When the hurt turns into hate, you'll know where you

Sometimes its not just the hurt but the anger too. The hate I feel for some people in this world is so great I cant even describe the atrocities I want done to them

People are, and always have been, self centred pieces of shit. Getting bent out of shape and emotional about it is a waste of your time and energy.

I honestly have no idea how I feel anymore. Just indifferent, I guess.

I'm afraid of hurting others, that's why I get hurt the most.

I am sick of losing every weekend and week night of my life to work. The only ones I get are the ones I refuse to work (with notice). I am sick of the shitty management. One manager makes Forrest Gump look like a genius and the other is so ego driven it makes me puke. I am putting out job applications left and right.

I want to quit right fucking now but I need the benefits until I can get another job. This is the shittiest group of managers I have ever seen and I am done. Fuck this job. It is not worth losing my life to.

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I have never been really a malicious or spiteful person but I'm glad your business failed this weekend.

You built your success off of your room mates and friends by bullying them emotionally into contributing to your stupid pipe dream.

Have fun at another shitty retail job.

>>17486599
Are you me?

I actually am just forcing myself to find a new job by moving into a new place far away from my current job so I have no choice but to leave it or fail.

>>17486666
>Those digits

I just can't believe I spent 8 years on someone who cared so little about me

>>17486742
Right there with you.
About five years on one person who cared little for me. And then right after wasted the last year on someone who cared probably even less than the first. Not quite eight, but just can feel it with only wasting the six years. I could only imagine if I wasted two more years.

I wish this girl would make it clear what she wants from me. I should expect a girl who's younger than me with a child would have her guard up high, but the way that we talk and act around each other is comfortable. She spent the whole day with me, yet turned away after we hugged so quickly. Her body language is shy and anxious, and she claimed she was "fucked up in the head". Which I can relate to more than she might think.

I'm trying to be patient for her & let her figure out whatever she needs to.

I feel like I'm living a lifetime original.

You don't want me going to coffee shops? Really? I'm not going to stop going out in public because you say so.

But you can stay late at work every single day and then not have any sexual desire with me? I notice the subtle references to your coworker, the one I'm almost certain you cheated on me with on the trip and while I was out of town. I can't wait to meet her husband.

You isolate me from your friends, you attempt to isolate me from mine. Discussing my financials with them without being asked as to look better or superior than me. Your friends are fucking rude to me and totally rude to their own girlfriends.

You never want to go anywhere with me. You never like anything I suggest or give you but if someone else does the same thing you suddenly LOVE it.

I don't feel like a queen with you. I feel like an abused slave. How can you expect me to not only pay my entire share of bills but cook and clean and do your laundry every day/week? What the fuck do you do for me????

I'm so sick of it. I'm ready to leave you. It could be tomorrow or in a week. I don't care anymore. I don't like you and I think you're a terrible and completely fake person.

I really like where I work, but I think my workplace hired my replacement. I've been filling out job applications anyway. They're pretty crazy about this guy, impressed by his work, but they promised me he wouldn't be replacing me. I'm not stupid. It just sucks because I don't know if I should just go ahead and resign or wait until I'm fired.

I just wish you were the person you showed me when we first met.

I'm fucking found out that I was venting to others about your bullshit attitude. Talking about being betrayed by a friend etc. And now you try and act prissy at me, claiming to have more friends? How fucking childish can you get?! I fucking kneeled to apologize and you dare to fucming throw it in my face?
I'm fucking glad I don't need to keep up the pretence of being polite with you. And now you see that despite your claims that everyone hates me, guess what, chuckle fuck, I do have friends. AND thanks to your outburst, I've cleaned house. I know who to trust now, so thanks for that.
I guess the only upside of all this is that I don't have to stay with you, can finally cook, and learned the lesson that not everyone is worth my time.

I'm really scared. I'm turning 22 tomorrow and I need to be an adult but I still mentally feel like a teenager. I feel so horrible about everything and I want to get off this ride. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I feel like my brain is deteriorating and I feel horrible that I can't bring myself to distract myself with video games or anything of the sort right now.

The past led my current lifestyle into some huge mess and I'm watching Reality Sucks on repeat because I'm desperately trying to want to find the motivation from that movie to learn how to fuck up and fail being a young adult but my physical health is horrendous and I wish I wouldn't have done all of the shitty things I've done

I betrayed everybody and I can't stop crying I'm really scared

>>17486673

my friend and I went on a vacation last month and we both were about to sign a lease on an apartment. both of us just want to quit and start anew. The only thing that stopped us is the fact that he had a few family things he would need to be back for until the end of the year.

Are you starting to feel alone yet? Are you beginning to face the crushing realisation that no one will ever love you again? That you blew your one chance of happiness?
Karma, it's a bitch.

My parents got divorced when I was 14 and it was M-E-S-S-Y ... Every single bit of it, messy, violent, and hurtful.

My dad has been dating some uppity chick who doesn't seem to like him very much but is into his money. He had prostate cancer so I don't think they even have sex now, but he takes her on these luxury vacations at least 10 times a year. She doesn't have much money of her own, I guess, but she thinks she is all that. She raised her kids to be paper chasers.

I just don't like her, and she is very judgmental of my growing family, which is working class. She makes comments sometimes about how we are low class, and she hasn't congratulated me or spoken to me since she found out I am expecting another child.

Now, I haven't been on vacation since I was single and I don't think we will be going on vacation anytime in the next five years. When the kids get older, we will take the to the Grand Canyon and a Disney World trip, I am sure, but I don't see us ever having travel abroad money. But who cares. We are happy and we enjoy hiking and exploring around where we live.

But she is spending all my dad's money, doesn't even have sex with him or sleep in the same bedroom on vacations, and I assume is putting in all this time so she can inherit his money when he dies. What right does she have to look down on my humble family because we can't afford to travel to Europe twice a month? Neither can she. She just goes out to dinner occasionally with some guy she thinks is completely gross and dresses in inappropriate outfits when she has dinner with him so she can afford to go abroad.

>>17486330
That's a sign of depression

I am in love with a co worker who is 14 years older than me (I am 25) and is married with 3 children. She feels the same towards me but it can obviously never go anywhere.

Im in a very dark place and Im losing hope. i have very little in my life and wish it to end. If it cant end ill remove everyone from it that i know and live a life as close to death as possible with as little luxury and stimulous. I just cant take the way my mind is anymore and its making me sick.

Why does nobody reply to me ever.

>>17486666
Santa lives

My name is Larry and I'm a chocoholic

>>17487153

Maybe you never say anything worth a reply.

>>17487019
No.... why? Should I?

Indifference hurts the most. The fact that nothing is there anymore is worse than being in love and not getting reciprocated.

Why people here respond to letters as if theyre directed towards them?

I guess I really have solved my free time issue, six hours just went past without me even noticing

There is love burning to find you. Will you wait for me?

J, I think I still love you. So please get out of my life.

It can't be mistaken, the spirit is vacant. When hope for tomorrow is nowhere in view. Living so close to a weakness, that continues to keep you held down.

Watching some VERY old photos of my dad and grandparents the other day, I realized that some people are just not life material. I felt the emptyness of my grandma´s eyes in that picture, and the fear and anxiety in my dad´s when he was like 10.
I just can´t comprehend why this people, who obviously don´t enjoy life, keep unconsciously reproducing. I am the very reflect of their fears and failures, for what reason?

I don't want to kill myself, I'd rather everyone except myself would cease to exist. If I can't be happy, no one should.

I hate your scorn.
I hope you'll find some dude to fuck you this weekend.
I don't even say bye, you don't care.

>>17487444
I hope I find some dude as well.

Why are you ghosting me? You could find time to spend with me if you wanted to.

I got my hopes up a little

i really like turning on my phone and seeing that i don't have any message or calls there

>>17487456
Doesn't surprise me bitch.
You've always wanted to get fucked as much as possible. Even when we were having some time together...

At least know the person you attempt to impersonate

>>17487702
It was obvious you only hit me up to fuck me anyways. You'd just ignore me, otherwise.

I wish I could forget you.

I will wait for you
I've missed and longed for you so much, so long
Please be soon. I need you to be with me, it feels natural

I wanna be a great plumber, like my brother, Mario.

I wish I was this self aware earlier in life, need more weed and a lot of hard work but I think I can maybe live a life

Hey, it's been a while since we've really talked about things hasn't it?

Things just sort of fizzled out there at the end, and I got the hint and moved on. I realized I was dependent on you to be happy and I had faith that you would outshine my other relationships and actually try for me despite the distance. I ignored the thoughts that you were unreliable because I had faith in you. Jokes on me I suppose, but at the same time at least I know that you'll never really be happy, and I know I'm going to be in a better place in life.

In the end, when I think about it, I realize that you never really were there for me at all. I was always there for you. Well, from the bottom of my heart I hope you find that in someone else, but it certainly won't be coming from me anymore. Not until I know that you've changed your character, just like I changed myself for you.

Goodbye

I have a bad habit of saying "just kill me" to myself in a joking way. Now I can't stop and I'm worried I'll accidentally say it in a situation that'll be extremely awkward or get me sent somewhere where I'll say it seriously.

I would do anything to be a decent job. Unless their parents are loaded, I have absolutely no idea how people can enjoy college when their futures are on the line. It's absolute insanity. I nearly got myself expelled about a year ago and I seriously contemplated killing myself. I don't have any friends, and that sucks, but the idea of being a neet keeps me up at night. This anxiety is terrible, but taking pills keeps me from masturbating, which is one of the few things that keeps me sane. Once I have a job, I can pay for my own apartment and maybe even a therapist. If I don't have a decent job by 25, I'll jump off a bridge. Luckily it's only a short drive away.

I'm still sorry that my actions provoked what happened to you: you didn't deserved that, and I wasn't able to help you.
When we met that last time, you should have told me to kill myself. Feeling guilty wasn't enough for me to give everything up.
Since years, I believe, like an idiot, that all the poor choices I made in my life, how I became a pure loser, helped you in your life. Maybe some kind of karmic balance made all this even. Maybe by being miserable, I have fixed the mistakes I made?

