Hello /adv/ I need some help. For about 2 months now my boyfriend

I worked overnight for 3 years and my girlfriend always tried to get me to quit for the first year, and it annoyed me. Also, if it's his first time working overnight it's going to take him months to adjust completely to eating and sleeping at weird times, and he may be under stress, tired, and just grumpy. I doibt that means he's cheating on you.

>>17487015
I'm definitely not trying to make him quit, I told him I want him to work there because I know he likes the job and the people he works with. I'm trying to be really supportive and understanding of the new job, it's just sometimes hard when paranoia kicks in

>>17487025
Working nights is just its own set of problems that you have to adjust to. The weather has a much greater affect on whether you can sleep or not. If you wake up for any reason it's much harder to go back to sleep because you naturally want to be awake due to the sunlight. You don't feel like eating a huge meal at 3AM. When you get off work you have to wait several hours to do your errands because places are simply not open yet, and all you want to do is get that stuff out of the way so you can relax. Two days off feel like one because you either have to not sleep to be up all day, then not sleep to go back to work, or be awake all night doing nothing on your days off with nothing open and all your friends alseep.

I used to be a night person, but it was still hard for me to adjust to it all for a while. Just be there for him and understand that he literally has to adjust to a completely different lifestyle, and it may make him grumpy for a while, especially if he's the type to get grumpy when he's tired, because he's always going to be tired now.

>>17487015
My boyfriend was a cook for a LONG time.
The hours were totally different from me, a teacher. When I got home, he was heading out to work. He got done around 2 or 3 in the morning, and was usually hopped up on coke or just adrenaline. He would come over, keep me up, and then sleep in my bed all day while I was at work. I could not STAND it. Also, being late night with all these waitresses and even hungry, drunk customers drove me crazy. I wanted him to quit forever.

But, I did end up beaking up with my girlfriend and getting together with someone who worked nights with me.

I don't want to feed your paranoia, but just make sure you spend time with him still. Only, the thing that pushed me away was that I always had to spend time with her on her terms, and she did not seem understanding about how tired I was, and just wanted me to quit so I could keep doing the things she wanted to do when she wanted to do them instead of finding a middle ground for our schedules.

>>17487000
Why the break? What was the problem and how was it resolved?

As far as saying things and acting like not-himself, there's a lot of new stuff going on in his life (meeting new people, doing new things) especially if he's very young and doesn't have much job experience.

Being rude, however, is a problem. What does he say when you point it out?

>>17487059
Like I said, I'm being understanding of his schedule, and I'm not pressuring him at all to quit because that's not right, and he should do whatever he wants with his life. I'm happy he has a job he enjoys. We work our time around both of our schedules. Though I am usually the one asking to hangout more...

>>17487060
He apologizes when he's acting rude. It's only happened like 2 times, and it was very minor. Just things that arent like him that he'd say.

And we took the break because I felt like everytime there was a problem, he'd make me feel guilty about alot of things. And I just needed the space from that. Took it out on our relationship and I really regret it

>>17487066
Ok, so pretty much nothing got resolved, but maybe that's irrelevant.

So what's actually different and "unlike" him that you don't like? I mean specifically. I don't really understand what the problem is, if it's not that he's just unapologetically rude to you.

If "everything" has changed and you don't like it, then it seems pretty clear that you should go find someone to be with who you like.

>>17487111
You are clearly a woman. Only a woman would suggest leaving someone she obviously cares about because the status quo slightly shifted.