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How do I ask for help, /adv/
I've been doing my best lately. I enrolled in a tech school for engineering, I found a girl to talk to who I'm falling in love with, and I've even got a workout routine planned, starting tomorrow morning. Everything is going so well. But I feel terrible. Almost worse than I did before. Just about the same level of terrible actually. My anxiety is through the roof, every minute I'm worried if the girl I'm talking to really likes me or if I'm driving her off. I haven't done any math in a while, so I failed my first learning support math pretest in my class and that's been driving me crazy. Every time I go to work, even though my hours have been shortened, I get stressed out to the point of crying. I self harmed for the first time since I was a kid yesterday and again today, and today I had awful suicidal thoughts and went as far as setting everything up to get it over with.
I don't want to drive off the girl I've met with all this, I don't want to ruin this semester of college by having anxiety attacks like I did with high school. But I don't know how to fix any of this. Who do I ask to help me? What do I do if the girl finds out I'm this sad and decides to leave? What if my therapist thinks I need to be admitted to the hospital for what I tell them and it fucks up my classes? If I can't talk to my therapist about this, then who can I talk to?
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It sounds like you're just scared of disappointment. Just remember that failure can happen one million times, but whenever you succeed it'll outweigh it all.
Your therapist won't send you to a hospital you're getting your life together and it's supposed to be stressful.
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>>17484736
I definitely am scared of disappointment. But I've failed too often, I'm a highschool dropout and I've already dropped out of college once. I feel like now I'm going right back into failure. And I know I'm supposed to fail and learn from it, but college is expensive. It was hard to save up enough for tuition working at fast food. I don't want to have to do this a third time
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>>17484754
I would say that it is all about mentality. Basically telling yourself that you need to become better for yourself. I've heard that others say you should start working out and reaching small goals but I prefer to watch anime which pushes me forward.
Also, it's nice to have someone like you back. Fall in love anon it's the best thing out there to experience. Take risks and do what you want to do. Tell yourself to become better and have the mentality of becoming great for yourself. Don't worry if you will follow suit to what's in the future because who the fuck knows the future. But if you set small goals and build your self esteem.
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