Oh babe, I can begin by telling you it all slowly, in the living room, through my keyboard in this cold rain with cold wind in late august. I would like to tell you that I... Don't like you, i don't wanna be with you and that i feel better now that i've told you everything and that i've been totally embarassed. I feel some motivation now to live in polygamy. Or some sort of monogamy just that i know it won't be the romantic way, i just want to fuck, and i hope i can get to fuck as soon as possible, so that we can get this over with. Maybe someday i will stop loving" you like i do. But in this moments and times all i feel is the need of you and your warmth, your never-actually-given-kisses, your fake and half hugs. I used to expect some love from you, i used to want you by my side. I used to imagine all the things i'd do with you. I'd imagine being with you all day baby. And now, i just feel the ashes left, ashes that i only have some hope will burn, but i wish they didn't. I just wish i didn't love you. But this is better. Now i can be with people and not fall in any sort of love, as i am in love with you. Gotta play tomorrow so i'm off. This made me feel something, later guys.

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Aujourd'hui je suis un peu au bout de ma vie. Mon ex petite amie (à qui j'ai donné ma première fois) ma annoncé il y a 1 semaine qu'elle m'avait trompé 2 fois avec 2 hommes différents lors de notre relation qui a duré 6 mois. Elle m'a dit qu'après avoir couché avec eux elle est venu me voir et qu'elle m'avait trompé plusieurs fois.

On a rompu il y a 2 mois et c'est le jour de mon anniversaire que cette tepu decide de me reparler. Elle voulait me récupérer et voulait être sincère avec moi. Sauf que ... j'ai insulter cette pute de tous les noms. Mon estime de moi est au plus bas. Elle ma dit qu'elle ma trompé parce qu'un gars lui a dit que je mentais sur qui j'étais (mon taf etc) alors qu'elle est venu à mon bureau sur lequel on a même fait l'amour. Le gars lui a monté la tête ocntre moi et elle a ken avec lui.

Aujourd'hui elle est repartie avec son ex (qu'elle avait quitté pour moi normalement). Je réalise que j'étais juste un bouche trou. J'étais tellement amoureux d'elle que je lui ai donné ma première fois et je suis catho donc ça compte énormement pour moi car c'est un péché.

Je suis au plus bas de ma vie, j'ai plus du tout confiance en moi, je deviens parano à l'idée qu'elle ai pu coucher avec un autre. Je sais plus quoi faire de ma vie, je lui avait tout donné... j'avais tout fait pour elle et elle faisait jamais d'efforts pour moi en retour. Je suis perdu, n'importe quel conseils m'aiderait.

PS : J'écris ce message sous influence de l'alcool et de plusieurs joins et je suis entrain de foutre ma vie en l'air depuis quelques semaines.

Merci.

FOR THOSE WHO DON'T SPEAK FRENCH : https://translate.google.com

>>17486288
>>17486288
My emotions have been switchy lately, anything triggers depression, anger, or excitement. A small cup of tea makes me twitch and shake, a flaw on my body makes me cover my head and my own voice spouts "disgusting disgusting repulsive out out, ew, get it out, disgusting!" from every direction, I want to vomit, sometimes I do, and I can think separately from these voices, but they wont stop and my back crawls and chills, someone else acting tired makes me want to sleep, seeing fast movement makes me want to jump about, I'll just stare at random shit, put on background noise just because, hearing a song makes me depressed or excited, I could go on for days.... My mother had bipolar disorder, but that doesn't include any of this, does it? I've been to afraid to bring it up irl or here, "youre just tired, fake, low quality b8, fucking newfag normie get out of my board." Don't know what to do, worn out right now. I think I need help but I've had horrible experiences with past counselors.

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I hope we all just kill ourselves.

Everyone that I care about leaves me. This is why I'm detached and can't love with my full capacity, because with other people I'm always a crutch and a stepping stone to a new and better life.

I will never find anyone that will love me as deeply as I love them. I am happy for all my friends and significant others that are living their lives. I just feel left behind and used. Even in current friendships, I always seem to be nurturing people and no one wants to do the same for me. I am strong, but sometimes I get weak.

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I finally came for my girlfriend. She was so fucking happy and it helped her confidence so much. I only had to help out a little bit, but thanks to her, I had my first orgasm with a partner.

Thank Christ for Fleshlights, thank Christ for my girlfriend C, and thank Christ for not having work this week. Hoping to come buckets each time eventually.

>>17486288
I think I died a few years ago and haven't accepted it. Everything just repeats itself every year. I think it's all my dying brain can imagine.

I just want to have some kind of emotional connection with a girl and be able to have a gf that enjoys what I enjoy but I know I'll never be able to tell the signs that a girl wants me or I'll never be brave enough to go after a girl because I'm way too scared of being rejected.

>>17487987
chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug chug...

>>17488043
Save some for others.

>>17487971
en vrac:
- fais un test de dépistage MST, ça me semble pas inutile vu son comportement
- fous pas ta vie en l'air pour quelqu'un qui n'en valait pas la peine (puisqu'elle n'avais aucune respect pour toi); épuise ta peine pour quelques temps (j'espère que tu te défonces pas tout seul, fais-le avec des potes si possible, c'est plus fun). Mais commence à envisager de surpasser tout ça: faut l'oublier hein
- sinon dis-toi qu'au moins tes prochains relations seront pas aussi râtées; je suis pas sur que ça aide, mais tu auras désormais une meilleure acuité pour détecter les garces des filles qui en valent la peine (et y en a plein, t’inquiètes pas)

I don't even overly care for sex if it is not with her, I find other girls attractive and I fap quite a bit, I just don't care to be with anyone else. Its bull shit because I know we will never be together, we might spend the occasional night togerther but I fear it will never be more for the distance that separates us. Why oh crule world do you torture me so.

>>17488072
J'ai une hépatite B. J'ai eu mes résultats y a qques semaines.

I just transferred into an Ivy League university, and I feel exhausted. I'm experiencing some imposter syndrome for the first time, and it's hitting me hard since I'm used to being exceptional rather than just another figure in the crowd.

It's also daunting, having to make completely new relationships: with guys, with girls, with professors. I wish I am back at my old school, where everything is familiar, but alas I know that I needed the transfer.

Here's hoping that I make great friends, do well, and have a blast

I would do anything to be able to go back in time and redo college. I can't believe I wasted 5 years being lazy and just getting by in class. I barely made any friends or did anything worth mentioning. I don't give a fuck about partying or getting laid, I just wish I tried to do something more than come home after class and play video games. Like join some clubs and get help finding internships. Even though at the time I knew I shouldn't be lazy, my mind just wouldn't let me do otherwise.

Now I'm about to graduate with hardly a single connection and zero work experience. Meanwhile people younger than me are creating start ups with their friends or interning and making mad money before even graduating. I only worked 2 part time jobs and got fired for one for being late too many times and quit the other because I couldn't manage the workload during school.

My parents were expecting so much. I was the first in my family to go to university and they were so happy that I chose to go into computer science instead of something less lucrative. I never cared much about the money though, I just wanted to work with computers and make cool shit. I still do but the closer I get to graduating the more I realize that I was supposed to be building my skills from the moment I entered uni, by working on personal projects and interning. I have few personal projects but they're basic shit compared to what most other students have done.

I'm looking at job postings now and anything that seems remotely interesting expects you do have internship experience before graduating. I can't even find anything I'm qualified for. Even the unpaid shit expects previous work experience. Fuck, I just wanna reach into a wormhole and bitchslap myself while I was in first year wasting my nights playing CSGO.

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>>17486288

I learned that needing to take a deep satisfying breath but never being able to is a symptom of anxiety

Apathy is starting to settle in again

I don't really understand what to do with myself so I'll just keep going through the motions until something comes up or it doesn't

There's nothing I particularly want to do, even the desire for companionship is fading but its not painful

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Gf's ex was a mongoloid she met at a club, was 6'6 with a third leg. She disparages her two other exes whom I don't mind, but not this one. Going to an hero.

Dumping random.

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I also have an existential crisis at least 2x a month due to anxiety but other than that life is going pretty good, hopefully it is going reasonably well for y'all too.

>>17488140
Are you just going to accept defeat in the hands of that meathead? You might as well go suck his third leg.

ANAL IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

>>17487890
Regardless of who you are, whether you be Donald Trump or some inner city kid in Detroit, how bright tomorrow is depends on what you do today. Have faith in your own abilities to make things right and take that leap of faith.

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>>17488159
I don't want to; she hasn't talked him in two years. I just can't get over it, been on my mind for six months. The way my anxiety sees it I may as well drop her sooner rather than later and find someone for whom I'm the "best." I love her otherwise but it's a mental block.

I'm "second place" but perform way better she told me when she was drunk, the silver medal just cucks me harder.

I don't want to go university, school starts in three days...
I just want to drop out, find a job-if they hire me and may go to Adult school and volunteer...
I'm a coward...I can't do it...it's all to difficult for me...I wish I could push myself...I don't want to anymore...I don't want to end up in debt or end not know what I really want to major in...I chose psychology...I fucked up...
anyone help...

My whole life have I been hated by everyone I know. Abused as kid and kicked out of home as a early teen. Never had any friends, family. Nobody.

Image boards like this are the only non violent source of human interaction I have. Its the only thing I have at all.

My greatest, most unrealistic fantasy is to feel loved, and be able to love back.

Maybe then I wouldn't be so self repressing.

I'm way too busy planning my budget for the next month to pay attention to your pubescent drivel of how attracted to her you are. You have friends who will cater to you and actually discuss that shit with you, I don't care about any of that stuff and I shouldn't need to repeat how uninterested I am. If all you can do is talk with your dick, I'm just going to ignore you every single time, I'm done having to tell you how uninteresting it is

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>>17488185
Have time for MMOs?

>>17488192
I am a phone poster. I can't afford a computer.

Many times i feel like i need to say something here, i think my mind is trying to tell me something.

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>>17488199
Oo try to get a retail job, you meet tons of people and most have fairly flexible schedules. I work once very two weekends and it has done wonders for me, made friends, got a girlfriend...

Also pokemon showdown works on phones, have fun.

There's one thing I can be proud of, I'm literally a ghost. Nobody, no one but myself knows my name, I don't have family, as I am an orphan. Nobody talks to me and I don't talk to anyone. I'm literally mute. The only time I get to spend not alone is here and even then I'm still just "Anonymous", camouflaged in the sea of other Anonymous. You will forget this post and message as everyone forgets my face when they see me walking on the crowded street or taking the full bus. Sometimes I go from a place to another and strangers barely notice I'm there, not even reacting as I pass in front of them, to the degree I unironically ask myself sometimes if I'm not a wandering spirit. I'm nothing more than a living ghost. Truly, I have achieved the impossible.

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>>17488225
Witnessed, ghost-chan

>>17488225
>>17488225
I envy you

>>17488225
do you have a job?
no job?
how has that been working out for you?

