how long should i wait for my boyfriend to want to move in with

>>17473289
Have you spoken of moving in together yet? This post doesn't really give enough detail to just say "Yeah, leave him."

>>17473291
multiple times. he wants to wait 7 years until he's 25. i think after we finish school in 2 years is reasonable. im hurt that it would take him that long to decide to even be a little serious. he's unwilling to compromise on this in spite of seeing the average amount of time to be 6 months to a year.

>>17473291
what details do you need? >>17473291

>>17473318
Sorry, I walked away from the PC. Has he explained his reasons for wanting to wait so long?

>>17473289
Do you think that a relationship isn't serious unless you live together?

>>17473314
I think that's a little nuts. I can see waiting until you're in a more financially stable spot, since school is a huge time and money suck, but what's with this magic 25 number?
Is he really conservative and one of those people who thinks living together before marriage ruins it or something? Maybe he's got some bad habits he doesn't want to show you? Idk.

But I mean, I'm with ya. If after 4 years of a good relationship with no major issues, it would BE a major issue to me if he had no interest in living together. I'd express how important it is to you, like reeeeeaally sit down and make him listen to your side of it. If he still won't budge, well, one of you is gonna have to. If neither one of you will, then there's your break up.

>>17473405
he refused to give any reason except "I'm not ready"

>>17473413
slightly. but a bigger issue is i feel that if after 4 years he's not ready to do even that small thing, there must be a problem, and he won't ever be ready.

>>17473421
he's said he'll do it to make me happy though he'll be miserable. but that's not what i want. i want reasons from him so that i can explain myself or fix any problems he thinks we'll have but all he says is he's not ready and he's only 20.

i don't see living together as that big a deal though, just a next step to see if you're compatible for marriage.

moving in is not a "small thing"; moving in is the biggest thing, far more game-changing than marriage and second only to (and only maybe) children.

If he's not ready, he's not ready. But I can tell you have an extremely naive view on relationships, so I don't expect this will go well.

>>17473864
>i don't see living together as that big a deal though, just a next step to see if you're compatible for marriage.
That's part of the issue. Most people do see it as a big deal, including him. It's not something you do just because you're with someone. You need to plan carefully. And if he's wanting to wait a few years after school, it's because he may find better job prospects but can't jump on it because tying himself to a lease with you is holding him back.

In this, you are not compatible. And if you're willing to jump ship because he's not ready, then I'd say you're not ready for a relationship.

>>17473289

moving on at any time is reasonable. you are clearly not married and hes not ready to make things permanent, so you dont have to either.

that doesnt make you right. that doesnt make him right. its just two people who want different things. sometimes finding out oyu have 'stronger feelings' for someone can be what undoes a relationship.

and people grow and change. 4 years ago i broke up with a girl cuz she DIDN'T want to move in after a year of dating. now you couldnt pay me to have a girl move in.

that being said, whats so important about moving in if you think about it? is that kind of commitment important to you?

or rather whats more important: having a commitment, or being with someone you truly enjoy?