdma and raving a shot, your already fucked, seeing the other side in all its purity might bring you back somehow

>>17487546
Tried both multiple times, no change after the effects wore off.

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>>17487517
well, you are better off than I am.

all my exsistance has been is me suffering for everyone elses suffering, and I truly only feel strong negative emotions that give me actual physical pain.

diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, psychosis, and high-functioning autism, and probably more, but that does not even do it justice

and somehow everyone just gets me to go on with my life, putting on a mask to smile and be "alright" because everyone says I should be, but all it is just a mask.

I don't even feel like myself, instead, I feel like a shadow of myself, and all I keep doing is scavenge for the pieces of myself.

god only knows why I am alive still, but I wouldn't even kill myself.

I hate being so narcissistic, but if I can just feel one less death, I feel it just might change my fate a little,

I understand what you feel, there are people very similar to you, I have been in there heads enough, but you do know what will make you feel enjoyment, you just haven't done it when you should.

I am just letting time eat me away while I wait for the creator himself to cruely take me out of this world, I just want to see something change for the better before I die is all.

so, how will you change yourself, write your story if you will.

I will like to see, if I can.

Suicide is essentially an irrational response to a situation where the issue is either: A. You are in a situation where you can't see anyway out and you want it to end somehow or B. You want to hurt someone with your death.

It's irrational but saying that doesn't help because it's dependent on a mindset/mood and all sorts of things.

My advice is to get some exercise, take what little money you have and go and do something you've always wanted to do. You've made up your mind that you're going to kill yourself? Then nothing matters. And if nothing matters, then why not go do something crazy.

If you're tired of existence, change things.

>>17487661
>My advice is to get some exercise, take what little money you have and go and do something you've always wanted to do. You've made up your mind that you're going to kill yourself? Then nothing matters. And if nothing matters, then why not go do something crazy.
I can tell you're not suicidally depressed.

>>17487665
No, but I've considered suicide before.

Why not go on a trip to get a different perspective on things? You were gonna kill yourself anyway.

Do drugs, fuck hookers, go skydiving. Whatever. just see what this world has to offer. What do you have to lose?

>>17487669
When you're in that state NOTHING appeals to you, you don't want to do anything.

>>17487695
I know. The trick is to not let yourself get into it. Just trying to help. Can't really do much else.

>>17487343
Sure I like helping people but not fucktards like you. You don't want to kill yourself or you'd have done it by now regardless of how your family felt.