>>17488230
I need advice Inquisitor Pegasus
>>17488180
please or anyone???

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>>17488238
What troubles you child?

>>17488206
OK.

>>17487153
You can be boring, saying something so obvious nobody wants to reply, killed the argument and any chance of a rebutal, said something that requires too much effort on the reply, said something they can't understand, etc.
>>17487287
Because it's fun.
>>17487395
No.
>>17487409
People are much more open to death nowadays and they are still very closed; it's understandable that many people live just because they can't end it, because of that they have to put a facade of happiness and a family is part of it.
>>17487864
Underrated.

>>17486288
I am tired of people criticizing me without recognizing their own faults.

There is no meaning.
Nothing exists.

>>17488225
If you know your name, then it's something officials could find. A name binds you to be recognized, whether you keep it to yourself or not, if you were admitted to hospital following an event out of your control, arrested due to circumstance. Both, and many other scenarios like them such as working, would lead to you being identified. No matter whether you keep your name from others on a personal basis, formalities bind you. You're not a ghost. Also, rather unfortunately for you, there are people with pretty good memories in this world. Your post will be remembered, whether you believe that or not. Just like how your face can and will be remembered by people. No matter what you told yourself, you have not achieved anything other than convincing yourself of something incorrect. You're bound to an identity by formality, and remembered by people with a good enough memory that they'd remember even strangers they stand by at the bus stop. I also shouldn't need to tell you that people not reacting to you doesn't mean you suddenly don't exist to them, if you don't know them, you're simply a stranger and as long as they don't treat you poorly, there's nothing wrong with them being indifferent to your presence. After all, you're a stranger.

If we were at the same bus stop, I'd remember your face and what you wore on the day, I just wouldn't have any particular reason to show that I acknowledge you're there

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I feel so ambivalent about life these days. I know i have so much to look forward to in life yet while i sometimes feel like i enjoy life deep down i just feel like a candle in the wind. I think i need to find a true reason to live and succeed other than money (which is my primary goal in life). Maybe a relationship would help me. Pic related it kinda describes how i feel. I have a smile on my face but inside i feel like a disaster.

>>17488225
>>17488225
>No one but myself knows my name
>I'm literally mute
>to the degree I unironically ask myself sometimes if I'm not a wandering spirit.
This degree of loneliness I have not seen even in fictional literature. It's depressing and yet attractive.

>>17488243
I don't know whether to drop out of university even though classes are starting this week, and the 4 classes I'm taking this semester have already been paid by financial aid
the reason I want to drop out is because:
I don't have a car or license(I'm mild afraid of driving)
I have no job experience and I need to get a job because of work study financial aid
I no longer feel I have in interest in the major I am majoring in-Psychology and I don't really know what career path I want. I don't want to waste my time or time in general in university and end up regretting get a bachelors in a major I might not end having interest in or doing well in...I fucked up I fucked up...

>>17488268
You probably should drop out and take some time to get over your fear of driving (protip the only way to do that is to drive) and find out what you want to do before committing to a 4 year degree unless you're just doing Gen Ed classes that you need for any degree

>>17488278
I'm a transfer student
so basically I only have three or 2 years to do ??unless I fucked up and chose the wrong classes to take...

>>17488292
If you transferred with an associates then you should only have two years correct

I did the same thing

Now just pause and catch your breath before you waste your time

Figure out what you want, easier said than done

I got tinder finally and after a day of swiping I got 2 matches, one was the bot, the other didn't even answer me

my friend who is objectively less attractive than me (we are both pretty normal looking though) downloaded it again and immediately got 7 matches

I feel hurt and angry. I Don't know why I'm so undesirable

>>17488295
But Pegasus, I already took two years off and fucked up and didn't really do anything besides clean at home and contemplate suicide
what degree do you have?
do you have a job?

>>17488305
Don't fuck it up this time then

I'm on my last semester of having a degree in IT

>>17488308
okay I'll try not to...

>>17487864
You will Luigi.

So many years wasted, so little done and here I am laying in bed staring at my ceiling regretting my choices but unable to change myself. I've for years been trying but unable to overcome the anxieties.

I don't think I'll ever get to where I want to be in life, I try and try but keep failing...I just don't have it in me any more and I've come to terms with what my fate will be.

Its good to finally say it...maybe bring some peace. I hope you all find peace and happiness.

Fuck the world,
Allahu akbar
*boom*

I wanna fuck my therapist.

Never gonna happen, but still damn.

get. the fuck. out. of. my. way.

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I just want to go back to school and scream in people's faces and beat the shit out of them. Just all of them. Just stand out in-front of the SAC and grab people and bash their skulls in. I don't know why, I just want to. Nothing stupid like shooting or blowing something up. You don't feel anything. I want to be able to feel hurting them. Just let out everything. All the things I just let build up inside me, all the loneliness, the envy, the longing. Just feel my fist caving in all the fuckers faces.

That's a bad thing to think right?

I have feelings for a girl who I work with who is a single mom. We've become pretty good friends over the past few months. She's attractive and has a great sense of humor. She's on my mind often and I wish that it would stop.

I just wish I could actually meet someone I liked who would be good for me.

Ah here we are again.

Dear Ju,
9:40 pm and caught in my sadness and feelings, so you got a boyfriend. That's great, I'm happy for you it's just so hard to move on when I still have feelings for you. The thing is I can't date my best friend that's just wrong and when you got a boyfriend who is just awkward and quiet. That's not like you at all, but I'm pretty sure you have your reasons. Even though he despises me I love you.

Love- Z

Dumbass, if I'm keeping to myself and you make the effort to come to me, don't then claim I'm going to you. If you didn't try to interact with me, there'd be absolutely no interaction whatsoever. Stop being a fucking idiot

Get into a car accident, please.

Thanks to a fuck up on my mother's end and also on my doctor's end I have to start half my fucking medication all over.
I have epilepsy and if there are any other epileptic people reading this then you might know that some of the side affects can be super fucking shitty. I feel like a 14 year old typing because of how emotionally imbalanced this shit makes me. Keppra is a huge piece of shit.
Maybe it's the medicine making me over dramatic, I don't know. I have to take a semester off of school for this shit because I fucked over my own life.
I get excited any time I talk to a new girl or a girl that is interested in at least some of the things I am. Then I get her number and freak the fuck out out of hype but I know it won't go anywhere. I'm fooling myself. Everyone around me is just too polite to say it.
I'm still a fucking virgin. It's not because of epilepsy, at least I don't think. It's because I'm awkward and weird. I'm a snide little prick. Who the fuck knows, I haven't been on a real date in years. I really just want it all to be over. I wish I could just have one grand mal and die during it. I'm just sick and tired of having to deal with this every day. I just wanted to be "normal".

Things are okay i guess i just want more money like I just want a very high income so I can spend it all on weed and beer then ill be happy until I die or until new problems arise that I must deal with but they can usually be solved with money and if not that then weed and beer will fix it

Psychopaths do things that people don't like, and people don't like psychopaths. It's funny because people do the same things.

why's it feel like the hole in my chest is filled? what's changed? what did you do?

I feel fulfilled through a completely passive role in life, and always have But if I wake up tomorrow and feel otherwise, I'll be fucked. So I try and keep up with stuff anyway, making friends, getting an education that could lead to a high-paying job. It's all boring or actually painful. I would rather browse the internet 24/7 until the day that I die.

>>17488553
you should be careful wishing people ill like that.

I decided to switch to a stocking at work so I come in before the store opens and only work a few hours with minimal customer contact. I'm hoping this will help my anxiety, but I feel like it's a step closer to me quitting and never working again.

>>17488577
I know. But it's deserving.

I also hope I get into a car accident.

>whatever

Fuck you, I won't message you until you stop ignoring me or message me first.

So the other day I have to share the same bed with my sister she is 24 I'm 15 and I have always had a thing for her so when she feel asleep I decided I would try to see if I could put my hand down her pants. Also I'm a virgin so I don't know what a pussy feels like, then I did it and she didn't wake up so I started masterbating while I was touching her and then I cumed all over the sheets. I'm just afraid that she knows. Also is it bad that I like my sister? COMMENTS PLEASE

time for a change.
For real this time.

We decided to elope a while ago, but now since it's happening in the very near future and become a real thing, I just find myself getting so upset about it. We originally agreed to keep it a secret and just tell people we got engaged. But you still ended up talking to your mother about it. I got so angry when you told me. It took me a while to realize that I wasn't angry at you for telling her, I was jealous that you could confide in your parents. I haven't talked to my mother since she kicked me out over a year ago, and every photo I see of a mother staring at her daughter with love (especially the wedding photos that I've been perusing for ideas lately) has really stung. I basically forced you into agreeing to elope because I didn't want to be reminded of the lack of family support I have. I didn't want my estranged father walking me down the aisle to hand me off because he has no right to. I raised myself, goddammit. I am my own woman. I really didn't want to see how empty my side of the church would be compared to yours. They all just write me off as the quiet black sheep of my family and group of friends. It's just an excuse since none of them ever wanted to put the effort into getting to know me. So to you boy, I am sorry to steal away such an important and celebrated day. To the people who never cared, fuck you. Now and forever

To get a rise out of someone, you're meant to mix things up. Not repeat the same thing constantly. Even when you claim to mix it up, you just repeat something else. This is a reason you were told to remember your own actions.

As for the other guy who keeps guessing, you could have most of your questions answered by asking directly or talking to a certain person who recently went over there. I do enjoy every time you prove you never knew my interests, you just knew what you wanted to know because it was convenient and the rest was never necessary for you to know so it never became a subject. We're strangers to each other, never forget that

I wanna fall in love so bad. I don't want it to be one sided anymore. I wasn't this dumb before meeting you. I thought things were going good, and then you just stopped responding. The first person I ever actually liked ghosted me and I'd never felt so worthless. I hate you for making me realize how lonely I've always been and for making me crave a relationship so much. I should hate you, but if you were to text me again I would probably reply immediately. You won't though. It's been months now. I hate us both for being such cowards.

The reason I distance myself from others is because I can't forgive myself for my past.

I hurt lots of people many years ago. I was an awful man headed down a destructive path. I changed my ways, took responsibility, tried to make things better, but there are many things you can't fix or that can't be truly forgiven. I feel like this guilt and weight is something I must carry to atone. I've since moved and secluded myself.

People that 'know me' now just see snippets of my life, the highlights and good parts. I just limit my dealings with them since I only want them to see my best. I don't want them to see the pathetic side of me. My worst is not worth my best.

