I fell in love with a single mom, but I can't love her the

>>17480070

I was completely drunk with love.

I also need to add that we haven't seen each other for nearly 2 months, mainly because her job and son (the only free day for her is Sunday and of course it would be all her son), and also stopped replying or ignoring or replying too late my messages. So I started to feel really bad, missing her, a fucking lot. And I also started to think about the inevitable end of this. So also said a lot about "when this ends, if this ends soon" etc.

So I sent her those, but she stopped replying. And I kept, and kept, until she said something like this:

"I could make a better effort to see you if you could stop reminding me that for you this is something "brief". It doesn't matter if I tell you I love you, reality won't' change."

I told her "I'm sorry, Forgive me. But yes, reality will never change"

She said: "Then leave me alone"

I think she misinterpreted my reply. I didn't mean to say that this is actually something "brief", but the reality that we can't really be much more in love. Or maybe I was stupid and immature.

I sent her a really long text trying to say sorry and stuff. She only replied that she can't text right now because she's too busy. I said, okai, and haven't and will not text her again for some time.

So people, what happened? Was it my fault? Am I an idiot?

>>17480083

Also excuse me for the terrible grammar and writing. My mind isn't working very well right now.

>>17480083
>"I could make a better effort to see you if you could stop reminding me that for you this is something "brief"

Yeah, you assumed you were both on the same page. She may have told you at some point that she doesn't see a long term future, but clearly that changed. As evidenced in the above reply to you. She distanced herself because you told her nothing can come of your relationship. She is hurt by that. She doesn't want to waste any more time or emotion on someone who cannot be the person she needs for her and her child.

And you don't want to be that person. You want all of the benefits of a relationship and love, but not the long term commitment. You two are incompatible.

Time to grow the fuck up and figure out what you need in life. If it's casual shit, then be casual with someone. If it's a long term relationship. then get one. But this teeter-tottering between the two is retarded and has hurt two people in the process. Neither of you is better for what happened here.

Leave her alone. Let her get on with her life. You do the same and work on your head. You're playing dangerous games with people.

Both of you are at fault here for the simple reason that you tried to make something out of this.

Why would she, a 27 years old mom get involved with someone who's barely old enough to be looked at as an adult? She needs stability and support now, not a lover. Especially not a 22 years old lover.

And much more importantly, why would you, a 22 years old get involved in any way with a 27 years old mom? You have your whole life ahead of you, you have all the freedom in the world and you want to use that freedom to stay around a 27 years old woman and her 5yo son like a puppy? You said it yourself, you can't love her "the way you'd like" and that's simply because deep down you know that a relationship with her would be bad for you. Fucking hell mate, just find a girl your age and enjoy your youth, don't waste it on old hags and other men's children.

>>17480097

Thanks for your response.

Yes, I admit I was playing with fire. But I can't take all the blame, as you mentioned, since she seemed fully committed to this. Like I said, she was the one that really wanted to "love" me.

She's a really extraordinary person. It is what really hurts me. She deserves a lot of love, everything amazing in life. I wish, I really wish I could be with her. I really fell in love.

But yes. Sometimes life sucks. We just need to keep on moving.

Btw, do you think I could talk to her face to face to end this properly? I don't want this to become just some stupid whatsapp talk.

>>17480140

Thanks for your reply.

Yes, you said it very well. It does hurt me, but that's the truth.

>>17480083
Seems to me that she doesn't just have a 5 year old, now she also has a baby

>>17480162

LOL. Aaah, thanks anyway. Some LOLS make me feel better.

>>17480097
You assumed one side is allowed to change her mind all of the sudden with no explanation and the other one should be ok with it.
If anything she should have talked about it with op instead of just cutting contact as an ultimatum or punishment
But yeah op she wants a baby daddy, you don't want to be one (trust me you don't) time to learn you can't have your cake and eat it, you ordered the cake, it was good cake, it's gone now. If you want more cake get another cake

>>17480148
>Btw, do you think I could talk to her face to face to end this properly?

This is about as stupid as the rest of your "I need things to be a particular way" attitude. If you want to talk to her face to face then ask her. Don't expect that she will have any particular interest in it, and I really have to question why this matters to you. You keep writing that you don't want the relationship, she's told you essentially that it's over. How is this not "properly" ended?

>>17480174
>she wants a baby daddy

That's a rather large assumption to make. All it really sounds like is that she doesn't want to be with a guy who constantly tells her that they have no future.

>>17480192
Is a big assumption that a man on fire wants water too?

>>17480192

Well, I just want to at least clear my name, and via chat I cant.

And yeah, if I start to see this the way some people here see it (casual stuff), I could have fucked her more and then do something to end this anyways.

But yeah, I fucked up, badly. I ruined it. In fact this is the 2° "important" problem I got with her. It was kinda the same like this, but she started it. I forgave her. Now that I fucked up, she makes me feel like shit. Ah, girls.

>>17480206
It takes two to tango. She didn't force you to have sex with her, did she? She didn't force you to agree to a relationship. You could have said no. Now that you've caught feels you want to pass the buck. It doesn't work that way. Take some fucking responsibility.

>>17480225

Yes, it is partially my fault. And I will do something about it. That's why I NEED to talk to her face to face. Wish me luck, at least.

>>17480070
You fucked up by talking to her after you fucked her.
You chose to keep seeing her.

Drop her and live your life, or step up and be a step dad.

I don't understand how you are in love with her though, you fuck and hang out, you haven't been dating for a while, she hasn't seen you in nearly 2 months, it isn't a relationship by any stretch of the imagination.
Would I be correct if I suspected that you don't have much experience with women?

>>17480231
It is as much your fault as hers. If you go to her and give her the same "But YOU wanted this relationship!" bullshit she is going to rightfully call you a piece of shit. Yes she may have come on to you first but when you agreed you became an equal party in this.

I'd wish you luck but unless you change your thinking it's unlikely to go well.

>>17480245

That's the ugly part of this. I fell in love with her not because she's actually hot, but because I see in her an incredible, extraordinary person, that sacrifices herself for others, obviously, that suffers stuff that she shouldn't be feeling.

But well, it is my opinion. Maybe she's happy how she decided her life to be. But personally I think she deserves a fucking lot more. Really. She's a great person. But yea, I wasn't that strong to say "no".

I was just delusional and blind. Drunk.

I'm not experienced in single moms, until now, tho ;~)

>>17480246

Nah, I won't start to blame. I just want to tell her why my attitude suddenly changed from "I love you" to "OMG I LOVE YOU I WILL NEVER FORGAT YOU".

Then I'll see what happens.

>>17480259
>I'm not experienced in single moms, until now, tho ;~)
You aren't experienced now either, because you are crying to 4chan that you lost the bitch and her baby that you love.

Did you have much experience with women before you met the woman who doesn't want to see you?

>>17480273

I'm here just to hear second opinions, not to cry about it.