This haunts me every single day, but to really get where I'm

>>17482005
Obsessing like this is pretty autistic

Autism is a spectrum. You sound like you lie some on it, but not near either end. Our understanding of autism is better now than when you were a kid, so it might pay to go and see a professional about this.

>>17482032
I feel like it's more of a paranoia and constant anxiety. Also because autism is about "not being able to tell one is not normal" it's like how am I supposed to know if I am autistic or not even if I feel normal?

>>17482046
How would you know if I laid somewhere on it?

Also I know they're worthless but every online test I could find said I was normal, and I answered honestly

You write too eloquently to be autistic. Period. You're not. Go to college, make new friends, and never bring the shit up.

You write too well. If you're on adderall, maybe go off it. Idk. You got it. Move on with my assurances.

>>17482072
I forgot to mention, I had already graduated college. Only my closest friend knows about this whole dilemma and he said he never thought I was autistic, but again I'm still paranoid people say things to make me feel better.

It's pretty shitty on my part that I can't trust him that he's telling the truth on this, even if I trust him on everything else.

My cousin didn't start speaking until he was 4-5 as well. He got a speech therapist but it seemed like he was still talking like a toddler. Over time it got better, and right now he is a very smart teenager.
Your parents were stupid as fuck to obsess over a diagnosis. You're stupid as fuck to obsess over it as well. Realize that some people are antisocial and keep to themselves, it doesn't make them autist.
Stop thinking about it a diagnosis, and think more of "this is part of my personality, it doesn't mean I am autistic"

You are whatever you are, man. A label doesn't change anything unless you let it.

>>17482086
Go write to someone with Autism. You won't get one like how you responded to me. You are O K.

It is hard to ditch what people have ingrained in you, bu

Forgo the inspirational speech, I found myself trolled.

Can you recognize facial expressions? Tell when someone is mad, mad, etc.? Do you think you experience empathy?

>>17482099
like can't tell if you're trolling. You are probably just smarter than average. My personal diagnosis based on your posts.

>>17482096
To me, there is a notable difference between normal and abnormal, and I don't want to view myself as a lesser creature or be pitted in the same ring as the autists I actually know who are completely abnormal

>>17482102
I can catch subtle changes in facial expressions, and believe I experience empathy like everyone else does.

>>17482102
Autistic people can read facial expressions like anyone else.

>>17482112

You probably don't have the 'tism then, or if you do it's extremely mild. I would go get yourself re-tested, if it comes out your not you can start dealing with the bitterness misdiagnosis has left you with, if you are you can start dealing with being somewhat autistic.

>>17482116

Most struggle with it.

>>17482136
I feel like I've been dealing with the former for at least the last five years, and that I can't move on from it.

>>17482088
Your answer is the right thing to do and I know it, but that one bit where my father said I was in denial keeps me from fully moving on, even if he just said it out of anger that I got a driving ticket.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labeling_theory

here you go anon,
go read some sociology.

>>17482174
Very interesting link, thanks for the read!