I just had another melt down in texts to my ex again. I'm just a depressed fuck who is suicidal as fuck and needs to get a damn job and stop over feeding myself. I have to either kill myself or learn to live in this world. I'm doing nothing with my life but wishing I was gone. I ruined my ex's night probably. It's difficult not to flip shit sometimes when you're alone for so many days in a row. I go out with my dog every day to parks and get exercise but that's about it.
Sorry to anyone who wasted their time reading this. But it felt good to type out. Also my "best friend" seems to only keep me around to babysit her kid!

I finally made some normie friends. Thank god. Navigating other people's autism was really making it hard for my social anxiety. Now I can talk freely!

Ever had that feeling:
Worked hard and worked long for some perticular goal in life?

I'm there now, I've been working so hard and so long to get this perticular job, it's pretty much been on my mind 24/7 for the past 4 years or so... Now is the time!
I'm 98% sure that I'll get this job now... and it makes me feel empty, I don't know what to do next.. I reached the goal.. what's next?

You're all fucking crybaby faggots who need to learn how to cope with your own fucking feelings without resorting to posting.

I've only truly been in love with one person. You know what that means? I do.

>>17488844
what's wrong with posting?
does it hurt your feelings?
find another way to deal with that than bullying people here, jackass

It's okay if you don't like me. You don't have to feel obligated to be around me if you don't want to...

I'm still hung up on a girl who dumped me a year and half ago after a brief intense fling. I had to cut her and her friends out of my life to get away yet I still thinking of her most days and it effects my day to day. I'm reminded of her daily. The worse part is I know it's all infatuation bullshit as I never felt this bad when I broke up with women I loved and was with years. Hobbies, gym, work, studying, past times aren't helping. I think something was broken in me before she dumped me and she just brought it to the surface

I've been kept up at night thinking about how chilling and terrifying it would be to die and have nothing come after. To just cease existing and thinking and feeling. I've been an atheist for a few years, but I sure damn hope I'm wrong and want to find proof that will convince me theres some sort of afterlife. Or at least to somehow come to terms with what I'm going to have to face eventually. The inevitability of it is just as terrifying as death itself. Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this? Is there an afterlife?

>>17488952
Funny I'm more attracted to the thought of nothing after. I wouldn't want to be carry the baggage from this life with me into eternity

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The girl I love told me I'm the equivalent of a gay best friend, except straight.

Nothing good ever happens.

>>17488992
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHA

Oh man, being you must be terrible.

Ah, well. Now you know.

>>17489031
Most efficient way to kill self?

It's time to do it myself. I can't rely on others anymore.
If I die from making a mistake, it's on me. I'm done being the little bitch.

>>17489064
I don't know what you're doing, but you can do it!

>>17489045
Either ghost out or completely cut contact.

>>17488844
>resorting to posting
Posting on imageboards is a pleasant and safe way to let off steam, imo.
Much better than smoking, getting drunk, etc.

>>17488952
>I've been kept up at night thinking about how chilling and terrifying it would be to die and have nothing come after.
Personally, i feel the complete opposite. If there isn't anything after death, then that's not so bad really.
It'd be peaceful, wouldn't it?
Just like going to sleep, and not having to wake up to the fucking alarm clock ever again.

You will never be happy with your life you shallow pig

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I just want to bitch, but bear with me.

Long story short: doing el Camino de Santiago, meeting hot girl clearly into me, about to get some time alone, and every fucking pilgrim around and a grandma cockblocking, getting into our conversation. Couldn't get a moment for us and she already left.

I'm thinking of backtracking just one kilometer to see her, staying where she stays or something, but I don't want to be creepy or anything.

I think I just lost her.

>>17489072
What's the difference between ghost out and cutting contact?

>>17488858
I know what that means

Me too
I love home forever

I hate my parents, I used to think it was wrong. But the way they're so fake and play favorites against me changed that. I don't give a fuck anymore, I can't wait to get out of this damn house and never look back.

Did you call her just to see if you could still squeeze rent out of me?

If he hadn't shown up to stop me I'd have jumped that night. There's no solace for you here now

She was the one. I really had a good feeling about her. She did too about me. Then i ruined everything by getting the drunkest i've ever been. It's entirely my fault. She's not coming back.

Charlie please come back, i'm so fucking sorry

My brother is showing a lot of signs of being a potential furry and Ive been staying out of it, but hes kind of becoming annoying with it now.

Thing is Im actually a super huge furry and have just been quiet and secretive about it. I'm not sure if I should just let him make his own decisions or try to guide him. I get the feeling hes going to mess around with it regardless.

I've researched everything I can about suicide from jumping off a bridge

I don't know why that method calls to me, but I know which bridge I want to leap off of, as I walk across it every day

From what I've read, because of this bridges height, it's not entirely reliable that I'll die when I hit the water. I have to try to do head first, a real dive, but even then it would have to hit at the right angle. There is a higher chance I break too many bones to swim and drown, or hopefully, am knocked unconscious and drown. Though the thought of the pain of drowning isn't preferable, it's easy to remind myself that, that pain won't last, and soon i will not have the consciousness to perceive it, anyway

I've read a lot of jump survivors, as they are falling, were overcome with regret - wishing they hadn't. I don't worry too much about thinking that, partly because my mind will be on being free, and partly that - even if I do regret it - my life will end soon after and I won't understand the concept of regret either

I don't believe in an after life. But the thought of non existance is enticing to me rather than scary

I'm going to wait until my days off work first, so no one will note my absence right away

This plan is the only warm feeling left in my chest, I want it, like a moth to flame. Cliche

I see you every week but you're no longer mine. You're my best friend's and I'm okay with that.
But I'd kill to go back and relive our time together.

>>17489445
My brother jumped off a bridge one night during Winter. He survived. The thing was after I went into the hospital to see him all doped up on drugs with that stupid smile on his face, I wanted to punch his face in. I was so mad. He was suffering and he never talked to me about it. He never tried getting help. He never made an attempt to get better. He just gave up. I can kind of understand in some points because my family used this tragedy to be the center of attention. The family was fucked up and didnt give him the support he needed.
But he doesnt like talking too much about that night. When I ask, he just says he doesnt know why but things just went black and he gave up. I think hes still embarassed about it. Its been 10 years and he still doesnt talk about it.

The thing is, hes better now. He used to think he was going to die before he was 20 and now he even jokes about living forever. He means a lot to me and I think Id be a lot colder and distant if he didnt survive.

If I have a power cut while out shopping, and come back to see you really, really trying to get a rise from me even when it's impossible for me to reply then I can only wonder why the fuck you're so obsessed

My ex-girlfriend got really close with some guy she met through WoW about a month before we broke up, in that time she distanced herself from me whilst becoming closer with him.

Pretty early on she told me that she had mentioned masturbating to him and I was pissed and asked her not to talk about that kind of stuff, which she brushed off as a joke. A few weeks after this she sent me some screenshots of a Facebook convo between her and him in which he was obviously flirting and told me she had been flirting with him a little bit. I told her I wasn't comfortable with her talking to him and that he's obviously likes her more than a friend and she told me that he didn't and was angry that I was being controlling.

About a week after this she gets drunk on Skype with him and his friends, and whilst drunk asks him to send her a dick picture, which he does.

There's a bunch of other shit she was doing too and people in the guys friend group were calling her out on it.

She broke up with me about a week after this and is acting like this had nothing to do with anything.

I feel bad because she was diagnosed with depression a few weeks ago but at the same time i'm still so angry that I can't be anything more than blunt with her.

This wasn't the first time she did something like this either, dumping me for some other guy, so I feel like a fucking moron.

>>17489494
I used to date a girl who had some clingy hobbit friend that had been hoping to hook up with her for years. Nothing ever happened with him tho, until the dude got pissed she began paying more attention to me than him, and he began paying people to falsify accusations that I was disloyal to her. She was destroyed and left me, afterwards he ran in and tried swooping her off her feet.
She still talked to me in WoW and sent me skype pics. She still came over once in awhile and we fucked. Honestly I was just stupid and thought I could win her back and she would figure out someone was framing me. But her clingy hobbit friend started crying saying how shes his now and to quit talking to me and began spying on her and going through her phone and emails until she stopped talking to me. They finally began dating after that.
She began cheating on him. She said she felt trapped in a relationship with him and would meet guys online.

At this point I grew up and realized she was an awful person and was kind of glad that her and her boyfriend both got a shitty relationship full of lies and they were both unhappy.

Just saying, although odds are youre completely someone else, fuck you. I hope you deserve this.

>>17489521
thats defo not me man, I was dating her for like 5 years with a break in the middle when she fucked off for someone else, I don't think I deserved it, I ain't fucked anyone else over and tried to do the best I could

that hobbit dude would defo deserve it tho, sounds like a fucked up situation

ts

So you told me I will be a piece of shit regardless of who I am because of my job title. I told you to get fucked and then you walk away like I'm the ass hole.

Haha, wow I was thinking about this so much and stressing but after writing this I can see how dumb it is. Thanks man.

Too much guessing. Have hints only you could work out, but you'll never see because you shouldn't be in this thread.
I play S only on 8S, B every other time.
In a certain game, I play S.M.
The first initial of the name you are looking for is G, the second initial is the same as my favourite fish to eat

Aint got no time for this fake detective shit, i just wanted to mindlessly browse my shit. Thank you, have a nice day ;)
initials
K J

For a while now, I've been insulted over and over and over again on the internet, either for playing games or for just posting words.

This entire month was shit because of everyone being an asshole. Not in real life, thankfully, but it's gotten so much worse on the internet. Ironically, here is where peace comes from.

I know I should develop thicker skin, but being told that my people skills are shit does hurt my feelings to the point where I feel anger.

Then again, it was on reddit. I should take it far less seriously, but I just can't.

This is merely 1 example out of 1000, but still, I just want my internet to not be so awful. Not policing, but goddamn. Last year, and even the earlier half of this year were peaceful.

I bought a big can of redds wicked apple ale so I can calm my nerves before going on campus.

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I don't know where to go in my life.

I'm working 6 days a week, and my one day of rest is usually taken up by bullshit from family.

All I wanted to do was get money so I could do college, but I dont even have the time for that it seems. I havnt gone to a social event in months. : (

>>17487828
Oh really? This is what you think?
Can you tell me then why did I take care of you that first night? I didn't even fuck you, we only did the next year...
But again you've forgotten I guess

>>17489711
Okay our projections are getting too far away. I wish you the best.

>>17487971
Désolé pour toi gros.
Pas facile d'oublier une racli. J'avoue.
Par contre poto, pour être ne mode bédo et 8.6 depuis 2ans maintenant, j'te jure mec, c'est pas ça qui montre le bout du tunnel.

Sors, fais des trucs que tu faisais pas avec elle.
Sois toi !
Peace anon

>>17489656
I'm starting to feel better

>>17486905
Who cares? Being an adult is just a stupid title that comes with the age. You don't HAVE to act like an adult, you can be anybody you want. I personally will never lose my childhood innocence. It's one of the worst things you could lose.

>>17489722
Farewell bitch

>>17489733
Adios faggot

>>17489740
Shut up you fucking fake
No way you're my anon
>>17489722
>>17487828

Must get as much alcohol down as I can before I have to go to class.

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>>17489745
No shit, kid.

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>>17489752
I recognize your style.
You're the retarded fake anon from
>>17489740
Nevermind, i will find another anon

I don't think I'll ever get over you.
I feel like we are made for each other and even a year after I decided to give up on you, I still feel excited whenever you text me.
I am so desperately, hopelessly yours.
I wish you deserved it.

>>17489585
Shouldn't have taken her back after the break. Silky mistake we all make

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Fuck man after having 2 girls in 2-3 weeks stop texting me on okcupid for no reason has me really fucked up. Trying to make plans with this girl whose number i got from okcupid, but her not replying to the last text i sent isn't helping me. I really dont want her to be the third especially since she said multiple times that shes down with meeting up. Fuck man i fucking hate loving people.

Right now, this is the most I'll ever acknowledge you. The only memory I will hold onto is your behaviour at this very moment.

>>17489792
Text them this please. Just take a chance. What's stopping you from being with them?

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Moved to a new state, away from all my friends, to follow my wife on her career path. I'm working part-time at a small local store, but I recently had a promising interview for a full-time job. I have so many reasons to leave the shop... owner is super-homophobic (I'm bi and he doesn't know), they have a real problem with wasps in the neighborhood (I'm allergic af), and I work near a pick-up window (also allergic to this stupid farm town).

But probably the biggest reason of all... I, a man content with his marriage to a successful and beautiful woman, am uncomfortably attracted to the owner's daughter. Most uncomfortable about it that she's only 16.

Now I would drown myself in my tub long before I would even consider touching her, but the daughter is tall and very well-developed for her age and damn if I don't have some bad thoughts. Could easily pass as early 20s, and I think she knows this because she's wearing low-cut shit around me.

So there's this, and a few intimate issues my wife and I have been having. Could it be some harbored resentment I have against my wife for ripping me away from family, friends, and familiarity?

Until I figure it out, I'm gonna go rip my dick off so my boss doesn't fire me for checking out his daughter's tits while I wait to hear back about my interview.

Fucker thinks so highly of himself. Truth is, he's a worthless, dumb, narcissistic piece of shit and nothing of value would be lost if he died. Same goes for anyone else like him, which sadly, is the majority of people. I'm not insulting anyone here, I just speak the truth.

>>17489970
He hurt me so many times I lost the count. And, even if I forgave him, he wouldn't be ready for a relationship.
Since we met he grew up a lot and fixed a lot of things in his life, but he's still working on it and he has an innate tendency to fuck up everything he cares about.
I don't want to be another thing he failed at. I prefer being his friend and supporting him. Eventually, if we're truly made for each other, we'll be together.

>>17489980
The same goes for you. If you died, there would be the exact same loss as would be faced if he died. You consider yourself exempt from this for what reason? The difference is they don't seem to be in a thread venting this arrogance, you are right now. Your family would mourn for a while if you died, then life would continue on. The same goes for him, the same goes for me, the same goes for my friends. But you're arrogant enough to call someone worthless as if you're in any way superior

>>17489976
>Could it be some harbored resentment I have against my wife for ripping me away from family, friends, and familiarity?

Yes. You are a horny self-centered little bitch and you need to get some self-mastery. Just because you don't fucking LIKE something is no reason not to man or bi, or girl up.

Homophobic owner doesn't matter because it's JOB and your sexuality, any of it, doesn't fucking belong in a workplace. You are being sensitive, and sensitivity doesn't belong in the workplace. If he can't be professional, YOU CAN so do it.

You don't have to scope out the young cunt. You CHOOSE to. That's more of "thinking like a bitch" instead of mastering yourself. It's pure vain self indulgence so stop choosing it.

You should be able to ignore any sexual advance or other temptation that is not in your best interest. Anything less is weakness and the young bitch is just pussy. It's only pussy. Turn them upside down they are all the same. Cock isn't special either. I've had plenty of both.

Are you sure you aren't gay and just conflicted rather than bi? Might be time to bail and steer into the skid of sexually gorging yourself with one or both sexes until you grow out of childhood.

All I read is "it's all about you" and you don't really want to be with your wife so you are wanting to act out instead. You might be too young to be married and you certainly are not content.

Ask yourself what you really want. This board can't tell you that.

Bifags/gayfags HATE farm towns and will hate them undyingly forever. Unless career takes you to a suitably faggy city you will feel trapped because, well, you ARE trapped. Can't blame you there but be in touch with that.

The wasp thing I totally buy. Anaphylactic shock is nasty. I'd quit based on that without the rest as an excuse.

Do yourself a favor and post your question to Dan Savage at The Stranger. He's the best sex advisor I've ever read.

http://www.thestranger.com/savage-love/2016/08/23/24468662/savage-love

Why are you turning into a lying bitch?

>>17490154
This is the beginning of a wonderful paranoia.

I wonder if we'll see each other this week. I want to wrap up so warm with you, it feels so perfect, each day I'm motivated by you. You make me feel like you're into me, but then again I have a wild imagination. Especially around you. We recognise each other, yet there's hesitation. I'm falling for you too quickly each time. I can't help it. I love you

I spend too much time alone

He said he loved me
I tried to let him know I felt the same

Then he blocked me
I don't know why

>>17490321
You're probably toxic to him.

Just now I fapped. I shouldn't had done it. I feel worse now. I was coming out as happy but I fucked up.

College's starting next week and please don't fuck up again. Don't touch your dick again. Please. You can do it man. You are the only one who can do it. You invested a bit on her and she's not yours. She's meant to you as a sister. Look her as your family. Say a sorry million times to yourself.

You fucked up and you will get up again. You are the man of your life. Now man up. MAN UP!!!!

GOOD LUCK TO YOU BUDDY

stop projecting ffs

>>17490325
What?

>>17490390
I. Hate. You.

I've got feelings for you beyond friendship. Maybe if you hadn't taken out friendship further in the first place, I would not have felt the need for it to be more. Even though I have always felt a deep love for you that I've never been able to recreate with another, since the very first day. It's what I want but I've been prepared to keep it as it was. Because then that was what you wanted. Even though you've led me to want so much more. I always did! And yet, you fuck me over. It hurts. So no I won't be happy to see you with someone else, i would need to be far away. That's why. If you're not mine. Why I would go

Dear /adv/,

I tend to type thorough responses, the kind that end threads. Please let me know your thoughts on the advice, because it's frustrating when you type a long post, maybe even a 2 or 3 parter, and no one says anything.

Yesterday, my grandfather died right in front of me. I administered CPR and pushed through the pain in my arms until the ambulance came took him away with my grandmother. The second the doctor confirmed he was not going to come back I didn't feel sad at all. I'm the only one in my family who isn't grieving and yet I'm the one who saw him die. I try to make myself feel sad by thinking things like 'I'll never be able to talk to him again', but it just doesn't work.

I have this dumb fantasy that next year I'll have a new job, live in the city again, earn a living wage doing something I enjoy, and we'll bump into eachother and have an awkward exchange before I haphazardly ask if you want to catch up and you agree out of politeness. Then we'll talk about the past with hindsight and good humour.

Let's be honest. When I told you that you will never understand me, I said it because I fucking love drama.

It's funny how having a person truly know you is terrifying. I spent my time with you desperately trying to maintain the arms distance that allowed me to function, and when it turned out you could see through me but said nothing I just couldn't handle it. I'd love to be able to do that with someone. To have them know me like you did and feel welcomed by it. That's something I'll have to work on.

See you next year, lol

>>17490451
See
>>17488247

I don't want to wait that long

>>17490481
Trust me, you do. You deserve better than my misery right now. Go be you, you.

I miss you, I hope you're alright but I don't want to see you again.

I'm forcing myself to change just to believe that I'm moving on, truth is that I think about you all the time. I don't know if I can say that I love you but I certainly want you to be happy and find peace from everything that has been troubling you.

I want to call you and ask you to drink and snort coke with me in hotel room. But I thought you d call so Ill go home and cry.

i wish i was born a woman. id never be trans because i think id be ugly af

Hey Sahara sorry, I was nothing like you wanted, and wasted 6 months of your time. Not gonna make that mistake again, the next girl will be a part of my life as much as you wanted to be a part of mine.

I've written so many pointless letters, and vented so many pointless emotions.

I'm kind of sad that we never really connected. I thought you were a pretty cool person. I disliked the fact that you kept me in the dark about a lot of things, but I respected your beliefs and most of your actions. I thought you were cute. Not just physically, but I thought that who you tried to be as a person was cute. I don't mean that in any sort of condescending way, but it was endearing and reminded me of the purity often seen in the young and innocent. You actually made me realize that I loved cute things.

The question of why it was so difficult for us to connect. You as patient as you were, and I as willing as I was. I was overly cautious, skeptical, and I wanted to see something that wasn't there so badly that I overthought everything and made you uncomfortable. I don't think I ever really saw that until we went on our last walk together. It was short, but it was educational. I'm sorry that I scared you, but I think you realized on the way back that I wasn't malicious, just awkward.

I don't know what you're doing now, or what's going on with you. I hope everything is okay. It's difficult to tell from a distance, whether that be due to personal circumstances, or you not wanting to worry people. I hope that eventually you'll find something you're able to do and love, and maybe build up a little bit more confidence in yourself. You're a good person, and I think you have the ability to do quite well at something if you are passionate enough about it.

I've kind of kept you in the dark a bit about my situation. Honestly, I'm not proud of it. I've found myself in a bad place. Emotionally, I've just been uncaring. I'd given up on myself for the longest time, and I was just waiting for the end. I built myself a nice little computer because I though it'd be fun to play some games and bought a ton, but I never really play them.

>>17490642
Things going as they are, I'll probably be getting another job soon. I'm hoping to get into a small garage somewhere, and get a little more hands on experience with automotive. From what I hear, it isn't the best experience working under somebody in a garage and having to appease their goals and directives, but I think it'd be fun. More fun than what I was doing before, at least. Where I'll go from there, I'm not sure. I have no savings, so school isn't really an option. I figure in about 2 years, I should have enough saved up that I could go take some classes for a solid trade. Working in the trades should allow me to make a bit more money, and hopefully in about 4-5 years time, I can start looking at some more long term solutions or a job to go die in. It's funny, that's not really something I wanted to think about back then. All I could think about was being free, so having a job to die in just felt like the worst kind of prison. In actuality though, having a job to die in means that I won't have to worry about my work, and that'll allow me to focus on other things. I should still be in my prime by the time I get this sorted out, so I suppose it's not a complete loss. I have a lot of personal goals I can work towards on the way, and it's not like I'll be completely dead between now and then. I'll survive.

At any rate, I hope you're doing well. I wish you good luck, and it was nice knowing you and having you as a friend.

I can't ask you to hang out in the morning because you'll probably bail on me.

I can't ask you to hang out in the afternoon because you tell me you've made plans. Why are we friends?

>>17490691
Initials?

I wish we talked about feelings like we used to. I'm okay with your past about the hobo encounter and causing a guy to overdose, and I have no plans to rat you out. It'd just be nice to know whats going on in your life instead of getting vague phrases of your current happenings that leave for many worrying interpitations famalam

*slits wrist*

>>17490699
Mine? J T

Theirs? K E

>>17490458
You are in shock. It will hit you later because you were so close to the situation.

>>17490716
BTFO'd

>>17490458
He died relatively quickly, or at least it seems. My grandfather died the long, sickening way; chopping off his feet at the ankles, then the knees & finally at the hips from poor blood circulation. It was not a nice way to leave this life....

Take care of your bodies, everyone.

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>>17486288
I want to find love. I know I never will.

I really want to talk. I gave up on so many things trying to give you space, and you still avoid me as much as you can. I couldn't even make friends because of you, and years later you still haven't talked to me face to face about anything. I want to start over, and I want to make real relationships. I want to actually hear how you feel instead of wondering, but it's been so long that you've all forgotten about me.

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>>17490984
I'm about to blow your mind

You can literally love anyone

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>>17491031
But will they love me?

>21 y/o male here
>just enlisted to USMC
>leaving in January
I don't want to lead someone on, but I'm currently sleeping with someone who is 18, and she is getting attached. I don't like that she is so young, but I guess I got attached
I want out of whatever this is.

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>>17491039
Don't worry boot she'll fuck someone else in no time after you leave

>>17491051
I know this, and I don't ever plan on coming back to my home state again, which is why I don't want a relationship. I want out of it badly.

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>>17491038
You probably want to feel desired more than love

6 billion people on Earth man, odds are you can find someone because at the end of the day people aren't that different

I am 22 and directionless. I have a decent job and make 40k a year so I can live decently comfortably. Nothing excites me, very little interests me. I never finished school, only got 2 years in. I know I could finish easily and get far but I refuse to take part in a system I have logical and moral objections too. My whole life people have told me I am a genius and will go far, but I have zero desire to do so. I want nothing to do with this world, and quite frankly the world in the next 10 years is going to want nothing to do with me. I have no clue what to do with myself.

Your special to me more than you'll ever know. I say I only liked you but with the amount of shit I went through and yet still I'm waiting for your next message, its obvious that the feelings went a bit further. I'm sorry things went the way they did. Sincerely and not that wishy washy bullshit I gave you before. Before it was just me sweeping my emotions under the rug but now I've learned to deal with them at the cost of what was building between us. Everyday is a reminder of what it used to be and everyday is another wound onto me. I can't get caught up in so much self pity to think myself entirely in the wrong like that's gonna magically make all the feelings that go along with this go away. I'm as much at fault as you are and there's no denying it.

Buthey if I could take it all back to the restaurant and start all over I would without a second thought. Your are apart of who I am today and I wouldnt change that part for the world.

I just want the chance to love, and i know its possible, but there is so much judgement inside of me, and i can feel it, and i hate it. I feel sometimes as though i should just leave people alone because i know deep down theyd probably be better off not meeting me at all. but at the same time i know i'm real, and i want to feel and experience life fully just as other people are but i seem to limit myself for some fuckin reason. Maybe i haven't be completely true to myself, as i have a lot going on and almost all the time things feel completely uncontrollable. But isnt that life? live and let live. People are so bearing sometimes,,, but i understand that people cant just live with a five mile thick mask around them all the time as i actually do hah. They need to feel in control all the time but the real reality is there is absolutely no control over anything, and if you think so you are wrong. you did not control yourself coming into this world. There is only the illusion of contorl, and that is fact, i believe life is like a dream floating endlessly but the only thing that is real in this world are the feelings that come out of you, and also there is balance in everything, things will always balance out. not letting them be the real true selves they should be, floating like a butterfly, but in reality you arent, in fact things seem to become weighted down and it feels like you're almost anchored down and you cant move. The only thing we have in this world is eachother. Which is a blessing, but also a burden.Sometimes i wish i could just close my eyes and be completely weightless and free of the world and everything in it, i wish that was how my soul could be all the time haha,But anyway i want to let whatevers gonna happen, you know? I want to float freely and flawlessly with no judgement and nothing but conscious feeling with almost an unconciousness. Part 1/2

It seems though i am attracted to the things the i love, but for some reason those things also hold a weight of everything i hate with a passion. But i think deep down thats a good thing, because i can work on that. If it was something i wasnt so passionately hating or loving it wouldnt be the same. Anway, just typing out recent thoughts here, Dream on, Peace. Part 2/2

It's sad because you're probably drunk.

I once heard say "friends can break your heart too"
But what happens when your best friend destroys everything you are?
Welp, people say I'm more outgoing, but that's because the only person I wanted to talk to already left me
"You show more confidence" but in reality I'm shaking inside, but fo fucks sake no one will see me at my weakest ever again.
"I like the new you, you're not shy anyomore", I wasn't shy, I just didn't feel the need to meet anyone else since my best friend was everything I seeked in a person.
But she left me.
I smile but I'm feeling like I'm dying, I talk to a lot of people because I feel alone without her.

I miss her, but I hate her at the same time.

It's weird but I have no other choice, I can't go back to the old me, I wish but I can't.
I guess it's for the best, or at least that's what other people say

>>17491375
>But what happens when your best friend destroys everything you are?

You still got a pulse pussy

Bitches are stupid man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV2ssT8lzj8

>>17491256
This is so eerily similar to my situation, damn.

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I just dropped a class out of sheer laziness. I wish I had never signed up for the thing in the first place because at least then I'd never have to wonder if it would have gone well.

My degree is (will be - I'm not done) shit, and the program is a bunch of electives. It makes it really hard for me to actually try. I'm going to grad school anyway, anything important will be done there.

Sometimes I wish I can wake up and I'm 9 years old again, it'll be summer and I'm just about to enter 5th grade but I'm still enjoying some great, comfy shit like Super Metroid and Fatal Fury 2 on the Genesis. The only difference is that I'll let my mom know I care and appreciate what she does for me and that it'll be alright.

Every day, even when she doubts herself. She's still alive today, but I hate what she's become.

im done trying

I want the human species to mostly die off, so the earth can heal.

When I get really sick I like to go to gym to spread all my germs around.

>friend's gf wants me to give an advice of what kind of headphones should she present for his birthday
>i asked how much is she ready to spend
>proceed, so i answer with possible variants and best one knowing his taste
>she never reads the message

Fucking cunt.

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>>17491375
I hope that my friend didn't care about me this much. I confessed that I liked her more than a friend, but her family is very religious and she refused to take me seriously. She is the only person that ever accepted me without criticising my interests or my dreams. We were supposed to live in houses next to each other... too bad I wanted to live in the same house.

Staying friends with someone you feel more than friendly about creates such ugly feelings of jealousy and longing. Selfishly cutting themy off in a desperate attempt to salvage some sense of feeling... I make myself sick.

If your friend cares about you, she hurts too. Abandonment is enexcusable, I've realized this myself by now, but there is always a reason.

I had my mother stay with us overnight since she needs someone to bring her back. We live closer to the hospital than she does anyway. Of all the things I do that she's never questioned, the one thing that she actually still ask is "why do you still spend so much money on salmon?"
Please, of all the things you could do, don't go into someone's house and ask questions about the food they spend too much money on right after to wake up in the morning

>>17491838
*right after you wake up

>>17491256
I really wish this was for me.

>>17491345
This guy always thinks I'm drunk when I talk to him.
I'm not, I just don't give a flying fuck about his autism anymore. I have too little energy these days to try and navigate around some nerd's sensitivity or awkwardness.

Why does it feel like everybody are such morons nowadays.
It really makes me depressed to see people actually caring so much about a celebrity or seeing them as all-knowing scientists.

Fucking shit, stop being so fucking dull in your head and start learning on your own.

You mean the world to me. You know this, but you can't wrap your head around why. I know why you can't, there's such a wall built up that it's near impossible for you to see it. Maybe one day I'll break through and you'll finally see why. I know you'll never be able to love me like I loved and still love you. But that's okay, I'm not meant to be loved like that. You would deserve better than me anyway. You're still my world, though, and I'll always been here for you no matter what. Even if you don't want me anymore, I'll still be there. I'm so sorry I can't do more for you.

>>17486288
Why does it matter if eleven is gone if mike and everyone else will be dead anyway. What is the point of anything?

I'm starting to panic that I'll mess up what is probably my last chance at doing something with myself. My confidence is low and anxiety is creeping in quickly. I'm starting to doubt myself. And in turn, doubting us. Fuck.

My time of calm is over. I live in a student appartment, right across from the kitchen, and while everyone was gone for the holidays, now they are back. It's not even 16:00 yet, but there's already someone in there, cutting shit, using some sort of device. I fucking hate it. Every fucking time it goes like this. These girls just set up shop in the kitchen in the early afternoon, and don't leave for fucking HOURS.

I'm trying to work here. So I can get a halfway decent job and GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING DUMP. And I can't even do a nice bit of cooking on my own, because they're always in there! Jesus fucking Christ, I hate shared accommodations, and I hate how they just spend the entire afternoon in there making noise. FUCK OFF ALREADY. These bitches can never do anything quickly. This one has been there for an hour already. What kind of haute cuisine are they cooking that they need to use the kitchen for this fucking long?

Why the fuck wont my brain just let me be happy.
I have a fantastic girlfriend and we're deeply in love. Our relationship is ideal.
But my brain just picks out some unjustified, flavour of the week to feel awful about, and it usually manifests as guilt over stuff I shouldn't feel guilty over.
Past relationships and experiences seem to be the thing at the moment.

I just want to shut my brain up and enjoy how fantastic my relationship but I'm in this habit of intrusive thoughts that pop up all the time when I should just be embracing her.

>>17491733
>reading an audiotaku's endless droning about head phones and speakers

i don't blame her famalam

>>17491256
Wouldn't change the outcome. At all. So stop regretting, and move on.

>>17491989
I believe in you. I'm going to be with you all the way through it.

>>17492073
THEY'RE STILL FUCKING THERE

I had forgotten how much I hate this. I can't even count on getting to cook, because these people just occupy the kitchen for half the fucking day. Of course, they also get pissy if I leave shit sitting out and couldn't magically predict her wanting to stress-bake in the middle of the day again.

Four hours straight of kitchen sounds, kitchen smells, kitchen conversations, while I'm trying to study. I fucking hate this shit. And after this ordeal is over, they'll be doing the dishes, and then maybe I could finally use the kitchen, too!

I hate being in love. It's the worst thing ever. I'm so glad that you cheated on me. It was like I was released from a hellish prison when I no longer felt anything for you. Then you tell me you got pregnant, and the guy split, like I'm supposed to do what? Feel sorry for you and take you back? I know I'm not a very smart man, but I'm not that stupid, either.

Got back from taking my mother to her hospital appointment, then paid a taxi for her to get back to hers. Two breaks in her hand and another hospital appointment tomorrow because it's classified as a trauma, due to the location of one broken bone. All she's managed to do the whole time is be thankful it wasn't my niece who took the impact, since she was holding her when her leg gave way. Thankfully, they don't think she has any lasting head damage, and they aren't too concerned about her knee right now but she needs a referral to get it looked at properly.

But you know, I really don't like how I can go in with her at 22 and because of how I look, the nurse assumed I was underage and still living at home. No, I was only there because letting her walk around with an injured knee is dumb, and she stayed with us last night so that she could get there easier. It's fine that I have ID, but I really can't do anything about how I look. Everyone else laughs but it got old years ago

>>17492558
In 20 years from now you're going to be glad you have those genetics. I looked 19 until I hit 30, then my lifestyle caught up with me... Embrace your looks anon, also post pics for science.

>>17492585
It's just really old by now. The worst part is that if you don't chime in, they just keep going. Being asked about what I do after school ends is something, but when someone asks if I'm going to "be helpful and do all the housework while your mum relaxes, instead of playing with your friends" then it really gets a bit much

>>17492601
So just ask them how much anti-aging lotion they drink every day to try retain their looks. Or tell them to fuck off.

you've changed man, you've really changed. I think the catalyst was her breaking up with you, but i know you know the relationship wasnt healthy, you were only 16 and things were confusing, but what is this trap-house, cocaine molly and ecstasy, chain-smoking, skip school every day bullshit? Back when we used to hang out you had so many dreams and believed in such a positive future. I think the reason I was in love with you was because you reminded me so much of myself, or what I could be. Now the only time you want to see me is to ask me to buy you cigs or alcohol or some bullshit, and i'm tired of it. At this point you've pretty much fucked up your life for good unless you decide to buckle down in your last year of high school, and you know you're on your own since S and I are in college, D is moving to alberta and wants nothing to do with you anymore, and Dyl will eventually leave as well once he sees that you're only using him for his age and his wallet.

You think people drift out of your life because they needed 'something' from you, and once they got it they fuck off, but in realty you're the one who pushes us away. Maybe it's just your narcissism causing you to not see this, but we all care about you a lot and want to see you succeed, but we can't help you if you don't want to help yourself, and i'm tired of chasing after you to try and clean up your messes, I really am. And I know you dislike your current lifestyle since you shoot e a text every few weeks about how you want to change to be a better person, and i'd be happy to help you out, but it just ends up being empty words and you go ahead and do the same thing you do every day; get high on molly and ask people for money for more.

so yeah Y, best of luck to you in the future.

I swear she is doing every thing in her power to make life hard for us. I tell her that money's tight because my hours are reduced and the first thing she does is spend up all of our money on online shit. So now, we can't go food shopping and are pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel, freezer and cupboards and she thinks it's "cute" to be hungry enough to eat a week's worth of dinner in two days. "Anon! How am I going to.. But I need..." Yeah I guess you should have thought of that when you ate two large pots of food for shits and giggles, ya fucking pig. I'm tired of her being allowed to abandon responsibility and then bitch and moan at me to do something about it when shit hits the fan. I can do everything to make things right and keep things running smoothly but still have everything fucked up because she has to take irresponsibility one step further.

My birthday is in 2 weeks, and my boyfriend just spent the rest of his money on weed instead of getting me the present he promised. Every year of my life my birthday has been an afterthought to those around me. Its never celebrated the day of, its always when its 'convenient'. I understand sometimes there are constraints, conflicting schedules and such. I've never complained before about not getting presents or a cake, but this year I know he has the means to really make me feel special and he chooses to get high instead. I just feel so stupid and selfish for expecting my boyfriend to want to spoil me a little bit on my birthday, to make me feel special and wanted. He says he can still get me a present, but 'later'. I feel like he could get it for me ON my birthday but he just CHOOSES not to. It makes me feel like an afterthought, like he'd rather buy an ounce of weed than give me a good birthday. I'm old enough now that birthdays shouldn't mean anything to me, but it just feels so bad that he promised me one thing and does another, that he cares so little for a celebration of my life and he would rather get high instead. I hate that I feel like this, like a selfish brat upset about material items. I'm just upset that he has the means to make me a priority and he chooses not to. I feel like I mean nothing to him.

>>17492763
Nigga u stupid

>>17492772
I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel a bit insulted that only my family cares about my birthday, like no one else is happy I was born. Now on my birthday, I treat myself. I get my favorite meal, order a cake, and buy myself nice present.

Some guys just don't give a fuck about holidays at all. If he doesn't want to celebrate it with you or doesn't really seem interested, then just do your own thing or go out with your friends. It's your day.

I haven't posted or even been here in a while, but I always find myself coming back. I had an okay summer. I met someone, though she dumped me a few weeks ago. I met someone else recently but don't think about it. My friends continue to ditch me, not even my friends at this point. I keep hearing conflicting things on what i've been trying to improve at. I've thought a lot lately about why i'm here, for myself or others, and have come to no conclusion. I feel melancholy a great part of the time, and what I miss most is someone to talk about it with. I'm just really fucking tired.

I can't forgive myself. I'm 24 and been with my girlfriend since we were 17. A few months into the relationship, I cheated. It was fifteen minutes with one of my online friends, one bit of dirty talk, and a noot noot. I realised what I was doing was wrong, put a stop to it, and cut ties with the friend. I've been 100% faithful ever since, and been devoted to my gf, because I love her so much. I've tried to bury it in the past but sometimes it comes back and it's been a rough week because of it. Gf doesn't know, and I don't want to ruin her world by telling her. But on my own side, I think that because I've been to faithful and devoted, and it was just texting, and I put a stop to it, I should get the fuck over it and forgive myself because I was young as shit and immature at the time. I think that since I've bettered myself, it cancels it out, I just don't know how to forget it/let it stay in the past.

>>17493338
You 100% can and should forgive yourself for this.

If you really think you need to tell her then you probably can, but honestly I think making it known that this affects you so much even now is possibly worse than you having done that in the first place. Like it looks weird, as if you're using this to project your doubts on how things are now. Not that I'm saying you are, I'm sure it comes from a good place.

But yeah I mean if she has any rationality she will not give a shit about some online dirty talk that happened seven years ago when you weren't even legal. It's more important that you get over it though.

>>17492187
Trying but when a new message pops in my inbox and I see that face again. Things around fade out, the feelings return and I find myself looking back. Its no excuse, but something keeps tugging on the inside to keep what's left, alive. I can't fight it, not outright. I know what needs to be done but I'm not strong enough man.

>>17491846
Slipper's got the initials BL engraved

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I once called a suicide hotline once.

The person speaking to me laughed at me (due to how I speak, I have abit of a slight lisp and my voice is abit monotone sometimes (rarely), only when I'm really sad/depressed)

After that I decided not to really even bother speaking to anyone else honestly, outside of the people I speak to at work and family.

Hell, many other events in life cause me not to speak to other people.

>>17493425
God you sound like me, only even more pseudo poetic. I decided to stop footing the blame as well, but the trouble is that anger can be too easy a substitute for regret. You can't just go in and say "here are the things that aren't my fault" and expect that 1) it's going to come out like a balanced argument and 2) it's going to be received well. So that bridge is kinda burned for me.

There's something I realised the other day. You know that cheesy bit of pop wisdom that goes "You can't love someone who doesn't love themselves"
I thought about that and it did give me some perspective. I could've said everything the right way or I could've hidden my misery and not made her a victim, but either way I would still be miserable, and I would not be a fun person to be with. Whatever I could've done, I wasn't in the right state to do it. And I'm still not.

It's a massive cliche but you do have to fix your life before you start fucking with other peoples.

Please come back.

We can make this work. I know there's part of you deep down that still believes in us.

You're subconsciously putting up a wall between us as a defence mechanism. If you let it down you'll see how much I mean to you.

All I want is to be with you. I don't care about these other girls. I only want you and I know we can do this. If anyone can do it we can because it's so real. I know we live far away from each other but we can make it.

Please don't leave me heartbroken. I don't know what to do without you.

Someone please help.

I'm starting to think I am legitimately crazy.

Every now and then I get weirdly moody for a couple of days, if not several. I experience many stages, from depression and self loathing, to irritability and straight up hate and disgust towards anyone on whatever occasion. Today I literally mentally swore at random strangers and wished them all to die painfully.

Then there's the anxiety, the fear of something going terribly wrong, torment. I feel scared. Then I don't feel exactly loved or understood. I feel like I don't matter, I'm a bother. I don't know what it's like to feel happy and relaxed and satisfied with the world anymore. I can't sit back, take a deep breath and really relax. I haven't been able to sleep well in months. I always wake up tired.

It's like my brain is a tornado of negative emotions and thoughts and it won't stop. I'm not the same anymore. My honest self is long dead. Life seems pointless and I can't picture what the future is gonna be like anymore. What the fuck do I do?

>>17493503
Initials?

>>17490563
Initials?

>>17493503
Even though I don't pray, I'll keep you in my prayers. It's a way of saying, I hope things go well for you. I know exactly how you feel and it hurts

>>17486599
I know that feel, Anon. I actually came here to post something similar. I'm filling out job applications right now!

>Be dedicated to my job for three years.
>Only ever missed two days, and have covered every other shift I've been asked to.
>Bosses are dishonest and frankly, ignorant.
>whenever something goes wrong they ignore it and play dumb, as if it will go away on it's own.
>Couple months ago, people started leaving and working at a competitor across town.
>Less people means more work for those who stayed.
>This makes even more people leave.
>I am doing the work that five people used to do when I got hired
>Boss has an emergency meeting.
>"I just want you all to know that your loyalty WILL be rewarded."
>Oh shit! Bonuses? Raises? Promotions?!
>Boss starts holding meetings more often, and incorporates a "secret society" sort of feel to them.
>Locks the door, turns the lights off, holds them after hours, and makes us swear to secrecy.
>The meetings always have vague topics. "You know, when I first started, this used to be that way. But not anymore. But this is why it can't be that way." Shit like that.
>Eventually he just uses them as a way to passive aggressively complain about everything.
>Never once has he explained anything of any importance to our actual work or discussed anything of any gravity with any of us during these meetings
>Does this twice a week.
>Everyone seems mystified by these meetings and are speaking about them in hushed whispers.
>We finally find out what the reward is for our loyalty. It's a fuckin' "pizza party". Like we're in middle school or something.
>Today, he had an emergency meeting. He seemed like he really has something important to say this time!
>"I have an announcement to make! Starting Friday, we will be cleaning out the back room. We are turning it into a new conference room for our meetings!"
>Everyone actually claps...

I actually moved across the country for this job. I don't really know anyone here, either.

My husband is looking at loans for first time home-buyers, but I don't want to buy a house with my husband because I plan on leaving him once I have established my new career, and don't want the hassle of a lengthy divorce...

>>17493947
Shouldn't you just divorce him? Like, now?

You're all loved, even if you think you aren't.

I'm deeply regretful that I never acted, and I now realize that inaction is always the worst action to take. If we meet again M, I hope it can be on better terms.

>>17493957
I'm in uni right now. It's much cheaper to share bills until I'm out of school.

I want to fuck you B.
I wanna ride your cock until we're both raw and exhausted.

>>17493998
I don't understand. Why do you want to divorce him?

Why are you going to leave him with enormous amount of debt? Why are you just feeding the stereotype of "the evil maneater woman"?

>>17494013
I don't know where you're getting 'huge amount of dept' from. Any debt he has is from before we got together, and I'm taking my bills and loans with me when I leave. I want nothing from him, and once I'm free, I hope to have nothing to do with him ever again, thus why I don't want to get a loan together.

Not that I have to justify myself to an anon, but I feel like venting. You want to know why I want a divorce? Fine:
He's a power-tripping, emotionally manipulative bastard who continually tries to make me feel bad for his bad decisions.
Last week he got angry at a fucking video game, threw the controller through the tv screen, and then tried to tell me that I should have stopped him, because now he has to buy a new TV and XB1. There are holes in every door and wall thanks to his tantrums.
I'm only still here because I'm pragmatic and have no desire to add more dept onto what I'm already paying for school.

>>17494084
Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't understand. Your first post made it sound like you were going in on a house together, and then as he was paying it off, you were gonna leave him.

No, divorce is fine! I understand that there may come a time when any two people's paths need to split. Y'know, I don't know what it's lime I. Your all's shoes. But anyone who rages and breaks thing over a video game is sort've childish in my book.

You should probably be upfront with him, though. It's hard, but that's the reality. You can peel the band-aid off, or you can take it all off in one quick rip.

Please pay attention to the timezones before trying to comment on them. It just looks stupid.

I dated a girl a year ago.
She was perfect for me but I fucked it up.
I keep being reminded of her and I hate it.

That's all. I just hate remembering her.

I hate feeling comfy, then remembering all of the bad mistakes I've ever made in my life, especially with the ex I've been divorced from for almost a decade. It especially kills me because every form I have to fill out in the future, I'll have to check "divorced", which is always a reminder of my realy terrible and bad decisions. I don't want to fucking remember you. I wish I could replace all these memories of you with anime girls doing cute anime girl things.

File: 1471996512866.jpg (24KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

24KB, 600x600px

I don't want to be sober anymore.

Not responding is just your "thing", I guess.

>>17494236
Living that, negro.

Or I would if I weren't drunk now.
But in between now and the next day I'm drunk, I feel that.

let there be light.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVxhR6VfcCE

I found some old pictures of you on an external hard drive from around the time we met. I guess I wasn't lying that I saved all the pictures you sent me. I thought everything was fine on my end; I moved on and got over everything. I suppose I had filed everything away in the back of my head. Holy shit, I've never cried so hard over seeing pictures. I deleted them all because I know that you'll never come back around, and we've gone our separate paths. Part of me wonders what would of happened to us if we had met under different circumstances. Hahaha, like we ever really "met" in the first place.

"you're finished"

you're mistaken

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKvTQrIFbcc

Most people that gravitate towards me are pot smoking degenerates with no futures besides working hard all their life in the wrong direction and destroying themselves in the process.

Sucks you turned out to be like everyone else

>shitty

I hate you for not trying

It seems like everyone is more successful than me even when I genuinely do my best.

I'm just so tired of it.

>>17494253
C?

>>17486666
Hi Satan

>>17486831
Dude, wait until you're fired. If you resign there is no way you're not getting replaced but if you wait there might be a chance you get to stay.

Should i just take what i want? Without caring about the concecuences?

>>17486905
Sounds like you might be depressed. Anyway, seek therapy you prolly need it.

>>17488109
Good luck anon :-)

>>17494555
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Take that as you will

>>17488608
In a ethical standpoint: yes

In a logical standpoint: no

Don't go to far though this shits can make you go from slight wierd fantazie guy to full creep mode.

I'd say incest is nasty but I'm also really liberal minded so go ahead and fuck your sister. But make sure she consents.

I gotta do something. Gotta take the opportunity.

Just hope this shit works.

>>17490563
Why don't you want to see them?

Watching you talk about her and yourself from what you thought was anonymity is so stupid and by this point you should have stopped the same song and dance a year ago. Not kept the stupid shit going and wonder why you're called a one trick pony.

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17KB, 480x360px

There's always some fucking excuse.

I just want to hold you right now, baby i love you so much if only you believed me when i tell you that i do

>>17494210
Why don't you contact her again?

>>17494410
Ditto

In a way, I'm kind of glad I don't many friends. I've had a lot of time to myself recently and my mind ends up wandering to all the stupid shit I used to say/do and how many friendships I've messed up, but having no friends means having no friendships to inevitably fuck up. I would like to have some internet friends to talk to every now and again, but they also carry the same risks. I just hate the end of relationships. No matter how minor, it just makes me feel empty and bitter.

I unironically love the band Echosmith. Their music is great and seems to have an uncanny ability to put me in good spirits. I even bought their album, which is the first album I've bought in many years. I'm almost certain people I've known and /mu/ would shit on me for that, but whatever.

I watch Game Grumps pretty much every day because I think Danny and Arin are hilarious and they ease my anxiety.

I recently remembered that once my father took a shower with me when my mom and brother were out of the house. At first I thought I was imagining things, but then I remember he pressed my hand to my stomach so I could hold the water and bounce it around.

>>17494711
I tried when we were falling apart.
Messages were left without response.

I do not think I can talk to her without that shame.
Anything I send her will be seen as another pathetic grasp at regaining her.
It's been a whole year. More than that.
18 months?
Almost 2 years now.

It doesn't matter. She's gone.
I am able to accept that I am used to being alone.

Fun fact: I live now, by coincidence, on the street where she used to live. I walk by every day the place where I fucked up. It haunts me.
Every day I wish I see her and I could tell her what I feel.
But she's gone. She moved out.

>>17494733
I'm in a very similar situation anon, I don't know how to feel about getting used to being alone. It hurts a lot but it brings some sort of peace that is still sickening and addicting. I'm sorry if I'm talking nonsense. I hope you find someone new that will change your perspective. Keep moving forward.

>>17494764
>It hurts a lot but it brings some sort of peace that is still sickening and addicting
I know that fucking feel.

You got used to it, you know?
Even after you've let her go.
You get used to being alone.
You have your schedule for each day.
And you go to it.
You fill each day without her.

The irony of being empty is that anything that intrudes feels expansive.
One task a day feels massive
>I don't know... I already went to the grocery store today. I feel like taking the rest of the day off

"I am genuinely curious."
You know when people comment on you repeating yourself, it's because you say that following every other question you ask.

>>17494802
Don't let it keep eating away at you. You could try getting some antidepressants, they sort of make things more bearable and make you functional. Please keep moving forward, you won't stumble upon the right one if you stay in the same place. You deserve better than this.

>>17486288
who the fuck are these people who are just like "if you hate your life so much just go travel the world :^)" like where the fuck do you even have the money? Don't you have bills? A job? Where are you getting this fucking time/funds from? Who takes care of your pet(s) while you're on a months-long journey of self-discovery?

Also fuck all these people like "if you hate it where you live so much just move" like yeah let me just quit my stable source of income and pick my shit up to wander off somewhere else where I have no network and 5,000 to my name. Sure thing.

I want to tell my childhood friend how much I love her but it never feels appropriate. Every time we see each other now she's talking about all of these other guys she's just casually sleeping with now and how she's in love with some dude she met on Tinder who lives a few blocks from her. Gushing to me about how he shares so many interests which are literally the same things I'm interested in as well.
Oh well; there's always next life.

I don't know how to describe it, but I haven't been feeling emotions lately, I have a gentle "ambient" sadness but thats about it. I'm not suicidal, just very...grey?

It's uncomfortable having to fake a personality. I feel like I need to stand naked under a waterfall and think for hours.

I'm worried this is going to change you.

Every time I'm about to tell my boyfriend how I feel I don't instead. It's not about some secret feelings I have. Just in general.. I feel silly talking about it. I feel silly typing this out too.

I just want to die
If my cat dies today I'm doing it
I'm obviously a shit person for using something like that as a scapegoat but I want you to see it as a result of a moment of fragility and not something that is some fault of your own. Fuck, I want you to just forget about me.